Suspicous of Girlfriends Behaviors

[jossi]

O.K. Well I would appreciate some help on this subject. Its in my mind constantly. I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months and have been good friends before that for about 3 months. I must admit that I totally love this girl. She tells me she is in love with me and as far as I can tell it is sincere. Now the one thing that makes this VERY hard is that this relationship is also long distance. I live in Northern California and she lives in Los Angeles! We have been very good about visiting each other, we visit at the least every 3 weeks. Now my concern is that she does have alot of friends at the university she ateends,(USC) which do include some guy friends. Now my gf has always showered me with praise and always tells me how much she misses me and how amazing I am. I think the same way about her. Lately though, Ive noticed that the compliments have diminished. She tells me about this new friend she has named "Tim". She has hung-out with him the past couple of nights and whenever I have called, or she has called me, she sounds really weird. It doesnt sound like her at all!! She gets quite and very suspicous sounding. PLus she doesnt want to say I love you when we hang up when she is with this guy! She ALWAYS does! Am I over-analyzing the situation? I am going to her see her tommorow she is coming up to Nor-Cal to visit. Should I confront and ask why her tone sounds so weird when she is with him? She does get annoyed when I ask about her guy friends. But I dont care if I annoy her because I have the right to ask certain questions, I dont want to be living out every day with suspicion! So I am asking how should I go about confronting her and should I do it now over the phone, try and resolve it, and the when she gets here the problem will be behind us. Or, wait tell she is here, do it in person and potentially ruin the weekend?
Fellow Djs please help.

Jossi

 

[Bvbidd]

O.K. Well I would appreciate some help on this subject. Its in my mind constantly. I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months and have been good friends before that for about 3 months. I must admit that I totally love this girl. She tells me she is in love with me and as far as I can tell it is sincere. Now the one thing that makes this VERY hard is that this relationship is also long distance. I live in Northern California and she lives in Los Angeles! We have been very good about visiting each other, we visit at the least every 3 weeks. Now my concern is that she does have alot of friends at the university she ateends,(USC) which do include some guy friends. Now my gf has always showered me with praise and always tells me how much she misses me and how amazing I am. I think the same way about her. Lately though, Ive noticed that the compliments have diminished. She tells me about this new friend she has named "Tim". She has hung-out with him the past couple of nights and whenever I have called, or she has called me, she sounds really weird. It doesnt sound like her at all!! She gets quite and very suspicous sounding. PLus she doesnt want to say I love you when we hang up when she is with this guy! She ALWAYS does! Am I over-analyzing the situation? I am going to her see her tommorow she is coming up to Nor-Cal to visit. Should I confront and ask why her tone sounds so weird when she is with him? She does get annoyed when I ask about her guy friends. But I dont care if I annoy her because I have the right to ask certain questions, I dont want to be living out every day with suspicion! So I am asking how should I go about confronting her and should I do it now over the phone, try and resolve it, and the when she gets here the problem will be behind us. Or, wait tell she is here, do it in person and potentially ruin the weekend?
Fellow Djs please help.

Jossi

She's been ****ing guys behind your back. Harsh but %100 true. Not just because she may act weird or her voice sounds diffrent but mainly because of the way you talk and the fact she sees you every 3 weeks. She's in her party time of life man.

If she has not had sex with Tim yet she probally wants to a lot secretly. He probally makes fun of her or always gets on her nerves or some stupid reason. This **** is too predictable, even without this site.

I got to ask, how old are you?

Do you not have other friends or perhaps girls you know?

 

[BlahBlah]

She's been ****ing guys behind your back. Harsh but %100 true. Not just because she may act weird or her voice sounds diffrent but mainly because of the way you talk and the fact she sees you every 3 weeks. She's in her party time of life man.

If she has not had sex with Tim yet she probally wants to a lot secretly. He probally makes fun of her or always gets on her nerves or some stupid reason. This **** is too predictable, even without this site.

I wouldn't say it's 100% true she's f*cking guys behind your back (although it's highly likely)... but I'd say it is 100% true that mentally she's already broken up with you and will probably be doing so officially quite soon. Relationships are hard enough when you live in the same city... long distance just makes it 10 times harder.

I've been in the same situation as you bro (more or less)... if I were you I'd be preparing for the break-up and start trying to find some new replacement(s) in my area ASAP.

 

[Bvbidd]

I said %100 true with the ****ing part because I'm assuming she is average or above average looking, not sure why I just assumed that. If not.. then yeah what the guy above me said she likes other guys besides you.

There is no fixing this, break up with her NOW.

She may want you back later but only if you break up with her NOW.

 

[jossi]

ok wow, glad I got a speedy response. Im almost 21 years old. I do have alot of guy friends and a good amount of girlfriends. So you guys can really tell that fast that she is cheating? help me break that down

 

[Bvbidd]

Is she alright looking?

If she is then.. She is without a doubt cheating.

There is no need to break it down, you don't even need a site like this to know this. She is down there partying. Your "Love" for each other is not going to stop her from doing something her instincts actually want her to do when she is drunk. Even when she isn't drunk.

She may have resited a few times, then started looking at it pragmaticlly and realized your realtionship is not worth it and then did it, but she probally didn't think about anything at all and just did what she wanted to do.

 

[BlahBlah]

ok wow, glad I got a speedy response. Im almost 21 years old. I do have alot of guy friends and a good amount of girlfriends. So you guys can really tell that fast that she is cheating? help me break that down

I was careful not to say definitively that she's cheating on you. What I'm saying is that, based on what you wrote above, if she hasn't cheated on you yet she either:

1) Will cheat soon.
2) Will break up with you soon.

I had a girl where we were in a long distance and we'd be all lovey-dovey when we'd talk to each other and whatnot. Then I noticed a change VERY similar to the one you mentioned above, and at the time I didn't know why that change took place... I thought it had something to do with me.

Then she breaks the news to me about some guy named Marvin she met that month... then came the increasing blow-offs... which led me to break up with her (which was very hard for me at the time because she was my first love).

She talked to me out of the blue recently after years of no communication... telling me she ended up moving in with the guy, he started to physically abuse her, she moved out, has had a rather sh*tty life since, and keeps telling me how foolish she was for letting me go. And although it was painful as f*ck to break-up with her at the time, I do NOT regret that decision because in the longrun it was what was best for me. And if I wanted to get back with her (but why would I?), I know the offer is on the table.

Here's the way I look at long distance relationships. Say you're a BF10, perfect personality. But you live extremely far apart. All it will really take is a RANDOMGUY7 or 8 who's persistent enough to basically steal that girl from you.

Just my two cents. Good luck brother.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

I'm in agreeance with everyone else.... She may not have cheated on you, but chances are, she's thinking about it.

I'd tell her this whole long distance thing isn't working out for you and break up with her. Sounds awful, i know, but when you can see the inevitable coming, your best bet is to maintain some sense of pride and dignity and dump her before she dumps you.

all these weird behaviours your describing are real. Your gut feeling is talking to you and you should listen.... You are not imagining it or over analyzing anything.

Trust me, I've been in this situation before.... Break up with her and mean it. Don't stay in touch. You'll only prolong the hurt.