Strange situation.

[awesomepizza]

Hey guys, been reading posts on this forum for a few months and finally decided to post.

A few months ago, this girl was totally into me, and by into me, she was REALLY into me, I didn't have to ask for her number she gave me it, I didn't have to call her, she did it, whenever we met she gave off the biggest telltale signs of attraction, whenever we talked on the phone she would say that she loves me, and when I'm like "okay then, bye" she would stop me from hanging up until I say the same thing to her. So naturally, I thought, awesome, no chance I could mess this up, balls in my side of the court and the goalkeepers gone, I can come on as strong as I want and it should be fine.
But anyway, as you probably predicted when you first started reading this thread, she suddenly distanced herself from me, probably because I came back almost as strong as she did. (I mean, when you text a girl if she wants to go out somewhere again and she says yes, and half an hour later you text her if friday is okay, and she replies with "dont make plans we'll probabely run into each other at some point " its pretty obvious she has lost interest.

So anyway, I thought, screw her, and moved on and totally forgot about her. Until a couple of weeks ago, when randomly she started popping up in my mind, more and more frequently, She even popped up in a couple of my dreams.

On Monday I'm probably going to see her at an event, and I'm not sure why but I want her to want me more than anything, I don't even know why I want this, I don't think I like her that much and I'm kind of seeing someone on -off at the moment. Although its irrational (I know how stupid it sounds), its so frequently on my mind now its beginning to stop me from doing things, and I know if I manage to do this I'll be able to let it leave my mind forever.

Like I said I know it sounds stupid and irrational, but I know I can get her to want me, I just don't know how...

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Like I said I know it sounds stupid and irrational, but I know I can get her to want me, I just don't know how...

Lol I couldn't have described AFC and oneitis in the same sentence any better myself.

Man, the truth is that right now you've lost her and you can't do anything about it. Is this a bad thing though? Hell no! It got you to this forum! No wait, forget this forum, it got you to SEEK HELP!

Now let's start with this quoted statement of yours:
How can you "get her to want you?"

That's IMPOSSIBLE!

You can't grasp superiority as long as your in a position of inferiority. This is how sexual attraction works with women. They want to fvck the men with social status and fame, self confidence and dominance.

Yes, the truth is you've lost her. Why have you lost her? Let me reveal a little secret I've learned about oneitis:

You've lost her because you've elevated her to a higher status in your mind; you worship her as a beautiful face with huge tits, a juicy ass and nice legs atop a towering pedestal in your realm at which you now bow down to and kiss the toes of.

I had to be poetic there, you know why? The whole concept is just that cheesy...

Let me tell you, there is NO HOPE whatsoever of returning from the distant shores of oneitisland. You have no boat, and there are man-eating pirañas throughout the water.

So let me reiterate; you CAN'T get her to want you.

You say, "I know I can get her to want me, I just don't know how..."
You are right about one thing though, that is stupid and irrational! This is a completely normal thing to think when you have oneitis though, because the reason why you already don't know how is there is no way to get her unless you forget her.

The only way to reverse your situation is for her to feel like SHE CAN'T get you to want her. This requires that you lose all your interest in her though. She'll probably become more attracted to you, depending on how you play your game.

My strong advice is that you don't contact this girl AT ALL.
If she contacts you, IGNORE HER.

You really need to get her out of your mind COMPLETELY if you want to be happy; and no, the goal is not getting a girl, the goal is being happy. You just think that a girl will make you happy. Women aren't the only way to be happy buddy.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

It's done man.

"Once you like a woman more than she likes you" AKA "Once you like a woman more than yourself" it'll eventually (and very often quickly) shut her down and it's over, done, kaput. There isn't any going back now.

Edit: I just realized I had reversed the quotes of who said what, fixed

 

[awesomepizza]

Hello guys,

I can't really get out of going to the thing that she is going to be at, but what you are saying is that when I see her, I should tottaly ignore her? Or should I talk to her but show no interest? Maybe say that I'm seeing someone?

The truth is, she is really the only girl who has shown me this much interest in my life, I don't really talk to girls because i am anxious and I have no game at all, I'm not ugly or fat or stupid or anything like that, but I just don't get enough oppertunies to speak to girls around my age (18), so I am underdeveloped socially in that respect, I have no doubt that I can get a perminant girlfriend if I mustered up enough game and actaully has the oppertunity to use it, but te past few years have not been so kind. That's the main reason I'm so attached mentally to her I think.

 

[mrRuckus]

I'd never have talked to her again after she completely blew me off with the lame "i don't make plans" line. She'd damn well make plans with a guy she thought was awesome.

If girls have to cancel on me, they are usually calling back VERY soon, usually within a few minutes, because they spent a minute thinking they might've done something to lose me or p1ss me off. They go out of their way to make sure they soon me again soon. I don't waste time with girls who don't.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Hello guys,

I can't really get out of going to the thing that she is going to be at, but what you are saying is that when I see her, I should tottaly ignore her? Or should I talk to her but show no interest? Maybe say that I'm seeing someone?

The truth is, she is really the only girl who has shown me this much interest in my life, I don't really talk to girls because i am anxious and I have no game at all, I'm not ugly or fat or stupid or anything like that, but I just don't get enough oppertunies to speak to girls around my age (18), so I am underdeveloped socially in that respect, I have no doubt that I can get a perminant girlfriend if I mustered up enough game and actaully has the oppertunity to use it, but te past few years have not been so kind. That's the main reason I'm so attached mentally to her I think.

Okay, first things first - you used the phrase "permanent girlfriend," are you looking to get married or something, because I'm almost 18 and I'm sure as hell not ready to commit my life to a person like that, besides myself.

I know you just want to be loved man, that's a natural goal for humans in society - love and social relationships.
You can definitely get a girlfriend, but you must first learn two things:

-how relationships are formed, and
-what a girlfriend/boyfriend is REALLY like, NOT your IDEALIZATION of this relationship.

To be honest, it's best if you start fresh towards your goal of getting a girlfriend, so kick this other girl out of your life COMPLETELY.
When you see her say, "Hey, how are you?" she'll answer, then say "That's good, I'll see you around," then just walk away.

This is how you cut a girl out of your life - move her into the relationship category of "acquaintance."

Feel free to send me a pm if you have any further questions.
Good luck dude.

 

[awesomepizza]

Okay, first things first - you used the phrase "permanent girlfriend," are you looking to get married or something, because I'm almost 18 and I'm sure as hell not ready to commit my life to a person like that, besides myself.

I know you just want to be loved man, that's a natural goal for humans in society - love and social relationships.
You can definitely get a girlfriend, but you must first learn two things:

-how relationships are formed, and
-what a girlfriend/boyfriend is REALLY like, NOT your IDEALIZATION of this relationship.

To be honest, it's best if you start fresh towards your goal of getting a girlfriend, so kick this other girl out of your life COMPLETELY.
When you see her say, "Hey, how are you?" she'll answer, then say "That's good, I'll see you around," then just walk away.

This is how you cut a girl out of your life - move her into the relationship category of "acquaintance."

Feel free to send me a pm if you have any further questions.
Good luck dude.

Well by saying permanent girlfriend I mean a real relationship, maybe permanent was the wrong word to use.

I'm going to take your advice, Im going to try my best at totally ignoring her, but I don't think she is going to totally ignore me back (I mean it was me that completely cut off contact from her and stopped speaking to her), so what should I do then? Give her sly hints that I don't care about her anymore?