Stuck on oneitis hard

[commiefornia]

i know im gonna get alot brutal honesty for how crazy my situation is. Im halfway through the rational male and its phenomenal info. im very inexperienced for my age of 32. So i live with this 60 yo woman(kathy) whom i absolutely love unfortunately. i have wanted to **** kathy the second i saw her the first time when i was just 15. She is my best friends mom(i fckn know! not cool). 12 ish years down the road her bf get pinned for 17 years, i needed to move back into town for a better job and my buddy jim/her son suggested i moved in with her because she needed company she could trust and help around the house(hes 3k miles away). kathy is exactly what i want in any woman, she is active, fit, petite,blonde hair blues eyes, submissive and her ass looks better than alot of ladys my age. I HAVE TO **** HER! ill do anything and if im not successful in the next few months im vanishing from her life for the sake of my own mental health. im not trying to marry this old lady but trying to accomplish a goal for self confidence reasons, not to mention the half a decade of fantisies developed from staring at her amazing ass as a teenager. She will occasionally covertly give me signs or demonstrate interest, example: knee's up high/feet on the couch(no feet pointing to me but body facing my direction) and rubing the inside of her thigh slowly while talking to me and smiling, another night i was full of myself/****y making fun of her and making her laugh, then she pulled out the stupidest meme that didnt make sense but it read, 'tonights a great night to do something stooped', at that moment i didnt register that she may have been saving that to show me when she wanted me to move in. The first time i verbally told her that i was attracted to her and i wanted ****, she only said 'Nooo!, im an old lady!', then 'what about jim?, my afc self got flustered too quickly so i left to walk the dogs. i hadn't attempted anything for 2 years after that. Recently she has started talking about her friends son like she was close to him and they been spending time together, she very well could be ****ing this guy thats my age and the thought kills me. But i took this behavior as trying to get me to make a move via competition anxiety, not trying to ease me into the idea shes got a young guy already (a real possibility), so i went for it again...verbally like a btch, this time her response was that she viewed me as a son, that she wasnt attracted to me and she was in a relationship (i assumed she meant her prison daddy and like a plugged afc i did not ask who this guy was). The next mornnig, i said you think i only like you when im drunk huh? she said yes and i replied 'hell no thats not true'. im feeling at a complete loss at this point so i say 'you know where my rooms at all you gotta do is knock for a good time'. She just nodded her head no. theres tons more examples and info but im already writing a novel about it. i almost ****ed her daughter after she kissed me on the 4th of july weekend but shes my age (gross), has 2 kids with her and does some kind of hard drug so i turned her down, the morning after i walked out my room to piss and kathy stared at me harder then evr from the first floor, no idea what that meant but seemed significant. At the moment im pulling back not spending any alone time with here and just focusing on some career improvements and occasionally going out trying to not pick up but just get practice talking to women and men as im pretty introverted and want to change that and meet new people. theres tons more examples and info but im already writing a novel about it. i feel im in too deep emotionally and not unplugged enough. So please ask what you will think lead me to any sort of improvement.

 

[Gamisch]

My man. I'll keep it simple.

- At 32(prime) you're after a 60 y.o
- you trying to sell yourself a dream.
-This is how junkies think. They'll pedestalize a substance and tell themselves that they cannot live without it.
-you shouldn't poop where you eat. Even if this was a 25y.o insta model I'd say the same thing.
- you gotta COMPLETELY reframe yourself. Make a new thread called" how does a 32 y.o man without experience reframes himself?"
- you are what you believe you are.

I do like your persistence, but it's used in the wrong scenario. Seduction through words might work, but only when there's (duhhh) already physical attraction. I completely understand her response .

-use this persistence on other women
- apologize to her because you dont wanna lose your house.
- even when you get her it wont be as great as you think.
-but the biggest issues will arise AFTER things go south, one pulls back, she still be fecking other dudes besides you ect.


ABORT MISSION NOW!!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You have problems bro, and I don't think anyone on this board can help you. Go get professional help.

 

[commiefornia]

You have problems bro, and I don't think anyone on this board can help you. Go get professional help.

because of the age difference? i know its a problem but counselling really?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

because of the age difference? i know its a problem but counselling really?

Yes because of your obsession about it. That's not healthy. You sound like a degenerate the way you talk about it. Similar to a junkie trying to get a fix.

Not trying to put you down or diss you, just telling you the way you come across via that post.

 

[commiefornia]

My man. I'll keep it simple.

- At 32(prime) you're after a 60 y.o
- you trying to sell yourself a dream.
-This is how junkies think. They'll pedestalize a substance and tell themselves that they cannot live without it.
-you shouldn't poop where you eat. Even if this was a 25y.o insta model I'd say the same thing.
- you gotta COMPLETELY reframe yourself. Make a new thread called" how does a 32 y.o man without experience reframes himself?"
- you are what you believe you are.

I do like your persistence, but it's used in the wrong scenario. Seduction through words might work, but only when there's (duhhh) already physical attraction. I completely understand her response .

-use this persistence on other women
- apologize to her because you dont wanna lose your house.
- even when you get her it wont be as great as you think.
-but the biggest issues will arise AFTER things go south, one pulls back, she still be fecking other dudes besides you ect.


ABORT MISSION NOW!!

this is pretty sound advice and i definetly dont want to move as the rent is cheap af. im just gonna keep reading and trying to reframe. keep my distance and cut off all activities with this woman. we have been doing alot together lately and it feels like a mistake for sure. also her son is aware of my attraction to his mom. Also are relationship is not negative or hostile at all. i explained its fine she doesent want to **** me and ill get over it.
thanks bro!

 

[commiefornia]

Yes because of your obsession about it. That's not healthy. You sound like a degenerate the way you talk about it. Similar to a junkie trying to get a fix.

Not trying to put you down or diss you, just telling you the way you come across via that post.

your good dude thanks for the honesty its what i need. im not into therapy after trying a few sessions. Your definetly not wrong about the junkie looking for a fix part, i would have never put those words together myself but that definetly opened my eyes

 

[Gamisch]

this is pretty sound advice and i definetly dont want to move as the rent is cheap af. im just gonna keep reading and trying to reframe. keep my distance and cut off all activities with this woman. we have been doing alot together lately and it feels like a mistake for sure. also her son is aware of my attraction to his mom. Also are relationship is not negative or hostile at all. i explained its fine she doesent want to **** me and ill get over it.
thanks bro!

Telling a woman you are attracted to her isn't that bad. But yeah, the cheap rent in these times..that should be enough motivation to think with your head rather than your D.

Even though I am an advocate for being unapologetic, in this case I'd definitely apologize and move on.

 

[Gamisch]

your good dude thanks for the honesty its what i need. im not into therapy after trying a few sessions. Your definetly not wrong about the junkie looking for a fix part, i would have never put those words together myself but that definetly opened my eyes

Lets say you had a normal upbringing with two loyal dedicated parents. At best you've developed these mental health issues in your teens. Meaning at least half your life you're walking around with these issues.

One can't expect that a few sessions will fix this. Before you judge whether therapy works for you or not you must go through it AT LEAST a full year,AND apply selfstudy with that. Its the same as with physical therapy. In a 30 minute session he'll check how it's going, and advice you what exercises to do AT HOME. Can't expect thing will get better if you only work on the issues once a week for 30 minutes. Gotta be at it everyday.

Your post(with all due respect) screams the need of therapy.

 

[Dr.Suave]

i know im gonna get alot brutal honesty for how crazy my situation is. Im halfway through the rational male and its phenomenal info. im very inexperienced for my age of 32. So i live with this 60 yo woman(kathy) whom i absolutely love unfortunately. i have wanted to **** kathy the second i saw her the first time when i was just 15. She is my best friends mom(i fckn know! not cool). 12 ish years down the road her bf get pinned for 17 years, i needed to move back into town for a better job and my buddy jim/her son suggested i moved in with her because she needed company she could trust and help around the house(hes 3k miles away). kathy is exactly what i want in any woman, she is active, fit, petite,blonde hair blues eyes, submissive and her ass looks better than alot of ladys my age. I HAVE TO **** HER! ill do anything and if im not successful in the next few months im vanishing from her life for the sake of my own mental health. im not trying to marry this old lady but trying to accomplish a goal for self confidence reasons, not to mention the half a decade of fantisies developed from staring at her amazing ass as a teenager. She will occasionally covertly give me signs or demonstrate interest, example: knee's up high/feet on the couch(no feet pointing to me but body facing my direction) and rubing the inside of her thigh slowly while talking to me and smiling, another night i was full of myself/****y making fun of her and making her laugh, then she pulled out the stupidest meme that didnt make sense but it read, 'tonights a great night to do something stooped', at that moment i didnt register that she may have been saving that to show me when she wanted me to move in. The first time i verbally told her that i was attracted to her and i wanted ****, she only said 'Nooo!, im an old lady!', then 'what about jim?, my afc self got flustered too quickly so i left to walk the dogs. i hadn't attempted anything for 2 years after that. Recently she has started talking about her friends son like she was close to him and they been spending time together, she very well could be ****ing this guy thats my age and the thought kills me. But i took this behavior as trying to get me to make a move via competition anxiety, not trying to ease me into the idea shes got a young guy already (a real possibility), so i went for it again...verbally like a btch, this time her response was that she viewed me as a son, that she wasnt attracted to me and she was in a relationship (i assumed she meant her prison daddy and like a plugged afc i did not ask who this guy was). The next mornnig, i said you think i only like you when im drunk huh? she said yes and i replied 'hell no thats not true'. im feeling at a complete loss at this point so i say 'you know where my rooms at all you gotta do is knock for a good time'. She just nodded her head no. theres tons more examples and info but im already writing a novel about it. i almost ****ed her daughter after she kissed me on the 4th of july weekend but shes my age (gross), has 2 kids with her and does some kind of hard drug so i turned her down, the morning after i walked out my room to piss and kathy stared at me harder then evr from the first floor, no idea what that meant but seemed significant. At the moment im pulling back not spending any alone time with here and just focusing on some career improvements and occasionally going out trying to not pick up but just get practice talking to women and men as im pretty introverted and want to change that and meet new people. theres tons more examples and info but im already writing a novel about it. i feel im in too deep emotionally and not unplugged enough. So please ask what you will think lead me to any sort of improvement.

Go to therapy asap. And next time please separate your wall of text into actual paragraphs.

 

[bmp2cpm]

The only scenario when it is ok to try sleeping with an older women who you fantasized about when when you were a young teen is WHEN you have access to a time machine.

If you do not have access to a time machine then you need years or therapy.

If you do have access to a time machine then you should select some of us from this forum to be your wingman when you travel in time.

 

[commiefornia]

Go to therapy asap. And next time please separate your wall of text into actual paragraphs.

idk even know what you mean by wall of text but im typing on a computer for the first time in like 10 years i thought i did pretty good. and i found a therapist i will call hime today if hes availible. This is not what i was expecting but i ill trust your complete strangers and spend a fug ton of money on therapy. its EXPENSIVE.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

The first time i verbally told her that i was attracted to her and i wanted ****, she only said 'Nooo!, im an old lady!',

See, women are smarter than a lot of Sosuavers give them credit for...you shoulda listened to her, lol.

 

[CornbreadFed]

lol and y'all think the wall is going to punish women

 

[commiefornia]

Go to therapy asap. And next time please separate your wall of text into actual paragraphs.
[/QUOTE

See, women are smarter than a lot of Sosuavers give them credit for...you shoulda listened to her, lol.

The problem i had was wishfull thinking, i was seeing things that werent there because i was afraid to be denied. Im just gonna keep pushing myself to learn more. And probably move out ive been there too long anyways.

 

[Gamisch]

I would not do that. Old ladies flirt with me all the fcking time. His game needs work.
Some of you guys and your moral rally show. Smh.

Did yiu read the OP? Its not just any other old woman, its basically his surrogate mother for christ sake.

You wouldn't apologize when;
- she's twice your age
- she's your mom's best friend
-She provides you shelter
--cheap rent
- her son is basically like family?
- let you down easy

You'd still be unapologetic? Call it morals if you like,to me its common sense and its yet another thing no man can live without. Kinda pointless being a hardazz homeless man because some strangers on a forum told you be the Terminator at all time and "never show emotions".

This case is beyond fecking her or not. If she, or her son, start contemplating kicking him out this is rather about basic survival than just adding another( very questionable) notch to your count.



Y

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP:

It would be easier to read your posts if you separated things into paragraphs, like 3-4 sentences that are related, separated by a line.

The other thing would be capitalizing the first letter of the first word of each sentence.

idk even know what you mean by wall of text but im typing on a computer for the first time in like 10 years i thought i did pretty good. and i found a therapist i will call hime today if hes availible. This is not what i was expecting but i ill trust your complete strangers and spend a fug ton of money on therapy. its EXPENSIVE.

 

[commiefornia]

OP dont listen to that advice. Theres nothing wrong with you. Hitting on this woman is complely normal. Not my type but I have seen worse.
I know 2 guys including me who have hot cousins we would nail. We actually joke about it sometimes.

The problem is your game sucks. Next time she says that son line be playful with it. "We can play house" or something.
Shes making you shame as a ****t test dont fall for it. Own your dik.

Back off her a little work on your game. Keep it legal and have fun. You got a fantasy kink and theres nothing wrong with that. Just dont let it rule your life.
Me and zn ex gf used to frequent strip clubs and a few times went to adult clubs and there were literally some 70 80 yr old couples in them.
Confidence is your key

Shes flirted with me plenty dressed up alot for me, i did go wrong somewhere (to emotionally invested likely). However i do feel a litte obsessive and like im overthinking little things. Im just gonna move on, after all shes old. And i do need therapy lol my childhood sucked big time.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Hehe back when you had a chance, one of those nights when you were drinking together on the couch you should’ve gone commando in loose shorts and let her see your enthusiasm (of course provided you’re in good shape and not cursed in that dept).

Anyway the ship has sailed young Luke.

 

[commiefornia]

Did yiu read the OP? Its not just any other old woman, its basically his surrogate mother for christ sake.

You wouldn't apologize when;
- she's twice your age
- she's your mom's best friend
-She provides you shelter
--cheap rent
- her son is basically like family?
- let you down easy

You'd still be unapologetic? Call it morals if you like,to me its common sense and its yet another thing no man can live without. Kinda pointless being a hardazz homeless man because some strangers on a forum told you be the Terminator at all time and "never show emotions".

This case is beyond fecking her or not. If she, or her son, start contemplating kicking him out this is rather about basic survival than just adding another( very questionable) notch to your count.



Y

*best friends mom, and i provide plenty of work around here to earn the cheap rent. not to mention the free dog walking, dinner cooking, and security. I have plenty of options for living and make enough money for that matter. Also we were never close when i was young. When she said she sees me as a son, thats when i lost hope and came here. but yea its fugged for sure, ill probably move out in a few months. i should be sharing a house with other DJ's anyways not old ladys that use me for my desire to bang them.