Suddenly not faring so well on getting a 2nd date...advice needed

[BackInTheGame78]

Still doing fairly well overall, have 3 or 4 plates, but I am trying to replace the bottom 2 with new women as one is not that great in the sack(dead fish) and the other is getting a little annoying personality wise...

Have been on 5 dates the past 3 weeks with new women. All of them seemingly went well. Had a good time, laughed, joked around, teased them, played darts/pool with a few of them(depending on if place had this), I laid back and played it cool, they would always end up positioning themselves towards me at some point and then I would proceed to escalate...ended up making out with all of them, a few of them quite heavily. Did not act needy or AFC, told them I'd talk to them sometime or they'd tell me to call or text them, but I never did until at least 2 or 3 days after. A few initiated texting with me first. Did not get into any long text conversations with them, couple back and forth texts, then asked them out again.

Funny thing is, I haven't been able to get any of them out on a second date. Either schedules haven't matched up or for whatever reason they decided not to go out with me again. I know they won't ever tell you the real reason as to why, but I'm almost half tempted to just straight up ask them WTF is up with making out with me and then never wanting to see me again? I don't really care about salvaging any of these women, but I just need to get this figured out for future dates. Something is happening between the time we leave the date and the time I contact them again, meaning they are thinking about what happened or imagining what I will be like in the future and deciding not to see me again. I'm muscular(college linebacker build), fairly good looking, and have my sh!t together(job, car, own a house), I can be edgy at times, I'm not afraid to speak my mind or say something that will offend them.

I'm at a complete loss right now as to what is going on. I have another date setup for Thursday with this really cute woman that is really into fitness and working out like I am and definitely want to make sure I bring my "A" game to the date and then have my "A" game post date to ensure another date(if we hit it off like I think we will of course).

I understand that most of you are going to say "They just weren't interested" but it has to be something more than that. I've never had this much of a headache getting a 2nd date before and its starting to irritate me a little to be honest. Any advice would be appreciated along with some DETAILED advice to ensure you get a 2nd date when the 1st date went well...

 

[Comatozed]

I'm in the same boat mate and it's annoying me too.

The dates go well there can be no denying that, but, as ****ed up as this sounds - in this day and age, where women's option are infinite - it 'going well' might be a bad thing. In the sense that she knows you like her and she moves onto someone that makes her hamster spin.

I've had girls back to mine, been making out light foreplay but they wouldn't ****. 'Fair enough, I'll **** them next time', I've thought. But then there isn't a next time. I tease, pass **** tests in a c/f manner, kino everything went fine. I'm at a loss.

The only thing I can think of is the kiss closing and me escalating in the bedroom only for them to shut me down gives them the validation they seek and so they don't need to go out with me again. They saw I wanted to **** them, that's enough. On to the next guy.

So in light of this, I plan to only kiss girls if a) it's leading to sex, or b) it's in a place where ****ing isn't an option.

Kissing girls on my bed only for them to not **** is doing nothing for my game, they get their little thrill. It's hard to be aloof in the bedroom. All my good work on the date of making them wonder if I want them or not is being undone as I start to behave like a kid in a sweet store in the bedroom.

I don't know if this will help. But I do know the date's where I didn't kiss close and genuinely left them wondering how it went (mainly cos I actually wasn't that interested and they love that ****), have lead to follow up dates.

Also, as trial and error is the only way to go, I'm trying a bit more comfort building approch via text. Texting after 2 days rather than 3 or 4, not going straight in for the date but not getting in long convos either. For example, girl I saw on friday, text her monday and tuesdya, both times just a little ten minute back and forth and I will text her tonight or tmr asking for a second date. If she says no after date went well and replying to messages then I really will be confused as ****.

I think you gotta build some momentum, people say she won't forget about you if it went well, but in the very early stages, she will. With social media and tinder you can fact be old news. Save the holding back until after she's interested. I don't consider a ten min text exchange each day to be AFC or needy anyway. Hardly an investment on my part.

 

[LMFAO]

Where are you meeting those women?

I had the same problem meeting them from online dating, would go on countless dates, it all goes well, kiss them and never hear back, or sometimes they would text "It was lovely meeting you but I don't want to take things any further good luck in x and y" through text a couple of days later when I try to arrange the next date.

They got their male attention and they move on. I think Tinder is one of the big problems where girls can get dates on there very easily. A girl I went out with a week ago mentioned Tinder during the date and said how good it is for her, she was no more than an HB5.5 and I never texted her after the date. If she can arrange getting fvcked on Tinder any of them can.

You have to remember many girls only go out for validation, and the kiss in part does that for them. Many of them have no clue what they want, and make the bad choice anyway. If they reject you they reject your game not you since they don't even know you, never take it seriously and laugh at it.

I've never been a fan of kissing before sex, and in this era of the want for instant gratification for girls I think you need to do more than that to stand out from the crowd. The two extremes are basically don't kiss her at all but perhaps tease her about it before goodbye, or try to escalate it to more towards sex.

I usually try to kiss her, whilst also touching up her ass, if you get to finger fvcking her and more even better. The one girl out of four girls within a week that I did have further dates with I went back to her place on the first date, didn't bang her but at least could escalate a little bit more and created comfort from being with her at her place.

Flakiness would also go down if you meet girls in social circles, in comparison to bars and online dating, otherwise you just have to spin more.

 

[Comatozed]

Yea I'm talking mainly tinder girls tbh.

Gonna ask out a social circle girl soon - bit busy this weekend so next week. If she says no it'll dent my ego but yolo. I can't see her saying no and if she agrees unlikely she flakes.

 

[apprenticedj]

It goes to show that kiss closes mean nothing these days. In fact I'm certain it may be a problem.

By going for the kiss close early in your interaction (first night) you're confirming that you're interested in them but now the next question: your intention? Coming on strong can put you in the man wh*re category, is he just trying to hit it and quit it?

I would say lean back and relax, go against the A.B.C. (always be closing) mentality that is prevelant now. Hold off on the kino and kissing on the FIRST date and you may come off as in control and not thirsty. IMO this will increase your chances of a second date bc she'll be wondering what you're thinking.

 

[sylvester the cat]

It goes to show that kiss closes mean nothing these days. In fact I'm certain it may be a problem.

By going for the kiss close early in your interaction (first night) you're confirming that you're interested in them but now the next question: your intention? Coming on strong can put you in the man wh*re category, is he just trying to hit it and quit it?

I would say lean back and relax, go against the A.B.C. (always be closing) mentality that is prevelant now. Hold off on the kino and kissing on the FIRST date and you may come off as in control and not thirsty. IMO this will increase your chances of a second date bc she'll be wondering what you're thinking.

well that's it then. we've come full circle.

kino out.
kiss close out.

best way to get the girl nowadays is to do nothing and go afc. :yes:

 

[nismo-4]

A first date went well if you actually get a second date. Talk is worth about as much as a Chinese nickel. Anything other than a yes with actions to back it up is a no, and warrants a deletion.

I seem to have this problem too. Hell, many of us do!

Most women I've been dating have been one date wonders. We go out, she says she enjoyed herself, but she ends up going ghost. At that point, I delete the number since it normally means she's in another castle and I have failed, and she didn't have a good time.

Or she goes out for attention seeking validation and bangs the male model she has waiting at home. All it takes is a better man to enter the picture and her feelings will disappear for you.

Being women's options are near infinite, they can change their feelings for you by nanoseconds. She can be hot as Las Vegas in July on 12/12/2014 and just go cold like an iceberg on 12/14/2014.

Another reason they go ghost on you is because you showed you want sex and refuse to be just friends or an orbiter. Regardless, you have been NEXTed, and you can't NEXT a girl you haven't f**ked.

The conundrum? Be too aloof and wait to call back, alpha swoops in and she dumps you (in the friendzone). Call back too early, she pegs you as a desperate creep and blocks you at worst, beta orbiter at best. Show indifference, it only works if she wants to see you again. Otherwise she moves on.

Judge nismo's take.

 

[Roni_88]

Interesting topic, I thought this only happened to me..great first and second dates ..then she goes ghost.. but I dont feed their ego neither, I drop them,, but sometimes I do ask myself if something happened.

 

[LMFAO]

I've experienced this again now. Went out with a girl a friend introduced me. Went to a bar, the b!tch though was 30 minutes late. I was really debating whether to go home, and perhaps I should have. She's an HB9 and looks stunning.

Met up with her, had a couple of rounds of drinks she "seemed" to be having a great time, laughing, joking and even flirting. Went back to the train, kissed her on the lips but she wouldn't open her mouth for a proper kiss WTF. I told her "open wide" she said: "would you excuse me for now?". Why would she kiss me even on the lips then. Fvcking weirdo.

Never heard back after that. Probably shouldn't expect to though. I think she had entitlement issues, thinking she's entitled to everything, being really late, not even offering to pay, not sending a text back to at least say thanks but don't want to take things further.