Struggling to find my ikigai

[Bizzle13]

For those who don't know the ikigai is a Japanese concept, their 'reason for being', though I first encountered it when writing a paper on the Okinawans who loosely translate it to their 'reason for getting up in the morning'. Lately I've been really struggling finding areas on to get up in the morning.

I'm not depressed (I don't think lol) or even down, I'm just bored and uninspired by everything. It's not constantly like this, sometimes I feel pumped and ready to take on the world. But most mornings I find myself thinking 'what's the point', you know?

Reasons for this might include a number of things but most of them I'm on the path to recovery:
Work: I've been working an easy but uninspiring job that I've grown to dislike although next Tuesday I start a new job that looks awesome, almost too good to be true, and I'm really excited about it. It can't come quick enough.

Girls: Prior to the summer I had 5 different fb's I could see or chat sh!t to at any time, each one of them has fizzled out and most are now in 'serious' relationships. I don't mind as they were there for sex or support. I had a summer fling and perhaps got a little too involved, she's moved back home and is promiscuous as ever and I've realised my mistake - she's on a sl*t rampage and that's that. I'm not as bothered about girls right now as I've got other **** on my plate, they are now secondary in my life.

Hobbies: Had none, going to an American Football (I'm English) open day next month (still don't totally understand the rules so advice on that would be appreciated too haha) and gonna look in to pilates/yoga and some form of dance as well as rejoining the gym once money is less of an issue.

Now for the sh!t I don't have under control:
Money: As I said I start my new job next week and then hopefully the better wage will aid this problem but right now I'm broke, can't afford the rent and bills this month as my car broke and I had to take care of that (couldn't work because I needed the car). Once this job starts I should be able to start paying off debts but I need to be more careful/smart with my money in the future.

Long term goals: Career-wise I've just finished a degree and have no idea what I plan to do long term. I've got a few ideas of things I may try but nothing stands out, I'm mid-twenties now and just don't want to wake up one morning and realise I didn't do what I should have.

Friends: In school I was the king, I knew everyone and everything went through me. Adulthood has been a major shock to the system, you become a small fish in a big pond and your friends move on and do their own thing. Right now I feel like I don't have someone I can talk to, I've got plenty of people I can have a drink with or play pool but no one who'd have any interest in listening to my sh!t and helping me out. Plus my housemate does well to p!ss me off pretty often lol right now I feel like I could really do with a mentor you know? A fountain of knowledge to learn from, to turn to, to guide me and to inspire me. Anyone know anyone? Haha

Anyway sorry for the major post just wondered if anyone had any similar experiences or advice to give. Most of my life I've found myself saying 'when I get this (x, y or z) everything will fall in to place' and now it's the same. Just a bit strange. Thanks again

Bizzle

 

[BraddH]

"When you get everything, the only thing left to do is suicide." This is a good example of why paradise must be hell.

Now what to do? Either commit suicide or go on, searching! Eventually you will find something. But never forget that that something will eventually end again.

 

[switch]

bizzle, i had the same problem regarding purpose in life.i searched for quiet a while,i thougt college would be the way,during college i thougt graduation and work would be it.nope.come graduation and i thought a wife would be it..i took the redpill and found out that a girl wont fill my life either.
It was a shock to my system.here i was,in my 20s and everything i knew was a lie.most men are fortunate or rather unfortunate to face this phase in their 50s or 60s.

I searched for an entire year and found the answer in a chinese poem:
There is no answer.
This means that not everyone will have the same purpose.tha american dream is BS bcuz u cant have a "one fits all" dream.life aint a t-shirt.
Taoist sages have an old saying : the tao that can be spoken of is not the tao"
Nobody can point the way for you.stop listening to the tv, radio,pastor etc.

You have to find your way by yourself.how do u do that? By facing ur fear.
Fear in this context means ur biggest fear.once you overcome that,youll find your way.
Also fvck yoga. Do some chi kung.

 

[Bizzle13]

Thanks for the replies guys

Brad, that's morbid but true haha I don't want everything, never have. All I need is to avoid worry/stress and test myself every day. The simplest way to achieve this is money. My new job is the first step, maybe that's my ikigai - a week today I should begin to know whether or not it is. Who doesn't dream of the simple life full of possibilities.

Switch thank you, I've been looking in to eastern spirituality and philosophy lately. I've always wanted to go travelling, and would live to experience their culture - maybe my fear is to actually do what I want to do ie. travel, I always seem to make excuses and reasons not to do it (for now). Love the 'life is not a t-shirt quote, the start of this month has been so difficult and confusing but by the end of the month everything should be much more straightforward - work, hobbies, friends, money etc My ikigai needs to be striving to make life easy while testing myself and remembering to enjoy the simple things. This forum has helped me massively in many aspects but mainly how much I've realised women are simply an extension of our lives, not the focus of it. I'm not bothered about women anymore (one less source of unneeded stress) and that has massively depedestalized them, I can talk to anyone now.

Simply put I've realised the focus must be on me, what I want and need and only loved ones will enter that circle. Everyone must prove to me why they should be trusted within my circle. Work, money, hobbies, fun, family (including friends).

Thanks again guys.

Bizzle