Still a chance after my neediness and jelousy ruined it?

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

i had 3 dates with this young girl, the last two dates were spending two days at my place, since she is living a bit far away. The dates were great! Sexual stuff happened and she seemed totally into it.

One week after the third date we set up a new date but i noticed that she started texting me less. I called her and somehow neediness took over and really fu**ed up. Started to complaining about why she got cold and asked if she is seeing someone else. She told me she went out with some "guy friend" for coffee in the meantime but told me it was just a meeting between "friends". I called her out on it, said that I dont like it. I know, i know.... Then she started talking about she doesnt think it makes sence because of the distance and stuff. The arguing went on and I said well do whatever you want to do and I will just move on and hung up. She texted me how disrespectful that was, that I hung up and blocked me on the messenger. After that I blocked her too.

Well I know I need to work on myself and I realize all my mistakes of being too needy, getting too attached after 3 dates and being jealous.

I thought this will go somewhere since we had such a good time but now Im just angry at myself for acting like that.

I would like to keep her but I dont know how I should proceed now. I know there is almost no chance after my "drama behaviour" but what is the right thing to do?? I thought about apologizing and telling her I had a bad day.. But I read often enough that it is a bad idea to say sorry to women. Or should I just let time pass and call her after some weeks in the hope she picks up and act like nothing happened and start to game her again??

What do you think?

Im thankful for every answer I get!

Regards
summersky

 

[switch7]

Turn the situation around. Pretend it was you who had gone a bit quiet and her who had started complaining that you were being aloof etc etc and then got pissed off that you had a coffee with a girl and then she hung the phone up on you. Would this not be a huge red flag after 3 dates?

Text and apologise saying that you are in shock of the way you just acted and that it was completely abnormal for you. Wish her well and be on your way. At least this way you gain back some self respect.

 

[AlphaNate]

Congratulations for being aware of your mistakes.

Now have some respect for yourself and move on.

 

[Glassguy]

You were pushing for a relationship after 3 dates. Totally wrong. Its the woman's job to do this and dont expect it after date 3, even if there was sechs, because thats too soon unless she is screwed up.

You should simply say:

"Sorry for the way I acted, I never act like that. I had a good time with you but you're right, maybe the distance could be an issue and we both need to pursue closer opportunities. If you're over my way hit me up. Take care hun."

Then dead silence. No more responses unless she mentions getting together at a particular time and place. Period.

 

[randalljohnson]

Seeing the comments, I hope you're aware that most people on the Internet will tell you "there's no hope,move on." I feel alot of this is projection.

You obviously fumbled the football and went full beta. From what I hear, even if you go full beta but you go no contact fairly quickly, she'll eventually come back around again AT SOME POINT in the future. Especially if shes the type that craves male attention. Although it was only 3 dates. Obviously theres no guarantee she'll come back, just like there's no guarantee anybodys ex will come back. Go NC, practice with other women, maybe she'll come back around in the future.

 

[dude99]

Hi everyone,

i had 3 dates with this young girl, the last two dates were spending two days at my place, since she is living a bit far away. The dates were great! Sexual stuff happened and she seemed totally into it.

One week after the third date we set up a new date but i noticed that she started texting me less. I called her and somehow neediness took over and really fu**ed up. Started to complaining about why she got cold and asked if she is seeing someone else. She told me she went out with some "guy friend" for coffee in the meantime but told me it was just a meeting between "friends". I called her out on it, said that I dont like it. I know, i know.... Then she started talking about she doesnt think it makes sence because of the distance and stuff. The arguing went on and I said well do whatever you want to do and I will just move on and hung up. She texted me how disrespectful that was, that I hung up and blocked me on the messenger. After that I blocked her too.

Well I know I need to work on myself and I realize all my mistakes of being too needy, getting too attached after 3 dates and being jealous.

I thought this will go somewhere since we had such a good time but now Im just angry at myself for acting like that.

I would like to keep her but I dont know how I should proceed now. I know there is almost no chance after my "drama behaviour" but what is the right thing to do?? I thought about apologizing and telling her I had a bad day.. But I read often enough that it is a bad idea to say sorry to women. Or should I just let time pass and call her after some weeks in the hope she picks up and act like nothing happened and start to game her again??

What do you think?

Im thankful for every answer I get!

Regards
summersky

Put a fork in this one. It's done. Learn from this and move on.

Guy when they start to pull away, trying to reel them in, getting jealous, picking fights will make her interest level plummet.

When they start to pulll away you go do your thing. Be busy date other women. She will notice you haven't been around. She will then come around. When you are comfortable in your own skin and YOU SHOW YOU DON'T NEED HER, she will come around.

Acting needy, jealous, high maintenence will get you ignored and blocked and she now referes to you as "a crazy guy i went on a few nightmare dates." She referes to dodginga bullet when your name is brought up.

Learn from this and move on.

 

[randalljohnson]

I'm not trying to give the guy false hope, but if you have the balls to go no contact (most likely for an extended period of time) it's not IMPOSSIBLE for her to come back. I wouldn't bank on it, but not impossible. Over time, if she thinks about you, she'll remember the good times. Your problem is that you don't have much of a history with her, only 3 dates. It may be done for good, but all you can do is occupy your time dating other women, improving your skills, and maybe she'll resurface in the future

 

[randalljohnson]

Guy when they start to pull away, trying to reel them in, getting jealous, picking fights will make her interest level plummet.

I was once guilty of doing this. We weren't exclusive, and I got jealous when she backed away and I knew she was hanging out with other guys (you have to let her be free. If you're not in an exclusive relationship, she's free to sleep with whoever she wants. Trying to take that away from her will just plummet her interest level.) I'd also pick fights with her because she was backing away. My situation was a bit more salvageable because me and her knew eachother for several months, much more than 3 dates. She also never did anything drastic like block me on social media, like she did to this guy. I'm not sure if I would apologize and go NC, I'd probably just go NC. Flip a coin if she'll come back in the future, but don't give yourself false hope.

 

[resilient]

Fear and intimidation does not create attraction.

Besides the way the you called her up and got jealous, there must have been other activity that you exhibited on those first three dates to drive her interest level lower to warrant the distancing.

Never call out a girl on seeing other people when you're both clearly not exclusive. She should be the one worrying what other plates you're seeing, not the other way around.

You learned where you messed up in your behavior, now take the time to fix those insecurities so you don't drive away future plates.

 

[AlphaNate]

@randalljohnson you're so misguided. Read this:

You learned where you messed up in your behavior, now take the time to fix those insecurities so you don't drive away future plates.

None of us cares if OP gets his girl back. This is about protecting your own frame.

 

[dude99]

I was once guilty of doing this. We weren't exclusive, and I got jealous when she backed away and I knew she was hanging out with other guys (you have to let her be free. If you're not in an exclusive relationship, she's free to sleep with whoever she wants. Trying to take that away from her will just plummet her interest level.) I'd also pick fights with her because she was backing away. My situation was a bit more salvageable because me and her knew eachother for several months, much more than 3 dates. She also never did anything drastic like block me on social media, like she did to this guy. I'm not sure if I would apologize and go NC, I'd probably just go NC. Flip a coin if she'll come back in the future, but don't give yourself false hope.

His best bet is to next and move on. If by some magic fluke she misses him and contacts him so be it. Resume from there but i believe any attempt on his part to say sorry or try anything else she will just think he is a guy who can't take a hint.

 

[randalljohnson]

His best bet is to next and move on. If by some magic fluke she misses him and contacts him so be it. Resume from there but i believe any attempt on his part to say sorry or try anything else she will just think he is a guy who can't take a hint.

Do you think if he had a longer history with her she would've considered it more in the future?

 

[dude99]

Do you think if he had a longer history with her she would've considered it more in the future?

No. Any time a guy gets needy, a girls frustration level with him will increase.

After 3 dates after 3 months after 3 years, it won't matter. Girls are programmed to seek out the best provider, confident, guy who is at ease in his own skin.

Note this. Women are attracted to men. When a guy goes beta on her he is acting like a woman and women deep down DON'T LIKE EACHOTHER. Being needy she won'tl like you either.

 

[Trump]

You should simply say:

"Sorry for the way I acted, I never act like that. I had a good time with you but you're right, maybe the distance could be an issue and we both need to pursue closer opportunities. If you're over my way hit me up. Take care hun."

I wouldn't say this.

1) Don't say "sorry" in writing. She will use it against at the most opportune time for her.
2) Don't say "I never act like that". She then knows she can easily get to your emotions
3) Don't say "If you are over here hit me up." Then if she hits you up and you are with another girl, she can use it against you.

"I had a good time with you but you're right, maybe the distance could be an issue and we both need to pursue closer opportunities.
Take care hun."

There. You haven't committed to anything or incriminated yourself. That way if it goes to Court, she doesn't have anything on you.

 

[summersky]

Thank you for the answers, you guys really helping me out!

Wanted to add that the last two dates were both spending two full days together, she was sleeping over. After both dates she told me how amazing it was. It was crazy in bed, we were crazy about each other! Im sure she would have come over this weekend, if I didnt acted like that.

So some of you tell me to tell her that I realize I was acting weird, some of you say just going no contact. Im still not sure what the best option is for having a tiny bit of a chance that she comes around in the future??

Like I said she blocked me on the "famous" messenger and I blocked her too, dont know if that was a good move!? Only way she could come around in the future is to call me on the phone or after I unblock her and she unblocks me. Weird situation.

So i could send her a sms but Im not sure if I should text anything like the text example above.

 

[dude99]

Thank you for the answers, you guys really helping me out!

Wanted to add that the last two dates were both spending two full days together, she was sleeping over. After both dates she told me how amazing it was. It was crazy in bed, we were crazy about each other! Im sure she would have come over this weekend, if I didnt acted like that.

So some of you tell me to tell her that I realize I was acting weird, some of you say just going no contact. Im still not sure what the best option is for having a tiny bit of a chance that she comes around in the future??

Like I said she blocked me on the "famous" messenger and I blocked her too, dont know if that was a good move!? Only way she could come around in the future is to call me on the phone or after I unblock her and she unblocks me. Weird situation.

So i could send her a sms but Im not sure if I should text anything like the text example above.

Way too much thought and stress over a 3 date girl.

Go date other women. Next.

 

[randalljohnson]

No. Any time a guy gets needy, a girls frustration level with him will increase.

After 3 dates after 3 months after 3 years, it won't matter. Girls are programmed to seek out the best provider, confident, guy who is at ease in his own skin.

Note this. Women are attracted to men. When a guy goes beta on her he is acting like a woman and women deep down DON'T LIKE EACHOTHER. Being needy she won'tl like you either.

On the flip side, going NC after going beta is a sign of strength. A lot of guys will just pursue pursue pursue until the girl either blocks them, files a restraining order,or flatout tells them to go eff themselves. Not saying going NC will get them back 100% of the time, but it does show strength (in my eyes)

 

[Initiatedindenial]

How old r u/is she? Sounds like a teenager liaison.

 

[dude99]

On the flip side, going NC after going beta is a sign of strength. A lot of guys will just pursue pursue pursue until the girl either blocks them, files a restraining order,or flatout tells them to go eff themselves. Not saying going NC will get them back 100% of the time, but it does show strength (in my eyes)

Agreed. No contact and or nexting is for you to move on and heal. Not to get them back anyways

 

[greatsnake]

On to the NEXT woman in line.