Sun Tzu Instructs us on How to Set Boundaries With Women

[Atom Smasher]

Sun Tzu Wu was a native of the Ch`i State. His ART OF WAR brought him to the notice of Ho Lu, [2] King of Wu. Ho Lu said to him: "I have carefully perused your 13 chapters. May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight test?"

Sun Tzu replied: "You may."

Ho Lu asked: "May the test be applied to women?"

The answer was again in the affirmative, so arrangements were made to bring 180 ladies out of the Palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, and placed one of the King's favorite concubines at the head of each. He then bade them all take spears in their hands, and addressed them thus: "I presume you know the difference between front and back, right hand and left hand?"

The girls replied: Yes.

Sun Tzu went on: "When I say "Eyes front," you must look straight ahead. When I say "Left turn," you must face towards your left hand. When I say "Right turn," you must face towards your right hand. When I say "About turn," you must face right round towards your back."

Again the girls assented. The words of command having been thus explained, he set up the halberds and battle-axes in order to begin the drill. Then, to the sound of drums, he gave the order "Right turn." But the girls only burst out laughing. Sun Tzu said: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame."

So he started drilling them again, and this time gave the order "Left turn," whereupon the girls once more burst into fits of laughter. Sun Tzu: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders ARE clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers."

So saying, he ordered the leaders of the two companies to be beheaded. Now the king of Wu was watching the scene from the top of a raised pavilion; and when he saw that his favorite concubines were about to be executed, he was greatly alarmed and hurriedly sent down the following message: "We are now quite satisfied as to our general's ability to handle troops. If We are bereft of these two concubines, our meat and drink will lose their savor. It is our wish that they shall not be beheaded."

Sun Tzu replied: "Having once received His Majesty's commission to be the general of his forces, there are certain commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am unable to accept."

Accordingly, he had the two leaders beheaded, and straightway installed the pair next in order as leaders in their place. When this had been done, the drum was sounded for the drill once more; and the girls went through all the evolutions, turning to the right or to the left, marching ahead or wheeling back, kneeling or standing, with perfect accuracy and precision, not venturing to utter a sound. Then Sun Tzu sent a messenger to the King saying: "Your soldiers, Sire, are now properly drilled and disciplined, and ready for your majesty's inspection. They can be put to any use that their sovereign may desire; bid them go through fire and water, and they will not disobey."

But the King replied: "Let our general cease drilling and return to camp. As for us, We have no wish to come down and inspect the troops."

Thereupon Sun Tzu said: "The King is only fond of words, and cannot translate them into deeds."

After that, Ho Lu saw that Sun Tzu was one who knew how to handle an army, and finally appointed him general. In the west, he defeated the Ch`u State and forced his way into Ying, the capital; to the north he put fear into the States of Ch`i and Chin, and spread his fame abroad amongst the feudal princes. And Sun Tzu shared in the might of the King.
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Let he who has an ear, hear.

Atom

 

[Who Dares Win]

Thats what a good backhand was for...then it became "unfair", we can all agree about setting boundaries but I wonder how Sun Tzu would have done if instead of cutting heads he was allowed only to "inform".

Also the majesty was a man interested in result and appreciating valour.

Let me know if I got something wrong out of the message.

 

[Eternal_water]

So if they don't do what I want I should behead them?

 

[guru1000]

... but I wonder how Sun Tzu would have done if instead of cutting heads he was allowed only to "inform".

Sun Tzu demands strict obedience to his orders and receives it by instilling the fear of death to his recruits should they be doltish enough to disobey. Similarly, a DJ instills the fear of walking away to each contender of the harem. Should any contender disobey even a small boundary, a DJ must withdraw all his attention tenaciously--if need be, walk away--as to demonstrate authenticity to his integrity (his rules).

Notice, the women in Sun Tsu's story did not obey the orders initially. This demonstrates the significance of establishing the orator's authenticity as a leader before delineating boundaries, as boundaries will not work if commanded by feeble, irresolute, acquiescent men.

 

[Atom Smasher]

guru1000 has an ear.

 

[SeymourCake]

This reminds me of one reading I did (it could have been Pook) who stated women are basically like children and should be treated like children. Their display of child-like behavior is shown here.

 

[TheException]

Sun Tzu Wu was a native of the Ch`i State. His ART OF WAR brought him to the notice of Ho Lu, [2] King of Wu. Ho Lu said to him: "I have carefully perused your 13 chapters. May I submit your theory of managing soldiers to a slight test?"

Sun Tzu replied: "You may."

Ho Lu asked: "May the test be applied to women?"

The answer was again in the affirmative, so arrangements were made to bring 180 ladies out of the Palace. Sun Tzu divided them into two companies, and placed one of the King's favorite concubines at the head of each. He then bade them all take spears in their hands, and addressed them thus: "I presume you know the difference between front and back, right hand and left hand?"

The girls replied: Yes.

Sun Tzu went on: "When I say "Eyes front," you must look straight ahead. When I say "Left turn," you must face towards your left hand. When I say "Right turn," you must face towards your right hand. When I say "About turn," you must face right round towards your back."

Again the girls assented. The words of command having been thus explained, he set up the halberds and battle-axes in order to begin the drill. Then, to the sound of drums, he gave the order "Right turn." But the girls only burst out laughing. Sun Tzu said: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, then the general is to blame."

So he started drilling them again, and this time gave the order "Left turn," whereupon the girls once more burst into fits of laughter. Sun Tzu: "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. But if his orders ARE clear, and the soldiers nevertheless disobey, then it is the fault of their officers."

So saying, he ordered the leaders of the two companies to be beheaded. Now the king of Wu was watching the scene from the top of a raised pavilion; and when he saw that his favorite concubines were about to be executed, he was greatly alarmed and hurriedly sent down the following message: "We are now quite satisfied as to our general's ability to handle troops. If We are bereft of these two concubines, our meat and drink will lose their savor. It is our wish that they shall not be beheaded."

Sun Tzu replied: "Having once received His Majesty's commission to be the general of his forces, there are certain commands of His Majesty which, acting in that capacity, I am unable to accept."

Accordingly, he had the two leaders beheaded, and straightway installed the pair next in order as leaders in their place. When this had been done, the drum was sounded for the drill once more; and the girls went through all the evolutions, turning to the right or to the left, marching ahead or wheeling back, kneeling or standing, with perfect accuracy and precision, not venturing to utter a sound. Then Sun Tzu sent a messenger to the King saying: "Your soldiers, Sire, are now properly drilled and disciplined, and ready for your majesty's inspection. They can be put to any use that their sovereign may desire; bid them go through fire and water, and they will not disobey."

But the King replied: "Let our general cease drilling and return to camp. As for us, We have no wish to come down and inspect the troops."

Thereupon Sun Tzu said: "The King is only fond of words, and cannot translate them into deeds."

After that, Ho Lu saw that Sun Tzu was one who knew how to handle an army, and finally appointed him general. In the west, he defeated the Ch`u State and forced his way into Ying, the capital; to the north he put fear into the States of Ch`i and Chin, and spread his fame abroad amongst the feudal princes. And Sun Tzu shared in the might of the King.
____________________________________________________________

Let he who has an ear, hear.

Atom

Cute.....yet not equipollent.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Op, the inherent problem in your analogy is that there is no room for $hit testing. None. How does your woman know you will leave her? Did she see you leave another woman (chop her head off)?

She will need room to test your worth. And when she does, under your analogy, you will have no other option other than chopping the head off. You will have to be done with her. Otherwise, if you take her back after she violates one of your rules, then you will be seen as weak....like the 'King'.

 

[guru1000]

Peaks, remember your story of the plate who disrespected your time. How did you respond? You did a takeaway. She was testing you; testing the fortitude of your smaller boundary: respect of time. No need to walk away permanently for small-boundary infractions; just a simple withdrawal of your attention. Your response via takeaway adequately performed the job. You weren’t weak for taking her back, as lateness is not an offense which deserves permanent dismissal.

Women will always sh*t test your smaller boundaries. At the first bite of your boundary, you must address it. Withdraw your attention immediately. How does an ant eat an elephant? Bite by bite. Never allow a contender to take a boundary bite, irrespective of the infraction's breadth.

As contenders observe, learn, and understand that you are the “real deal,” they will test your small boundaries less often, also decreasing the likelihood of their violating a big boundary that warrants permanent dismissal.