Struggling to maintain NC

[Firedweller]

I have unfortunately had three nights of dreams about my ex in a row shortly after seeing her cousin the other day. I had maintained NC for a couple of weeks and it seemed to be getting easier but I feel like I'm losing control now.

She is in my head almost 24/7 and now since having dreams with her in it which are vivid and long, I wake up with no rest from this all. I know the common advice is to spin plates and self improve and I am doing the latter. I just got a pay rise and also been going to the gym often but I am over the spinning plates business right now. I did it a lot over a year ago but it felt very unfulfilling in the longer run. I see the girls I slept with every now and again and it makes me feel shallow.

I was about to text my ex right now but instead I am writing here. The sh1t thing is the reason why I broke up with her was because of her racist father and because she's so attached to him, there was no point of a relationship unless she bypassed him.

 

[Receptacle Filler]

Dude, I don't trust women that are that close to Daddy...It's time to get up and motor. Don't try to meet any other bishes, just focus on weaning off her like she a drug. Beating off a lot helps.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Dude, I don't trust women that are that close to Daddy....

What are you suggesting here? I only ask as a common BPD trait is parent issues.

 

[Octogonal]

Lose your phone for a while when you get the urge to call.

Dude, I don't trust women that are that close to Daddy...It's time to get up and motor. Don't try to meet any other bishes, just focus on weaning off her like she a drug. Beating off a lot helps.

WTF? Worst advice ever.

 

[hop On hop Off]

How much does she like you? What have you guys done? How much is she attached to you? What do you want deep inside?

If you NEXT every time your relationship hits a roadblock, you are actually taking the easy way out. Perhaps all it takes is someone to reach out first. NEXT is also fine, because it prevents you from being the slightest AFC.

Nothing is impossible. You can keep on chasing her, and she eventually will be "touched" one day, just one day. Meanwhile, you are vulnerable, and her MV goes up, and that's bad.

So, it is up to you. Do you want to leave yourself vulnerable, possibly seen as AFC in her eyes, or do you want to hold that chin and find someone who likes you equally?

 

[Firedweller]

I broke NC. I had so much pent up inside as I went from being in a close relationship to ending it on one day from a decision she didn't make on the spot. I stick by that action even though I feel that I may have ended it based on too much emotion rather then letting it sink in for a bit and making a better approach.

I messaged her with a picture she took of a us. She replied instantly saying "there hasn't been a day when I haven't thought about you. I never forgot you."

So, what to do from here? I rang her the night I broke NC and she was bubbling with joy but the fact remains, her father is still a huge racist and we aren't 'together'.

I know many of you will see this as a bad move but if I want to have the best shot at making this happen, how should I approach?