Stuttering

[Mr.Impeccible]

To the eye, I'm new to the site, but thats not the case. I have been on & off SS for a couple of months. I have a good bit of the DJ ways down so you can say I am pretty average when it comes to pulling in women.

My only two (noticeable) problems I have when it comes to my game is the fact that I'm still living with my mother (I'm USAF bound so I will be out of her house within the coming months) & my speech defect, which is my occasional stuttering.

Now when I stutter, I don't repeat words over & over ("I, I, I am CC"), but when I am about to say a certain word (mostly when I have to repeat something I already said or when starting off a sentence), it is difficult for me to get it out my mouth. Also, over the years, I have adapted to frowning up my face or basically any kind of force to help me get the word out.

I just 19 & had this problem since my toddler days. I took speech class in Elementary school, but didn't work because of the fact that I was still young & didn't take it serious. I don't think there are any speech classes for adults in my area. If any of you have any tips, advice, recommendations for a golden solution to my aggravating disability, it will be highly & greatly appreciated. I just don't want to be going on 21 with this lifetime burden I have been carrying on my back all my lifetime.

 

[Cinamon]

Turn the negativity in to a positive. If you struggle to repeat something, rather than get frustrated it isnt coming out right, try saying it with a more jestful tone, then even if it doesnt come out right, the awkwardness isnt there where your thinking i cant say this and she is thinking poor him. If you do it jestfully, with the ditzy blonde kind of persona it makes the situation a bit more light hearted. It will help you control the situation better, until you find speech theraphy starts working.

 

[Mr.Impeccible]

Will put that into effect asap. Any other advice will be appreciated. Thanks though.

 

[scrouds]

Hit the yellow pages for speech therapists. There's bound to be some in the area.

 

[Samedi]

My girlfriend has a stammer, she told me before we met that she had one. I didn't have a problem with it I told her. She gets stuck on words and either repeats the sentence or trys to get the word out like "m,m,m". She does breathing techniques to help her. So when she talks she'll sorta breath out and on her next breath try to say the word. She sometimes wears a strap around her chest to help her know when she's got the breathing right, as it pulls tight or something when she does.

I don't know about you, but my gf said she doesn't like it when people try and guess what's she's trying to say. Though it can be tough trying to keep ya mouth shut when you know what's gonna be said and your eager to keep the conversation flowing. Sometimes I've waited 3 minutes or more for her to try and say "brother" for example. It's all about being patient. Eye contact is important so my gf says, it helps her.

So speaking for myself, i do have some sort of distraction I can look at briefly, cause staring at the eyes for a long period of time while a person speaks is hard. It's not ignorance I don't think, just helps to overcome any awkwardness on my part. So if a girl you meet is not paying attention from your perspective, this doesn't always mean that's she's not interested.

You can weed out the girls who don't have patience I guess, so that's a positive. I've seen other girls laugh and people give looks when my gf is trying to talk. But i admire my gf's determination to not give in and will keep at it till she says what she has to say. So if she's ordering or buying food, and there's a line of people waiting behind, if it takes 5 mins to say what she wants, then so be it. Remember, you have as much right as anyone else. Don't let others hurry you along, or be spoken down to.

I don't think you can ever rule somebody out just because they have a disability. Speach classes are good so my gf says, she felt that helped alot, because you can meet some nice people and also get motivation from the storys they tell etc.

This is kinda written for the OP and others at the same time so soz for the jumbled mess. Hope this helps in some way.

 

[Mr.Impeccible]

I did find a hospital in another town that has speech therapy so I will see how good will that do me. But yeah, I'm like your g/f when people try to finish my sentences. But over the years, I always had a big insecurity about it so I never really talked to anyone about it.

I recently started talking to my mother about it and she revealed to me that she & two of her brothers used to stutter & stammer back in the day. She also told me that she still does stutter a little now (which I never knew or noticed). She told me as they all got older, the stuttering decreased.

So I will try this therapy thing & take it serious this time around. If it doesn't help me like I am expecting, then hopefully time itself will help heal this for me. Thanks for the input ,also, guys.

 

[Ruster21]

Alright man. My english is not so great, but I hope you'll understand me.

I used to have shuttering until about 4 months ago it almost disappeared. [I am 21 now]

Before that, ordinary things were almost impossible to do, for example talking on the phone, reading in a front of the class, public speaking ect.. But then realized that all my life I was afraid to say something, I was bullied and hiding in the dark corner... I was super skinny and insecure. I was ALONE at a prom, I didn't have any friends... my cellphone sometimes didn't ring for 3 months.. Nobody cared about me, I was invisible.. Until the age of 21. I realized that I will do anything to make myself better man. I started going to the gym, I am a big guy now. I started reading PUA stuff and listen to podcasts... It was then I realized that all my life I was afraid to speak, so I started to speak to everyone... I took baby steps at first,,,, I just said Hello to bus driver, sales man ect.. Then i had just normal conversation.

But what really helped me, was this: I was standing in the front of a mirror, looking to my right eye, and said Affirmations to myself. for example I said: I am a confident man!! I am a sexually desirable man !! Women want to talk to me everywhere I go!!! I am good looking man!!! I am not afraid of anyone !!! ALL WHOM I DO NOT SEE WHEN I STAND ALONE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR ARE BENEATH ME Do this EVERY DAY for 20 mins. And not just speak, but FEEL what you're saying. Then always walk as if you're a boss. Have a swagger. Be confident, Dont care what other people think about you.... And soon you will realize, that your Stuttering will disappear.

BTW...

Now, I am a tall big motherf*cker, Speak every time I want, whatever I want. I have about 20 friends and 3 women on my team. So now I stutter only when I have a very big fear.... For example the last time I stuttered was about 3 days ago, when I was talking on the phone with boss of my boss about some stupid **** I did about a week ago.. I was so afraid to speak to him..... It wasn't quite a stutter.. It was more like: I couldn't say just a simple word "Hello" in the beginning of the conversation, so I was quiet for about 10 seconds, until suddenly it was OK and I spoke normally. BUT talking to ordinary people is easy as pie now, because I have a mindset of a confident porn star.

 

[scrouds]

I almost forgot... my college had a speech therapy department. Maybe a local college has something as well, and they can hook you up free/cheap for being a pin cushion for their students. Worth a shot.

 

[FirefighterMD]

Everyone jumbles on words occasionally, so just know that no one is really going to think less of you if you occasionally stutter. Speech therapy probably is a bit extreme, but it'll probably provide the most substantial and extreme results.

When I grew up, I was simultaneously taught two languages: English and Polish. Since Polish is a slavic language, the pronunciations are sometimes a bit different, and I've found that on certain English words, it'll occasionally come out funny. Important thing is to just play it off lightheartedly.

 

[Mr.Impeccible]

Interesting. By the responses I have gotten so far, I am coming to the conclusion that it is nothing more than a mental thing I have going on inside my head. But yeah thanks again for your inputs. My goal is now to "forget" about my stutter because I do have the confidence, but the possibility of stuttering in front of someone always seem to float in the back on my mind when I'm about to talk to someone.

 

[londonzen]

ive never heard a girl stutter b4

 

[Mr.Impeccible]

It is more common in males than females.

 

[Ruster21]

Yeah.. I heard that men shutter about 5 times more than women.... BTW, there are many shutter discussion boards on the internet... Just search in google.... But IMHO speech classes won't help you much.... I've heard, that when you are surrounded with other shuttering people in the speech class, It will actually make your shutter even worse.... There is no magic pill to take....

 

[PSYCHO]

Stuttering is a physical thing, but the conscious may exacerbate it, because you are fearful of stuttering, and thus because of this conscious thought of making an error, it may cause you to error.

Here is the physical cure for stuttering... http://sciencelinks.jp/j-east/article/200605/000020060506A0114270.php

 

[Mr.Impeccible]

I can see that as a good tool to assist people in reducing their stutter.

But I, as an individual, would rather not use such a device. The cons outweigh the pros more, IMO. Being dependent on a tool & the cost stands out more to me than the temp elimination of the stutter.

Mind power is the best solution, again, IMO.

 

[Jizzee]

A possible answer....

I am a 25 year old guy who has stammered badly since I was about 5-6 (reportadly when my grandfather died), and have struggled with this absolutely dreadful debilitating afflication up until I was about 22. My advice to the OP is to search Google or Yahoo or whatever for "McGuire Programme", a Speech Therapy Course run by Recovering Stammerers, for Stammerers, and try to find a course in his area. I swear to god it transforms your speech, by using breathing techniques and learning about what causes stammering in the first place.
I went into it with scepticism, as I'd tried Speech Therapists etc... to no avail, however this worked for me. On the first day, I couldnt even say my name and address or answer basic questions without stammerering wildly while they record this, and in front of an audience of Stammerers. However, on the third day, after intensive work, I was able to stand up in front of approx 500 people in the City centre of where the course took place, and say my name and a little bit about myself and how the course has helped. Something I will never forget! From that time, over the past 3 years or so, I have pushed my comfort zones and even though I have to practice for a bit in the mornings, I am able to lead a full life and talk to who I want without feeling as though something is holding me back!

Anyways, Im rambling lol

- Google...
- "McGuire Programme"...
- Good Luck!

David.

 

[Mr.Impeccible]

Washington, New York, & California are the only places where they hold meetings, though. Unfortunately, I live in South Carolina. I will see if I can get some help out of the free ebook he has on there though.

 

[Mr.Impeccible]

Thanks anyway.

 

[Jizzee]

In the U.K it is more widespread, nearly workshops in every city in the UK! I'm not going to ask about your financial situation or whatever, as its none of my business mate, but a trip to one of the courses in the mentioned cities would be the best thing. I had to travel over 400 miles for my first course, It wouldnt come to me, so I had to go to it.

Wish you all the best pal.