Surprise call

[wussy8]

Hi folks, just a quick bit of advice needed.

I used to work with this girl who I was interested in and who I thought displayed some interest in me, despite her having a boyfriend. We both quit the job at the same time about a month ago, and I haven't seen or spoken to her since. Now I'm regretting not asking her out or something before we quit.

However, I met some of my ex-workmates the other day and they passed on her phone number to me.

Now, should I call her up a month after seeing her last, or would I come off seeming like a desperate stalker? Remember she doesn't know I have the number, so this call might be quite a surprise for her! And if I should call, what would it be tactful to say, being as she has a boyfriend?

Thanks in advance,

wussy

 

[TesuqueRed]

Too late.

It'll be a surprise, and it'll creep her out. You can only call if SHE gave you the number. (and no more talking about this to friends...)

I smell one-itis in the air.

 

[drixsa]

change your user name dammit

thats your biggest problem right now

 

[El Campeon 56]

Yes unfortunately it looks like this one has passed you by. If you were serious into her at the time a month ago you should have gotten her number. This just appears as if you were doing detective work to find out more about her. Odds are she and her boyfriend are still together which is just another problem with this situation. So let it go, write it off as a loss, and go find yourself a hotter chick right now. Haha and yes definitely change your user name man, no Don Juan would ever refer to himself as a wuss.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Instead of worrying about getting her number from other co-workers/friends, why don't you find out where she works, or where you can "run into her" and act like an act of co-incidence, chicks love that kind of encounters, but only if they have some kind of interest. Go do it, or else you're gonna be regretting for the rest of the summer. Go for the kill, or else you'll never know for sure, and that will sure kill you. If she doesn't give you her number, then you move on, with a sigh of relief, knowin' you went down swingin'.

 

[wussy8]

Thanks for the response. Unfortunately, I don't know where she's working now, so I can't accidentally on purpose show up there. The phone is the only way I have of contacting her.

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
Too late.

It'll be a surprise, and it'll creep her out. You can only call if SHE gave you the number. (and no more talking about this to friends...)

I smell one-itis in the air.

"One-itis"? Is that when you think there's only one person you have a chance with? Yes, that sounds like a fair assessment of my situation.

Anyway, despite your advice, I think I'll call her up anyway and just hope for the best. I mean, it might be a long shot, but it's still worth a try, right? I'm never likely to see her again, so it doesn't matter that much if she thinks I'm a freaky stalker.

 

[MDgood]

What do you have to lose???

Dude, you have NOTHING TO LOSE!!! Call her!!!

If she says yes, she'd love to meet up, you're in!

If she says no, screw you, what are the chances you'll ever see her again???

Some girls love it when a guy calls them out of the blue, and they'll go out with him just because they're feeling flattered about it... and that's the perfect time to use DJ skills on her!

If she's not one of them, who cares? Next her!!!!

 

[Bonhomme]

Yes, change your name!

It will seem really weird if you call her under these circumstances unless you can absolutely confirm they gave you her number upon her reqest. No wishful thinking here; absolute confirmation. And even then, expect a practical joke.

All in all, it's best to simply get her # when you meet her again, and in the meantime focus on others.

And definitely change your name. Why your current username, WHY?!?!

 

[Dee-Zy]

you already fuck'd up - so why not go the whole nine? U know that you're chances are slim since u did not get the number from her AND you got her number without her knowing.

Just call her, keep'N in your head that you ARE a desperate stalker. What can I say? Either u have some self-control N forget about it or u pursue what u want N call her. It's really your call here (no pun intended). What kind of person do u want to be/become?

It all comes down to that - nobody else can help u.

 

[Mazman]

Go ahead and call and see what happens. Like the others have said, "You have nothing to lose."

Your ex-workmates have her number, so obviously they still talk to her. I'm sure they'll mention to her that they gave her your number.

Call and ask her out for a date. It'll put her at ease at your intentions instead of her wondering if your some freaky stalker since you asked for her number from a third party and never called her.

 

[princelydeeds]

why do they have her number? is she still cool with some of them, or keep in phone contact with them? If so get get whoever she keeps in contact with to call her, and act like you happened to be around and just want to say whats up to her. Take it from there. If that doesn't work screw it and call. Just keep it light and brief tell her you were thinking about her and just wanted to see where she was at and if things worked out for her. Think up some reason to be concerned and go from there.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Wus...

I was going to reply to your reply to me---I can understand the logic of your reasoning here ("nothing to lose...") Deezy said it better than I could--his response is the one you need to follow here. The other responses are supportive and well-intended, but they miss a few key points.

You do actually have a lot to lose. The time to say "what do I have to lose?" WAS 3 MONTHS AGO. You already lost ground, and you can lose more (remember that great advice about debt, which applies to many more situations: "when you find yourself in a whole, stop digging."--?)

Deezy is inviting you to consider carefully and make a choice. In doing so, you either think and weigh consequences clearly or you don't.

Long shot for lost girl isn't actually the point here--continually misreading what is at stake and making the wrong decision that continues to dig a "loser's" groove into your psyche--is.

It's deeper than "what've I got to lose???"--which presumes the answer is "nothing", because you do have something to lose.

At some point, you ACTUALLY DO have to do the right action and refrain from doing the wrong action.

Start now.