Strange scenario, hard to react....

[speedo_meme]

The other night my girlfriend of 3 months and I went to a party and then to the bar. While at the bar, a guy she had dated before came up and spoke to her, no big deal, I played it cool. She kept looking at me and finally left him and told me "whoa, that was awkward." We stayed for about 30 more minutes, and all the while she kept giving glances over toward him, and he did the same toward her. All of the sudden, she got tired and wanted to go home.

I usually know how to handle a situation like this, but this guy did nothing wrong, really. Nothing I should get remotely jealous about. But, it was obvious something had rattled my gf, so I called her on it, and she said that they had "casually dated" right before we went out and then she never heard from him again. He may have f*cked her and left her, I don't know.

Well this, as you probably expect, led to some uncomfortable convos on the way home, so I ultimately changed the subject and turned the tables on her by talking about some other girls. It worked and we lived happily ever after.

Anyways, she always has and still does have 99% IL in me, trust me. But what should I make of this other guy, who she obviously liked, but he just didn't call her? This guy asked her the other night why she hadn't called him and asked if I was her boyfriend. she said yes, but you could tell there was something going on.

Is this anything to be concerned about? If it is, gimme some ways to combat it. It's not really AFC, it's more of a "how do I portray alpha male status in all situations?"

 

[doctor]

One thing to get sorted first: Read your post and notice that you are jealous. Reframe it, do whatever it takes until you DON'T feel that because it'll come accross in how you carry yourself, how you talk, and how you act.

If that situation crops up AMOG him. Get him onto LOGICAL topics. Force him to be boring. Ask him to get you things and pick things up for you. Send him to buy drinks. If he does ANYTHING wussy or AFC make sure you try to make him screw it up worse.

If he asks why she never called DON'T shy away from the issue and pretend you can't hear it. Call them both on it in the conversation in a ****y and funny way.

Walk off and leave them for a minute or so to SHOW YOU'RE CONFIDENT. Pat him on the back as you leave (this AMOGs him as it puts you in a kind of paternal position).

Bodylanguage should be DOMINANT.

smurf him (about the only RJ technique I regularly use anymore).

Last thing is if you become the frame controller of the conversation then make sure it winds up.

 

[speedo_meme]

Well he was sort of standing in our way in and I didn't hear the conversation. I walked over to our group of friends, while he and her were talking. I guess the conversation lasted about a minute or so. Either way, I didn't think I was jealous until then, now I guess I am.

I don't want to stand by while some chump steps in on my girl. Call it a manhood issue if you will. Not an issue with the girl, it's a general topic on dating in general. If I WEREN'T jealous, I don't think this would even be an issue, so I guess the real problem if overcoming jealousy.

 

[Desdinova]

Is this anything to be concerned about?

I wouldn't be too concerned about it unless this guy starts mysteriously popping back up in her life. If she says, "I'm going out for coffee with (guy's name) tonight" you might have some cause for concern.

If she just bumped into a guy she dated a couple of times, it's no big deal. It happens to everyone. An ex that suddenly pops up makes things awkward which is probably why she was a little uncomfortable.

 

[speedo_meme]

yeah, and the more I think about it, I do it to her ALL the time. Say, when I see my ex, I really get rattled and start watching her, but that's for a different thread. Guess I had a momentary lapse when i needed my nuts reattached...

All in all, I'm trying to master the art of staying calm and staying out of fights in bars and such, while at the same time maintaining my "alpha" status in her eyes. She worships the ground I walk on, and I don't want that to change.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by speedo_meme
The other night my girlfriend of 3 months and I went to a party and then to the bar. While at the bar, a guy she had dated before came up and spoke to her, no big deal, I played it cool. She kept looking at me and finally left him and told me "whoa, that was awkward." We stayed for about 30 more minutes, and all the while she kept giving glances over toward him, and he did the same toward her. All of the sudden, she got tired and wanted to go home.

I usually know how to handle a situation like this, but this guy did nothing wrong, really. Nothing I should get remotely jealous about. But, it was obvious something had rattled my gf, so I called her on it, and she said that they had "casually dated" right before we went out and then she never heard from him again. He may have f*cked her and left her, I don't know.

Well this, as you probably expect, led to some uncomfortable convos on the way home, so I ultimately changed the subject and turned the tables on her by talking about some other girls. It worked and we lived happily ever after.

Anyways, she always has and still does have 99% IL in me, trust me. But what should I make of this other guy, who she obviously liked, but he just didn't call her? This guy asked her the other night why she hadn't called him and asked if I was her boyfriend. she said yes, but you could tell there was something going on.

Is this anything to be concerned about? If it is, gimme some ways to combat it. It's not really AFC, it's more of a "how do I portray alpha male status in all situations?"

You should have gotten in his face, and told him to back off of your biitch, and let her know not to be talking to other males she used to fukk.

 

[speedo_meme]

I didn't know she used to f*ck him at the time. I didn't know who he was, and if I had gotten all in his face and threw a tantrum I wouldv'e looked reaaaal stupid.

I can see doing that if he'd been disrespectful or if they'd been touching all over each other.

I'm trying to stop the problem before it comes to that.

 

[MightyMate]

Just dont let her speak with him nemore.

 

[speedo_meme]

How would you go about doing that without coming off as insecure? I mean, she just happened to run across him at the bar, they didn't set up a meeting or anything. I guess this sort of thing is really all on the girl, wherever her interest lies.

 

[hithard]

If she is going to do it she is going to do it. If you have to game and maneuver so she doesn’t, then it’s a crappy way to live in a relationship. If she has unresolved issues with him better to find out sooner then delay the inevitable. If you believe her values are good and she is solid in the relationship then why worry. I know I've been harping on about how girls cheat on boyfriends but I believe if you chose well it makes a lot of difference.
At the moment you don’t sound convinced.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Desdinova
I wouldn't be too concerned about it unless this guy starts mysteriously popping back up in her life. If she says, "I'm going out for coffee with (guy's name) tonight" you might have some cause for concern.

If she just bumped into a guy she dated a couple of times, it's no big deal. It happens to everyone. An ex that suddenly pops up makes things awkward which is probably why she was a little uncomfortable.

I agree.

I wouldn't make anything of it unless you see a change in her patterns. That is the TRUE sign that there is a problem in your relationship.

I had a g/f one time who brought me to her office christmas party. She worked witha guy who she had a thing for in the past. I don't think they really dated or did anything but I knew she liked him.

Anyways, this guy was at the party and I caught her several times looking in his direction. This guy was supposedly only 21 yrs old and a top salesman in their office. He had a new vette and a new viper. The viper was sitting prominently in front of the entrance to the party, like some kind of "fukk you" to all of mankind. This aspect intimidated me a bit, since this was when I was just starting out building my fortune and didn't really have much to show for it.

Oh well, I played it cool and didn't confront her about it because she never gave me any reason whatsoever to doubt her devotion to me. I knew by her actions that although she probably still had feelings for this other guy, it wasn't enough to take her away from me.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by speedo_meme
How would you go about doing that without coming off as insecure? I mean, she just happened to run across him at the bar, they didn't set up a meeting or anything. I guess this sort of thing is really all on the girl, wherever her interest lies.

You just answered your own question.