Stop Using Aim To Talk To Girls You Have An Interest In!!!!!!

[DJ Vulcanis]

and it goes without saying that if you are a part of any dating service and you find yourself to be using it to exclusively to get girls delete yourself from them!

I have been using the HotOrNot service for about 6 months, until now. Reasons?

Many.

Online, women are sort of predictable, you have an idea of what is going to be said and blah blah.

Real life, women, dont know what the **** they will be doing next.

This in effect was extremely damaging to my real life interactions with women as i would tend to get confused and nervous a lot quicker, and it became really hard to think on my feet. Since ive stopped, i feel generally better about myself in all aspects. I also notice that AIM tends to take a lot of time out doing things that really need to be done, like homework and reading for college. Why ****ing bother with some girl that lives 50+ miles away when nothing good will come out of it. If you need to talk to someone, thats what your real friends are for. They have known you for most of your life and can help you out a lot better than some chick youve talked to online for 5 hours.

At the beginning of this fall, i was going to class regularly and stuff. But i have noticed that my attendance has started to slip, i actually skipped class once to talk to a girl online. Thats when it hit me, this **** has to stop. Its doing nothing but hurting my life.

But this doesnt mean my life has been too bad. The start of the semester i started going to fencing and im actually hardcore into fencing now. Its a lot ****ing harder than a lot of people might think. I also work out every monday, wednesday, and friday morning at 8:00am.

Some girls at fencing practice have actually started to take notice of my drive and intensity and one of them actually admires that fact. More proof that girls tend to like a man more when he is focused on improving himself and only on his goals in life. They see that energy you are putting forth into it, and they want that energy directed at them, but giving it to them, we all know is a bad idea, a proper balance is nice.

But other than fencing, ive noticed that when i see an attractive girl in like a class that i want to talk to, i get nervous and dont go through with anything, something unpredictable could happen, oh no!

So my message to you all

STOP USING INTERNET DATING SITES AND STOP TALKING TO GIRLS ONLINE YOU HAVE LOVE INTERESTS IN!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Eternal]

For fun, let's move this to Tips...

 

[Ded_Skin_Mask13]

You can sometimes use AIM to your advantage..

 

[DJ Vulcanis]

sometimes, but not very often. ive noticed that in order to convey emotions online, one has to always exaggerate. this is a bad thing, because you have no body language, you dont hear their tone, you cant see their eyes, etc etc etc. using aim to talk to good friends is no problem at all and is actually a good way to keep in contact with close friends and family members you might be far away from. but when it comes to love interests, girls would always like a call more than a text message.

 

[bman]

i use online girls just for sex, besides that they're worthless

 

[Porky]

Agreed. AIM quickly and easily puts you into the friend zone, because girls feel more comfortable talking about their feelings online. I'm sick of being an emotional tampon, so I've pretty much stopped using AIM and this seems to have positive effects.

One girl and I used to talk a lot on AIM, and I would usually be the one to start the conversation. Now, whenever I do sign online (for no more than 15 minutes or so a day) she IMs me withina minute. At the highlight of conversation, I leave.

I've also been doing it with another girl. Since I stopped using AIM, both of them have been looking for excuses to see me. One of them walked over from her house last night to borrow eggs from me, even though I live a block and a half away. Weird? Nope, just obvious.

 

[Duke]

Dude, no kiddin. Overuse of AIM DESTROYS mystery and makes her think you have no life subconsciously. Plus, you don't get any of the benefits of "real-life" contact such as kino or even voice intonation. Gotta use those fricken smileys all the time (bleh!). When you finally do meet up in person, conversation that you could have used then will have been used up by AIM.

I'm thinking that AIM should be used like the phone-- for just a few minutes to make a date. Otherwise the chick starts moaning about her day and asking you if you find certain guys hot (I mean WTF!).

This is, however, still something I'm struggling with. It's hard for me to get away from them sometimes.

Got other tips or comments? Plz spill em.

 

[kinjo]

Chatting as safe convo practice for shy AFC

I disagree for some reason. I often worked online so I have all the time to do this and this has work for me. I used ICQ to chat up girls for several years, and I did got laid, and got 2 LTR and more friends offline when I meet them online. And this happens even in my AFC days.

If she's not a HB, (95% they often is not a HB) then she probably has her offline HB friends, they can introduce you when you are hanging out, or just be friends with her where she might be useful someday.

It does get you to friendship zone if they see you always there, so if I'm interested I often just don't reply to their messages or in invincible mode.

When I find this forum a month ago I changed my approach. Ussualy I run a search and send multiple "hello" and if I am lucky, 1 out of 10 will respond. On inital approach at new girl I become MORE creative to get them to respond to me. This has improved my chances to about 75%.

Many DJ tools helps alot since most of the time when I get CREATIVE with my wording, most girls online will just JUMP at me acting VERY CURIOUS asking like 5 questions at a time since I don't say "hi" on approach and ask the usual things like "asl pls, where do you work, etc etc"

I played with their imagination, feelings and established rapport, knowing well that she is not interested in me initially, but the image of me that I created by the proper use of wording, CnF, silence (do not reply message asap, have patience, let em wait, be CnF), capitalizing some words for emotional effect, pacing and humor I put together for her to READ.

Primary, I use chatting as a safe n easy way to kill my AFCness, develop new thinking habit and practice my new DJ theory like patterning, convo, Cnf, and other tools neccesary.

Additionally, gals defence system is easier to penetrate with this method, you don't have to worry about other things other than YOUR WORDS and you got the TIME to think about the next WORD you're gonna reply her with.

When I was an AFC, gals just wont message me, now they messsage me ALL THE TIME. I am a mystery now. I am the PRIZE. For me, this is a good practice and it help my mindset and game a lot when I actually MEET 'em real live.

 

[Halo]

I have to agree with those who say AIM kills mystery. I use it fairly often to talk with friends who have moved away (beats paying for long distance calls anyway), and have talked to girls quite a bit too. I can almost physically feel my level of mystery declining when I talk to girls online, it's even worse than the phone. So I only use it to talk to my friends now.

If you have to use it, do it just to get her phone number. Then call her and arrange a date that way.

 

[Sammo]

AIM is BULL**** for picking up, 'nuff said.

AIM reduces the effectiveness of the pick up and takes alot more time then if you were to know the girl in real life, you can't use eye contact, you cant use body language and most of all you cant use kino. Kino is extremely important in picking up, especially with girls at my age (15-18).

It is alot harder to improve yourself and fine tune your skills whilst on the internet and talking to girls, you get rusty. Some people even build up a dependance to the instant messaging services.

But most of all, it reduces the fun in the pick up! Picking up is so much more fun and so much more exciting when you are actually there talking to the girl.

Internet pickups = boring.
Real life pickups = exciting.

 

[Nocturnal]

i use aim sometimes. why?

because if I'm working on something on the computer i can talk to people online.

you can ALWAYS break off the conversation.

it goes very slow and she probly doesn't have her mind set on just your conversation with her

it has pretty much on its way to replace the telephone for casual communication.

I know talking on the phone is bad, but in his situation, she/he always knows i'm working on sometime because they usually ask "whats up" and that your chance to let them know you're not wasting your time. theres lots of reasons that talking on aim isn't nearly as bad as the phone etc.

my question is, wheres your evidence?

 

[StockTrader]

AIM is a double edged sword. On the one hand, yes, if you over use it, it can hurt your real life interactions. But on the other hand, it can be good practice.

Earlier this year, I dramatically overused yahoo messenger. I talked to this one girl a few times a week, sometimes hours at a time. It was fun though. We'd make up stories, we'd talk about sex, she'd laugh, or lol, at silly jokes I made. It was more fun than just being on the computer. I practiced alot of stuff. Being C&F, EV, and generally trying to find different things to talk about with women. She was a conservative girl and cute, and by being bold and confident (even online), I got her to take her clothes off (which she had never done before) and I got her so horny, she became my love slave, and she tasted her ***** juices after cumming one night and crazy stuff like that.

Even though it was fun, it started to replace real life interactions. It can become too safe and too fake. Don't let it replace real life interactions. This girl I was talking to, lived a few hundred miles away from me. There was virtually no chance or desire to meet in real life.

You aren't necessarily "wasting your time" though. If you can't get over rejection in real life, try online. Say something that you wouldnt say to a girl in real life and see how they react. If you survive and if the girl actually likes, you can say to yourself, "maybe its not so bad in real life either." They are still women either way.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Also, if she sees you online on a friday or saturday night shes gonna think your a loser.

 

[siph]

"I dont do that AOL ****"

thats what i tell any girl i am interested in when she asks for my screen-name. If you have the ****ing time to talk to girls for hours online your not working your DJ skills, get a hobby and improve yourself. I also dont carry a cell phone, which is nearly essentialy at my college. It will often be a week before some girls see me again. I don't have time to keep up with them all. If they ask me where i am going that night I tell them the right parties and if they go we can chill. When they finally do find me, they are ecstatic. Most girls never find me on weekdays because I am studying and taking care of myself first. They seem to find their own way of enterting my life. Basically AOL is a waste of time. Practice a sport, not talking to girls online. Get good at something else and youll lose your insecurities in the approach and just flow.