Stop fixating on targets and outcomes. Instead fixate on PROCESS

[jaymbrs]

I've been doing this for years and have gotten minimal success from it but I think it's because I take it too far sometimes. Some have said they were intimidated by me and those who I attract, have said I think too highly of myself. Still learning that balance.

 

[mjb3617]

This is why I keep coming back here. Love this comment, and it is so true.

To put this in military terms... NEVER reinforce failure: always reinforce success. The problem I see with most men is they throw resources at PROBLEMS thinking they can fix something, rather than saving those resources to exploit real opportunity.

Back in 1921, a former WWI British Army captain developed the "Man in the Dark" theory of warfare.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03071842109421930

The theory basically says that when a man is in the dark he leads with his hands, probing and looking for the light switch, he uses his hands because these are highly mobile extremities that provides protection... a man does not walk in the dark, leading with his face.... he moves cautiously and slowly, probing for the light switch. He developed this theory after watching the slaughter on the Western front in WW-I. Where Field Marshals and Generals would make general assumptions and go all in in attacks. When you don't have perfect information, you should move cautiously probe, and when you have success with that 'probe', then you reinforce that success.

Many men act like WWI generals, they go all in right from the start without really knowing they will have success. Dating should be 'probes'.... low resource operations, testing the waters... if you have success, then you commit your reserves. Make dates, be observant, pay attention to what your date is doing... if she is open to you... then and only then do you make a concerted effort. MOST of your dates should go no where, in fact under the best of situations, you should have a success rate of less than 30%, but it is all about the PROCESS.

Be cautious, be the man in the dark, because you ARE the man in the dark. If you move slowly, with patience, then women that really like you will put in some effort... this is what you want. Now it is true that some chicks that REALLY like you might not chase you from the start. These women tend to be damaged and will be pains in the @ss to date. Your strength is rationality and self-control... USE THAT to your advantage. Patience and self-control will cause women that REALLY want you to put forth effort... this is what she wants... if she likes you but won't chase you, she is NOT acting like a sane woman, and you don't want her. REMEMEBR THIS. If a woman is not chasing you she is either a game playing crazy or she isn't interested... this is not an opportunity that you should be spending resources on.

You're post reminds me of this video by Jocko and how he talks about collecting data points on a woman you're interested in. The way he talks about it makes it very simple to understand.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Smasher one of your better posts.

How about just call it talking to them? The term cold approach needs re branded. Its perfectly ok to open a girl to conversations.
Besides that great post. IDGAF is about internal game and is everything

I’m with you 100%

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've been doing this for years and have gotten minimal success from it but I think it's because I take it too far sometimes. Some have said they were intimidated by me and those who I attract, have said I think too highly of myself. Still learning that balance.

For me it amounted to a few months of being a complete AH and then I auto-calibrated to the right level that I now pull off successfully. Those few months are training in achieving true detachment.

 

[BadBoy89]

I say it again and again, but it falls on deaf ears because of your influences from Hollywood and your feminized education:
Develop a habit and lifestyle of judging and rejecting women, and you will find a new reality that you never knew existed.

Theory this good, but no women in 2021 who is youthful and any type of look to her is going to waste 2 seconds with a guy who is “judging her”. This is cancel culture era, you can‘t say anything to offend anybody, let alone a hot young girl is in demand by the genetically blessed and ultra rich.

No problem rejecting women who are older, uglier, heavier, divorced, or single moms. But if the women is between 20-27 and good looking? I would almost say simp until you get pregnant, then do whatever the hell you want.

This is one issues of this site, preach “don’t simp, be strong, don’t take crap.” OK that’s fair, but by the time a man figures it out the youthful sexy girl is already pregnant.

 

[RangerMIke]

Smasher one of your better posts.

How about just call it talking to them? The term cold approach needs re branded. Its perfectly ok to open a girl to conversations.
Besides that great post. IDGAF is about internal game and is everything

Yep.... that is what it is. You are just starting up a conversation with a stranger. That is all it is at the start. PUAs have totally fvcked up everything by suggesting EVERYTHING is part of gaming. I hate the term 'cold approach' because it immediately assumes that the woman you are approaching is a target... you don't know a fvcking thing about her accept how she looks, and the hotter she is to more likely she is going to be a pain in the @ss anyway. Even if you talk to her for 15 minutes guess what? You still don't know enough about her to make any kind of decision.

You have to ask for her number, she has to give you the correct number, she has to answer your call, you have to make a date, she has to say yea, then she has to keep the date, then you have something to work with. Until you are alone with a woman, on a date she is an enigma.

 

[SW15]

Process is good. Fitness needs to be a part of that process. If you don't have tattooed dirtbag look, having a decent salary and some solid possessions will help though money game is much more difficult to play in 2021 compared to 1971 or 1981. Women make their own money now so you need to make a lot more money now than you would have had to make in 1981 to impress women.

Looks and the right persona is right mix today in seducing.

 

[RangerMIke]

Theory this good, but no women in 2021 who is youthful and any type of look to her is going to waste 2 seconds with a guy who is “judging her”.

Well.... not just young women, no woman wants to be judged. But don't take @Atom Smasher too literally, his point is valid, but rather than using the term "judge", a better description is that she fits you. She is trying to see if you fit her: the man should do the same. But everything starts with the woman.

First and most important thing is does she like you, then does she like you enough to go out with you, then at that point you get to know her to see if you want the same things. At anytime you learn that she doesn't fit in your life, you cut her loose. Why? Because she is doing the same thing to you. If she wants a relationship and you don't, she isn't going to waste any time cutting you loose. If she is looking for a dude that has money, and you don't have it, she is going to cut you loose.

The problem with men is that we tend to be myopically focused on getting laid, so we discount all the red flags that might indicate a chick is going to be a problem if we think sex is on the table. If all you want to do is get sex... well... believe it or not that isn't that hard. You just have to dress well work out and make an effort and it will happen. Heck you can even just cut to the chase and hire prostitutes. But if all you care about is your notch count... well look good, spend money, try and that will happen. If you don't care about sticking your d1ck in crazy, there are plenty of chicks that are available to you.

 

[DonJuanjr]

The problem with men is that we tend to be myopically focused on getting laid, so we discount all the red flags that might indicate a chick is going to be a problem if we think sex is on the table. If all you want to do is get sex... well... believe it or not that isn't that hard. You just have to dress well work out and make an effort and it will happen. Heck you can even just cut to the chase and hire prostitutes. But if all you care about is your notch count... well look good, spend money, try and that will happen. If you don't care about sticking your d1ck in crazy, there are plenty of chicks that are available to you.

That's the thing... Regarding the topic of this thread... If they need to be told this, then they don't have a ton of experience. I think focusing on the notch count is important. I would think it would slowly calibrate men into what is being suggested.

 

[joesbigship]

Develop a habit and lifestyle of judging and rejecting women, and you will find a new reality that you never knew existed.

When you truly DGAF, women sense that and find it hugely attractive. It completely changes the way you carry yourself and what you project outwardly.

Definitely hyperbole and disastrous for most men if applied literally. However, it is true in a collective and economic sense as I explained in this post (#19). Basically, if we were to collectively pay less attention to women, our dating lives would become far easier:

Beer Goggles: The New Normal

At first, it just seemed funny, just kind of a one-off weird post. But these "weird" posts are showing up all the time. Dudes have fvcking lost their minds. Biggoal is chasing 50+ grannies and in his twisted mind they actually are hot. He's also into ugly asian women calling 4/10 asian chicks...

www.sosuave.net

The problem with trying to implement indifference on a personal level are twofold:

-there's been a huge spike in buyers due to the implementation of social media. Indifference, taken literally, means you will be outworked by 90 to 95% of prospective daters and you will be left with nothing.

-indifference game is heavily, almost exclusively smv dependent. Indifference may work great for 8+ SMV men, but prove diastrous for ALL MALES 6 and below.

I do agree that you should do your best to ignore the hyper sexualized messaging of media but total indifference is neither possible nor constructive for most men in most cases.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Theory this good, but no women in 2021 who is youthful and any type of look to her is going to waste 2 seconds with a guy who is “judging her”. This is cancel culture era, you can‘t say anything to offend anybody, let alone a hot young girl is in demand by the genetically blessed and ultra rich.

No problem rejecting women who are older, uglier, heavier, divorced, or single moms. But if the women is between 20-27 and good looking? I would almost say simp until you get pregnant, then do whatever the hell you want.

This is one issues of this site, preach “don’t simp, be strong, don’t take crap.” OK that’s fair, but by the time a man figures it out the youthful sexy girl is already pregnant.

OP didn't say anything about being rude to her. He's saying to have a DGAF attitude towards little miss cute t!ts.

 

[Velasco]

OP didn't say anything about being rude to her. He's saying to have a DGAF attitude towards little miss cute t!ts

This is common sense.

Which has guys here acting like

 

[Cao]

I am going to both agree and disagree with Atom Smasher.

I have a natural tendency to be somewhat aloof around women. I don't engage in excessive small talk. I don't offer a shoulder to cry on or sympathize with their problems. I don't have to pretend that I DGAF because I really don't. In addition, I compliment very sparingly. In fact, I've had more than one woman say something like "OMG, this is the first time you've complimented me on something!" This is both a pro and con. The "pro" part is obvious. The "con" is that some women think that I am a d!ck (and contrary to popular opinion, that does not necessarily make women wet). However, I have concluded that, on average, the upside of my attitude significantly outweighs the downside.

As far as "brainwashing" yourself to feel superior, that's a bit of a fool's errand in my opinion. Instead, focus your energy on actually becoming superior. How? By improving your social and financial status. You'd be surprised how having money, a high status career, and most importantly, accomplishments, naturally makes you feel superior to other people, including women. You want to get to a point in life where the challenge is not to feel too superior. That is a much better challenge to have that constantly trying to big up yourself.

This is no brainwashing but wisdom.

We are factualy superior because we are geneticaly engineered to be. Our thirst for power is hardwired.
They can't beat us at anything when we put our mind into it and they don't want to beat us.
They let us compete and choose the guy they can reach.

Women have/want to live their life trough men.