Stressed out over college party. Help!

[Yoson]

The party I'm going to will be this saturday, but I'm really worried about making an ass out of myself. I'm already so inexperienced in just approaching girls, how am I gonna succeed at a party?(btw, ive done 2 for 2 on successful cold pick ups, but thats probably because of my looks. I am your typical afc, who gets by with attractivness I guess )

Anyways, with the help of the DJ Bible I have improved my social skills, but i'm kinda clueless on how I'm supposed to interact with ppl at a party. Like, I need step by step detailed instructions or something . I wanna know what i should be saying or doing right from when i step in the door! Also I've really never danced before, so will i be able to avoid this the first time around? My main goal is just to meet new ppl and get a social life for a change and not embarrass myself.

My life is in your hands, save me.

 

[hjsknksbm]

How does an alcoholic stop drinking? How does a smoker stop smoking? Just do it. It's that simple. The more you analyse this the worse off you are. As far as what to say just use the sample conversation openers in the DJB. No one can give you balls, it has to come within.

 

[Yoson]

Hey fellas, I know its only been an hour and a half, but where are the DJ's at? If you only have a few tips, i would greatly appriecate it. I want to start preparing for this **** now. Cuz when you guys go off tonight, i will still be here without a social life, so throw tip my way or something. peace.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

what college is this party at btw?

 

[Yoson]

Originally posted by Mr. Delicious
what college is this party at btw?

Its at SMU. Why? does that changes things?

 

[aolsuxs]

Dude... chill. Seriously, your stressing over a party. What are you a girl on prom night. Maybe have a few drinks...not too many and just mingle with people and jus have fun and not worry about making an ass outof your self, there is not "step to step" guide to have fun at a party

 

[CaptainObvious#1]

Who the **** prepares for this kind of stuff? It's a damn party, you go to have fun. Haven't you been to a party before or something? And why would you want a step by step process? That's the most AFC thing you could ever do in my mind. You want to be a DJ? Do it yourself.

 

[Yoson]

Originally posted by aolsuxs
Dude... chill. Seriously, your stressing over a party. What are you a girl on prom night. Maybe have a few drinks...not too many and just mingle with people and jus have fun and not worry about making an ass outof your self, there is not "step to step" guide to have fun at a party

Ok, your right, i am over stressing this. But i just want to be prepared thats all. For example: What do you guys say to get girls to dance with you? (i rather not dance at all and just socialize. i think thats what i'm obessing over.)

 

[Yoson]

Originally posted by Yoson
Ok, your right, i am over stressing this. But i just want to be prepared thats all. For example: What do you guys say to get girls to dance with you? (i rather not dance at all and just socialize. i think thats what i'm obessing over.)

CaptainObvious#1 , sadly i havent been to a party before. Ive been a loner for most of my life, but in the last few months i'm starting to figure this s*** out. Once I get past this party thing, you shouldnt hear anymore stupid questions from me probably.

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

No Dramas

Ok, fair enough, i know what you mean...
Ok, number one- dont drink alcohol before the party and if you decide to drink, dont drink too much...

Read this- http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20096

Leave the house with a good mood.. Dress nicely (i.e. denim jeans, buttoned shirt, gel your hair, cologne.. talk to urself in the mirror for a bit just to practice things to say)... can u bring a friend along with u? when u get to the party, just relax and dont ask too many questions... if you see a girl you know tell her she looks beautiful, if u see a guy u know, tell him he's lokoing nice- it will make them want to stick with u.. just act cool (you seem like a cool guy)... and dont stress, even if you dont pickup.. who cares? just one party... Mate, if you are infact goodlooking, you'll be surprised how nice the people will be to u... goodluck,
Don't give a ****,
And post us a field report,
Irresistible.

 

[Big Pappy]

party time!

Hey, relax. Take a deep breath. First, it would be helpful if I knew what kind of party it is? How were you invited? Who else will be there? Parties at SMU are likely to vary. Given the date, perhaps it's a Halloween party.

In my younger days, I, too, was uncomfortable at parties. If you don't know the people, how will you know what to say or talk about? Everyone that has ever been to a college mixer has asked themselves similar questions.

Lucky for you, the internet can help you.

I could write you a script, but that would be useless. The objective of this site is to provide EMPOWERMENT. Use the tools and tips and you will succeed. You may not succeed at this party, but you will be laying a framework for future success.

Now, here's a way to use one of the tenets of behavioral- stimuli response. Some parties are a blast. However, not everybody enjoys a party. Some are desgnated drivers, some are new to the area and only know one or two other people at the party.

You should be astute enough to see who's not having a great time. Before you go to the party, figure out where you're going to go after the party! The after party is critical, I think. If the honey's not having a good time, you walk up, introduce yourself, and ask her if she's having as much fun as you are. This is a simple yes or no question. So, you know you'll have to have a response for each possible outcome. If she's into you, and fairly clever, she'll ask you how much fun you're having.

If she says no, commisserate. Tell her that it's not as much fun as you thought it would be, but tell her that you think that "we" should be part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
(Here's where you have to have done your homework. Tell a funny joke, or tell a horrible joke in a funny way. Do a magic trick.
Tell her a scary story if you can actually pull it off.)

If she says yes, you'll have to ask yourself if this girl is lying to you, or did you mis interpret her nonverbal cues. (Why was she sitting down doing nothing? Why the long face? etc..)

Watch your alcohol consumption. If you're drunk, you're really going to make it difficult for a decent girl to justify chasing you.

Rule #1. Do not talk to any girls for the first hour of the party. At all, period, unless they talk to you first. If you're introduced, smile big, and picture them dressed in sweat pants and a dirty t-shirt.

Why? First, you never know who else is going to show up. No sense mustering up your courage to talk to some honey, only to discover that there are three more honeys much sweeter that have arrived.

Best of luck,
Big Pappy

 

[Yoson]

Re: party time!

Thanks for the replies fellas. There are only two things that i am unsure about. When i approach a girl at the party, what topics should i bring up? when i did my few pickups at school, i would talk about school related stuff. Second thing is dancing. Ive never danced with a girl, but i can probably wing it(i hope ). But what do in order to start dancing with a girl. As i said earlier, if i can avoid dancing, i will. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

Originally posted by Big Pappy
Hey, relax. Take a deep breath. First, it would be helpful if I knew what kind of party it is? How were you invited? Who else will be there? Parties at SMU are likely to vary. Given the date, perhaps it's a Halloween party.

Big Pappy

yeah, its a halloween party, but no one is dressing up really. I was invited by a friend of mine. And i will probably only know 2 ppl there. One of them is the person i going there with.

 

[Big Pappy]

halloween party

I'd guess they're not dressing up because the party is a day after Halloween.

If I were you, I'd dress up anyway. Show 'em how much fun you are. Be fun! Watch a good comedy show on video or DVD before the party.

Best of luck.

 

[E-Z Rider]

You're worried b/c you feel pressured. Pressured to pick up chicks. You're like, "If I don't get x number of phone #'s, this whole night was a waste".

NO!! that's not it, man. There is another word for this pressure you feel, most call it desperation. And it reeks. You have to get rid of it, and you do that by taking the prssure off.

Why do you need to get #'s at this party? Ask yourself that. Why do you NEED to get these #'s?

I say, just go to the party with an attitude of "whatever happens happens, it's all for a good time". If you're trying to work on your skills (understandable), then say "I'm going to do a couple of approaches, and if I hook up, fine, if not, I'll still have fun chillin."

If you don't party much, then I'd advise not drinking a whole lot. Maybe 5-6 beers or shots. Not much, but you get to the point where you don't give a damn and you have a good feeling, not a "woah I can;t stand up" feeling. And you're less liekly to make an asshat out of yourself at a party where you don't know many people.

Other than that...there's not much I can TELL you. Having fun at a party is like riding a bicycle kinda, it can't really be explained to you, just gotta do it. And once you know how, you just KNOW.

And just chill out about the chicks, they aren't that important. Nothing wrong with talking to them or practicing on them. The imprtant thing is to have fun. Once you have fun and learn to enjoy yourself, then chicks can become a little more important.

Good luck- E-Z

 

[Yoson]

Originally posted by E-Z Rider
You're worried b/c you feel pressured. Pressured to pick up chicks. You're like, "If I don't get x number of phone #'s, this whole night was a waste".

NO!! that's not it, man. There is another word for this pressure you feel, most call it desperation. And it reeks. You have to get rid of it, and you do that by taking the prssure off.

Why do you need to get #'s at this party? Ask yourself that. Why do you NEED to get these #'s?

I say, just go to the party with an attitude of "whatever happens happens, it's all for a good time". If you're trying to work on your skills (understandable), then say "I'm going to do a couple of approaches, and if I hook up, fine, if not, I'll still have fun chillin."

If you don't party much, then I'd advise not drinking a whole lot. Maybe 5-6 beers or shots. Not much, but you get to the point where you don't give a damn and you have a good feeling, not a "woah I can;t stand up" feeling. And you're less liekly to make an asshat out of yourself at a party where you don't know many people.

Other than that...there's not much I can TELL you. Having fun at a party is like riding a bicycle kinda, it can't really be explained to you, just gotta do it. And once you know how, you just KNOW.

And just chill out about the chicks, they aren't that important. Nothing wrong with talking to them or practicing on them. The imprtant thing is to have fun. Once you have fun and learn to enjoy yourself, then chicks can become a little more important.

Good luck- E-Z

Thanks for your reply man. I'm actually feeling alot better about it now. The last thing is just the dancing part. Is there alot dancing at college parties or not? I really just want to socialize, do a few approaches, make some new friends. And i would consider it a successful night. My goal really is to just make new friends. peace.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Dancing at college parties...yeah there are usually people dancing, and people hanging out. How much of which depends on the type of party.

But nothin to get stressed out abt. It basically amounts to drunken swaying and groping (kinda cool). No real skill needed. It's mostly that bump-n-grind freak dancing stuff, which ain't hard for guys to do. I even went to a frat party where they had a country band play, and everyone danced like that. Everyone's drunk so they don't really care, and don't have much inhibitions.

Trust me, you won't see anybody ballroom dancing at a college party.

It's good that you're feeling better about it now. Just have a great time. There's nothing to worry about.

Later- E-Z

 

[killerasp]

okay dude. im gonna give you some advice coming from a reborn newbie to college parties.

the last 3 months have been the best time of my life...the parties...the random women, the random hookups. its been FANTASTIC.

im going to give you some advice that worked perfect for me.

go with some of your friends. dont go alone. it will not get any better if you go alone. bring some girls, bring some guys, the more the merrier.

At the bar last week i randomly met a girl that a friend knew. i did the usual intro and talked with her for about 15 mins, i had a pitcher in my hand and offered to refill her cup. Those 15 mins, i applied massive kino to her. More than i ever have done in the past. I was out to try new things that night. I wanted to dance, so when a good song came along, i started to bounce to my head and move my body to the song. It was a hip hop scene so i knew what i was doing. She smiled and she started to move the song after she saw me dancing. I motioned her with my hand to come to me and she did. She put her hands on my shoulders while i put one of my hands on her hip. We moved around for a bit and then she put her rear to my front we grinding for quite a while. And through out the whole time, i slowly caressed her along her thights and her stomach. I ran my hands across her belly. She put her hand on my hand when it was on her stomach, motioning me to leave it there. Then i took a risk and slowly moved it to her breast. She must have loved it. For about 2-3 mintues, im massaging her breast while her hand held my hand on her breast. She turns around, i look into her eyes, move her hair from her face wiht my hand and slowly pull her head to mine and we make out.

This is how i approached it. While the techniques are there, you need to test the waters first before you proceed. Try about new things everytime you dance, go out or whatever. you wont progress if you dont try.

Drink a cup or 2 of beer. But dont GET DRUNK. You cant work your game if you are drunk. Trust me, i found this out later in the night with antoher girl.

 

[Golden Arms]

Originally posted by Yoson

My life is in your hands, save me.

OH

MY

GOD

Dude, you gotta be f*ckin kiddin' me !!!

 

[killerasp]

Re: Re: Stressed out over college party. Help!

Originally posted by Golden Arms
OH

MY

GOD

Dude, you gotta be f*ckin kiddin' me !!!

Hey, we have to start somewhere now dont we. If you can help the poor kid, then do so!

 

[Golden Arms]

Re: Re: Re: Stressed out over college party. Help!

Originally posted by killerasp
Hey, we have to start somewhere now dont we. If you can help the poor kid, then do so!

his LIFE is in our hands ???????
dude, I am helping him - making him realize how ridiculous his attitude is to begin with !