Stumped on arranging date (text exhange)

[grayclif]

I asked her a few days ago to go out for drinks after work. I specified the days available and time. 3 days and no reply so I checked back with "it'll be fun, no strings". Attached is the rest of the exchange...

I know she is interested but she is recently separated. I do think she is not sure. But Ive encountered situations like this before just not sure if it's next worthy.

 

[logicallefty]

Pretty good exchange there, but I wouldn't ask her again... Let her bring it up to you... If she doesn't, then you know her IL is low.

Here is what came to my mind if this had been me:
HB: Geesh, your blunt...
HB: lol
LL: I am a lot of things. Blunt might be one. Those that know say I'm the 2nd most interesting man in the world
HB: oh really? Well who is the most interesting man in the world if you are second?
LL: The guy in the beer commercial.. duh woman. Everyone knows that. lol

 

[exhausted]

Any woman interested doesnt have to think about having a freaking drink. Dont ask again it looks weak, move on, her loss.

 

[grayclif]

She got back to me today and says she really wants to go out but is not sure when. I say that's nice and I want to as well but can you propose a suitable date/time.

She says not sure about this week but next week for sure. So I say if your not sure when then let's just forget it.

I say it feels like I'm putting pressure on you forget I even mentioned the date.

Seconds later she says no pressure Thursday is good. But... I'm not just a drinks kind of girl I like to have dinner then go to sleep.

Lol lol.

A little flip script on her part. I feel like I'm being played.

 

[logicallefty]

But... I'm not just a drinks kind of girl I like to have dinner then go to sleep.

Lol lol.

A little flip script on her part. I feel like I'm being played.

Yes you are bing played.. Dinner and then sleep? hahahaha wow

Translation: "Ok I will give you the privilege of buying me dinner because that's one less dinner I have to buy for myself but there is no way I am having sex with you after"

Tell her "Sorry Thursday isn't going to work for me. Been good talking to ya. Take care".. Then go NC and be ghost.. NNNNneext....

 

[grayclif]

Lol I know. But she knows I'm into fitness and restaurant meals won't work for me. I'll suggest no meal and say "I'm not sure if I even really like you yet, so just drinks for now, maybe some coconut shrimp if you wear something sexy".

I'm not invested in the least but all this seems a nice little test. I see her about twice a week and she is constantly checking me out. Any input is welcome.

 

[amoka]

Lol I know. But she knows I'm into fitness and restaurant meals won't work for me. I'll suggest no meal and say "I'm not sure if I even really like you yet, so just drinks for now, maybe some coconut shrimp if you wear something sexy".

I'm not invested in the least but all this seems a nice little test. I see her about twice a week and she is constantly checking me out. Any input is welcome.

Great response

 

[dustmuffin]

I would cut out the coconut shrimp part. Either she wants to get to know you or she doesn't. If drinks aren't good enough for a first date then I would move along.

 

[Yewki]

Yes you are bing played.. Dinner and then sleep? hahahaha wow

Translation: "Ok I will give you the privilege of buying me dinner because that's one less dinner I have to buy for myself but there is no way I am having sex with you after"

Lmao... "dinner and sleep?"

That's the girl version now of "netflix and chill?"

 

[grayclif]

Update on date: We met for drinks at the bar of a local restaurant. I kept her laughing with fun conversation. Lots of kino too. I found out she is recently divorced/separated from a guy that was previously married. They also have a kid together. She is a professional but not overly ambitious.

She came straight from work. She looked good. Dressed well, very little makeup, nice jewelry, Coach bag and German luxury car keys placed prominently on the bar. Phone kept in her bag. HB7

My take away was that she didn't seem too experienced in dating. But we had lots of eye contact. Our legs touched under the bar and she kept it there for a lenghty time.

She mentioned that she was practicing celibacy and is waiting for the right person to enjoy sex with. Sounds ideal but good luck was my response. I changed the subject while holding her hand.

A few minutes later she mentioned she was feeling the drinks and if she had another I could convince her to go home with me. I said I don't need drinks for that. She blushed.

She made a few references to us continuing to see what happens with us. No kiss close because the parking lot was really open so I didn't try.

I am treating this whole thing as an experiment. A few gestions for the forum..
1. Perspective on dating women that are separated and not divorced. She lives with her mom and her 1 year old.
2. Who should text/call first after a date. I normally wait to hear back. I usually get a text back later that evening about how they had a nice time. I got no text. But she is not a phone/social media person. But still...
3. She did offer to pay half the bill. I said I appreciate you for offering but I asked you out. We can split the next one. Whats your opinion on accepting her offer to go dutch.

Thanks in advance.

 

[logicallefty]

You should have went for the kiss close. Then if she rejected the kiss, you reject her.. Ghost, NC, Next...Practicing celibacy? hahaha Unless a woman is a virgin and holding off until marriage that's the biggest line of bullsh|t a guy can hear... Did you ask her "So, your a virgin then?" I actually have railed virgins who were in their early 30s but let me tell you something its very rare (and not the best sex either IMO).. Unless she is a virgin never buy the celibacy cr@p, ever, ever, ever! I hope you know you are being played to the 1,000,000+ degree here. you do know that, right? I think you already do....

 

[Romjuan]

Yeah, I think it sounds like she might be using you for ego purposes. IF you meet up again you MUST go for kiss close. If she denies, its definatly ego and you move on.

 

[grayclif]

You should have went for the kiss close. Then if she rejected the kiss, you reject her.. Ghost, NC, Next...Practicing celibacy? hahaha Unless a woman is a virgin and holding off until marriage that's the biggest line of bullsh|t a guy can hear... Did you ask her "So, your a virgin then?" I actually have railed virgins who were in their early 30s but let me tell you something its very rare (and not the best sex either IMO).. Unless she is a virgin never buy the celibacy cr@p, ever, ever, ever! I hope you know you are being played to the 1,000,000+ degree here. you do know that, right? I think you already do....

Got you on the kiss close. Its very likely I'm being played that's why I'm laying it all out on here...

 

[RangerMIke]

1. Perspective on dating women that are separated and not divorced. She lives with her mom and her 1 year old.
2. Who should text/call first after a date. I normally wait to hear back. I usually get a text back later that evening about how they had a nice time. I got no text. But she is not a phone/social media person. But still...
3. She did offer to pay half the bill. I said I appreciate you for offering but I asked you out. We can split the next one. Whats your opinion on accepting her offer to go dutch.

Thanks in advance.

Sounds like it went well. I wouldn't worry about not getting the kiss at the end since I think it's obvious she likes you. And you knew sex wasn't going to happen that night.... Save the first kiss when to logistics for sex is better.

1. I wouldn't do it... her emotions are going to be all over the place, but it really depends on how long she was married, the nature of the breakup, and how much LTR experience she has. No real canned answer... sorry but it really depends on the woman. Living with her Mom and 1yo just means you are going to have to get her to go back to your place.

2. Call her if you want to... but just call to make a date. Try to plan something fun..bowling, putt-putt, or something active, like restaurant with a dance floor.

3. No problem... you handled it well. You invite her out you pay. I'm old school, unless she is asking you out or its a mutually agreed activity and UP FRONT she says she wants to pay her way, then assume you are paying. Offers to pay half after the fact really IMO are offered for politeness.

 

[Bokanovsky]

You should have ended it on "Ok I'm thinking about it!"

If she was interested in going out for drinks with you, there would be nothing to think about. Really, this is basic Female Mind Games 101 stuff. You have much to learn.