STR ended unpredictably

[highSpeed]

yeah it could be. although it is impossible to explain female behavior with reasoning. for some reason she stopped feeling it. were there any signs? nope. but again it does not matter.

and this is why we constantly go back and forth on this site, because knowing the female mind is pretty much impossible. Hell, they don't even understand their own minds. The only thing that you can really do is to know yourself, what you will put up with and how you react to certain situations and behaviors. I know, easier said than done right? Women literally do things to p*ss you off, to needle you and to get you going. What I have found, women are literally the best creatures on earth for not taking any responsibility for their actions but holding everyone else accountable for what they say and do. Tough to really have any meaningful interactions in those situations, so you have to do your best to satisfy yourself and if something positive develops with them? Unlikely but go with it and consider yourself lucky if it happens.

 

[corporate_sellout]

Seems like you caught some feelings.

“hey, my phone is about to die, I’ll text you back when it turns back” and guess what... she never did lol

unfortunately the sex was great hence i caught some feelings.

ghosting sucks! first 2-3 months are just so important these days

 

[Smartone84]

unfortunately the sex was great hence i caught some feelings.

Ha, yup. I know the feeling. One of the unique cases where it would have been better if the sex was awful.

Most of your story may as well have been mine close to a T (pretty sure you've read my thread, too)
2 months, great chemistry, amazing sex, seemingly super high IL, her always initiating, plenty of stuff in common, etc, and I do mean etc.)
Then boom, completely blown off out of nowhere on New Years Eve of all days before my friends party so she could go back to the ex.

The big difference between my plate and yours though is that you knew full well this woman just got out of a FIVE year relationship, whereas mine kept her previous LTR secret from me, even going as far as to saying she just got out of something only "3 months" long. Had I known I was her first date after the latest wave of her on and off again 1.5 year relationship I wouldn't have dared gotten so attached. So while I do feel for you to some extent, you have to accept that a lot of this you have mostly yourself to blame.

ghosting sucks! first 2-3 months are just so important these days

Yes true but you have to understand that in the case of rebounds, ESPECIALLY yours with her coming off of 5 freakin years, there's likely nothing you could have done in those first couple of months to secure her short of you being one of the greatest DJ's on Earth. Like you also alluded to in my thread that after the blowoff it doesn't matter if you get angry, go full blown afc, or whatever. The reality is someone like this was not over her ex at all and ejected as soon as she realized this and also realized that her feelings for you were probably half fabricated. Her conscience came into play, yet unfortunately just way too late. These are dangerous self serving women and sadly there are plenty more out there. I just felt grateful my ex-fling pulled the plug after 2 months instead of let's say 6 months while she secretly entertained the thought of her ex all along. You should be too.

Bottom line is you, like me, were a glorified rebound. It's an extremely terribly tough pill to swallow, but it's reality. Curious how old was she?

 

[Glassguy]

Abrupt changes in behavior usually indicate there is another rooster in the hen house.

This.
You never know who has been laying in the weeds or what has transpired when you werent around. Regardless, the best step is to totally ignore.

One of my recent plates that I only banged twice started acting weird. After a few days she told me that she was going to work on a relationship with an ex. I simply told her good luck. After 2 weeks she sent me a message a couple of days ago: "am I too late to tell you that I made a mistake and would love to see you again?"

My response: yep.

End of story.

 

[Smartone84]

This.
You never know who has been laying in the weeds or what has transpired when you werent around. Regardless, the best step is to totally ignore.

One of my recent plates that I only banged twice started acting weird. After a few days she told me that she was going to work on a relationship with an ex. I simply told her good luck. After 2 weeks she sent me a message a couple of days ago: "am I too late to tell you that I made a mistake and would love to see you again?"

My response: yep.

End of story.

Lol. Love it.

 

[Dash Riprock]

This.
You never know who has been laying in the weeds or what has transpired when you werent around. Regardless, the best step is to totally ignore.

One of my recent plates that I only banged twice started acting weird. After a few days she told me that she was going to work on a relationship with an ex. I simply told her good luck. After 2 weeks she sent me a message a couple of days ago: "am I too late to tell you that I made a mistake and would love to see you again?"

My response: yep.

End of story.

Really good play, GG.

With age comes a "true" IDGAF attitude; almost like gray hair and a few more wrinkles. I can't tell you how many women in the past two years (because it's a lot) I've immediately gone S&D on because of BS, flaky behavior--and didn't give a s*hit. 90% of the time they stay gone. The other 10% they try to come back or communicate to my non-response or "not interested, sorry" text.

One thing you learn as you mature (I'm over 40) is that time is precious, as you have less of it. You don't have time for low-quality women and dating games, BS, and low interest. The Paradox of Choice has ruined dating and relationships, but it's not in my DNA to quit. I've just become much more focused on what I want and know immediately whether a woman I pursue is either A) a hook-up or plate at best or B) someone with STR or LTR potential. The past two years, since my 9-year LTR ended, I've dated 30 (exactly) women. 1-2 were STR/LTR material and rest trash or hookup/plate material.

Don't stress over poor choices in women. We all make them. There are some "unicorns" and "purple squirrels" out there but you have to keep looking and putting forth effort. Don't ever settle for someone who treats you with disrespect or one who you find yourself chasing--which is much different than pursuing.

Never quit trying or improving. In the end, it's not about how many 9's or 10's you've f*ucked, but you're legacy and what you've left and contributed to mankind and society.

~Dash

 

[corporate_sellout]

This.
You never know who has been laying in the weeds or what has transpired when you werent around. Regardless, the best step is to totally ignore.

One of my recent plates that I only banged twice started acting weird. After a few days she told me that she was going to work on a relationship with an ex. I simply told her good luck. After 2 weeks she sent me a message a couple of days ago: "am I too late to tell you that I made a mistake and would love to see you again?"

My response: yep.

End of story.

yeap. that story is familiar. but again she was pretty clear from the start.

 

[corporate_sellout]

Really good play, GG.

With age comes a "true" IDGAF attitude; almost like gray hair and a few more wrinkles. I can't tell you how many women in the past two years (because it's a lot) I've immediately gone S&D on because of BS, flaky behavior--and didn't give a s*hit. 90% of the time they stay gone. The other 10% they try to come back or communicate to my non-response or "not interested, sorry" text.

One thing you learn as you mature (I'm over 40) is that time is precious, as you have less of it. You don't have time for low-quality women and dating games, BS, and low interest. The Paradox of Choice has ruined dating and relationships, but it's not in my DNA to quit. I've just become much more focused on what I want and know immediately whether a woman I pursue is either A) a hook-up or plate at best or B) someone with STR or LTR potential. The past two years, since my 9-year LTR ended, I've dated 30 (exactly) women. 1-2 were STR/LTR material and rest trash or hookup/plate material.

Don't stress over poor choices in women. We all make them. There are some "unicorns" and "purple squirrels" out there but you have to keep looking and putting forth effort. Don't ever settle for someone who treats you with disrespect or one who you find yourself chasing--which is much different than pursuing.

Never quit trying or improving. In the end, it's not about how many 9's or 10's you've f*ucked, but you're legacy and what you've left and contributed to mankind and society.

~Dash

this thread is kinda losing its value.

Good play GG? what are you talking about?
what was the play exactly. when a girl tells you I am just trying to get back with my ex it is an obvious rejection. so there is not much you can do other than disappear before you get more embarrassed.
I agree with you that it is a numbers game and you have to date as many as possible.

 

[Glassguy]

this thread is kinda losing its value.

Good play GG? what are you talking about?
what was the play exactly. when a girl tells you I am just trying to get back with my ex it is an obvious rejection. so there is not much you can do other than disappear before you get more embarrassed.
I agree with you that it is a numbers game and you have to date as many ass possible.

The "good play" is that I got what I wanted, she made a decision and then I shot her down at her later request because I have high value and self esteem and dont care at all to walk away. If more men were acting like this it would make the dating world a MUCH better place.

 

[corporate_sellout]

The "good play" is that I got what I wanted, she made a decision and then I shot her down at her later request because I have high value and self esteem and dont care at all to walk away. If more men were acting like this it would make the dating world a MUCH better place.

yeah I hear you. I just feel that this is not a good play this is just reacting to reality. which is that she wanted to get back with her ex. any contact after that is irrelevant. high self esteem people would not even have responded to this text.

 

[Glassguy]

yeah I hear you. I just feel that this is not a good play this is just reacting to reality. which is that she wanted to get back with her ex. any contact after that is irrelevant. high self esteem people would not even have responded to this text.

I completely disagree.

High self esteem people do what they want and dont really care about the outcome of it.

 

[speed dawg]

Exactly man. She showed such high interest in everything that I was beginning to start trusting her and involving her more. the its not you its me, not ready for a relationship and i had a really good time for 3 months,however brought me back to reality. it was such a well acted high interest that i even wondered if i did something wrong.

You got needy, bottom line. Some of the less experienced posters here are telling you what you want to hear, i.e. you were a rebound, etc. Maybe that's the case, but women don't leave a guy they have attraction towards. Her IL in you plummeted.

The bold part above tells me you caught feelings for her and she could sense it. There's your lesson learned. You were talking to her way too much. I imagine you were talking to her the whole time while on vacation right? You were supposed to be out doing your own thing, I mean you barely know this chick. That's the straw that broke the camel's back for her.

 

[corporate_sellout]

You got needy, bottom line. Some of the less experienced posters here are telling you what you want to hear, i.e. you were a rebound, etc. Maybe that's the case, but women don't leave a guy they have attraction towards. Her IL in you plummeted.

The bold part above tells me you caught feelings for her and she could sense it. There's your lesson learned. You were talking to her way too much. I imagine you were talking to her the whole time while on vacation right? You were supposed to be out doing your own thing, I mean you barely know this chick. That's the straw that broke the camel's back for her.

Well her IL plummeted.i know that. Nobody got needy dawg. that's your take. Nope you guessed wrong. no phone calls just occasional texting.

 

[Smartone84]

Lol you were talking to her while on vacation so that’s why she dumped you.

Speed Dawg while there is probably plenty of substance to your thoughts I must ask you when does that end? I can tell you for certain it's not always that black and white and cut and dry. Even IF he began catching feelings or talking to her more often, it's not like this was a 3 week fling. They were dating for months he stated.

I'm with you as far as a girl will not leave a guy she has high interest in except in TWO scenario’s and that is when she’s either a) a weird a$$ BPD chick or b) there is an ex in the background that dumped her a-- that she's absolutely not over. If that guy comes around to play again its well documented on here (i.e. Desdinova's High Score Theory) that it's basically game over for you unless you manage to maybe get a LOT of time in with the girl. 2-3 months isn't going to do it. And hell, the ex in this scenario was FIVE years. Unless OP was James freakin Bond there's no way he was going to end up going down as a rebound and nothing more.

From personal experience I can tell you I've been there, for 2 months, and was left out of nowhere for an ex. I can tell you that in those 2 months while I did SHOW interest, treated her very well and did develop some strong feelings by the end, nothing I did was over the top or out of the ordinary or afc. Her ex reached back out and his scarcity created him some value. Add on the fact that she was anything but over him and their 1.5 year history and I was toast. She even came back to me and played push/pull but it all didn't work out. I've since realized and accepted that I basically did nothing wrong in the entire situation and am glad I got away from her and the immaturity/drama she was all about.

Bottom line - it's absolutely NOT always on the guy.

 

[speed dawg]

Lol you were talking to her while on vacation so that’s why she dumped you.

Speed Dawg while there is probably plenty of substance to your thoughts I must ask you when does that end? I can tell you for certain it's not always that black and white and cut and dry. Even IF he began catching feelings or talking to her more often, it's not like this was a 3 week fling. They were dating for months he stated.

Yes it is, when dealing with women. If you know what you are looking for, it's very easy.

I'm with you as far as a girl will not leave a guy she has high interest in except in TWO scenario’s and that is when she’s either a) a weird a$$ BPD chick or b) there is an ex in the background that dumped her a-- that she's absolutely not over. If that guy comes around to play again its well documented on here (i.e. Desdinova's High Score Theory) that it's basically game over for you unless you manage to maybe get a LOT of time in with the girl. 2-3 months isn't going to do it. And hell, the ex in this scenario was FIVE years. Unless OP was James freakin Bond there's no way he was going to end up going down as a rebound and nothing more.

Those chicks are more susceptible to game than the normal ones.

From personal experience I can tell you I've been there, for 2 months, and was left out of nowhere for an ex. I can tell you that in those 2 months while I did SHOW interest, treated her very well and did develop some strong feelings by the end, nothing I did was over the top or out of the ordinary or afc. Her ex reached back out and his scarcity created him some value. Add on the fact that she was anything but over him and their 1.5 year history and I was toast. She even came back to me and played push/pull but it all didn't work out. I've since realized and accepted that I basically did nothing wrong in the entire situation and am glad I got away from her and the immaturity/drama she was all about.

Bottom line - it's absolutely NOT always on the guy.

2-3 is the typical new fling relationship, where the guy attracts the girl initially by doing everything right, then catches feelings, and loses his mind and wakes up one and asks the same questions the OP is asking.

It's a very textbook case. And, I certainly am not surprised by his response to me, egos often cloud proper judgement. I've been there too. I still remember the girl that drove me to this forum. 2 of them actually.

 

[Smartone84]

She never had real attraction for him. Talk about lack of experience...

Who never had real attraction for him? The chick was with the OP for 3 months, he explained. He says the sex was great, as was the chemistry, she initiated, etc. If you're talking about feelings then sure, she probably never had real feelings for him. But I'd say the attraction was there. I also wouldn't necessarily knock him for lack of experience per say. If anything I'd knock him for getting the slightest bit close to a chick who just got out of a FIVE year relationship.

 

[Smartone84]

She was just looking for a body, a "good enough."

Basically the truth in this particular situation, yes. She was in no position to give the OP what he wanted bc she simply was never over the ex and as soon as she realized that she was gone. Doesn't mean the OP did all sorts of things wrong by catching feelings, talking to her on vacay, or whatever else Speed Dawg said or implied. Just my two cents.