Surprising Outcome of Assertiveness

EmotionalGeek

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I'm at the gym. It's time for last exercise which is squatting. I come to the squat rack becuase I like to use safety pins. There is only one rack with safety pins in my gym. I see one dude doing box jumps 3 meters from the rack and his bag is lying between box and the rack -- I call this guy Jordan. So I enter the rack and set it up. After 2 or 3 warm up sets guy looking like a renegade comes to me
Renegade: Hi, How many sets do you have to do
Me: I just started warm up so quite many (I do 5x5 + warm up)
Renegade: This rack was taken
Me: The rack was empty when I came here
Renegade: Our stuff was here (he probably meant the bag 2 meters from the rack)
Me: I haven't seen it
Jordan: (to the renegade) It's ok I can do outside the rack.
Everybody was relaxed during the talk. No emotions.

After few minutes of squatting I say that we can do inside the rack together but probably there will be a lot of switching the weights. They squat twice my weight so they refuse. At this point I'm thinking I made two enemies on that gym.

After I finished Renegade comes:
Renegade: Are you finished
Me: sure
Renegade: I'm squatting 150kg today and I feel safer inside the rack
Me: Yes, It can go wrong when weight smashes you
Renegade: It never happened

Conversation ends and I got to another corner to stretch. After 2 minutes I see Renegade coming to me. I look at him but I feel my eye contact is poor, hist is better. He extends his hand and asks "Is it yours?". He holds my watch that I left in the rack. I say "Yes, thanks". First surprise I thought they were angry and if I were I would never tell the guy he left his watch.

Few days later I want to squat again. I come to the rack and Jordan is dead lifting on the platform that rack is located on. Platform comprises of rack and place to dead lift. I see rack is empty with no bar. I enter the rack and set it up. So at this point everybody know I'm gonna squat. Jordan is not objecting. After few sets I here the voice behind me:
Jordan: I see your squatting nicely. You wanna tip?
Me: Yeah, sure
Jordan: he show me how to create shelf on my shoulders and tells me that when he started to squat heavier it made a difference.
Me: Thanks, my current weight is petty but later it might be useful
Here little convo ensues. After few minutes we go our ways.

So this is another surprise. I'm not sure whether he remembered be but if he does he was not even angry with be but gave me a tip.

So they cool attitude toward the situation really surprised me. Now I'm thinking they are really cool guys.

It might not be relevant to picking-up directly but I think this is important life lesson. If you have similar stories you can share them in this thread. It might be valuable lesson.
 

marmel75

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Lol...150KG...dude needs to step up his game
 

PeasantPlayer

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Assertiveness can work wonders, it can backfire at times, but usually not

I just subscribed to this channel a few day ago, I like it simple and to the point
 

Red Legg

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Assertiveness can work wonders, it can backfire at times, but usually not

I just subscribed to this channel a few day ago, I like it simple and to the point
Good video for the "nice guy" too see.I have told people many times who cut in front of me in lines over the years...HEY YOU !! YEAH YOU WITH THE HAT..MOVE YOUR AZZ TO THE BACK OF THE LINE .(And they do) :)
 

Macaframalama

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I'm at the gym. It's time for last exercise which is squatting. I come to the squat rack becuase I like to use safety pins. There is only one rack with safety pins in my gym. I see one dude doing box jumps 3 meters from the rack and his bag is lying between box and the rack -- I call this guy Jordan. So I enter the rack and set it up. After 2 or 3 warm up sets guy looking like a renegade comes to me
Renegade: Hi, How many sets do you have to do
Me: I just started warm up so quite many (I do 5x5 + warm up)
Renegade: This rack was taken
Me: The rack was empty when I came here
Renegade: Our stuff was here (he probably meant the bag 2 meters from the rack)
Me: I haven't seen it
Jordan: (to the renegade) It's ok I can do outside the rack.
Everybody was relaxed during the talk. No emotions.

After few minutes of squatting I say that we can do inside the rack together but probably there will be a lot of switching the weights. They squat twice my weight so they refuse. At this point I'm thinking I made two enemies on that gym.

After I finished Renegade comes:
Renegade: Are you finished
Me: sure
Renegade: I'm squatting 150kg today and I feel safer inside the rack
Me: Yes, It can go wrong when weight smashes you
Renegade: It never happened

Conversation ends and I got to another corner to stretch. After 2 minutes I see Renegade coming to me. I look at him but I feel my eye contact is poor, hist is better. He extends his hand and asks "Is it yours?". He holds my watch that I left in the rack. I say "Yes, thanks". First surprise I thought they were angry and if I were I would never tell the guy he left his watch.

Few days later I want to squat again. I come to the rack and Jordan is dead lifting on the platform that rack is located on. Platform comprises of rack and place to dead lift. I see rack is empty with no bar. I enter the rack and set it up. So at this point everybody know I'm gonna squat. Jordan is not objecting. After few sets I here the voice behind me:
Jordan: I see your squatting nicely. You wanna tip?
Me: Yeah, sure
Jordan: he show me how to create shelf on my shoulders and tells me that when he started to squat heavier it made a difference.
Me: Thanks, my current weight is petty but later it might be useful
Here little convo ensues. After few minutes we go our ways.

So this is another surprise. I'm not sure whether he remembered be but if he does he was not even angry with be but gave me a tip.

So they cool attitude toward the situation really surprised me. Now I'm thinking they are really cool guys.

It might not be relevant to picking-up directly but I think this is important life lesson. If you have similar stories you can share them in this thread. It might be valuable lesson.
Jump on the opportunity to work in with them next time. Lifting with guys stronger, than yourself will go a long way towards you getting stronger. Not to mention, he gave you a little insight on his character by returning your watch. You might make some good friends in the process.
 

AriMamba

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I had trouble understanding this post. I don’t go to the gym.
 

playa99

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What Mac says is true!

Assertiveness can work wonders when deployed correctly.

How we interpret a situation may go down is not necessarily true.

Through our life experiences we can develop negative beliefs about certain situations which in truth are unfounded.
 

EmotionalGeek

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Jump on the opportunity to work in with them next time. Lifting with guys stronger, than yourself will go a long way towards you getting stronger. Not to mention, he gave you a little insight on his character by returning your watch. You might make some good friends in the process.
Good point. Lately I moved to new city and I still have few friends. I feel like finding male friends is harder then setting up dates with new girls.
 
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