Stranded girl asked me for help

[zekko]

But even if its odd, is it a validating experience?

Impossible to say without knowing her true motivations. If she really was in need, she might have thought you looked like a nice guy or a trustworthy person. Which some people here would say is a bad thing, you should look like a dangerous alpha.

 

[corrector]

Impossible to say without knowing her true motivations.

I guess we will never know. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I took the easy route and choose a memory of what could have been rather than testing a situation that could have turned dangerous for me or where I could have lost my grip in life (at least in the level of staying out of "real" trouble) if I got involved with the likes of her.

 

[zekko]

I could have lost my grip in life (at least in the level of staying out of "real" trouble) if I got involved with the likes of her.

Yeah, I mean if your fantasies came true, would you really want to get involved with a girl who approaches strange men for a ride when she could have just as easily taken the bus?

 

[corrector]

Yeah, I mean if your fantasies came true, would you really want to get involved with a girl who approaches strange men for a ride when she could have just as easily taken the bus?

We would have to break-up if she continued doing that of course. You have to set relationship boundaries early on when you are seeing someone, otherwise you'll be a doormat and women would walk all over you and lose respect.

 

[Bokanovsky]

A girl approached you looking sick and saying she was having convulsions? Maybe I’m missing something but why not call 911? What is she going to do with your $20? Buy herself anti-convulsion medication?

 

[Xenom0rph]

I think you might have just avoided a false rape scam.... In this day and age, what rational woman would get in a car with a random guy....?????....

This situation doesnt seem right....

 

[GrowingPains]

Corrector, my G.....

You gotta let this one go man. It's just a memory. And you're only solidifying it's shelf life by thinking about it so hard. We remember all kinds of random stuff for no particular reason at all.
If you're truly curious, see a licensed professional. None of us can help you realize why you keep thinking about her.

It's not that important anyways. You're speculating at this point and the speculation isn't helping you. You're not going to move past it by speculating and you're not going to get any women via further reflection.

So just drop it and keep living life. It will fade or it won't. The reason it probably has so much staying power is that you are thinking this is a missed opportunity for something you are lacking in life. Go get the thing you are lacking qnd you will laugh when you look back on this situation.

 

[biggoal]

In this day and age, you can't trust anybody. For all you know she could have robbed you. It's nice that you gave her the 20.

Yea. Heck old has led to robberies down here as well. When I go on old dates I'm packing heat always. Never know if it's a set up.

That 20 bucks could be used towards a dinner date.

 

[corrector]

A girl approached you looking sick and saying she was having convulsions?

She had convulsions on the bus heading down to the city, or I think the story went. She looked normal other than the fact she looked like she had a running nose and had allot of tissues around to blow her nose.

Maybe I’m missing something but why not call 911? What is she going to do with your $20? Buy herself anti-convulsion medication?

I'm not sure what she would do with the $ 20.00, probably buy bus/train tickets to get back to Newmarket. The money would have been enough for that. I still think its inadequate if her story was true, but not knowing, and being on the spot at the time, this looked like the best compromise to functionally deal with the situation. I did stick around to see what she was doing just before I left (i.e. to see if she would approach other strangers the same way, of if another guy/people showed up around her), but just saw her there by herself in the lot. I was too tensed up at the moment.

 

[corrector]

The reason it probably has so much staying power is that you are thinking this is a missed opportunity for something you are lacking in life. Go get the thing you are lacking qnd you will laugh when you look back on this situation.

I'm not thinking about it as intently as you portrayed here. It's merely a nice summer memory. I'm trying to decipher why it's a nice memory because it's now feeling like she did me a favour by approaching me, at the particular time she did, and now there is a nice memory.

I think that something happened in the outdoor gym/bike trail that put me off balance emotionally. I saw a older guy and hot girl sitting together on a chair adjacent to mine and just felt bad that stuff like that never happens to me. It appeared they just met from online dating or something. I was sitting there taking a rest from the trail ride and then I just couldn't take sitting near those two people, and just left my bike and bag and started working-out (as other people were), in this outdoor gym. They had pull-up bars, tricep, bi-cept, all sorts of bars and that got my mind off of that. I then rode back on the trail after the workout but noticed I left my stuff on the chair and feel that lapse of judgment was due to feeling off balance emotionally because of incelness.

It was during this particular state of mind I met this girl at the bank which basically reset my whole mind from the previous bad feeling. I went from feeling bad to feeling great after seeing her like magic.

This is why I've said on previous posts that I feel there was some emotional or mental imbalance that was tornadic, that came out of that particular trail ride/outdoor gym and that "couple", and, if there are "laws of attraction" in the universe, it's quite possible I could have inadvertently attracted her into my reality in order to balance myself out. For this to happen, there would have to be something tornadic to the point of a mild shock or disturbance, it can't just be a low-grade comfortable state of incelness but a highly intense incel shock.

The fact it's a nice memory means that something "good" happened with me in that whole interaction.

In terms of getting the thing that I'm lacking, if I'm "incel", then by definition, it's unfair to suggest to get the thing that I'm lacking, or I would not be incel/nearcel in the first place. But, I'll spare that discussion for this thread. Maybe this is an "incel-thing", or "incel-memory", or "incel-fantasy".... maybe it's that then.

 

[2Rocky]

Yea. Heck old has led to robberies down here as well. When I go on old dates I'm packing heat always. Never know if it's a set up.

That 20 bucks could be used towards a dinner date.

 

[GrowingPains]

In terms of getting the thing that I'm lacking, if I'm "incel", then by definition, it's unfair to suggest to get the thing that I'm lacking, or I would not be incel/nearcel in the first place. But, I'll spare that discussion for this thread. Maybe this is an "incel-thing", or "incel-memory", or "incel-fantasy".... maybe it's that then.

Claiming incel sounds like a cop out to me.

What are you afraid of? Why not just go meet chicks and get their attention/sex?

'Unfair'... life isn't fair. "Life's lead me somewhere unexpected.. it's 6 degrees out here, I'm underdressed. But no one gives a fvck, you gotta get the mother fvcker in" - David Goggins

How can you be an incel if you acknowledge that you are and choose to stay that way? I think they call that a volcel, voluntary celibate. You are literally choosing to be an 'incel'. We all have choices to make. And we have control in every situation. Stop letting your mind convince you that you're some inferior cuck and take the actions to change your life.

Or just keep speculating on the internet and hoping things will change. Maybe that will get you to not being an incel one day.

Which route has more probability of success? Idk, you tell me.

 

[corrector]

Claiming incel sounds like a cop out to me.

What are you afraid of? Why not just go meet chicks and get their attention/sex?

Here is a thread I wrote earlier about my experiences meeting chicks at the Gym:
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/i-get-rejected-at-the-gym.260795/

Most advice is do not try to meet girls period. I'm serious. People in that thead telling me to stay away from women!

'Unfair'... life isn't fair. "Life's lead me somewhere unexpected.. it's 6 degrees out here, I'm underdressed. But no one gives a fvck, you gotta get the mother fvcker in" - David Goggins

How can you be an incel if you acknowledge that you are and choose to stay that way? I think they call that a volcel, voluntary celibate. You are literally choosing to be an 'incel'. We all have choices to make. And we have control in every situation. Stop letting your mind convince you that you're some inferior cuck and take the actions to change your life.

I'm not "choosing" to stay that way. What actions do you think can change my life?

 

[GrowingPains]

Most advice is do not try to meet girls period. I'm serious. People in that thead telling me to stay away from women!

Skimmed 1st and 4th page. That doesn't seem to be the case. They said approach and told you how not to be creepy. Sounds like a green light to me.

I'm not "choosing" to stay that way. What actions do you think can change my life?

How many women have you approached in the past month? How many women, also in the past month, have you wanted to approach and not done it because you hesitated/made up an excuse?

 

[corrector]

How many women have you approached in the past month? How many women, also in the past month, have you wanted to approach and not done it because you hesitated/made up an excuse?

Do lady cashiers count as approaches when you are buying stuff?

 

[GrowingPains]

Do lady cashiers count as approaches when you are buying stuff?

No.

 

[corrector]

Skimmed 1st and 4th page. That doesn't seem to be the case. They said approach and told you how not to be creepy. Sounds like a green light to me.



How many women have you approached in the past month? How many women, also in the past month, have you wanted to approach and not done it because you hesitated/made up an excuse?

It is a catch-22. You can only make a non creepy approach if a girl is attracted to you in the first place otherwise it will be creepy no matter how you approach. Normally you would look for some non verbal social cues, at minimum, to see if it is okay to approach. (Ie there is an eye contact thread. If you get -1.level feedback you will not approach).

The real question is how many girls look inviting enough for me to feel like they want me to approach them and I am holding back who is not a cashier? None to my knowledge. Obviously it would be creepy to approach someone who does not want me to approach them.

 

[GrowingPains]

It is a catch-22. You can only make a non creepy approach if a girl is attracted to you in the first place otherwise it will be creepy no matter how you approach. Normally you would look for some non verbal social cues, at minimum, to see if it is okay to approach. (Ie there is an eye contact thread. If you get -1.level feedback you will not approach).

The real question is how many girls look inviting enough for me to feel like they want me to approach them and I am holding back who is not a cashier? None to my knowledge. Obviously it would be creepy to approach someone who does not want me to approach them.

So instead of answering my question by saying 'none' you rephrased it to protect your ego. Why?

You will never know if a woman wants you to talk to her unless you talk to her. It's really that simple. They can eye fvck you and still not want you to talk to them. Mixed signals are a thing. You cannot rely on this, especially in the place you're at. You need to be approaching simply to get out of your own head. Then you'll be approaching to potentially get numbers. Then you'll be approaching because you notice choosing signals. It is a process. And you are limiting yourself by not even starting. Everything you say stops the ball from rolling, this is where your choices and perspective are making you think you're an incel. No one is an incel. Everyone who is categorized as such is volcel and has the ability to change it.

Change your mindset, change your life.

 

[corrector]

So instead of answering my question by saying 'none' you rephrased it to protect your ego. Why?

I thought I was paraphrasing your question.

You will never know if a woman wants you to talk to her unless you talk to her. It's really that simple. They can eye fvck you and still not want you to talk to them. Mixed signals are a thing. You cannot rely on this, especially in the place you're at. You need to be approaching simply to get out of your own head.

I must have done some approaches but must have forgot. Lets see, I approached an older Asian lady who was waiting in line at the bank and commented on her uniform and engaged in conversation about her about the TTC subway (she was a subway operator). She was called as next in line and she left to deal with her business. So...one approach there. That probably happened in the past month.

Then you'll be approaching to potentially get numbers. Then you'll be approaching because you notice choosing signals. It is a process. And you are limiting yourself by not even starting. Everything you say stops the ball from rolling, this is where your choices and perspective are making you think you're an incel. No one is an incel. Everyone who is categorized as such is volcel and has the ability to change it.

There are more definitions then the classical trucel definition. I never said I was trucel/incel, but more like nearcel/incel. Nearcel is not volcel, it means "near incel" or very close to incel, or blurry or feels like. If you create a spectrum towards incel in one end and "Chad/Volcel" in the other end, then I think my characterization on here would probably be closer to the incel point. I'll never say I'm exactly on the incel point because I got married and divorced in the past, and had a girlfriend-relationship in the past, and kissed and had sex with a woman and this was all a natural thing. Therefore, with a past like the one I have, I can never claim to be a truecel/incel.

As others have pointed out, the problem with nearcels is that you can not replicate the experience and are sort of left stranded in an eternal dry spell once the relationship/marriage or whatever dissolves and are back to square one and in space.

 

[GrowingPains]

I thought I was paraphrasing your question.



I must have done some approaches but must have forgot. Lets see, I approached an older Asian lady who was waiting in line at the bank and commented on her uniform and engaged in conversation about her about the TTC subway (she was a subway operator). She was called as next in line and she left to deal with her business. So...one approach there. That probably happened in the past month.



There are more definitions then the classical trucel definition. I never said I was trucel/incel, but more like nearcel/incel. Nearcel is not volcel, it means "near incel" or very close to incel, or blurry or feels like. If you create a spectrum towards incel in one end and "Chad/Volcel" in the other end, then I think my characterization on here would probably be closer to the incel point. I'll never say I'm exactly on the incel point because I got married and divorced in the past, and had a girlfriend-relationship in the past, and kissed and had sex with a woman and this was all a natural thing. Therefore, with a past like the one I have, I can never claim to be a truecel/incel.

As others have pointed out, the problem with nearcels is that you can not replicate the experience and are sort of left stranded in an eternal dry spell once the relationship/marriage or whatever dissolves and are back to square one and in space.

I think your focus on the definitions is causing you to miss my point..

By natural you mean they happened with little effort and you not having to force yourself outside of your comfort zone?

You want/need more interactions with women. Yet you are not taking actions to create them. That's problem with every 'x'-cel. Whining but no action. There's your answer. Take action.