Success Starts Between Your Ears

[BeExcellent]

Shameless year end bump.

Thought 18: Execute/Optimize/Streamline

As you embark on your journey to success you'll have to reset, sort, be flexible and changeable and able to adjust on the fly. Life is more about endurance than anything else...more marathon than sprint. Technology changes, we all get older, our attitudes change, our values evolve. Be dynamic in your life & always have a willingness to examine yourself with new eyes; a willingness to adjust your strategies to be congruent with who you are and what you want in the present moment.

Thought 19: Success will expand according to your belief

Earlier I talked about the inherent rate limiting qualities of solid goal setting as one works to establish success thinking & success habits. Once you reach a level of success where you reap the rewards of discipline in goal setting I challenge you to remove your limits, take off the training wheels and let your life take flight.

Deals are raining on me now. It's ridiculous. I just closed on a 5 house deal this week...the day I arrived for closing another deal fell in my lap for a 2 unit flat...and today another for 3 houses well under market value...A multimillion dollar deal awaits in the wings too if my belief is big enough. These are ALL non-published pocket deals. It's so cool to be self determined. It's wonderful to be sought out. It starts with self belief. It conveys so much freedom of choice. Clients want me, deals find me, there is more opportunity in my immediate circle than I can handle...so I'm sharing within some in my circles with those who have certain synergies. Sharing the opportunities. I didn't think I'd ever get here. Now it's as natural as breathing. I'm very pleased & having a ball.

Thought 20: Have an End Game/Exit strategy

Success is wonderful, wealth is great and all but money does not make a rich life in and of itself. There are plenty of wealthy but unhappy people just as there are plenty of happy people of meager means. Along the way each of us must determine what is meaningful in life; what do we most value. For me I see money and wealth as a means to an end. I don't need to have the most, I don't need to beat everybody else. I want enough. Enough to do what you ask? Enough to take care of myself, my children & my ex, enough to purchase financial independence, enough to travel and live well. Enough not to depend on another...

I am planning to retire in the next year or so. I use the term loosely. More accurately I plan to transition to pursuits that ignite my passions & creativity. Conversations have revealed opportunities in creative endeavors that I plan to capitalize on as I free my time to do so. I plan to continue to mentor others, here and elsewhere, and encourage those who are bold enough to seek success and self improvement. I am so grateful to those who have believed in me and who have mentored me in my journey thus far. So grateful for my father, who I lost this year, who taught me character and resolve and what a great man looks like. It is humbling and I am deeply appreciative.

It is my hope that these thoughts benefit some here. Many of you inspire me to be better and I see progress and growth in many of you who I have had the pleasure to interact with here since I showed up...when we agree, and when we do not.

Life is not a dress rehearsal gentlemen. We get one pass through this place...make it count and make it great.

I did it and continue to do it.

So too can you.

To your Success Gentlemen - BE

 

[BeExcellent]

Time for the shameless BUMP.

 

[wifehunter]

Time for the shameless BUMP.

"Success Starts Between Your Ears"

Yet, knuckleheads continue to think it starts between their legs.

 

[AAAgent]

For a while now I've thought about sharing some thoughts about what a successful person is and how a successful person behaves differently than the majority of people. I thought I'd create a thread about the process because all I knew when I got started was that I had a deep seated desire to become a success but no real idea how to get there. I trust others here may be in that same boat as I once was and so here are some ideas and words to encourage you.

Let me start by saying I am still learning and there are people here who are more successful and more accomplished than myself. Please feel welcome to contribute your thoughts and words of wisdom here, your comments are appreciated.

I'll also share for those that don't know that I am a woman. I have found that I have had to overcome some preconceived notions about being a woman over the years, and I have come to believe if I can do this anyone can provided you have enough desire.

With that - on to the details. See next post!

I think reading and observing is great but it's just a small part of becoming successful. The largest part to success that people tend to forget, is just doing. You have to take risks but if you're stuck reading about how to be successful or watching videos, listening to speeches, attending self help/motivation seminars, that's a lot of time you're spending not doing.

You have to fail, fail fast, and fail often. Failing often allows you to pursue many opportunities and also allows you to experience the scariest things in life that many refuse to. If you are part of the lucky few that actually can learn from mistakes, refuse to give up, you may be lucky enough to nail an opportunity! Everything you've learned from failing will surprisingly come together perfectly to propel you to success given the right opportunity. Make as much money as you can from the one opportunity as many people usually don't get more than 1 opportunity to exponentially grow their wealth. Make it big. Do it well. Then diversify that new found wealth. I've seen many people have their chance at success only to see it short lived a few years by blowing that money on stuff that didn't help them long term. Like cars, strippers, vacations, house, etc. Then you have the other successful people that drive the same mediocre car, live in the same mediocre apartment/house for 10+ years, while investing their money to new projects and ventures to grow their wealth. 15 years later, they live in a mansion, drive exotic cars, and are traveling the world.

The hardest part is making that first 1 million to 10 million. The second hardest part is growing that new found wealth and maintaining the same spending habits you had previously. Spending well under what you earn.

 

[greatsnake]

It all starts in your head. Once your inner world changes, your outer world will as well.

 

[spred]

My question is where is the breaking point where you realize you are successful and things start to fall into a pattern.
Is it the feedback you get from numbers, data, facts, or is it a state of mind?

 

[Paradiddle]

Those who quit (which is the majority of people) remove themselves from the running. This means there is unlimited opportunity for those who don't quit.

Word.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What's in your head affects your vibe.

 

[BeExcellent]

My question is where is the breaking point where you realize you are successful and things start to fall into a pattern.
Is it the feedback you get from numbers, data, facts, or is it a state of mind?

This is a great question. I have been thinking about it for a number of days now. In my opinion this is an individual thing and will vary greatly from one person to another. In addition it is a dynamic thing and will change as one's life, life goals and desires change. I see it as a state of mind that is backed up by data but more importantly that bears itself out in how your life looks on a day to day basis.

So I think it starts with what you envision for your life and how congruent your actual life happens to be in comparison. For me personally I wanted to be able to create enough passive income that I could be in the home and be a parent before my children are grown. That requires a certain amount of money. I also wanted to be able to determine how much I work, for whom, and do it less than full time. I hate office culture so I structured my life to avoid that waste of time and to maximize my freedom in conjunction with having enough means to afford things for my family in the lifestyle to which we are accustomed.

So for me personally I'm all about quality of life. Rather than work like crazy to afford the exotic car or the boat or the status-y things, I find time to be the most valuable thing I have, so I wanted to chart a course to buy back my time. I've done that at the six figure level. So it's nice. But I also could easily spend money recklessly, as so many people do, and outstrip the passive income stream that I've created. I do NOT do that, which requires self-discipline.

So I am at a place right now where I am satisfied with my ability to provide for my family, happy with the income streams I have built and I am focused on my kids and being a parent for the next few years as a higher priority than making lots more money. But I am also formulating other goals for out there in the future too, and continuing to structure things today to have me in an optimal position to seize opportunities. And at times opportunities come to me, and those I go ahead and take advantage of because I'm not having to expend a great deal of energy identifying those things.

This is why goal setting at the outset is important. You can always move the goalposts later. I'm sure I'll move mine at some point, but when you start out with a defined goal you can build a map and chart your progress and know when you have achieved what you set out to achieve. That is a rewarding thing and it gives you immense self-confidence that you can repeat the process again to accomplish what you set out to accomplish. It is an upwardly moving positive feedback loop.

But how to define when you have "arrived"? Very individual metric.

 

[AAAgent]

My question is where is the breaking point where you realize you are successful and things start to fall into a pattern.
Is it the feedback you get from numbers, data, facts, or is it a state of mind?

Many people see success differently. So it's really all in the eyes of that particular beholder imo. Some view success as financial freedom. Others view it as social proof. When you combine financial freedom, social proof together, with a little luck, that's what i classify as generic success (public's opinion of success). As @BeExcellent stated, it's the ones of who don't give up that have higher chances of getting lucky and becoming successful.

Having financial freedom was what really started to change people's opinions about me. You have the ability to choose things you want to do based off your interests and not off of $$. I work now because I want to work. If i did not want this job i could quit with no remorse and go retire. Having financial freedom also allowed me to go into opportunities to negotiate what I wanted the terms of my position to be, not the other way around. People started hearing about what I do that I didn't even know and I was meeting them for the first time.

You'll also see people more interested in talking to you and hearing you out when they view you as successful. You'll have people who normally wouldn't talk to you, trying to engage you in conversation. These people are either trying to learn from you, mooch from you, or attracted to you. You'll also have people jealous as well that try to belittle what you do, but there aren't many of those. Financial freedom seems to draw in the social proof which only further increases people's opinion of you.

----
There are definitely many patterns to success. I didn't realize this until my early 20's. Luck is a major part of it because you need to be in the game long enough or last long enough chasing success to be able to have luck work in your favor. I was lucky enough to become a nationally ranked athlete in highschool through hard work and competitiveness. Had good coaches to guide me as well but in life you don't also have coaches to help fill in that gap of planning to help you be successful. Through much contemplation and failed attempts at many things, I realized I was missing the planning portion that my coaches had supplemented. I got better at planning slowly, and eventually I put together the pieces of the puzzle and realized that if I just planned better, things would get easier. Planning is a major key to success and is what many or most people lack imo. People don't care enough to think long term.

Now, if I want something. I follow the pattern of planning everything out step by step. I set milestone goals where each one gets me closer to my final objective. I also always set a fallback goal, since sometimes luck is not in your favor. If the primary objective is not reached by the time all the milestones are met, I ensure that the secondary goal is guaranteed in it's place.

 

[spred]

Thanks BE and Agent for your responses.
It is definitely different for everybody, I am looking to see how other people see it, especially people near my age (40).
For me it was and is difficult to evaluate where I am standing relative to real successful people. I have a great career, enough money not to worry about the future (I am not rich but I always had money on the side).
I can relate with BE with the buying back of time, focusing on other things than my profession. I have managed a year ago to land a great job, basically 90 percent of time it doesn't feel like work.
Now I have enough time to look for a partner (LTR) and I see that I get a lot of attention from women because of what is called LMS.
Very few women looked interested 10-20 years ago when I was broke lol.
The key for me is when to decide to settle. I have the opportunity to change jobs and countries every 2 or 3 years and be in the top 20 people in my business in 20 years.
But also I make enough money and professional status to start downshifting now and get married.

Tough call, will give more thought lol

 

[BeExcellent]

Shameless year end bump.

Thought 18: Execute/Optimize/Streamline

As you embark on your journey to success you'll have to reset, sort, be flexible and changeable and able to adjust on the fly. Life is more about endurance than anything else...more marathon than sprint. Technology changes, we all get older, our attitudes change, our values evolve. Be dynamic in your life & always have a willingness to examine yourself with new eyes; a willingness to adjust your strategies to be congruent with who you are and what you want in the present moment.

Time for the bump and reprisal of this thread:

Thought I would pop over here and give an update as I move forward on the life trajectory. This year has been one of optimization for me. In the first quarter of the year I jettisoned a difficult consulting client. Two better opportunities immediately emerged to fill that void. Both are great clients, I am earning a higher rate than ever before and I have amazing work life balance.

On the real estate side I have done a thorough evaluation of my holdings and have sold off a number of things. Anything that was an underperformer is gone. Others were sold to realize equity and pay down debt. Currently I sit at a 7 figure net worth with only $500K (well just under that amount) remaining to pay down. I set up the trust structure necessary to protect my assets and assure the income transfers to my beneficiaries in the event of my demise or incapacitation.

I strongly encourage each of you to consider what happens in the event of your death or disability. It is a more present concern for those who have minor children and/or those who are 40+ or 50+ but none of us is forever of this world and none of us are privy to out remaining time here.

I am preparing to move full time to a major metro that I enjoy socially and have just rewarded myself recently with a car that most people only dream of ever owning. And if said car becomes too annoyingly expensive to own, I have a friend who has stated repeatedly that he will buy it off me whenever I tire of it. The car fell into my lap quite unexpectedly...but I spoke it into existance by being very specific a la Thought 17.

Creative opportunities outside my current professional sectors have emerged in the last 3 months. Conversations to manifest those opportunities are ongoing at present and I expect will reach fruition in early 2020. I am excited and grateful for those opportunities as they will provide the vehicle for me to reach my financial goals.

As I proceed in this way I am constantly reminded that the people I associate with are a direct reflection on me and an influence in my life. I have walked away from some negative influences in 2019 and like clockwork life has come forward with more and better offerings. I have made new social connections, joined new organizations and withdrawn from people who may not have my best interests at heart or who are not encouraging.

You are a reflection of the individuals closest to you. Never forget that. I am not saying to discard all your old friends and family and so on, but rather to recognize that the people you allow into your inner circle have a tremendous and at times unspoken sway in your life. Be very aware of who you let in.

Enjoy the upcoming Holiday Season Gentlemen. As always I wish you the best and that you manifest success in your lives just as I pursue it in mine.

Cheers!

 

[BeExcellent]

Thought 21: Leave a Legacy

Help others by giving of your knowledge, your skills, your wisdom and your time. You never know who you might assist, influence, encourage and uplift through your sharing with those around you. I have been blessed to have people in my life mentor me, advise me and counsel me along the way. Some of those people are men on this forum. You know who you are. Thank you.

It is my hope that sharing here and conversing with some of you privately promotes your own progress on your own journey. I have other areas of life where I also give back but this forum has given me great insight in my time here.

This is an encouraging place for men of all ages. I hope that it is always a place of comraderie and encouragement for those who want to improve themselves and transform their lives. It is MUCH more than a pick up forum.

 

[switch7]

Time for the bump and reprisal of this thread:

Thought I would pop over here and give an update as I move forward on the life trajectory. This year has been one of optimization for me. In the first quarter of the year I jettisoned a difficult consulting client. Two better opportunities immediately emerged to fill that void. Both are great clients, I am earning a higher rate than ever before and I have amazing work life balance.

On the real estate side I have done a thorough evaluation of my holdings and have sold off a number of things. Anything that was an underperformer is gone. Others were sold to realize equity and pay down debt. Currently I sit at a 7 figure net worth with only $500K (well just under that amount) remaining to pay down. I set up the trust structure necessary to protect my assets and assure the income transfers to my beneficiaries in the event of my demise or incapacitation.

I strongly encourage each of you to consider what happens in the event of your death or disability. It is a more present concern for those who have minor children and/or those who are 40+ or 50+ but none of us is forever of this world and none of us are privy to out remaining time here.

I am preparing to move full time to a major metro that I enjoy socially and have just rewarded myself recently with a car that most people only dream of ever owning. And if said car becomes too annoyingly expensive to own, I have a friend who has stated repeatedly that he will buy it off me whenever I tire of it. The car fell into my lap quite unexpectedly...but I spoke it into existance by being very specific a la Thought 17.

Creative opportunities outside my current professional sectors have emerged in the last 3 months. Conversations to manifest those opportunities are ongoing at present and I expect will reach fruition in early 2020. I am excited and grateful for those opportunities as they will provide the vehicle for me to reach my financial goals.

As I proceed in this way I am constantly reminded that the people I associate with are a direct reflection on me and an influence in my life. I have walked away from some negative influences in 2019 and like clockwork life has come forward with more and better offerings. I have made new social connections, joined new organizations and withdrawn from people who may not have my best interests at heart or who are not encouraging.

You are a reflection of the individuals closest to you. Never forget that. I am not saying to discard all your old friends and family and so on, but rather to recognize that the people you allow into your inner circle have a tremendous and at times unspoken sway in your life. Be very aware of who you let in.

Enjoy the upcoming Holiday Season Gentlemen. As always I wish you the best and that you manifest success in your lives just as I pursue it in mine.

Cheers!

Would love to know what your day looks like, i.e what you do from when you get up to when you go to bed and how much time you spend relaxing vs working/being productive.

 

[BeExcellent]

In response to your request @switch7 it varies. I office at home and have several homes. If I’m traveling it depends what the client needs and where. Sometimes it’s driven by the children’s schedule, sometimes by what the income property demands, sometimes it’s hectic, sometimes it’s not.

I have flexibility to do what needs to get accomplished on a schedule that suits me and allows me plenty of sleep, personal time & family time while still fulfilling client & business obligations.

I don’t have what I consider F you money. Not yet. But I can see it and will get there sooner rather than later. Even with college tuition starting next fall.

 

[candyman105]

And yet she stuffs the vacuous interior between her ears with endless poisonous substances. Neurotoxins such as alcohol, mercury laden fish and shellfish, and botulinum toxin (street name "botox"). What kind of an idiot is dumb enough to inject a substance that is actually labeled "toxic" in it's actual market name. Not once but several times a year.

Never take advice from a woman. There's no doubt she got into the financial position she's in via divorce rape anyway. She'll lie through her teeth about that too, so don't even bother having a conversation with her.

 

[BeExcellent]

And yet she stuffs the vacuous interior between her ears with endless poisonous substances. Neurotoxins such as alcohol, mercury laden fish and shellfish, and botulinum toxin (street name "botox"). What kind of an idiot is dumb enough to inject a substance that is actually labeled "toxic" in it's actual market name. Not once but several times a year.

Never take advice from a woman. There's no doubt she got into the financial position she's in via divorce rape anyway. She'll lie through her teeth about that too, so don't even bother having a conversation with her.

My ex husband was a stay at home father for more than a decade and I was the sole breadwinner for my family. You can find my story in the thread “How to Spot a Unicorn”.

I was the one at risk for getting split in half financially. I’m a self made millionaire. Many of the men here know that. Read up on my history before you make yourself look silly.

I am here to encourage life success. After all if I, a mere woman can do it...then what’s your excuse as a man? Hmmmmm?

To your success! Cheers!

 

[lamath]

Very good stuff.

I have observe some people succeed with some buiness i would have never tought would.

Their idea and point of view seems unrealistic even impossible,but in the end with some hard work and unconventional idea they succeeded.

Good celebrety example of this are Musk ,Branson and even Arnold.

 

[switch7]

And yet she stuffs the vacuous interior between her ears with endless poisonous substances. Neurotoxins such as alcohol, mercury laden fish and shellfish, and botulinum toxin (street name "botox"). What kind of an idiot is dumb enough to inject a substance that is actually labeled "toxic" in it's actual market name. Not once but several times a year.

Never take advice from a woman. There's no doubt she got into the financial position she's in via divorce rape anyway. She'll lie through her teeth about that too, so don't even bother having a conversation with her.

Dude, seriously, get some therapy, what you think of women just isn't healthy and victimises yourself.

 

[candyman105]

I've met this type many, many, many times before. Actually, she is the norm now. A ballbuster who has to be in control and winds up marrying a beta male as her pet. Then, she cheats on him or at least tries to, whining the entire time "woah is me, my husband's a beta male!"

She is miserable now because she's spent an entire lifetime trying to be something she's not: a man. She lost her chance to live a life as a successful female, which is a life of service to her man and her children. Instead, she's a geriatric anorexic addicted to botox, trying to look like a 15 year old.

A woman by nature exists to serve her man and her family. Anything else is a waste. And that's what she is here: a wasted up old granny desperate for internet attention.

My ex husband was a stay at home father for more than a decade and I was the sole breadwinner for my family. You can find my story in the thread “How to Spot a Unicorn”.

I was the one at risk for getting split in half financially. I’m a self made millionaire. Many of the men here know that. Read up on my history before you make yourself look silly.

I am here to encourage life success. After all if I, a mere woman can do it...then what’s your excuse as a man? Hmmmmm?

To your success! Cheers!