Survey says 96% of men who try online dating will fail

[don't]

They aint using CherryBlossoms.com, then. Those Filipinas are ready to do anything, for virtually anybody, for 5 years, to become US Citizens.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I'm a decent looking guy and I know that goes in my favour, but I am definitely not in the top 4% best looking guys, not even top 20%, which tells me a lot of guys are just going about it all wrong.

Then again, listening to what all the women tell me, it does sound like majority of the guys on POF are clueless. They're either chumps, sleazebags or wannabe bad boys.

This is true too. There is an unbelieveable amount of totally clueless dudes using online dating. Hilarious part is no matter what you tell these guys they simply REFUSE to listen. The amount of dudes using online dating who want to 'nice' people to death is mind boggling and I don't blame women for running for the hills from some desperate, no challenge, possible control freak.

However the site is loaded to the gills with low quality trash women. I don't care how good they look or seem in their profiles. Issues galore. I've spoken with countless and wouldn't waste my time..but if you're looking for lays, look good in your pics, have a short, funny, interesting non chalant attitude profile, while spamming out funny, eye catching first emails and have solid online game.. POF is the way to go. Relationships. Hell no.

 

[Zarky]

don't you find yourself intellectually repulsed by the average online 6?

To be honest I find myself intellectually repulsed by pretty much everybody I meet (present company excluded of course), so...

Ultimately, women are fungible, IMHO. They're like $100 bills.. only really useful in large quantities. You're sad when you lose one, you're sadder when you lose a bunch, but they all look pretty much the same.

That's just me though, some guys see huge differences between women I guess. I just don't. If they meet my minimum level of attractiveness, put out, and don't act like a b*tch, then they go right in my wallet along with the other $100 bills. I call them all the exact same pet-name, I say the same sh*t to them, I screw 'em all pretty much the same way, I mix up their stories.. I just can't tell the difference.

So for pure numbers, which is what I go for, online does the trick for me.

 

[Wilko]

To be honest I find myself intellectually repulsed by pretty much everybody I meet (present company excluded of course)

But of course.

This past year I had some fairly vanilla sex with a couple of average girls and the experience left me completely underwhelmed, to the extent that I resolved I was only going to trouble myself with girls who were moderately attractive, exceptionally dirty, and exceptionally good company.

Guess how successful that strategy was? In hindsight, it was completely unrealistic and pointlessly idealistic. If I want to get laid more often (and I do) I'm just going to have to put up with some less than stellar conversation, that's all there is to it. Something tells me I'll find a way through it (pin a medal on me).

I'd love to do away with "dating" altogether, that would make boning mind-numbingly average girls much more tolerable.

 

[Eternal_water]

anything real world is infinitely better

This statement is the ultimate truth and applies to every area of life, not just girls.

 

[Zarky]

I resolved I was only going to trouble myself with girls who were moderately attractive, exceptionally dirty, and exceptionally good company.

Guess how successful that strategy was? In hindsight, it was completely unrealistic and pointlessly idealistic.

Sadly true. This is why I tell the single moms that I sometimes date "Never feel bad about disappointing your children -- get them used to it now because life will do it to them over and over and over."

I'd love to do away with "dating" altogether, that would make boning mind-numbingly average girls much more tolerable.

I agree, it would be great if we could go up to a girl and say, "Hey, you're kind of average and I would never consider you for a relationship but I'd bone you a couple of times, so let's go," and she replies, "Ok!"

You have no idea how much I wish the world worked that way.

I guess (as a personal aside), me deciding never to have kids is sort of a big "f*ck you" to the universe. It's my way of saying, "Universe, you haven't given me what I want, so guess what, I ain't contributing to this whole reproduction thing that you so want me to engage in."

I'm serious.

So here's my offer to the universe: Universe, if you let me bone, with relative ease, 25 exceptionally attractive and loving women with completely waxed p*ssies by the time I'm 45, I will make at least one baby with at least one of those women after I've boned the last of the 25.

 

[rum]

I found a girlfriend through online dating...granted we broke up so it was a fail...but how is online dating different from any other avenue. Just a place for people to meet, just if it ever works out you'd have to invent an alternate story so as not to have the online dating stigma

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I found a girlfriend through online dating...granted we broke up so it was a fail...but how is online dating different from any other avenue. Just a place for people to meet, just if it ever works out you'd have to invent an alternate story so as not to have the online dating stigma

I beg to differ, as someone who has dated outside of online dating and been on 2 different sites for a few years. I used to think like you. I USED to think online was no different than meeting girls in daily encounters. How I was so naive and wrong....

The reality is that online dating USED to be a decent place to meet people 6-8 years ago. However, word got out like wildfire and now it has become a cesspool of ingrates. It has attracted the worst of each sex. Sleazy men come in DROVES sending pictures of their penises and topless pictures to just about ANY woman above a 4 on the looks scale.

Completely dysfunctional women with physical abnormalities and/or mental abnormalities come in FLOCKS. They come with just about any issues that you can think of making up in your head. I have seen midget women, a woman with an arm noticeably longer than the other and a woman with no arms (SERIOUSLY, she took self pictures with her foot), etc.

The male:female ratio is out of control and so is the rate of messaging. Any girl about a 6+ gets maybe 15 messages a day. A girl who is a 7 or 8 will get about 30 messages a day. By virtue of the ratio of men and women and the fact that women get far more messages than men, a power imbalance occurs. Men get devalued online. A guy who is a 7 becomes a 5 online because of his decreased value as seen by women online.

I have met around 5-7 girls online and I realized that they are online for a GOOD reason. I now stick to chasing girls offline for all of the above reasons. I respect myself too much to be devalued as I mentioned. I also have better things to do than to jump through hoops for average looking women online through ridiculous "tricks" on my profile and stupid "witty" first e-mails while the only work they have to do is to sit there on their computers being the 5's/6's that they are. BIG to online girls.

 

[Crissco]

It's so strange for me to read this because I'm having so much success. Before POF I was getting around 1 date a month, now it's usually 1 date per week with several prospects I just can't fit in.

I'm a decent looking guy and I know that goes in my favour, but I am definitely not in the top 4% best looking guys, not even top 20%, which tells me a lot of guys are just going about it all wrong.

Then again, listening to what all the women tell me, it does sound like majority of the guys on POF are clueless. They're either chumps, sleazebags or wannabe bad boys.

Couldnt agree more Jariel. Its the same with me. Ive had multiple dates and lays per week, even two in one day thats to online sites. To me, there a gold mine.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Couldnt agree more Jariel. Its the same with me. Ive had multiple dates and lays per week, even two in one day thats to online sites. To me, there a gold mine.

The number of dates and lays is not a measure of success. Getting the girl you really WANT is success, not getting the girl that you CAN get.

I just beg to different with anyone who disputes this fact. I had friends who had multiple lays online. I was not remotely attracted to any of them. I would rather go the entire year without a lay than bed a girl I don't even want just because I can.

I have not seen ANYONE in my life who snagged a girl above a HB6 online. And from personal experience, unless you're rich or a model as a man yourself, you won't get a HB7+ online. I can however get HB7's offline. Online it is impossible, they get close to 500 messages a month and they will disqualify you for the most minor and moronic issue like being 1 inch too short, or not having a perfect nose or washboard abs.

 

[spinaroonie]

From a related thread:


Guys just getting into online dating missed the boat. The golden years were pre-2010.

I used to line pof dates up in my sleep. Now, the same perfected profile and techniques yield very little results and it just isn't worth the time commitment or aggravation anymore.

So what's happened since 2010?!? Any theories?

I have an average looking buddy in his mid 30s who had up 40+ partners using online game in the late 90s/early 2000s. He'd never pull those kind of stats today.

I'm guessing that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick "You've Got Mail" from 1998 would never happen now.

So what caused the demise of online dating (at least for men)? Would particularly be interested in the experiences of guys who've been online dating since the early days and how they're adapting.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

From a related thread:


Guys just getting into online dating missed the boat. The golden years were pre-2010.

I used to line pof dates up in my sleep. Now, the same perfected profile and techniques yield very little results and it just isn't worth the time commitment or aggravation anymore.

So what's happened since 2010?!? Any theories?

I have an average looking buddy in his mid 30s who had up 40+ partners using online game in the late 90s/early 2000s. He'd never pull those kind of stats today.

I'm guessing that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick "You've Got Mail" from 1998 would never happen now.

So what caused the demise of online dating (at least for men)? Would particularly be interested in the experiences of guys who've been online dating since the early days and how they're adapting.

I have joined in that same thread. The answer is simple. The stigma of online dating is LONG gone. Men SWARMED into the online dating scene because they no longer felt embarrassed about it. So did women. However, men came in much greater numbers. A power imbalance began to develop.

That is the BASIS for why online dating turned south. To continue the snowball.....since a disproportionately large amount of men joined online dating, they were all basically hitting on the same subset of reasonably attractive women in their geographical area. Suddenly egos EXPLODED. Women excitedly told their roommates in school how they had all these guys sending them nice messages online and telling them how "hot" they were.

"Oh yeah?" said her roommate. "Let me join in!". There was a spike in interest, but after being put on pedestals both in life and by men online, these women because to have delusions about their self-worth. Eventually they would increase their standards beyond what they were able to get both online and in reality. They became chronic profile jumpers. They would just wait till a guy messaged them, read the profile and think: "meh, I'm so hot I can do better".

Meanwhile the amount of men joining online dating was rising and rising. Soon, the horn dogs and sleazballs joined in the mix. They had no game and tried to get sex right away. This behavior scared away the decent girls who were actually looking for a boyfriend. The remainder of women left were mainly the untouchables. Ugly girls, women with emotional & mental disorders, etc.

And AGAIN, men's numbers increased. With the invention of the affordable digital cameras, topless pictures and penis shots were flooding women's inboxes. If there was a single decent girl left, you better believe this generation of men scared them away. Now the women that were left were even worse than before. They became hardcore attention seeking types looking for an ego boost. And they came with the same emotional/mental disorders as the previous generation to boot!

Social stigma was not only GONE by now, but it was actually "cool" to be online dating. Any girl with any issue in reality that stopped her from getting attention in the real world heard about this oasis of dating called online dating. This oasis where women even less attractive than her were getting untold amounts of attention from men. "How can this be!?" She would think. Then she would join as well.

One the men's side: still more penis pictures and topless photos in front of the mirror. Yeah that's right. Don't only show everyone how vain you are, but let them know you need to take your own pictures in front of mirrors because you don't have friends....and buddy, we know that's not your car.....stop posing in front of nice cars on the street and putting them in your profile.

In summary, online dating today is a prime example of a sellers market on steroids....and we know who the sellers are and who the buyers are.....

 

[spinaroonie]

^ Perfect summation of online dating trends from 1998-2012. I'm glad you called out the increasing preponderance of perverts in contributing to online dating's demise.

I'm too young to have experienced OLD in the late 90s/early 2000s but I recall all the warm, friendly girls I'd hit up on AOL chat as a teenager.


IMO that Dateline NBC "To Catch a Predator" series circa 2005 was the turning point. Sadly, I don't think those golden years of a more "innocent" era will ever come back.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

AOL chat was the bomb back in the day. I consider the late 90's to early 2000's to be the Golden Era of online dating. Back in those days only educated middle class people had Internet Access and the women were actually interested and willing to meet up. Overtime, the perverts scared all the quality women away and online dating became a sausagefest.

 

[Nik TPT]

A lot of surveys are just bull**** and LOL at nightcrawler!

 

[nismo-4]

I have joined in that same thread. The answer is simple. The stigma of online dating is LONG gone. Men SWARMED into the online dating scene because they no longer felt embarrassed about it. So did women. However, men came in much greater numbers. A power imbalance began to develop.

That is the BASIS for why online dating turned south. To continue the snowball.....since a disproportionately large amount of men joined online dating, they were all basically hitting on the same subset of reasonably attractive women in their geographical area. Suddenly egos EXPLODED. Women excitedly told their roommates in school how they had all these guys sending them nice messages online and telling them how "hot" they were.

"Oh yeah?" said her roommate. "Let me join in!". There was a spike in interest, but after being put on pedestals both in life and by men online, these women because to have delusions about their self-worth. Eventually they would increase their standards beyond what they were able to get both online and in reality. They became chronic profile jumpers. They would just wait till a guy messaged them, read the profile and think: "meh, I'm so hot I can do better".

Meanwhile the amount of men joining online dating was rising and rising. Soon, the horn dogs and sleazballs joined in the mix. They had no game and tried to get sex right away. This behavior scared away the decent girls who were actually looking for a boyfriend. The remainder of women left were mainly the untouchables. Ugly girls, women with emotional & mental disorders, etc.

And AGAIN, men's numbers increased. With the invention of the affordable digital cameras, topless pictures and penis shots were flooding women's inboxes. If there was a single decent girl left, you better believe this generation of men scared them away. Now the women that were left were even worse than before. They became hardcore attention seeking types looking for an ego boost. And they came with the same emotional/mental disorders as the previous generation to boot!

Social stigma was not only GONE by now, but it was actually "cool" to be online dating. Any girl with any issue in reality that stopped her from getting attention in the real world heard about this oasis of dating called online dating. This oasis where women even less attractive than her were getting untold amounts of attention from men. "How can this be!?" She would think. Then she would join as well.

One the men's side: still more penis pictures and topless photos in front of the mirror. Yeah that's right. Don't only show everyone how vain you are, but let them know you need to take your own pictures in front of mirrors because you don't have friends....and buddy, we know that's not your car.....stop posing in front of nice cars on the street and putting them in your profile.

In summary, online dating today is a prime example of a sellers market on steroids....and we know who the sellers are and who the buyers are.....

Oh, damn this is some truthful sh*t!

Often times, it's more men going after women aka sausagefests, and now that women have these huge egos because of the power that men gave them, they all think they're princesses!

Even with this whole cougar/milf craze that happened! Guys think that's the way to go, and thanks to the large number of guys who joined into that sh*t, look at all the power they have now!

Nowadays, a lot of guys will lie their asses off to get a girl. I do it too. My POF profile is at age 43. I need to make one for my fifties. Yep, I'd rather an older woman anytime.

I wish I would've lied about my age on POF when I joined in 2007. Damn.

 

[Jariel]

I have not seen ANYONE in my life who snagged a girl above a HB6 online. And from personal experience, unless you're rich or a model as a man yourself, you won't get a HB7+ online. I can however get HB7's offline. Online it is impossible, they get close to 500 messages a month and they will disqualify you for the most minor and moronic issue like being 1 inch too short, or not having a perfect nose or washboard abs.

Again, none of this applies to me. I would say 40% of the girls I've dated and banged online have been HB9s with 50% HB8s. I've been with fitness models, lingerie models, dancers, former page 3 girls who score real high in looks and pretty decent personalities too. Some have been aloof, while others have been very clingy.

Although women can be very quick to disqualify you, I'm also quick to disqualify women who don't match up, so the options work both ways.

As I said, I can only assume a lot of guys here are going about it all wrong.

 

[Wilko]

Quit spamming canned messages, it only adds to the "noise".

Discreetly create a second, and maybe a third profile on the same site. Get the mathematical advantage working for you.

Tailor your profiles; whatever schtick you go for, just make it extreme, and don't overlap any details between your profiles (obviously you'll have to take some measures to obscure your underhanded treachery). It's nuts but these kind of one-sided caricatures play better than anything authentic and well-rounded.

It's something I've only started doing recently and I've been stunned at the attention and adds my "cynical a$$hole" profile is getting me. The "funny, smart, positive guy" is definitely lagging behind.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Again, none of this applies to me. I would say 40% of the girls I've dated and banged online have been HB9s with 50% HB8s. I've been with fitness models, lingerie models, dancers, former page 3 girls who score real high in looks and pretty decent personalities too. Some have been aloof, while others have been very clingy.

Although women can be very quick to disqualify you, I'm also quick to disqualify women who don't match up, so the options work both ways.

As I said, I can only assume a lot of guys here are going about it all wrong.

It doesn't really work both ways bud. She's getting 100 messages a day. How many are you getting? I want to see your opinion of a HB9 lol. Do you have pictures? I have not even SEEN a HB9 online in a profile. I have seen plenty of HB9's offline though. Which cities are you searching in online?

 

[Jariel]

It doesn't really work both ways bud. She's getting 100 messages a day. How many are you getting? I want to see your opinion of a HB9 lol. Do you have pictures? I have not even SEEN a HB9 online in a profile. I have seen plenty of HB9's offline though. Which cities are you searching in online?

True, they get 100 to my 10-20 per day, but most of the women I've spoken to tend to do the same thing...they scan over the thumbnails and delete all the guys they're not attracted to without even looking at their profile or reading their mails, leaving just a handful of guys left.

Some women I dated have shown me their messages and most of those are just "hi", blatant copy & paste jobs or just absolutely retarded. Some guys write these girls poems, quote lyrics to a song or say something ridiculously corny, others write messages like "I'd love to smash your backdoors in" or something equally tasteless.

I seriously couldn't believe how socially stunted most of the guys on there are, but it basically means of the 100 messages per day, only a few are legitimate options. And almost every woman I've ever spoken to on there say they've been on dates to find the guys have lied about themselves (usually their height).

They key to success is to separate yourself from the crowd.

Maybe things are different in the UK. I tend to search the midlands area, though I get a lot of messages from all around the country.

As for HB9s, obviously everyone has different tastes, so my HB9 could be another guy's HB6 and vice versa, but here are a couple of girls I met on there who I'd consider HB9s...

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=37647619
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=38301647