Stay cold or make her realize??

[FuturePlayer101]

Alright!! Bit of background first.. I posted on here a while back saying I briefly met a girl & she moved abroad & we're kinda long distance now.. It's been around 9 months that I haven't seen her.. We use to talk every day, her starting the convo's ALWAYS. She then joined some forum & began drifting away from me. I secretly joined that forum too to see wtf was going on.. She found out it & now is hugely pissed off at me..

Onto the current situation:

Now I start ALL the convo's, she's really angry about what I did & even refuses to admit she loves me (she clearly does, will explain why shortly).

So I came here.. I got advice to spin plates so I went into my kitchen and spun some plates lol.. Nah, just playing, I got advice to go cold, I have done so, been 2 weeks, I ain't said a word to her & vice versa.

The advice I wanted is:

1. Should I stay cold? And for how long? Her birthday is coming up soon, wish her or ignore her?

2. Or should make her realize her feelings for me? Example: I give her a call telling her that I'm not too well & I'm quite serious & this is probably the last time I'm ever gonna contact her.. just to see what she says..

The reason for option 2 is: I last called her over a month ago, I had been in hospital for real, it was serious. I told her about it when I got out of hospital & she broke down, told me she's still in love with me & doesn't want anything to happen to me.. So clearly, she still has feelings for me! Then after around 2 weeks, she went back into pissed off mode. This was my fault, I went AFC on her because I was bored at home for a few weeks, had to stay home until I was well enough to go to work/out.

So stay cold or make her realize her feelings for me once again?? The only problem with going completely cold is that new people contact her every now and then on that forum so will she really even miss me??

I know I’m gonna get a lot of “stop wasting your time” but in your life times, how many times have you met a girl you really thought “she’s the one”. Out of all my past gf’s & flings, she’s the only one – it’s why I am trying to fix this.. otherwise I wouldn't give a f*ck.

 

[Skyline]

Stay going cold. No contact because you still have oneitis. And spin plates like what everyone said. You need to move on, if you're lucky she'll contact you after a prolonged time of NC- especially after that AFC outburst. But by then she should be below you. Just Save the dignity you have left.

I've met about 3-5 girls whom i thought who was "the one." Its all in your head. And you cant make a girl "remember her feelings for you." If it were that easy forums like this would not be needed.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

Stay going cold. No contact because you still have oneitis. And spin plates like what everyone said. You need to move on, if you're lucky she'll contact you after a prolonged time of NC- especially after that AFC outburst. But by then she should be below you. Just Save the dignity you have left.

I've met about 3-5 girls whom i thought who was "the one." Its all in your head. And you cant make a girl "remember her feelings for you." If it were that easy forums like this would not be needed.

Alright cool, thanks for the advice man..

I don't actually want to make her "remember" her feelings, I just wanna make her realize she still has feelings for me. If I call her, tell her I'm unwell, she breaks down, starts crying and admits her feelings like last time.. then I let her make all the effort & I don't go AFC this time.

Not a good plan?

 

[happyDJ]

Alright cool, thanks for the advice man..

I don't actually want to make her "remember" her feelings, I just wanna make her realize she still has feelings for me. If I call her, tell her I'm unwell, she breaks down, starts crying and admits her feelings like last time.. then I let her make all the effort & I don't go AFC this time.

Not a good plan?

No. You're delusional. You can't make her realize the feelings she has for you. Also, read this: http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1qb7mi/she_doesnt_love_you/

Now. You have to let go. Really let go. You shouldn't care at all about her. If she comes back, ok. There are literally millions of other girls, thousands of which will like more and they'll like you even more back. Fvcking realize this. Stop trying so hard. The only way you might get her back, is when you know you absolutely don't need her. "But by then she should be below you".

Once you feel this, I think there's a better way than NC. But you can't always do it. You have to be able to meet her accidentally or on situations where you didn't make them happen. Then, make her feel like you're totally ok with what happened, you didn't even notice it. Don't tease her, until she initiates several times. Be a fun guy. Be outcome independent. Cross her on the street, say something to make her laugh and keep going, don't look back. You get the picture. Don't look at her with needy, begging eyes.
But sometimes this is not possible. And you shouldn't care. Don't say anything on her birthday. You forgot about it, not that you ignored it. If it's too obvious that you could not have forgotten it, send her the shortest message, no fancy stuff. One exclamation mark.

If you have the time, and if would do it anyways if it wasn't for her, then spin plates. (I'm not a plate spinner, I let them come mostly and I choose, my time is precious. I really don't NEED plates, nor any ex.)

PS - Calling her telling you're unwell?! And she'll break down and cry... Picture your DJ role model. You think they would ever do this? You think they would be unhappy about any of this? No. Figure out why. You're thinking like a needy boy, asking mom for attention.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

No. You're delusional. You can't make her realize the feelings she has for you. Also, read this: http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1qb7mi/she_doesnt_love_you/

Now. You have to let go. Really let go. You shouldn't care at all about her. If she comes back, ok. There are literally millions of other girls, thousands of which will like more and they'll like you even more back. Fvcking realize this. Stop trying so hard. The only way you might get her back, is when you know you absolutely don't need her. "But by then she should be below you".

Once you feel this, I think there's a better way than NC. But you can't always do it. You have to be able to meet her accidentally or on situations where you didn't make them happen. Then, make her feel like you're totally ok with what happened, you didn't even notice it. Don't tease her, until she initiates several times. Be a fun guy. Be outcome independent. Cross her on the street, say something to make her laugh and keep going, don't look back. You get the picture. Don't look at her with needy, begging eyes.
But sometimes this is not possible. And you shouldn't care. Don't say anything on her birthday. You forgot about it, not that you ignored it. If it's too obvious that you could not have forgotten it, send her the shortest message, no fancy stuff. One exclamation mark.

If you have the time, and if would do it anyways if it wasn't for her, then spin plates. (I'm not a plate spinner, I let them come mostly and I choose, my time is precious. I really don't NEED plates, nor any ex.)

PS - Calling her telling you're unwell?! And she'll break down and cry... Picture your DJ role model. You think they would ever do this? You think they would be unhappy about any of this? No. Figure out why. You're thinking like a needy boy, asking mom for attention.

I KNOW I can make her realize her feelings.. In the past she's lost interest, I didn't back off then, just played along as normal as her interest level went back up. But this time, it feels different and tbh I really don't feel like fighting for her anymore - trust me, done some crazy sh*t for her but I'm getting fed up..

I'm trying to let go, but it ain't easy. No contact for 2 weeks, it's been tough but I'm not gonna give in now. I went on a date with some girl I recently met, through out the date, I couldn't stop thinking about this girl..

P.s. Yep, that was the idea, make her cry, confess her feelings once more and then completely back off & let her back the effort - I thought it was a good plan, guess not..

 

[Driggs]

she moved abroad & we're kinda long distance now

Why bother with her? Find someone local. Sounds to me like she used your following her as an excuse to have a blowup. She probably has another dude. Forget her.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

Why bother with her? Find someone local. Sounds to me like she used your following her as an excuse to have a blowup. She probably has another dude. Forget her.

Driggs!!! I remember you! lol. Onto the reply..

I was really bothered at first, really hurt, obviously didn't show it to her but now I ain't too bothered no more.. I like her ALOT - that's the problem.

I'll be honest as to why, I've had a rough past, there are many things I ain't shared with no one, none of my ex-gf's, this girl broke into that part of me and I've told her some stuff about me.. She's the 1st one I've felt something for. That's why it's hard to just let go. But sometimes you aren't mean't to be with someone & I'm learning that..

Yeah, gonna move onto finding someone more local now..

 

[tripod23]

the more you chase .....the faster she will run......then you look like a pest. just dont give them the attention they crave to feel good about themselves.

women are just as insecure as some men , let her wonder about you . if she wants to speak to you she knows how to get in touch......

 

[Driggs]

LOL! I didn't see who OP was.

OP, why didn't you take the advice 30 people gave you to forget all about this chick? SHE LIVES IN AUSTRALIA. She is being a cvnt.

FORGET HER.

This is uniquely pathetic. Reminds me of when I had a woman in Australia completely hung up on me through no fault of my own.

Driggs!!! I remember you! lol. Onto the reply..

Why are you still dcking around with this stupid bint? You could have been over it two weeks ago easy.

 

[Greasy Pig]

And what if she finds out you were faking the illness? Then she'll - quite rightly - run for the hills cursing your name.
Go ghost, for your own sake.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

the more you chase .....the faster she will run......then you look like a pest. just dont give them the attention they crave to feel good about themselves.

women are just as insecure as some men , let her wonder about you . if she wants to speak to you she knows how to get in touch......

Alright cool, thanks for the advice man.. Was chasing her before, done with that.. I AM THE PRIZE - she needs to chase me now.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

She lives in another country!

Lol, that was your answer to nearly everything..

 

[FuturePlayer101]

LOL! I didn't see who OP was.

OP, why didn't you take the advice 30 people gave you to forget all about this chick? SHE LIVES IN AUSTRALIA. She is being a cvnt.

FORGET HER.

This is uniquely pathetic. Reminds me of when I had a woman in Australia completely hung up on me through no fault of my own.


Why are you still dcking around with this stupid bint? You could have been over it two weeks ago easy.

Hahah, you remember me too! lol..

I've kinda taken the advice on board now, backed off completely, no contact. If she doesn't get in touch again, then I ain't gonna contact her either and from the looks of it, that's how it's gonna be..

I thought I already explained why I was "dcking around" with her.. See my 1st reply to you in this post, you'll see what I mean..

 

[FuturePlayer101]

And what if she finds out you were faking the illness? Then she'll - quite rightly - run for the hills cursing your name.
Go ghost, for your own sake.

Oh yeah, I should've mentioned that the plan WAS to fake an illness, make her break down & confess her feelings for me once again and then tell her I lied to her to see IF she still has feelings for me.. Then I let her make ALL the effort.

So in a sense, I'd be pulling her leg, done that loads of times..

 

[FuturePlayer101]

I know!! Because I am trying to drive home the absurdity of it.

Hahah, I know it's ridiculous.. I've only recently opened my eyes & begun to see the stupidity of it all..

 

[TheGambino]

Just back off for a bit OP. Give her space, let her come to you. Don't be ignorant or rude just let her initiate, it won't do you good if you keep chasing her. Judge by her actions not by her words and her action is silence so you got your answer there. You want a healthy relationship where she likes you and respects you right? Well let it come from two sides then, it's her turn to reach out to you now if she doesn't well then you know she moved on and so should you.

I was in a similar situation, the only difference is that the partic girl lives in my village and I see her quite often. I was overchasing and trying to get her to chase me again. It didn't work she actually got more distant, in the passed I figured to let her go and move on. When I did that she reached out to me herself 2 weeks after NC.

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. Your best bet is GHOST! There is no such thing as "the one". That's bullsh*t spewed all over music, books, movies, and video games. Judge nismo ain't buying this Disney fairytale sh*t. Move on.

Case closed.

 

[FuturePlayer101]

Just back off for a bit OP. Give her space, let her come to you. Don't be ignorant or rude just let her initiate, it won't do you good if you keep chasing her. Judge by her actions not by her words and her action is silence so you got your answer there. You want a healthy relationship where she likes you and respects you right? Well let it come from two sides then, it's her turn to reach out to you now if she doesn't well then you know she moved on and so should you.

Yep, I've backed off.. There's only one thing though, in the past, she's been like this 2 or 3 times, I didn't back off, kept my cool etc..and she came right back, wanting all my time and attention..

I was in a similar situation, the only difference is that the partic girl lives in my village and I see her quite often. I was overchasing and trying to get her to chase me again. It didn't work she actually got more distant, in the passed I figured to let her go and move on. When I did that she reached out to me herself 2 weeks after NC.

Thanks for sharing your experience man. Maybe she'll come back after some distance, maybe not, time will tell..

 

[FuturePlayer101]

Your princess is in another castle. Your best bet is GHOST! There is no such thing as "the one". That's bullsh*t spewed all over music, books, movies, and video games. Judge nismo ain't buying this Disney fairytale sh*t. Move on.

Case closed.

Possibly.. But if she was, she wouldn't be playing video games 24/7..

There is "the one" - my dad was a player before he met my mum, and after he met her, everything changed.. I've seen what my parents have so I know "the one" does exist but it's VERY rare, probably 0.00001% of people get it..

 

[SemperDJ]

OP, she is not the one.
As OP is still in a delusional state of Oneitis, I understand.
Time will tell you that the one is not the one and the one you think is the one will turn out not to be the one.
Best bet, go out and have fun. OP will meet another girl, then OP will forget the one and the new girl will become the one if OP is still delusional.
Sincerely - Not the one