Suicide

[Dust 2 Dust]

Hello my SoSuave brothers,

Over the past year I’ve been contemplating ending my life. A year ago I suffered an injury that has left me with chronic pain, mostly homebound, and sexual dysfunction. I can barely work part-time and I’m on the cusp of losing everything I worked so hard to build during my life.

There is no such thing as a spontaneous suicide like you hear in the media. Those who take their lives often spend months and even years agonizing over the decision. It is often a domino effect as the world around them collapses on top of them. I have tried nearly everything I can think of going to multitudes of doctors, psychiatrists, physical therapy, and psychological therapists. I even spent 2 weeks locked up in a psychiatric facility. I am almost out of cards to play and feel to be doomed to this existence or death. I can’t believe this is what my life has come to. We all were once children with hopes and dreams and so many times I've wished I could return to that gentle naive state.

I am not seeking attention or pity from anyone. It is not necessary to even respond. I just wanted to get my story out there. Hopefully, one day I can find healing and happiness or hopefully a part of me lives on in you and can have the happiness and healing that wasn't meant for me. If any of you would say a prayer or save a thought for me I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[Kotaix]

Here is something that might help. Ram Dass worked with many people in horrible pain and had success helping them. He had a stroke later in life and saw it as an act of grace instead of a horrible affliction even though it left him quite impaired.

 

[Learning Curve]

Hello my SoSuave brothers,

Over the past year I’ve been contemplating ending my life. A year ago I suffered an injury that has left me with chronic pain, mostly homebound, and sexual dysfunction. I can barely work part-time and I’m on the cusp of losing everything I worked so hard to build during my life.

There is no such thing as a spontaneous suicide like you hear in the media. Those who take their lives often spend months and even years agonizing over the decision. It is often a domino effect as the world around them collapses on top of them. I have tried nearly everything I can think of going to multitudes of doctors, psychiatrists, physical therapy, and psychological therapists. I even spent 2 weeks locked up in a psychiatric facility. I am almost out of cards to play and feel to be doomed to this existence or death. I can’t believe this is what my life has come to. We all were once children with hopes and dreams and so many times I've wished I could return to that gentle naive state.

I am not seeking attention or pity from anyone. It is not necessary to even respond. I just wanted to get my story out there. Hopefully, one day I can find healing and happiness or hopefully a part of me lives on in you and can have the happiness and healing that wasn't meant for me. If any of you would say a prayer or save a thought for me I would greatly appreciate it.

I'm going to say this to you.

Life is precious, you should appreciate the gift of having it. It's not easy it will never be.

It's a challenge. It's a constant fight to survive. If you manage to go through that and open the gates of potential for your self you will re-ignite that spark that is missing now.

I hope you decide to change and improve your life that anyone would dream to have.

Stay strong.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Agarra tu telefono y llama uno de estos números, AHORA MISMO:

Línea De La Vida 800 911 2000
SAPTEL 555-259-8121

No cuesta nada, y la gente en la linea están allí para ayudarte. Hazlo.

Trabajo con gente que tienen condiciones medicas crónicas todos los dias. La vida es preciosa, pero entiendo que hay tiempos que uno no se siente asi. Por favor, llama. Si quieres envíame un DM aqui y podemos hablar por teléfono si prefieres.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I'll tell you this:

99% Of Your HAPPINESS / How you feel is based on what you choose to FOCUS ON and what you give your ATTENTION to.

If you're thinking about all the stuff you think you can't do or the stuff that is out of your reach or comparing yourself to others, you will ultimately be sad and depressed. Most people don't realize there's an infinite amount of things in this life that we can give our energy and attention to and a lot of them that would bring more happiness than all the trivial **** we chase.

 

[MatureDJ]

Try cannabis therapy for your pain.

 

[TheEveningChronograph]

Try cannabis therapy for your pain.

Most days I'm not using cannabis therapeutically, instead I'll use a combination of NAC and Vitamin A. It works wonders. Some days I accidentally used cannabis too soon after supplementing with NAC and instead it just gives you a 'body high'. Also get your Vitamin D levels up and keep them there. Set your goals short-term, middle and long-term and keep thriving. I always felt f ucking amazing after every time I did box step-ups whilst holding a pair of dumbbells for 10-30 minutes.

Yo tengo raices del Ciudad de Mexico tambien. Just "buried" mi abuelo en Mexico the other day by pouring out a Tecate for him on Mexican soil. I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. Didn't give a shyt about the CJNG, the Sinaloans or the corrupt ass police buzzing around me. Keep going. Fvck these gringo ass haters...and keep your head up. And know when to keep it down.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Don't do it, read my story first. Almost two years ago I was diagnose with low T, had two herniated discs with chronic pain even had lumbar injections for the pain and nothing helped; I was fat and depressed.

Went into TRT (testosterone) and that fixed my depression due to hormonal unbalance, hit the gym even harder, since test helps you creating muscles fast, my core muscles got so strong that I haven't had any pain in my discs again. Life has been great ever since. I'm not saying this is your cure, but it could be, have you taken bloodwork to check your test levels?

Also for ED, that's not problem, many people take cialis, I take it for high blood pressure purposes and that $hit helps with the blood flow everywhere.

I will be receiving trigger point steroid injections next week to see if it helps with my pain. More than anything I just want to go back to work and have my old life back. Yes, I had blood work done and I just emailed the doctor about it. Thank you for your suggestion.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Try cannabis therapy for your pain.

I have access to marijuana, but it doesn't really help that much other than getting me stoned and not giving a F. I also had opioids, but they constipated me and I could sh1t while on them.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Don't do it, read my story first. Almost two years ago I was diagnose with low T, had two herniated discs with chronic pain even had lumbar injections for the pain and nothing helped; I was fat and depressed.

Went into TRT (testosterone) and that fixed my depression due to hormonal unbalance, hit the gym even harder, since test helps you creating muscles fast, my core muscles got so strong that I haven't had any pain in my discs again. Life has been great ever since. I'm not saying this is your cure, but it could be, have you taken bloodwork to check your test levels?

Also for ED, that's not problem, many people take cialis, I take it for high blood pressure purposes and that $hit helps with the blood flow everywhere.

Your story is inspiring.

I'm going to say this to you.

Life is precious, you should appreciate the gift of having it. It's not easy it will never be.

It's a challenge. It's a constant fight to survive. If you manage to go through that and open the gates oI f potential for your self you will re-ignite that spark that is missing now.

I hope you decide to change and improve your life that anyone would dream to have.

Stay strong.

I agree, life is precious to me that's why I haven't already given up. When I first got injured I spent 3 weeks bed-ridden and I don't want to throw away all the hard work I've put in up to this point.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

Your story strikes a main nerve with me. I too suffer from chronic pain and I am at a point where I might have to consider major spinal surgery *in hopes* that I may stop my pain.

I came to this forum earlier this year (after a 2 month long episode of pain last year, spine injection, and recovery), to improve my life with women and make the best of what time I have left. I haven't been active recently as it is painful to type on the computer. (hurts bad right now) But your situation rings with me as I sometimes contemplate my mortality, not suicide, but my body deteriorating as I am one of the oldest members here.

All I can say is HOPE is your strongest ally right now. Your condition came upon you out of nowhere thru the injury and your rehabilitation can come the same way. The hope that thru physicians, therapy, and you own body healing may turn around.

The injection got me almost a year of pain free life, the ability to play music, go fishing, and pursue the pleasures of women. I'm in a bad place now as my recent injection did not work and I may have to take the risk of spinal surgery. Something I fear like a little child.

All I can do is hope for the best, that my pain resolves even if I have to go thru with it. I have too many things I want to do in life before I go, my music project, travel, romance.

To contemplate ending life by my own doing is something I could never do, and I HOPE that you find a way to realize that taking your life will cheat you out of the possibilities that could resolve your pain thru your doctors, acupuncture, therapy, or your own body healing.

Best wishes, I will say a prayer for you mi hermano.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Ultimately it is your decision and no one should be convincing you of anything. You need to believe. And what you need to believe is that there is something about you beyond flesh and bones that humanity is starving for. You will effectively be depriving humanity of it.

Suicide is a selfish act. It is also a cowardly act. These are strong statements but I know that because I have been there twice. And on the verge of it so I understand how those thoughts and feelings creep in. But no one will ever understand your specific situation which is why no one can convince you of anything.

Lean into religion, spirituality, a divine source, or however, you want to view it and experience it. But it helped me to take the blinds off my face and see beyond my own "suffering".

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You might also try GABA OTC.

I will be receiving trigger point steroid injections next week to see if it helps with my pain. More than anything I just want to go back to work and have my old life back. Yes, I had blood work done and I just emailed the doctor about it. Thank you for your suggestion.

 

[corrector]

I can barely work part-time and I’m on the cusp of losing everything I worked so hard to build during my life.

I hear you. When you are faced with the prospect of losing everything then its tempting to feel that way. I too have felt that way many different times in my life. When I was in my 20s, and I lost money in the stock market, and felt I was just drifting, yeah, I felt that way. Even now when I'm not sure where my I'm going (ie my mom / folks are getting older, no well-paying job, no gf/woman, etc...) and depressing thoughts can invade the mind.

There is no such thing as a spontaneous suicide like you hear in the media. Those who take their lives often spend months and even years agonizing over the decision. It is often a domino effect as the world around them collapses on top of them.

That's exactly how I feel sometimes. You are explaining yourself very well. My version of suicide is visiting a prostitute. If I ever wanted to kill myself, I would visit a hooker. I no longer believe in actually ending life as my definition of suicide. You should change your operational definition of that to visiting hookers rather than taking your own life as I have. You are in Mexico. They are very cheap there? So, I'm saying, if it really comes down to it, don't do it, but do that instead.

I have tried nearly everything I can think of going to multitudes of doctors, psychiatrists, physical therapy, and psychological therapists. I even spent 2 weeks locked up in a psychiatric facility. I am almost out of cards to play and feel to be doomed to this existence or death. I can’t believe this is what my life has come to. We all were once children with hopes and dreams and so many times I've wished I could return to that gentle naive state.

What about religious/pastors/priests as others have recommended?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Don't do it, read my story first. Almost two years ago I was diagnose with low T, had two herniated discs with chronic pain even had lumbar injections for the pain and nothing helped; I was fat and depressed.

Went into TRT (testosterone) and that fixed my depression due to hormonal unbalance, hit the gym even harder, since test helps you creating muscles fast, my core muscles got so strong that I haven't had any pain in my discs again. Life has been great ever since. I'm not saying this is your cure, but it could be, have you taken bloodwork to check your test levels?

Also for ED, that's not problem, many people take cialis, I take it for high blood pressure purposes and that $hit helps with the blood flow everywhere.

The Dr. Just offered me a test for low T. Said I could come in anytime. Was your therapy done through a Dr?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

You might also try GABA OTC.

I tried Gabapentin, but it did nothing. Thank you for the suggestion though. I have a prescription for Cymbalta which works for nerve pain and my depression.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I hear you. When you are faced with the prospect of losing everything then its tempting to feel that way. I too have felt that way many different times in my life. When I was in my 20s, and I lost money in the stock market, and felt I was just drifting, yeah, I felt that way. Even now when I'm not sure where my I'm going (ie my mom / folks are getting older, no well-paying job, no gf/woman, etc...) and depressing thoughts can invade the mind.



That's exactly how I feel sometimes. You are explaining yourself very well. My version of suicide is visiting a prostitute. If I ever wanted to kill myself, I would visit a hooker. I no longer believe in actually ending life as my definition of suicide. You should change your operational definition of that to visiting hookers rather than taking your own life as I have. You are in Mexico. They are very cheap there? So, I'm saying, if it really comes down to it, don't do it, but do that instead.



What about religious/pastors/priests as others have recommended?

I no longer live in Mexico, I'm back in the states but never updated my profile. I disappeared from this forum for a few years and just started posting again a few months ago.

I am skeptical when it comes to religion/ priests etc. I do have a small part of my brain that wants to believe though.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Your story strikes a main nerve with me. I too suffer from chronic pain and I am at a point where I might have to consider major spinal surgery *in hopes* that I may stop my pain.

I came to this forum earlier this year (after a 2 month long episode of pain last year, spine injection, and recovery), to improve my life with women and make the best of what time I have left. I haven't been active recently as it is painful to type on the computer. (hurts bad right now) But your situation rings with me as I sometimes contemplate my mortality, not suicide, but my body deteriorating as I am one of the oldest members here.

All I can say is HOPE is your strongest ally right now. Your condition came upon you out of nowhere thru the injury and your rehabilitation can come the same way. The hope that thru physicians, therapy, and you own body healing may turn around.

The injection got me almost a year of pain free life, the ability to play music, go fishing, and pursue the pleasures of women. I'm in a bad place now as my recent injection did not work and I may have to take the risk of spinal surgery. Something I fear like a little child.

All I can do is hope for the best, that my pain resolves even if I have to go thru with it. I have too many things I want to do in life before I go, my music project, travel, romance.

To contemplate ending life by my own doing is something I could never do, and I HOPE that you find a way to realize that taking your life will cheat you out of the possibilities that could resolve your pain thru your doctors, acupuncture, therapy, or your own body healing.

Best wishes, I will say a prayer for you mi hermano.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My back is fine. My injury is to my pelvis which is causing me all these problems. I totally hear you about hope. The thought of suicide actually terrifies me too, and I'm still moving forward as I have a few cards left to play. One of my doctors has recommended trying regenerative medicine where they inject stem cells into the area so we shall see. I ain't dead yet.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Don't do it, read my story first. Almost two years ago I was diagnose with low T, had two herniated discs with chronic pain even had lumbar injections for the pain and nothing helped; I was fat and depressed.

Went into TRT (testosterone) and that fixed my depression due to hormonal unbalance, hit the gym even harder, since test helps you creating muscles fast, my core muscles got so strong that I haven't had any pain in my discs again. Life has been great ever since. I'm not saying this is your cure, but it could be, have you taken bloodwork to check your test levels?

Also for ED, that's not problem, many people take cialis, I take it for high blood pressure purposes and that $hit helps with the blood flow everywhere.

Do you have a link to your story?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Ultimately it is your decision and no one should be convincing you of anything. You need to believe. And what you need to believe is that there is something about you beyond flesh and bones that humanity is starving for. You will effectively be depriving humanity of it.

Suicide is a selfish act. It is also a cowardly act. These are strong statements but I know that because I have been there twice. And on the verge of it so I understand how those thoughts and feelings creep in. But no one will ever understand your specific situation which is why no one can convince you of anything.

Lean into religion, spirituality, a divine source, or however, you want to view it and experience it. But it helped me to take the blinds off my face and see beyond my own "suffering".

A buddy of mine killed himself in 2013. I still go out to the cemetery whenever I visit my hometown. Sometimes it's not the pain, but the unrelenting torment of major depressive order that gets you.