Sudden no reply: playing hard to get or starting to flake?

[ApolloCreed]

First post after checking out these forums for a few weeks. Got a lot of experience but still prone to the odd spur of the moment rookie mistake.

Anyway, I'm looking for some insight into this situation - it's nothing major but I'm intrigued as to what you dudes might make of it:

Met a girl in a bar just under 2 weeks ago. Talked for hours, got her pretty hooked (i.e. she followed me around for the rest of the night). Lots of making out but she turned down my offer to head back to mine. No big deal, figured her friends being there may have had something to do with it.

She added me on FB, exchanged a few messages. We arranged a weeknight date (which goes against my usual rules) - dinner and drinks - had a pretty awesome night. FYI I picked up the dinner bill (going against another one of my rules), but made her buy me drinks. Again, lots of making out along with some comments indicating HI (an invite to go out with her and her friends, which I turned down). Invited her back to mine again, but she refused citing the fact it's a weeknight - which I expected.

Exchanged a couple of texts this week (one or two a day), with me suggesting we go out again. She suggested Friday night, and I agreed. No precise location/time was decided.

Now, after setting this up I should have gone cold - but I sent her a pretty pointless general chit chat text (I think this is my key error here). It's been 24 hours and she hasn't replied - which isn't a problem, except now as it's Thursday and I don't like having my weekends ****ed around with, I need to either:

a) See if she responds so we can confirm our plans.
b) Disregard her lack of reply and send a text to get things back on track.
c) Forget her completely, which isn't ideal as she's been a fairly promising lead up to this point.

The annoying thing here is that she's pretty, but not as hot as the usual chicks I mess around with. She is, however, intelligent with a good career - and I had her pinned down as a bit of a normal/nice girl, so I've probably been treating her with kid gloves (paying for dinner, general chit chat) rather than my usual ******* routine.

So what do you reckon - is she trying to keep me keen or is she flaking?

AC

 

[ApolloCreed]

Thanks for the reply.

Obviously that had crossed my mind - but it was her that suggested meeting up Friday night. I'm not totally convinced another dude is what's going on, but of course I may be wrong.

 

[st_99]

She is, however, intelligent with a good career - and I had her pinned down as a bit of a normal/nice girl,

:nono:

and its probably not another guy but 2 or 3 other guys.

 

[ApolloCreed]

:nono:

and its probably not another guy but 2 or 3 other guys.

Haha alright, point taken. I have other chicks too so that doesn't faze me.

So what you believe, is that within X hours she internally retracted her offer, hence the lack of contact?

Anyway, how do I proceed? I have nothing invested in this chick - she's a total random, so cutting her loose for one lack of reply makes little sense as I have nothing to lose. My pride is basically impenetrable.

Do I text again before tomorrow night or go NC for a week or two then resume? Obviously not replying again would be the end of the situation.

 

[Htienvu]

She stopped responding to your chit chat texting, I do that sometimes with girls. Do you really expect the texting to go on forever?

What I would do is call her up or send her a text to confirm the date. If she doesn't reply or decline then you will know. Like you said, you have options so it shouldn't bother you too much.

 

[Iceberg]

She stopped responding to your chit chat texting, I do that sometimes with girls. Do you really expect the texting to go on forever?

What I would do is call her up or send her a text to confirm the date. If she doesn't reply or decline then you will know. Like you said, you have options so it shouldn't bother you too much.

This is the only piece of advice in this thread that makes sense. Everyone else just sounds like paranoid weirdos.

1 - Maybe she just doesn't feel like having an endless text conversation

2 - Maybe she's not interested

The only way to find out is to confirm the date and see what happens.

 

[st_99]

paranoid weirdos.

assuming a desirable girl is playing the field is hardly paranoid, its just real life. sorry.

 

[MisterD]

You're basically playing with house money so really you're free to do any number of things. You arent serious with this girl, you have other options, you're not phased one way or the other. So it is what it is. Confirm your date for tomorrow and if she flakes or doesnt respond to your text, she's done and you move on. The sooner you find all these things out the better.

 

[Iceberg]

assuming a desirable girl is playing the field is hardly paranoid, its just real life. sorry.

But every good looking girl you meet isn't playing the field, taking 2 or 3 c**ks at a time.

There are people who are just trying to live normal lives and occasionally date a person they like. Not every attractive person just goes around collecting numbers and banging random people nonstop.

I'm not saying you're wrong. There are definitely some skanks out there. But too many dudes on here operate under the assumption that every attractive woman is getting f**ked 20 hours per day.

 

[MisterD]

But every good looking girl you meet, isn't playing the field, taking 2 or 3 c**ks at a time.

There are people who are just trying to live normal lives and occasionally date a person they like. Not every attractive person just goes around collecting numbers and banging random people nonstop.

I think there is a medium between what you guys are saying. I agree with the fact just because a woman is hot/single doesnt mean shes getting a new **** every other day...but she COULD if she wanted. And that's the thing. She may not take her options up on their offers of sex and dates, but they are there. If she sees this guy as x amount of value, and a guy of perceived higher value asks her out, she may go for what she thinks is the better deal. Doesn't mean shes sleeping with him or will sleep with him. But that offer is always on the table. But I also feel like overthinking that aspect is pointless because you can't control that either way. If she digs you she digs you, end of. You can only control your side, and do your job as far as attraction goes.

 

[ApolloCreed]

My perspective here is more in tune with what Htienvu, Iceberg and MisterD have said. I think the pointless chit chat I mentioned ****ed up the intrigue I'd been building.

My dilemma basically boils down to:

1) Waiting it out and risking her not getting in touch (end game).
2) Text/call her to confirm, yet risk looking like I'm a bit keen.

I'll probably send her a text this evening.

 

[MisterD]

My perspective here is more in tune with what Htienvu, Iceberg and MisterD have said. I think the pointless chit chat I mentioned ****ed up the intrigue I'd been building.

My dilemma basically boils down to:

1) Waiting it out and risking her not getting in touch (end game).
2) Text/call her to confirm, yet risk looking like I'm a bit keen.

I'll probably send her a text this evening.

Honestly if the "pointless chit chat" is what did her in, then **** her. She's not worth it. To me, girls like that just expect men to jump one hoop after another and keep them entertained and the minute you dont do it, they say oh he's dull, NEXT! Instead of recalling all the previous times where you were awesome/interesting. Don't get involved with a chick who expects all the entertainment to come from you. Attraction is a two way street.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Just forget her for now and let her get back to you. If the chick has the SLIGHTEST interest, she'll contact you again at some point.

Go have some fun with your friends for friday night. Or schedule a different date.

 

[nismo-4]

Thank you OP, but your princess is in another castle!

Distance yourself from this girl and go for another one, as this one is withholding female companionship, love, etc. That's the treadmill effect, you're running but getting nowhere. Do yourself a favor and spin more plates. Don't drag out this rejection any more. Court's orders.

When a girl loses interest in you and starts flaking, there's another man in the picture who's better than you. And who doesn't do pointless texting. Did you read my stickied thread?

I'm gonna rule you guilty of having pointless texting. The court orders you to text less, sex more. You dug your own grave. Don't do it again. :trouble:

By the way, don't text her back. Going no contact and getting another girl is the best thing that is for you right now.

Case closed.

 

[ApolloCreed]

Just forget her for now and let her get back to you. If the chick has the SLIGHTEST interest, she'll contact you again at some point.

Go have some fun with your friends for friday night. Or schedule a different date.

That's the obvious advice to go with. However, she's leaving the country in 4 weeks so it would only be a short fling at most anyway. After 2 nights of making out and treating her to dinner, I want some @ss.

My inclination towards getting on her case to confirm the date is because it's a disposable situation on a limited time scale.

Blah, don't you hate it when a "sure thing", isn't?

 

[ApolloCreed]

Thank you OP, but your princess is in another castle!

Distance yourself from this girl and go for another one, as this one is withholding female companionship, love, etc. That's the treadmill effect, you're running but getting nowhere. Do yourself a favor and spin more plates. Don't drag out this rejection any more. Court's orders.

When a girl loses interest in you and starts flaking, there's another man in the picture who's better than you. And who doesn't do pointless texting. Did you read my stickied thread?

I'm gonna rule you guilty of having pointless texting. The court orders you to text less, sex more. You dug your own grave. Don't do it again. :trouble:

Case closed.

This is truly genius advice.. haha! Awesome.

 

[nismo-4]

That's the obvious advice to go with. However, she's leaving the country in 4 weeks so it would only be a short fling at most anyway. After 2 nights of making out and treating her to dinner, I want some @ss.

My inclination towards getting on her case to confirm the date is because it's a disposable situation on a limited time scale.

Blah, don't you hate it when a "sure thing", isn't?

1. Nothing in life is etched in stone.

2. Dinner dates are for chicks you've f**ked. It's female companionship at best, money spent on false hope at worst otherwise. There are dates that don't cost a lot or nothing, yet that creativity will win great points.

 

[ApolloCreed]

1. Nothing in life is etched in stone.

2. Dinner dates are for chicks you've f**ked. It's female companionship at best, money spent on false hope at worst otherwise. There are dates that don't cost a lot or nothing, yet that creativity will win great points.

That's my general rule, and the first time I've broken it in years.

Never break the rules.

 

[ApolloCreed]

UPDATE:

So I decided to text her - "Yo, still on for tomorrow night? Gotta iron out my weekend plans!"

She replied fairly quickly with: "For sure! >Inside joke<!".

Hardly enthusiastic, so I'm thinking it's a case of forget the bull****, get her drunk, get her back to mine - whilst being aware that a last minute flake isn't out of the question.

 

[ApolloCreed]

Hardly UNenthusiastic either, so I wouldnt worry too much. Granted you know the girl better than I do obviously.

Yeah true - I'm just used to dealing with crazy chicks who get obsessed when they're interested. Hence why I mentioned this one being 'nice/normal' - I find those girls harder to read.