Stuck In A Rut

[SingleGuy4Ever]

Help!! I seem to have spent the last 10 years of my life playing the "funny nice guy", I've had zero (i mean ZERO) luck with women. The last time i had sex i was 16 (i'm now 27!!). Let me get into more detail. I moved to my current home when i was 16 i had left school and was unemployed. I had no friends from the age of 16 to 20 so i just sat around the house and got nice and fat!. When i did manage to find some mates i seem to be stuck in the "friends before fvck" syndrome . It's like i feel trying it on would be "rude" and that if "she" was interested she would let me know!. So i seem to be spending my time being the "nice guy" and watching all my friends getting the women i want and rubbing my face in it!. My question is how can i get women to see me as a sexual person rather than just an emotional tampon?. It seems that all women want me for is to listen to all there problems and use me as a guy to flirt with until the "real men" get here. I guess most of the problems seem to stem from my own self confidence (or lack of) I feel that most women see me as just another guy friend (i've even had a few women hint that i'm gay!).

So then Don's how can i get my mojo back?

 

[I-am-someone]

Step 1:
Read the Don Juan Bible. The link is at the top of every page. Make sure you read Weapons of Mass Seduction as well as the posts by Pook. There is a LOT more info in the rest of those threads as well though, you should keep on reading until you're done. Let me just state that every minute you spend reading that will affect you positively for the rest of your life.

Step 2:
Start working the fvck out. Get a new haircut, change your clothing, change yourself for the better. You will become a DJ, we have all done it on here. However, a change in personality is always hard for yourself and for your environment to accept. Changing your outer appearance will make the transition a bit easier .

You're 27. Be glad, you're still relatively young. There's plenty of fun things ahead of you!

 

[SingleGuy4Ever]

Thanks for your reply. I've been lurking here for a while and have found lots of good advice it just seems that i never get the chance to use it!. It seems like no sooner than meeting women i'm instantly into the "friendzone". I seem to be the guy that most women just want to "flirt for fun" with and as soon as something better comes along i get dropped like a bad habit or get there latest "conquest" rubbed in my face. I've begun to work out so i'm not as fat as i used to be but i can't seem to shake my nice guy image, i can flirt for england but it's like none of it seems to make a difference i just get used to inflate there female egos.

 

[I-am-someone]

Okay, this seems to be something that happens to more people that come on here. It doesn't so much have to do with talent or skills, it has to do with the way you view yourself.

A lot of people first came on here and were in a similar situation as you. Their image of theirselves had solidified to the image of either someone who was unable to get women, someone who always went into the friend zone or someone who was never able to stay in a relationship.
Many of those people came here, looking for an answer. They read all these articles and tried to apply them to their life around them. These people often did not find success using these techniques and went back to their old self, or they decided to keep on trying because apparently it was working for others, but up until now, most of these people still haven't figured it out.
Then, there's the other group of people. These are the guys that read all those articles and realised "That is who I want to be! That is who I should be!", then they went to bed and the next day they found themselves to BE that Don Juan. They walked around with an entirely new attitude towards life, ****y, funny, successful.
Ofcourse, it wasn't always quite that easy. It takes a while to really become the DJ, but the more they identified their own personality with that of the DJ, the more success they got with women.

Notice the difference between the two groups? One group of people tries to act out the things they read on here on the outside. They desperatly seek to improve, but they attempt to do so through willpower. These guys however, still see themselves as they were before they came onto this site. They still have the same identity. Their personality does not change, their outer actions change.
The other group however reaches deep inside of themselves and changes their identity to become the DJ. They do not try to act the way they read that DJ's act, but become a DJ instead.

If you truly wish to grasp what is being taught on here, you need to take it into your own personality. It's a great experience to do this and to show it to the world, trust me ... people will view you differently because you view yourself differently.
This is also why I suggested a change in appearance by the way. It facilitates the process for the rest of the world as well as yourself. It's not essential though, if you're DJ enough your entire posture will change and people will notice no matter what

 

[sapphire]

Good point. It is called inner game. Without it, you can't possibly be a true DJ.

Go read Player Supreme's thread on INNER GAME in the mature section. It explains the concept and how it relates to and interacts with OUTERGAME, which is what you learn from this site. Inner game is something within you that we cannot teach.

 

[Nocturnal]

Discussion

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by I-am-someone

You're 27. Be glad, you're still relatively young. There's plenty of fun things ahead of you!

Sh1t, I must have a foot in the grave already.

 

[jean laurent]

No way Franky! I plan to be at my absolute DJ peak when I get to your age (which is still a few years away, but if how quickly time passed the last few years is any indication, I'll be there sooner than I think). You haven't even one foot in the car to drive to the cemetary, let alone one in the grave.

 

[SpeedRunner]

October 2004 - Learned I was AFC

Febuary 2005 - Im about 3/4 DJ

im so proud of myself