Suffering from one-itis

[Asteconn]

Hello chaps;

As the thread title suggests; I'm having issues getting over someone.

To give you a little background, she's probably as close to a 'perfect girl for me' as I'll ever see; dated for a while, very successfully.

In June though, to cut a long story short, she said she was busy with exams etc. so couldn't meet up for a bit; which was fair enough - exams are pretty important. So busy infact that she met up with someone else.

So, after receiving the message she sent to me (I was out with mates at the time), I told her that roughly that I didn't want anything to do with her again. I can't remember my exact words, but it was pretty impersonal.

I've made no contact with her since. She's looked at a couple of my online profiles a few times since. But I still get very sad whenever something reminds me of her.I've seen other girls since, but they're still kind of stuck in her shadow so-to-say

So I'm here to get some bro-to-bro support, and hopefully to know if I made the right decision.

 

[Danton1975]

I just went through a severe case of it for the first time in my life Asteconn, and I know it's tough. This is what helped me:

1. Upped my daily workout on the bike to 70 minutes (long ass time but it helps tremendously). Use her as fuel...let her fire you up and think to yourself..."I will make myself so accomplished and will look so good in the mirror, that next time she sees me she will regret ever leaving me" The thing is, you will not go back, Ever, even if she wanted too, since she betrayed your trust. But for now, use her as fuel...Improve on everything, take action.

2. Hang out with friends and try not to care so much about girls in general for a certain period. Don't go back too fast to dating...just hang out with friends, shoot some pool, play golf...whatever you like.

3. Work hard...at your career or hobby...so hard in fact that you will accomplish something good that should in return make you feel better about yourself.

4. Do not look at old emails, pictures, ignite any memories of her. Clean out of your life everything that has to do with her.

5. In the beggining, if it helps, create a list of things that you did not like about her. I know in your mind right now she is perfect...but again there are billions of women out there and the chance you just stumbled on the "perfect" one is indeed very slim. It's your mind and constant thinking about her that makes her so.

6. You say you dated for a while? How long? It may take you from 1 month to 6 depending on how severe case it was to forget her completely, but you will, and you must recognize now that this too shall pass.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

What Danton said, plus:

1. Realize that suffering is a CHOICE. It is.

2. Throw yourself into reading self help books and watching videos by people like Earl Nightingale, Zig Ziglar, and Napoleon Hill. All self-help philosophies spawn from the belief that it is your THOUGHTS and nothing else that determine every condition and circumstance of your life.

 

[Asteconn]

We dated (pretty seriously) for a little over 3 months.

And please don't think I'm being too emo over this, and she wasn't 'perfect' perfect, but a had looks and a very amicable personality generally.

But thanks for the advice on the 'success is the best revenge' tack I'll certainly bear it in mind

 

[Max Power]

I still get very sad whenever something reminds me of her.

That is the healthy thing to do and is totally normal. I think you are handling this well, but you shouldn't live well as a form of revenge for this girl, you should just live well for yourself.