Since reaching a level of great success with women and now a girlfriend who seems to worship me, I've started to realise that a large percentage of the seduction material guys are reading is the very thing that is keeping them from having any success.
Attraction is not a science and all this intellectualizing and strategizing in the seduction community is turning guys into obsessive control freaks.
Attraction is natural. You might see hot women with ugly guys and wonder what they said/did to win her over. Well, the chances are those guys never did anything except be themselves and the women just happened to find something attractive about them. Either that, or the woman has some ulterior motives (money, fame, social power etc).
I have a friend who is qualified in psychology and obviously has a lot of textbook knowledge. However, this has turned him into a control freak. Just like me a year ago, he starts out quite well with women, gets a good rapport going and there's a spark, yet he analyses way too deeply, strategises over his next move, and if there's a drop in interest (real or imagined) he'll spend hours, even days plotting what he should say and how he should say it. When it fails, he tries a new strategy or a new personality and just ends up digging himself into a deep hole. Women that used to like and respect him get frightened and want to get as far away as they can. Then he gets frustrated because he's lost control the situation; he gets angry at them and bitter towards women, because he doesn't see that HE was the one who causes all his problems. This was my problem until only months ago, and the main reason I couldn't sustain a relationship.
Sadly, this is something guys studying seduction are doing regularly and don't even know it. Worse still, they're basing a whole community around this obsessive intellectualizing. It's a case of the blind leading the blind, sharing strategies and analyses, thinking too much, trying too hard, and convincing each other they can control women. However, this is the very thing that causes most of their problems and the very thing they need to let go of.
You cannot convince a woman to find you attractive! Even the greatest hypnotists of the world do not have any long term control over their subjects, and even the short term control is limited. Even then, they have special conditions to work under and their subject must be willing and compliant to begin with. Needless to say, if you find a willing and compliant woman, you will not need this seduction stuff in the first place.
You all need to drop this control freak mentality, stop strategising, stop analysing, stop worrying and remember that women have a free will. You can practice being a more charismatic, sociable and better person to improve your chances. You can even give and withdraw attention, but ultimately, a woman is going to draw her own conclusion about you and make her decision based on what she wants for herself.
Successfully picking up women is simply a matter of finding one with who you share mutual chemistry and attraction. If it's not there, keep searching.
See for yourself...of all the problems guys have with women, most are caused by this control freak mentality. This is the problem of the AFC and "nice guy" who try to control women with niceness, and unless you get out of this loop and stop trying to control everything, these problems will persist, regardless of how you look or act.
Attraction is not a science and all this intellectualizing and strategizing in the seduction community is turning guys into obsessive control freaks.
Attraction is natural. You might see hot women with ugly guys and wonder what they said/did to win her over. Well, the chances are those guys never did anything except be themselves and the women just happened to find something attractive about them. Either that, or the woman has some ulterior motives (money, fame, social power etc).
I have a friend who is qualified in psychology and obviously has a lot of textbook knowledge. However, this has turned him into a control freak. Just like me a year ago, he starts out quite well with women, gets a good rapport going and there's a spark, yet he analyses way too deeply, strategises over his next move, and if there's a drop in interest (real or imagined) he'll spend hours, even days plotting what he should say and how he should say it. When it fails, he tries a new strategy or a new personality and just ends up digging himself into a deep hole. Women that used to like and respect him get frightened and want to get as far away as they can. Then he gets frustrated because he's lost control the situation; he gets angry at them and bitter towards women, because he doesn't see that HE was the one who causes all his problems. This was my problem until only months ago, and the main reason I couldn't sustain a relationship.
Sadly, this is something guys studying seduction are doing regularly and don't even know it. Worse still, they're basing a whole community around this obsessive intellectualizing. It's a case of the blind leading the blind, sharing strategies and analyses, thinking too much, trying too hard, and convincing each other they can control women. However, this is the very thing that causes most of their problems and the very thing they need to let go of.
You cannot convince a woman to find you attractive! Even the greatest hypnotists of the world do not have any long term control over their subjects, and even the short term control is limited. Even then, they have special conditions to work under and their subject must be willing and compliant to begin with. Needless to say, if you find a willing and compliant woman, you will not need this seduction stuff in the first place.
You all need to drop this control freak mentality, stop strategising, stop analysing, stop worrying and remember that women have a free will. You can practice being a more charismatic, sociable and better person to improve your chances. You can even give and withdraw attention, but ultimately, a woman is going to draw her own conclusion about you and make her decision based on what she wants for herself.
Successfully picking up women is simply a matter of finding one with who you share mutual chemistry and attraction. If it's not there, keep searching.
See for yourself...of all the problems guys have with women, most are caused by this control freak mentality. This is the problem of the AFC and "nice guy" who try to control women with niceness, and unless you get out of this loop and stop trying to control everything, these problems will persist, regardless of how you look or act.
