Stole best friend's gf on accident. Interesting story.

Ace of Flames

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I should have made this thread a while ago, when all this was first starting, but oh well.

It seems that my awesome-ness has caused my best friend's gf to fall for me. At first, I tried to discourage her, and told her not to think about me that way, to stay with my friend, etc. It didn't really work.

Now, the three of us would hang out all the time. Chill in my dorm, go to the movies, go eat, drive around. And everytime we were together, me and her would constantly flirt. I guess I just couldn't help myself. But her... wow, she's brave. She'd do it right in front of him! Anyone could plainly see what we were doing, but he'd never say anything. Up to this day, he's never commented on it. Maybe he really is that clueless? I dunno.

So we'd flirt, and we'd talk on the phone, and we eventually figured out we really liked each other. Add on the fact that their relationship was kind of falling apart already, and then I came along and accelerated it. I felt kinda bad about that, but even if I tried to stay out of this, she'd still like me, so they were doomed either way.

Fast forward to this week. Currently, they're pretty much over without knowing it. She feels no attraction for him at all. She doesn't look at him when he's talking to her. She can't even stand to kiss him, she always pulls away. Either he's really that stupid and can't pick up on those obvious signals, or he just can't let go. In his eyes, they're still 'together', and he thinks it can come back. I doubt it.

On Monday, she came over to my dorm, alone, and we were going to study some stuff she needed to know for work. Heh, so much for that. We ended up making out and such for about 2 hours. First time we ever went that far, and also, first time I made out with someone for more than 15 seconds. Don't ask. Anyway, that was fantastic.

Next night, she called me, and we basically talked about "What the hell did we just do?". Now, all through this whole thing, we've talked about how we shouldn't really do this, and how messed up it is for my friend. My reasoning is that he wasn't strong enough to keep her, and I just happen to be a better catch for her. Makes sense right?

Now, the only thing that's holding her back from straight up leaving him and going with me, are these "unwritten rules of dating". Where you don't date your friend's gf, and where you don't date friend's ex's, in which the second one is stupid to me. A friend had a girl and now she's off limits forever? Stupid.

Its like, her head is telling her this is wrong, but her heart is telling her its oh so right. She's trying sooooo hard to resist me, but she gives in sometimes, like on monday. A girl is governed by her emotions, right? She's torn in half here. She wants me, she really really does. But with all the circumstances surrounding that, she just can't seem to take the leap. And I think she's a very strong person for that.

I talked to my friend the other day, and I was asking him about their relationship. He basically said that she hardly talks to him about anything anymore, but she'll talk to me and her friends. So I asked him if he thinks they might break up, and what would he do if they did. He said that he would understand if they did, and he hopes it doesn't happen anytime soon, but he could see it happening. And if it does, he said "That's life man. I'll just roll with it". Ok, so maybe he isn't quite as clueless as I thought. It doesn't seem like he'd be amazingly hurt if they did break up, but I wonder if he'd be mad if I go with her. Btw, he'd have no problems finding a new girl. He's sort of a natural, at least with getting them. Obviously, not as good with keeping them.

Her and I planned to meet up again on Wednesday night, but she ended up working late, till like 10:30. Her family won't let her go out that late. Guess we can try again tonight or tommorow. Maybe on the weekend. So it seems like her emotions are starting to take over her mind. No doubt that if she did come over again, we'd just make out even longer, or move on to other things...



So. What do you guys think? I'm a horrible friend and person? I should keep going for it? It's his own fault? Forget about this girl and move on? I don't have oneitis for her or anything, and I don't feel like I'd really be hurt if this doesn't work out, but I'd immensly prefer if it did. I've already gotten more good out of this whole thing than bad, so I'd call it a positive experience overall.

Anything else you guys need to know, just ask. Otherwise, any input is great, so bring it on. I'd really like to see the general opinion on this.
 

zerocelcius

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Tell your friend what is going on, tell him to get out now and move on.

BOTH of you Move on! She is an :moon: !! Don't be like her. Don's don't cheat on friends!

:nono:
 

Fortunate_Juan

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I agree, there was a girl I was going for... but she was taken and I had the opportunity to sex her up, but didn't because it isn't the honorable thing to do. After they broke up, I sexed her, but we were both drunk.. haha. I really don't have much to do with her, she's a head case.. Do you want to date some one who goes for "the grass is greener" thing... just something to think about.

Bros before ho's man, he may not give you any ***** but he'll never fck you up the ass either.
 

Ace of Flames

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I should add this:

I had no intention of doing anything with her while they were together. And I didn't, other then the flirting and all. About 2 weeks ago, she told me that they're on a "break", and are sort of unofficially broke up. They still hang out, but its more like a friend thing. They haven't had sex since like, August. So I decided that she's fair game now, since they aren't unarguably together anymore. Its just this little bit left hanging on, you know?

I should also say that I'm totally aware of the potential consequences of this whole thing. Losing my friend, losing my friend and this girl, having the girl cheat on me later, etc. But, I'm asking for it. I'm prepared for the worst. I'm young, I can take it. Its all about the experiences we have in our life. I'd rather do something like this and LIVE life than be 'safe', and never take any chances. The only things worth having in life involve some amount of risk. The better it is, the more there is to lose. You have to be prepared to lose it.
 

itishe

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AoF, if you want to keep your friend, keep that ***** away from you.

That ***** could leave you three weeks down the road, but friends just don't walk out because things are "falling apart". Be smart and pick the one who'll always be there for you.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

zerocelcius

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I felt the same way once. I went ahead and messed around with my best friends 'ol lady. He found out and told me "If you wanted to f*## her you should have just said so, we could f#$ her together" Which wasn't what I wanted, but I could tell it hurt him very much.

In the end they got back together and I lost my best friend. All I got out of it was Regrets.

My serious advice would be to let them officially break up if you have to get with her. Or even better take your friend out and both of you pick up on some other HBs and leave this chick alone.

your call.
 

Ace of Flames

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zerocelcius said:
"If you wanted to f*## her you should have just said so, we could f#$ her together"
Hahaha, that actually sounds like something he'd say. But she wouldn't be up for that. She doesn't want him anymore. Frankly, I don't wanna do that either. Threesome with 2 guys is just like doing your girl and letting another guy do her while you rest. Like taking turns. Not kool.
 

Phyzzle

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There just isn't any way to keep both.

We can't say that your friend is more important than the girl, and we can't say that having the girl would be nicer than having the friend.

But I guarantee you cannot have both. Your friend's brain just isn't going to work like that, I'm sure of it.

It doesn't matter if you wait a few weeks after the break up to "officially bang her" or whatever. He's still going to hate you for getting what he wasn't good enough to keep.
 

zerocelcius

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Phyzzle said:
There just isn't any way to keep both.

We can't say that your friend is more important than the girl, and we can't say that having the girl would be nicer than having the friend.

But I guarantee you cannot have both. Your friend's brain just isn't going to work like that, I'm sure of it.

It doesn't matter if you wait a few weeks after the break up to "officially bang her" or whatever. He's still going to hate you for getting what he wasn't good enough to keep.
I didn't say it any better!

Truth!
 

syed

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Ace of Flames said:
I should also say that I'm totally aware of the potential consequences of this whole thing. Losing my friend, losing my friend and this girl, having the girl cheat on me later, etc. But, I'm asking for it. I'm prepared for the worst. I'm young, I can take it. Its all about the experiences we have in our life. I'd rather do something like this and LIVE life than be 'safe', and never take any chances. The only things worth having in life involve some amount of risk. The better it is, the more there is to lose. You have to be prepared to lose it.
This is retarded, dude, and I think deep down you know it...

It's not RISKY to take your friend's girl.
Taking your friend's girl is not about LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST.
It's retarded.

You know what's "playing it safe"? Stealing your friend's girl. Instead of reinforcing & strengthening your relationship with your best friend, you are throwing that all away for a vagina.

You know what really LIVING is all about? It's about having people around you that you trust with your life. Think about it.
 

Ace of Flames

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Phyzzle said:
There just isn't any way to keep both.

We can't say that your friend is more important than the girl, and we can't say that having the girl would be nicer than having the friend.

But I guarantee you cannot have both. Your friend's brain just isn't going to work like that, I'm sure of it.

It doesn't matter if you wait a few weeks after the break up to "officially bang her" or whatever. He's still going to hate you for getting what he wasn't good enough to keep.

I know. I'm no fool. There isn't going to be a universal happy ending to this. Everyone is losing something, and only some are gaining in return.

All I can hope for is that I'm the one gaining something.


To syed: For all intents and purposes, she's hardly 'his' girl anymore. I probably sound like im rationizing things, and I guess I am, but the only way one can call them "together" is by their titles. The substance isn't under it.
 

zerocelcius

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Sounds like you made up your mind.

Your title does say it is a story and not a question.

Well Hit it once for your friend too than!
 

Ace of Flames

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Right. Its not a question of if I should do it or not, its a question of how can I make it happen. Also, just for other's experiences with this kind of thing.

I've had it decided for a while that I'm going to ride this thru to the end and see where it takes me. Whatever happens, happens.
 

Ace of Flames

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Come on now... my threads never get responses.

At least more people telling me how horrible I am. I expected that. Come on guys, come tell me I'm a bad friend.
 

Taviii

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I think you should talk to your friend and reconsider the situation after talking. You'll see how he feels about it.

If I were him I would give you my blessing (already did it with about 3 girls before and felt no regret)

If I were you I wouldn't go for it if it would mess up your friendship, but if he agreed then I would do it.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

88888888

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Ace of Flames said:
I should have made this thread a while ago, when all this was first starting, but oh well.

It seems that my awesome-ness has caused my best friend's gf to fall for me. At first, I tried to discourage her, and told her not to think about me that way, to stay with my friend, etc. It didn't really work.

Now, the three of us would hang out all the time. Chill in my dorm, go to the movies, go eat, drive around. And everytime we were together, me and her would constantly flirt. I guess I just couldn't help myself. But her... wow, she's brave. She'd do it right in front of him! Anyone could plainly see what we were doing, but he'd never say anything. Up to this day, he's never commented on it. Maybe he really is that clueless? I dunno.

So we'd flirt, and we'd talk on the phone, and we eventually figured out we really liked each other. Add on the fact that their relationship was kind of falling apart already, and then I came along and accelerated it. I felt kinda bad about that, but even if I tried to stay out of this, she'd still like me, so they were doomed either way.

Fast forward to this week. Currently, they're pretty much over without knowing it. She feels no attraction for him at all. She doesn't look at him when he's talking to her. She can't even stand to kiss him, she always pulls away. Either he's really that stupid and can't pick up on those obvious signals, or he just can't let go. In his eyes, they're still 'together', and he thinks it can come back. I doubt it.

On Monday, she came over to my dorm, alone, and we were going to study some stuff she needed to know for work. Heh, so much for that. We ended up making out and such for about 2 hours. First time we ever went that far, and also, first time I made out with someone for more than 15 seconds. Don't ask. Anyway, that was fantastic.

Next night, she called me, and we basically talked about "What the hell did we just do?". Now, all through this whole thing, we've talked about how we shouldn't really do this, and how messed up it is for my friend. My reasoning is that he wasn't strong enough to keep her, and I just happen to be a better catch for her. Makes sense right?

Now, the only thing that's holding her back from straight up leaving him and going with me, are these "unwritten rules of dating". Where you don't date your friend's gf, and where you don't date friend's ex's, in which the second one is stupid to me. A friend had a girl and now she's off limits forever? Stupid.

Its like, her head is telling her this is wrong, but her heart is telling her its oh so right. She's trying sooooo hard to resist me, but she gives in sometimes, like on monday. A girl is governed by her emotions, right? She's torn in half here. She wants me, she really really does. But with all the circumstances surrounding that, she just can't seem to take the leap. And I think she's a very strong person for that.

I talked to my friend the other day, and I was asking him about their relationship. He basically said that she hardly talks to him about anything anymore, but she'll talk to me and her friends. So I asked him if he thinks they might break up, and what would he do if they did. He said that he would understand if they did, and he hopes it doesn't happen anytime soon, but he could see it happening. And if it does, he said "That's life man. I'll just roll with it". Ok, so maybe he isn't quite as clueless as I thought. It doesn't seem like he'd be amazingly hurt if they did break up, but I wonder if he'd be mad if I go with her. Btw, he'd have no problems finding a new girl. He's sort of a natural, at least with getting them. Obviously, not as good with keeping them.

Her and I planned to meet up again on Wednesday night, but she ended up working late, till like 10:30. Her family won't let her go out that late. Guess we can try again tonight or tommorow. Maybe on the weekend. So it seems like her emotions are starting to take over her mind. No doubt that if she did come over again, we'd just make out even longer, or move on to other things...



So. What do you guys think? I'm a horrible friend and person? I should keep going for it? It's his own fault? Forget about this girl and move on? I don't have oneitis for her or anything, and I don't feel like I'd really be hurt if this doesn't work out, but I'd immensly prefer if it did. I've already gotten more good out of this whole thing than bad, so I'd call it a positive experience overall.

Anything else you guys need to know, just ask. Otherwise, any input is great, so bring it on. I'd really like to see the general opinion on this.

You're lucky your friend is clueless because to be honest I would have dropped you hard with a cheap shot and continued to batter away at you because essentially that's what you did to him. You should have never flirted with a friends girl. I think you're just as whooped as he is for doing it.
 

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what's amazing to me is that you can justify your actions to yourself.
 

Ace of Flames

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Ok...

I'm turning the idea in my head, and I think I'm going to step back from this one. I'm not closing off the option just yet, but I'm gonna wait on it. I'll let her figure out what she wants without my input, and we'll see what happens. If she comes to me after they've "officially" been broken up, for a while, and talks about getting together, there should be no problems. I'm sure he'll have moved on and found another girl by then, and he might even be happy for us. Even if they aren't together anymore, they're going to be friends. He SHOULD be happy that two of his friends are happy together, right?

So anyway, that seems to be my plan. Maybe you few guys will stop hating me now, though I don't really care if you do or not. In the meantime, I have other girls in my classes and around campus that I can go for, without all the problems surrounding this one. Drama is hard work.
 

stuartSan

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A friend I can understand, but your best friend?

You need to work on your priorities. In case I reach a low in my life, I'd rather have someone stand up for me, compared to a woman who leaves with another guy.
 

Mr. Ballz

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Then why dont you go for the other girls and stop being a ****. It seems you just want something easy probably because you cant get anything else. First, I would never do this to a friend. Second, I would hope to be punched in the face than spat on if I did this to my best friend. I dont know how close you are to your friends, but its hard to find descent ones, and we all have much respect for eachother. We all joke and have fun, but there are obvious boundaries. You would never be one of my friends.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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