Stop trying so hard and just be natural

[Brighty]

For the longest time I've been browsing these forums looking for techniques to pick up girls, I've been skimming along the thread titles picking up whatever interest information I can, but whenever it comes time to put these techniques to the test, they just don't seem to work.

Does this sound familliar to anyone reading this? Does it sound like you?

Well, perhaps you've had the same problems I had.

Really, this post is short and concise, but to quote Pirates of the Caribbean , "They're more like guidelines anyway."

These techniques are not here for you to copy, they're here to be integrated into who YOU are. In other words, the techniques are you. You are not the techniques.

If you go into a conversation with a girl and in the back of your head you keep on thinking "okay, act cool, act cool, don't act nervous, don't act nervous, stay calm, stay calm" unless you happen to be a hollywood quallity actor, the girl is going to see right through you and notice that you're acting the very thing you tried so hard to hide. The same thing applies for what you learn here on the forum, if you go into a conversation thinking "hold eye contact, smile often, smile often, should i initiate kino - WAIT, don't act too interested - i'm the prize, how should I ask for her #?, am I C&F, am I doing it too much? is now a good time to kino her?" she's going to be totally turned off because:

A. You're nervous/tense
B. You have a step by step method, this isn't a science or an alegbra equation - this is about an emotional connection
C. You seem distracted


And if you rely on methods, if you want someone to hold your hand when you talk to a girl and show you what to do to get her to crave your ****, then you're just plastic and fake and you have a lot of work to do. Kino, developing a good C&F personality, and the techniques we learn here are all tools, but tools by themselves don't fix things, there has to be someone to effectively wield the tools.

So what's my point? Loosen up! Lighten up! Don't worry about it if you don't initiate kino with a girl when you see her - its not like she's going to be permently turned off if you don't. ESPECIALLY JUST BECAUSE YOUR A MAN DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR PLAYFUL SIDE, I know it may seem stupid power walk racing a girl to class, and thank god my friends didn't see me do it because they would've cut off my balls, but I'll be damned if I wasn't having fun. Just go with the flow, don't try and follow routines to get numbers down to the letter, you won't become better at it if you just say the same thing over and over again. Incorporate everything you read here into yourself, don't follow it down to the letter, but instead use them as guidelines and as helpful tips.

Happy Hunting

 

[War Against Betaism]

Agreed, the most important thing is mindset, not really techniques. The problem some people face is that they use the techniques as their driving force to attracting women. I think this problem is the most common for those who have read David DeAngelo's books first and his emphasis on ****y and Funny.

 

[jtrain 289]

Exactly Thats What I Keep Saying On This Site Not Only For Girls But For Life. Dont Go Through Life Walking On Egg Shells. But Some People Will Gladly Give Up Their Likes And Dislikes Just To Get Laid.and Have A Reputation. When Thes Things Have Jack**** To Do With Getting Laid.

 

[Kappe]

I think what your talking about comes with time for alot of peaople. They start out looking techniques and quick fixes that will get them laid without any work on their part. Then they go out and screw up because they they do exactly what you said. As time goes by they improve their "inner game", the techniques become a part of them and they don't realy have to think about it anymore. In my experience if what you do isn't consistent with who you are as a person it usually wont work

 

[jtrain 289]

if you really think about it if your being yoruself and you do the exact opposite of everyuthing this place tells you to do girls will still go after you. I find guys who read poetry to girls write journbals and give them to girls and girls love them because these guys are just naturally like that their not doing it cause their desperate their doing it cause its them. You know how harry potter is percieved as a geek girls go biserk about him even though he is a geek in the movie their more in love with his movie self then his real self. Me myelf i act like a total retard. I freestyle and their like 2 second rymes and they dont ryhme and girls love it. I think their is not technique to getting girls . It all goes down to nature if you show them you have a **** they will **** you they dont give a **** if you are the devil. If people are confident enought to read poetry and be open about their geek self its almost 10x easier to show you have a ****. Also i look back to when i was pathetic and not confident about myself and i still showed my desire girls still loved me. Getting a girl had nothing to do with confidence it has everything to do with showing your desire and desire is 100% nature. I think this site talks about confidence so it gives guys a little bravery to show their desire.