Sideways- you seem like you are falling very fast and its clouding your vision. Times of hardship often draw unfamiliar people together, but it rarely lasts when life gets back to normal. Our minds dond't allow us to think clearly in times like this.
You don't last very long in the titty bar business with a "heart of gold". Girls with hearts of gold aren't tough enough to last very long and get taken advantage of. Putting on a happy face every night while trying to entertain a bunch of men sticking their fingers in your coochie becomes a very tough job day in and day out when you aren't medicated with drugs/alcohol. If this girl has been dancing for a few years and its her main job, she is a very good actor and her intentions are likely not genuine. she will come with a bunch of issues. Girls that come on fast even leave faster. Its the emotional feeling of the day that draws them near. Your story obvisouly triggered some emotions in her.
I've spent a lot of time in strip clubs over the years. Dated my fair share of strippers. Had a lot of good times with them, but the truth is most of them are damaged goods. You ask what you should do???? Just proceed slowly and take it all like you just don't care. You aren't the first guy this girl has connected to and put her number in some dudes phone.
If you really want to date this girl, then play your cards close. When you show up at the club next, interact with the other girls like this girl was nothing different. Let her work for your approval. Let it be known that you are just there to blow off some steam and enjoy life. Dont come across as the rest of the horndogs that get mad because they don't get any play after they've blown $100 on lap dances. I never spent more than $10-15 and seduced many of them. After about 3-4 visits, ask her to meet you some where.