Survey: What's the dumbest sh*t you've ever seen a guy do to get a chick?

[disciple]

Hello, I'm your host Disciple and its time for another episode of.........................STUPID SH*T GUYS DO JUST TO GET SOME P*SSY!!!!!!
Please, please, hold your applause until later (hands clapping and audience cheering in the background). Anyway, today on this show, we are asking for our viewers to share some of their stories about guys making complete a$$holes out of themselves just to get some coochie. So, my brothas, please feel free to sit back, think about it, and share some funny sh*t with your fellow DJ's. Oh yeah, personal f*ck-ups and dumb sh*t you did are also welcome.

 

[disciple]

Thats what I'm talking about. That was some funny sh*t.

 

[So Many Ways]

I know a few.

My roommate in college was going to give this girl a sappy poem to get her to come back. I begged him not to do it, he came to his senses.

My brother got the idea to leave a poem and roses on this girl's front door that he just met, thinking she would be impressed. Again, I begged him not to do it and he didn't thank god.

I once called this girl 3 times in a 3 hour period or so after getting her phone number. Yeah I got laid, yeah right.

I once declared my love for a female friend in person, thinking that would make her run into my arms. Didn't happen. Now I get ill just thinking about it.

When I was in college, I called an ex, drunk out of my mind at 2am but she was actually still jocking pretty hard. We ended up getting together the following weekend.

 

[Hypoxia II]

really stupid chit

I knew a guy a few years back who blew off an audition with an A&R from Time Warner Records to stick a chick who was in town for a few days without telling the rest of his band....

He now works at Taco Bell and is 30 years old.....

___________________________________________________
All you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be.
Hypoxia II

 

[Seizing The Day]

I know of 2 shining examples:

A friend years ago told me that his Dentist's asst. was a total dollbaby. Just to have an excuse to go back, the retard actaully loosened his fillings and made an appointment to see his dentist again! Turned out she was married with kids........

Back in my college days, I met a gorgeous creature who was a professors asst. and running a weekend tutoring lab. Like a moron, I volunteered to help with tutoring just to be around her. Little did I know that she was dumping off all the weekend crap onto me and I was stuck working with nitwits who stared at assignments like a praying mantis for a whole month. Turned out she was boning the professor and had no interest in me at all.

 

[cyrus]

I had a colleague who wanted this girl so bad that he bought her a lot of expensive stuff-bags, shoes, jewelry, cellphone etc. In the end, the girl ended up dumping him. Take note, this girl never became his girlfriend, he was trying to impress her so she would consider him. Wasted alot of money, ended up with no coochie...pathetic.

 

[disciple]

Okay, Okay. I think it is only fair that I share something stupid I did to get a girl. Once, several years back, there was this girl I used to work with and I laid my game down tight and she was treating me like a king that day. We were having an office party and man I had this girl serving me food and everything. It was the last day before the job closed down for a short Christmas break.

I happened to go to the bathroom and when I came out she was gone. I asked someone where she went and they said she was leaving for the day. I thought, "Damn, I gotta get that number cause she's open on me." Without thinking, I made a mad dash for the nearest stairway and ran 4 flights of steps like an a$$hole to the main lobby. I think I broke a few Olympic hurdling records cause I was jumping over **** and doing a Batman. I ain't gonna front, this chick was bangin and yes I was thinking with my less intelligent "head".

What's crazy is that I actually caught the chick just as she was walking out. Now I'm all out of breath looking half crazy and sh*t but I kept my composure and got those digits. I eventually had to let that chick go because of the situation with her child's father but that day was funny as hell.

 

[disciple]

Also, thanks to all of you who have posted some funny stories or experiences on this thread. A Don Juan needs to laugh sometimes so we don't get too uptight while we're busy pimpin and playin. By all means, keep em coming!!

 

[DopeStar]

I know I know it’s only my second post... anyway I saw this shyt today at work actually.

I was sitting in the front office working on this new little hotties computer when her phone rings. Well she gets off the phone and seemed almost disgusted, it was the guy who sits in the front office with her and she happens to be at that time of the month. It turns out that this guy knew this and while he was out on lunch he called her to find out if she would like him to pick up something to help her feel better(Midol).

It was so sad, you should have heard her, she was talking to him like he was a child, terrible. We just laughed at it, Game on.

And

Last night I was hanging out with this one chick and she had a guy coming by to drop off something (this was cool with me since I was going to reap both benefits from her and I did). Well she runs down to the car, gets it and come back up a minute later. Not 10 minutes later he sent her TWO text messages (he knew I was upstairs too) telling her that he thought she looked cute. I just laughed at her and asked her what kind of discount she gets for the *******s.

It turns out I get both for free.

 

[Lost In Translation]

i was with my ex - wingman

he starts telling these two chicks that he was in jail

then he pulls out his jail ID card that he had kept from when he had got out of jail a month before....

...yep you guessed it... to show to young chicks as social proofing that he was a bad boy

i been to jail too but i wuld be ashamed to tell any chick that EVER.

worst part is when he showed them his jail ID card the chicks went crazy over him....

ok my other one :

some drop kick used to get alot of girls

he had been sent a letter saying he had lost his licence and he showed it to chicks and still drove his car. so he was a bad boy and the chicks loved him.

YES CHICKS ARE REALLY REALLY DUMB.

back when i was younger guys used to pick up chicks using their court papers with all their charges.

fu** it pisses me off how dumb women are


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[disciple]

Yo, that jail sh*t is funny but true. Chicks really are that freakin stupid. I have a scar on the top of my head that I got when I was five years old due to a car accident. I usually wear my hair very short or sometimes bald and when chicks are rubbing or playing with my head they'll often ask about it. I've made up all kinds of stories about how I got that from fighting and, "Man, you should have seen the other guy", that type of sh*t. And the stupid broads believe me cause I say it with a straight face. Can they really be that simple in the brain? Let me think...........hmmmm...............YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Austin Allegro]

I was once on the top deck of a bus in Oxford, stuck in traffic.

In the crowd on the street below, a stunning blonde HB9 was strolling along.

This geeky looking guy in a long black overcoat saw her, and did a double take.

Then he ran into a shop nearby, and came out with a huge bunch of flowers, chased after the HB9, tapped her on the shoulder and presented her with them.

She just looked completely embarrassed and a bit scared.

I'd love to have seen the next bit but the bus drove off!

 

[sensible juan]

I get nightmares with this ****, happened way back when i was still in high school this Ho i am drooling about was a HB9 after exchanging pleasantries a few times i told this buddy of my who is geeks in designing custom love cards to do a real nice card to impress this love of my life [AFC that i was].

My buddy said okay the will churn out one of his best materpiece but since he is having problem with his bike that he will use my bike for two weeks with out thinking [i dulled brain that i was, i said why not].

He churned out this masterpiece and i hand it over to my princess in school she smiles and collect it thanking me and even giving me a hug. I was high all day feeling like the Ancient Don juan and invincible.

Guess what happened when we are going home sitting on the back of my bike while my firend is on the wheels[i begged him to give me a ride]. At the car park we saw the love card shredded into pieces.

"**** will forge you" - Sensible Juan

 

[disciple]

Good stories. It is truly amazing what a guy will do just to get some a$$.

 

[Player_Supreme]

threaten to commit suicide and cry.

 

[stevera004]

Allowed a psycho manic-depressive (clinical diagnosis) to move in with me. But wait, it gets better .... I lived with said psycho for the better part of 4 years. No kids though (phew)!

 

[sensible juan]

One of the greatest Don Juan jumped into the sea infront of the most sought after beau to prove his love.
The HB12 [Scale breaker] cried her heart out for months the DJ so crafty hide himself for months when he showed up the beautiful princess couldn't believe her eyes she begged the DJ to marry her immediately.

"Be Crafty and Ingenious" - Sensible Juan

 

[Doro Ajani]

Originally posted by MetalFortress
Oh wait, here's another submission.

Buddy of mine sometime ago, got a crush on a chick with multiple personality disorder. He convinced one of her personalities, but had two more personalities to try to convince before eh could date her.

That's funny...I can only imagine what happened when he had sex with her when the personality that was into him was in control, and then him trying to deal with the other two that weren't feeling him....

Maybe he could create a movie script from this experience...

Doro Ajani

 

[disciple]

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

 

[Tkman]

I know this idiot who is crazy about this chick..... he buys her breakfast, lunch, drives her where ever she wants, buys her drinks, gives her money, EVERYDAY ..................

She asked me for lunch, I told her to, "shut up and stop nagging" ....... now she wouldn't stop calling me