Stop the cold approaching, please

[DJCT]

You guys need to get a bigger social circle. Going up to random girls and trying to get their number is just creepy. That's the reason most guys here can't get girls, because they don't have a very many friends; otherwise they wouldn't be cold approaching in the first place. How many girls do you know that are dating guys they met from a random encounter on the street or bookstore? I mean c'mon.

It's not really looks that are holding guys back here, it's the lack of female friends. Women date guys through work and school. The problem is, you guys aren't friends with those women.

Why would I want to pull from my social circle? That's social inbreeding.

Snowman brother, you need to work on your beliefs. Everything you wrote is 100% wrong. Most guys here can't get girls because they spend all their free time on this site writing dumb posts or pining for some some bimbo they're currently idolizing ("But guys--this girl is different. She's special. She's a good girl. etc.) or they are waiting for their social circle to hand them some chick like a genie grants a wish out of his magic lamp. If, instead, they were out in the real world gaining experience by approaching and escalating, they might actually have a clue what they were talking about and not worry about what average, pvssy guys do to get girls.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Originally Posted by Snowman23
You guys need to get a bigger social circle. Going up to random girls and trying to get their number is just creepy.

The title of this thread should be I"m making excuses for not cold approaching. Its one thing to not want to, as u find a social circle satisfy ur needs. But its another thing to flat out call it creepy. This is bullsh1t ur speaking of. To put it bluntly. Going up to random girls and getting their number is the OPPOSITE of creepy. A woman's dream is to be swept off her feet when she leasts expects it. Now will a few out of the many u approach find it creepy? Absolutely...but has nothing to do with u but them. Its creepier just lookin at a chick without doing anything. Admit it Snowman, ur afraid.

That's the reason most guys here can't get girls, because they don't have a very many friends; otherwise they wouldn't be cold approaching in the first place. How many girls do you know that are dating guys they met from a random encounter on the street or bookstore? I mean c'mon.

Thats the beauty of the game. Being in the 10% of guys who get 90% of the women. The #1 reason why guys can't get girls because they're not taking the effort of going for it nor getting better game. There are guys even with social circles who still cold approach. Cold approaching is in our nature. As a man, we want to go up to that hot piece of ass and later on **** her. Society is to blame to condition us that its wrong or that we can't do it. There are plenty of guys who great with women off cold approaching who don't have very many friends. They have the buddies they know and still get lots of pvssy. So that statement is null and void. For ur last stattement. Thats the purpose fo the game, we are a rare breed. We are what the women truly want. Why else would women have dialated eyes when they see a guy cold approaching a girl? Shouldn't they be like "oh...its creepy! He should not be doing that!" FAR FROM IT! She looks on with amazement and she herself wanting to be seduced that way. I've seen it myself, at various times, just going up to a girl, see a cute girl nearby smiling at what i did.

Also wats so godly about having big social circles? Sure u can get lots of connections, have lots of potential for more ***** that is easier to get. But i personally also, has some others have said, having too many friends can be draining. Drama can develop and what if something happens to where ur social circle plummets? Where's ur access to ***** now? I was part of a fraternity, which is a social circle by default, and even then....all i cared was just gaming girls i randomly see. So i should just rely on the girls that are given to me? Or should i have more choice, despite it being a numbers game? ;-)

It's not really looks that are holding guys back here, it's the lack of female friends. Women date guys through work and school. The problem is, you guys aren't friends with those women.

Trust me dude, most guys who have many female friends are not getting laid from them. They deep down just want to **** them. I don't want to be friend these women, i want to just fvck em. Why be friends with them if u want more than that? So this friendship should not be a true friendship and fake? C'mon now.

 

[Juan_Man]

Cold approaching works either if you are at a place where girls are expected to be approached (like a bar, club, or some type of party) or if you can find some good reason to talk to them (like the girl is reading a book that you have read or if you have seen her at an event before).

Don't just spot a random girl shopping with a banging body that you want to be on and commence a mackdown. Now that is creepy!

 

[Touchout]

Now I'm reminded why I don't trust most of the advice on this site anymore, it seems somewhere within the past 5 months a shift in logic has happened and everyone thinks cold approaching is bad. Every other thread I open is about someone talking about how bad cold approaching is, have you guys ever thought that it could be you?

99% rejection rate... hah:crackup: If you approach 100 girls, and get rejected 99 times, congrats you just figured out 99 ways NOT to approach a girl. In your next set of 100 approaches, hopefully some of that experience relates to a lower rejection rate.

I duno about you, but I don't want to be like all my other friends, stuck in their scarcity mindsets, hellbent on getting those 5 attractive girls in our social circle.

 

[RokyRoc]

Creepy = Socially inept and outside comfort zone

Which is saying that if you are the chill DJ girls will never even think about it. The only time it gets to creepy is if you can't read her and actually talk to her, if you know what I mean. That or you just forgot to shower and put on some deodorant.

 

[NorPacWolf]

I get cold approached and opened fairly frequently by women. From what I've found, these women are of all ages and races. NONE of them has struck me as noticeably dysfunctional or "weird" in the psychological sense. A number of them DO seem nervous, or shy.

Furthermore, once the sun is down and the alcohol is flowing, these women can become quite sexually and verbally aggressive.

In other words, it is perfectly normal and acceptable for people to cold approach, this includes women approaching men as well as men approaching women.

From what I can tell, many many many women are extremely grateful if you cold approach them, ESPECIALLY in big cities, but also in small towns, since it is social convention (read: "normal") for men to approach women first, although that social convention is beginning to change noticeably.

 

[AKA FLEX]

I prefer cold approaches to being "hooked up" by my network of friends. For one thing, if things end badly, it is just between me and her, without anyone else being dragged in the middle. Nobody risks endangering any friendships, etc.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Cold approaching works either if you are at a place where girls are expected to be approached (like a bar, club, or some type of party) or if you can find some good reason to talk to them (like the girl is reading a book that you have read or if you have seen her at an event before).

Don't just spot a random girl shopping with a banging body that you want to be on and commence a mackdown. Now that is creepy!

^That is more the reason to go up to her. The fact that she has a banging body. U aren't making any apologies for going up to her. Now why would that be creepy? Because society says we have to have money, have a body of a greek god, have lots of status before we can approach a girl, randomly, who's equal as a human being and who just lives getting by?

 

[SinJester]

Girls FANTASIZE about meeting the guy of her dreams in normal places like the supermarket. Enough said?

Come on telling guys not STOP cold approaching? Sorry sir but you are a goober! Even if they don't get success right away they are building their CONFIDENCE and SOCIAL SKILLS. This will improve their game even in their own social circle. Not only that but he will be meeting new people which will expand his existing social circle! So it seems regardless of whether he actually gets laid from it, cold approaching has a lot of benefits.

One of the biggest things you get from it is getting out of your comfort zone. This builds confidence and encourages risk taking. Someone asked how it builds confidence, that's how. Hell if you go out and get rejected 99 times that's brilliant! We should all do that. Imagine how much less you would care if you got rejected that 100th time! Once you no longer care if you get rejected, because it has happened so many times that you realize you aren't affected by it and are still alive, your success will skyrocket. From there you will get positive experiences instead of rejections, and that takes your confidence from not caring to expecting success. Or you could stay in your social circle?

Since when has having friends been related to success with women? Sure you MIGHT get social proof but it depends who these friends are and more importantly who you are. We all know how well being friends first with girls works. I'm sure that social circle game is valid and worth learning, but it's no reason to stop cold approaches. If you stuff something up in your own social circle it's there to stay, with cold approaches you can try whatever you like on a variety of women. When you figure out what works you can integrate it into your social circle game.

You tell us we shouldn't cold approach because average guys don't, but since when has doing what the average guy does got us any success? Sure, let's all only date girls in our social circle by giving them chocolates and flowers and making sure we are friends first, after all it's what normal people do. Hell why are we on this site anyway?

If you say that cold approaching is creepy you obviously have limiting beliefs. You also clearly haven't done any. How can you judge it without actually doing it? Almost everyone who has done it for a decent amount of time has said how most girls are actually open to it. They enjoy it. This is probably because by doing it they build up the social skills required in order to get such a response. You know, the kind of skills you don't have.

If you don't want to cold approach, fine. If you can get girls without it, great! However please don't encourage other people not to do it, and whatever you do, don't attack it unless you have sufficient experiance with it. Theorys don't count.

 

[L777]

OP you're just a pvssy, somple as. What happens when you go somewhere new or move house, or your 'social circle' is staying in for the night?....you need to cold approach.

This is such an AFC thread, I don't even know why I dignified it with a response.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

SinJester, +1 Rep.