Staying with a girl when there are no better options at the moment?

[otr4]

Have you guys ever kept hanging out with a girl, (even though you pretty much know she is not right for you, is a flake, or does annoying things) when you have NO better options at the moment?
I'm kind of in this situation right now. My goal is to start hanging out with/meeting other girls, but this one girl has been the focus of my attention for a while and at this point in time I have no other girls around to call or hang out with at the moment. I know, I know, this is my fault--I should have been collecting girls/opportunities over the past few months, but I just kind of stopped. I feel that if I NEXT this one girl I've been hanging out with, I'll be with NO women for at least a little while and this SUCKS! I was on a dry steak for years before I found this site, started learning, and finally got my act somewhat together and I don't look forward to having NO women around in my life again! PLUS, I live in this big house near my college and my roommates are leaving for THREE weeks for Christmas, so I'm going to be in this awesome house all by myself and it's the perfect time and place to have a lady over. I feel like I should NEXT this girl I've been hanging out with (and I usually would if it weren't for this particular scenario) but I want at least ONE woman around.
What do you guys think?

 

[PlayerinTraining]

Have you guys ever kept hanging out with a girl, (even though you pretty much know she is not right for you, is a flake, or does annoying things) when you have NO better options at the moment?

In a word--no.

I'm of the opinion that if I enjoy someone's company and the advantages of the relationship outweigh the drawbacks, no matter who I meet, I'll keep those people in my life.

If for some reason a woman who I'm attracted to starts causing problems, or I'm just not attracted to her, I won't pretend I like her just to keep her around until something "better" comes along. That's what chicks do because they are insecure about being alone.

I don't mind being by myself. In fact, I can see it has many advantages.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Big Pappy]

Ahhh. The bittersweet memories of my jaded past. I recall the days when I was a kept man. All manner of benefits, except one.

Oh, the pain I felt when I met this one girl. Her smile made my heart leap and my step lighter just thinking of her. But, alas, I was not "free" to make this lady's acquaintance, because I had an agreement with the matron of the house. I got free rent, free food, free utilities and she got , well, she got her money's worth.


But, I digress. Not everyone will see the parallell that I do.
By keeping this girl around, because there are no other ladies in the queue, you will never have another lady in the queue. Look how the ladies stopped lining up when you became affiliated with this young lady. I am not saying you are bad, nor do I say that she is bad. However, it is obvious to me, that you two are bad for each other.

Do both of you a favor and "next" yourself. You are not doing anyone any favors by sticking with the status quo.

The comment below is meant to be sarcastic (because I am in a silly mood! )
Least of all us AFC types who find it difficult to even look at a fat, ugly girl without breaking into a cold sweat. Oh, yes, we all feel so very sorry for you!


Seriously, I wish you luck in your struggle to develop some more character. It won't be easy.

 

[otr4]

Help me out guys!
I realize that for most of you these words are just some random letters on a computer screen, but your imput really does affect my life in a big way. I trust the opinions on this board and I would really like to hear your opinions. Thanks!

 

[The Package]

I have done what you are talking about, for close to a year actually, we broke up in september. I was so used to being in a relationship that I perferred being in a bad one to nothing. So I kept her around. Overall I believe it to be a bad call, I kept myself depressed for a year because the girl I wanted was not the girl I was with. (metaphorically)
But the only way to work your current situation, is is to pick a date by which you two will break up, say january 5. This keeps someone around during the holidays (which sounds like what you want.) and ends it in your mind. You know you don't want her but you have to work your way out because you might want to go back now and then. Besides why burn a bridge if you don't have to right?

***Key point here: You have to be a man at this point, you have to set a date and honor it, anything less and you DESERVE the woman you are with because you lack the courage and discipline to honor yourself...***

Smooth and subtle is the way to go, unless she's REALLY bad I say end it like you began it, with style... Because that, my friend, leaves an impression.

But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

try to meet other girls while u r seeing this one - u could b missing out on other opportunities while u r going places with the girl u dont want and not being at places wher u could meet girls ----- but who wants to b alone - right - i prefer quality over quantity - i have low tolerance levels for certain things - depends on your tolerance level!!!!

 

[madgame]

Maybe its just an excuse for you to not dump her and go through some pain, cause u have feelings for her?
Anyways, I think its your decision. So either u break up with her and find some new girls, or which I actually think would be a better decision in your situation, dont dump this girl but try and not think of her all the time and all this bull****, focus on other things and get your ass up and get to know other girls. and THEN next her.

It might sound undonjuanish to some members here but I made the experience that dumping somebody u like will give u some pain and is really hard if u dont have any other options yet. But soon as u do have some other options ull probably be cool with breaking up with her.

 

[Reto]

Yeah. I've done that. Staying in it just for the sake of having someone.

I now look at it this way. Ever had a job you didn't like or wanted a better one? The only way I am going to find a better one is when I don't have one. Other wise, I have no reason to look.

Same with girl friends. When you don't have one, you get off your @ss and start looking. It's priority one.

Thing is too, you owe it to her to tell her the truth. In my situation, I was holding on even though it sucked. Finally, She told me "found some one" which she did. It hurt more than if she had told "it's just not working".

It's better to end it than to string some one on...

 

[Monkey]

Originally posted by Reto
It's better to end it than to string some one on...

Absolutely, although women do it ALL the time with guys, never stay with a girl just because.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

the fact that you asked the question in the first place indicates that you're in a somewhat "needy" situation and are insecure about not "having" someone.

therefore...

if you like her, see more people and put her lower on the priority list, and YOU at the top. you should do this anyways.

if you don't like her, end it NOW. you're just prolonging the suffering. don't YOU deserve better?

if she's just a FB and she's cool with it, more power to ya!

use her as a social proof, although i really don't like that angle because it indicates a NEED to have a social proof. what real DJ needs to have a social proof? it's an okay crutch, though, if used sparingly IMO.

either way, you have to ask yourself why you asked the question. then, wake up and do something about it.

 

[Ricky]

I'm in a similar situation now.

I do have feelings for this girl. I've been with her for two years. It is a crutch. I have dated other women at the same time.

We both are pretty sure we won't make it long term, like marriage.

I actually want her for a friend. She means alot. I can meet plenty of other women, but I do enjoy her company.

So I am in that boat. And it is steadily sinking LOL