Suddenly unsure about relationship

[Sunsleeve]

Hey everyone I made this account a long time ago but I sort of forgot about it but I've been lurking again for the last month or so and I now have a question

I've been going out with a girl for just over a year and everything is great...she shows high interest and the sex is great...sometimes she can be aloof but that just seems to be the way she is.

She started college this week and is living on campus..I thought I would be fine but she's been out every night this week and I'm starting to worry she will cheat...I know you're going to tell me I'm beta and a *****but I'd just like to hear advice on how to deal with the situation.

She went to a party in her building last Night and tonight she was pretty drunk and went out to a club even though she told me she was just going to the campus bar.....she also was replying very oddly to my texts like she wasn't paying attention to them which I put down to her just being too busy and having a good time but I'm starting to freak out here knowing she's going to be drinking and partying all the time now that she's living up there.

So if any of you have had experiences like this or even those of you who haven't could you share some advice on how to deal with a situation like this?

Thank you

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Hey everyone I made this account a long time ago but I sort of forgot about it but I've been lurking again for the last month or so and I now have a question

I've been going out with a girl for just over a year and everything is great...she shows high interest and the sex is great...sometimes she can be aloof but that just seems to be the way she is.

She started college this week and is living on campus..I thought I would be fine but she's been out every night this week and I'm starting to worry she will cheat...I know you're going to tell me I'm beta and a *****but I'd just like to hear advice on how to deal with the situation.

She went to a party in her building last Night and tonight she was pretty drunk and went out to a club even though she told me she was just going to the campus bar.....she also was replying very oddly to my texts like she wasn't paying attention to them which I put down to her just being too busy and having a good time but I'm starting to freak out here knowing she's going to be drinking and partying all the time now that she's living up there.

So if any of you have had experiences like this or even those of you who haven't could you share some advice on how to deal with a situation like this?

Thank you

You will get dumped in the next couple of weeks, if not sooner. Then there's no coming back from this. The only way to do this is the dump her first - tell her "I have to move on, it's complicated. good luck with everything" and then don't reply to her.

She may panic and up the ante, and if not you will have at least maintained enough hand to **** her when you see her down the line, but you better get used to sharing her. The attention whoring is just beginning.

 

[NSX-R]

You will get dumped in the next couple of weeks, if not sooner. Then there's no coming back from this. The only way to do this is the dump her first - tell her "I have to move on, it's complicated. good luck with everything" and then don't reply to her.

She may panic and up the ante, and if not you will have at least maintained enough hand to **** her when you see her down the line, but you better get used to sharing her. The attention whoring is just beginning.

Exactly this. Dump her and say these words,no need for further explanations. If she asks for the reason you don't need to tell her cause she will start the back fire and you're gonna seem like a beta.

 

[Tictac]

Big change for her. Be the grownup and let her go. Don't be a pissant about it. Just let go.

Meanwhile, you find other women to go out with and go on about your life having a blast.

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

#1) Why are you texting? Girlfriends text. Schedule a date and get off the phone.

#2) You can't force a woman to want to be with you. If she disrespects your or is aloof, stop initiating contact immediately. If you've been together for a year but she goes a week without contacting you, or when she does contact you and you try to make a date and she makes a bunch of excuses about being busy, just let her know you're not feeling it and that you should see other people.

Make sure you state it calm and confidently. Don't be all "hey, you've been acting really distant lately. What's up? how are you feeling". She knows she's blowing you off and that will just make you look weak. Just say something short and simply "Hey, I'm not really feeling it, I think we should see other people". If she protests, tell her you'd rather hang out with your friends this week but that she can call you next week and you'll schedule something. She will probably get angry about it, but that's mostly just because she's mad you rejected her first. Stand your ground, and if she does still have feeling for you a week away from you will increase her attraction, not decrease it.

Women want to feel like they want you just a little bit more than you want them, so you have to be willing to walk away if she's not treating you with respect. If you beg or plead or act weak you will lose her for sure.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Real talk: You, like many other guys who have girlfriends moving away to go to college, had unrealistic expectations.

Did you really, REALLY think she was going to want to spend every night in her dorm room thinking/talking about you? She's in COLLEGE - she's on a whole new journey in her life with new people around, and she's going to want to venture out of her room and explore things. This is why the idea of holding on to a relationship when you're not at the same college as your girlfriend is a HORRIBLE idea.

But hey - if you really want help about your situation, I just did a podcast a couple weeks ago answering this EXACT topic, which you can check out HERE.

 

[GS750]

Eject. No need to make a big show of it. You cannot expect a girl who has just entered college to be faithful. Not a chance in hell, especially if she is partying and drinking regularly. She is going to squeeze as much fun and partying into the next couple of years that she can. Don't expect rational behavior from any girl under 23 or 24, especially not a girl away at college. Not gonna happen.

 

[Yewki]

I'm starting to worry she will cheat... I'm starting to freak out here knowing she's going to be drinking and partying all the time now that she's living up there.

Why? Stop worrying so much about things you can't control. If she wants to disrespect you and mess around with other guys, that's her decision and she's not for you. If you're unsatisfied, you should use that energy to pursue other options... not just dwell on one.

 

[MAYALL]

Start meeting new women and get ready to end it with her. She just started college and is looking to have fun like most girls. If you stick around you'll have more of this until she dumps you.

#1) Why are you texting? Girlfriends text. Schedule a date and get off the phone.

He isn't setting a date with some random chick, this is his girlfriend dude. Relationships require communication.

 

[El Payaso]

What you should do is start meeting other women. You have massive oneitis and its clouding your vision.

 

[BrainDamage92]

It goes a little like this:

You were the girl's "best option".

She joins a new social sircle.

She tells them she has a boyfriend.

The new social circle proceeds to spit **** about her BF (you).

She meets some other fool from this new social circle.

Youre out of the eqasion.

Its so easy hell, dude, have you done a ONS with a girl who has a "serious" boyfriend but is somewhere far away? Its a goddamn cliche and the scheme is - you notice shes looking for something and dont mention the BF, hell she just comes to you, smile, flirt, touch, grab, defense one: "I dont want you to think that Im easy", "Why would I think such a thing, I dont look at girls this way, good things blah blah, chemistry blah blah its all about blah blah blah", defense 2: "I have a boyfriend", thats the easiest "He wont find out" in her ear with the low tomcat purring tembre and shes done for. The trick is to pretend to be a retarded pretty boy and keep your mouth shut. Then when the BF comes to pick her up from the hotel you can shake hands and have a beer. You need to be a good actor. And in a college campus... a smooth criminal is stuffing your girl as we speak, no offence.

All women is hoes. Remember. To the right guy in the right place in the right time.

Now I normally dont advice people to "break up", because Ive been there, but tell you what, do the dumping while you are in a position to do that, if you need motives, tell her what I told you, she may act whichever she likes, but the cold truth with hit her hard. This is exactly why I think that serious exclusive relationships, 1+ year and so on are pointless without offspring. She says she dont want kids, you say you dont want kids, in the end its all about the paper and how much of it you have. Esp if you lived together with a girl for a long time these conclusions come to you at one point.

This happens, she had good use of you, now she doesnt anymore, its life. Be the one to end it couse both parties win. That or shell keep you hanging on while fuking other people there. Its the "w*ore and the fagot" vs "the baddass and the victim" scenario. You choose. By initiating a LTR without actually having serious intentions (kids, family), you sign a deal with the devil. Time to drink from his poisonous well. 1 year is not that much tho, you will be ok.

Anyway all women cheat from time to time, point is she is no longer yours. Not in the slightest.

 

[pyros]

yeah, the chance of her cheating on you is gonna skyrocket...so you can either:
a) wait and see...
b) dump her if you dont like what you see...

See this, eventhough she is in college now, going out almost everyday and getting drunk while in a relationship only signals she is not relationship material. She could go out a couple of times a week and not get waisted each time if she wanted to, but it seems she prefers to party a lot and get drunk...I wonder why lol.

It is a difficult situation really.

No one can really assure you what she will do.
She could go out a lot etc but still think about you etc. She could go out and fvck several guys and hide it from you. She could go out, maybe kiss a guy once and regret it.

Anyway it seems it is not going to turn out good for you.
Where there's smoke, there's fire.


P.S.

Go out and try to pick up chicks, become a better version of yourself, etc
Do you know why...? cause while you're here posting about your gf, she is getting male attention anywhere she goes (if she's not a troll), and the only thing she has to do is decide which di-ck she wants to grab.

Since you're a guy...you are not in the same position of power, so this is why it is mandatory to become a DJ (or kind of), so your options (girls) will increase.
Do this or you're fvcked lol.

 

[Lozboss]

OP I think you know what to do.

Eject with a simple message that 'this isn't working' and pursue other women.

 

[Yewki]

She hasn't done anything specifically bad, keep using her for sex while pursuing other women IMO. How far you want to take it with other women while still seeing her is up to you.

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

He isn't setting a date with some random chick, this is his girlfriend dude. Relationships require communication.

You mean his girlfriend who he just stated was blowing off his texts? A woman being your girlfriend may allow you to get away with making a few more mistakes than when you first met her, but it doesn't change what a woman is attracted to. Text conversations and being too available is one of the quickest ways to kill a woman's attraction regardless of what label the two of you have. If she wants to talk to you and see you, meet up, otherwise go live your life and get off your phone.

 

[MAYALL]

You mean his girlfriend who he just stated was blowing off his texts? A woman being your girlfriend may allow you to get away with making a few more mistakes than when you first met her, but it doesn't change what a woman is attracted to. Text conversations and being too available is one of the quickest ways to kill a woman's attraction regardless of what label the two of you have. If she wants to talk to you and see you, meet up, otherwise go live your life and get off your phone.

When you're in a relationship you need to communicate. When you're busy you use the phone at your availability. Sending quick texts is easier than chatting on the phone. Her interest declined not because of his texts, it's for other reasons.

 

[marmel75]

She is going to fvck other guys, bro. Sorry to have to break it to you like that, but that's the reality of the situation. I know because when I was in college, the first few weeks of school I was banging chicks who had boyfriends back home regularly. I used to snicker when I'd see the boyfriend come visit and they'd be walking down the hall and I'd say Hello to his girl that I just railed 6 ways til Sunday a few nights ago.

Just how it is. Even if she doesn't admit it to you, its happening.

 

[skinnyguy]

This is good for you. Now you can find new vagina. Don't get too complacent my friend.