Stating the obvious: pursuing uninterested options is bad for you

[Suspens]

Adverse effects:

• Kills your confidence over time
• It does set you back in game, to the point where you will have to start posting stupid noob questions here again.
• Limits your opportunities in life, not just with chicks
• Most of your time and energy will be invested on something that won't pay well.
• Makes you overlook your goals and ambitions.
• Distracts you so much that you won't even notice that beautiful lady who is standing there and checking you out.
• AND in the end, after you manage to get into her stinking pants, you just realize it wasn't a golden cave anyway. Just another fishy-smelling, cheese leaking pisshole.

Stop chasing. Yes challenge is fun, but not in this area of life.

 

[Infern0]

It is true, i kind of strayed into this area over the weekend, well it was a girl from back when, she'd reached out to me after a good 8 months. Back before i'd done AFC stuff so i'd tanked her IL.

Anyway after she reached out she had initial high IL or so it seemed, so had a bit of fun with her friday night, and then boom back to the same as before, I didn't really do anything wrong as far as I can tell but i must have done or said something that put her back in the low IL state.

Anyway saturday she was in contact and that and then on sunday I shot a message to try set something up for later in the week, flaky sort of response and then pretty much blowing me off.

I bailed out and will leave it alone now, but just that couple of day period sucks the life out of you.

OP is right, if interest level is below a 7, I wouldn't bother with it

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

Same here, girls who are wishy washy get blocked. I don't need to waste a lot of time trying to raise their IL in little increments. This no doubt results in a lot of quick (sometimes too quick) deletions and blocks but thats just how it goes. No need to waste time on sh1t.

 

[bigneil]

This is 100% true. The women who are willing to go out with us are spread out over a spectrum of interest level. On one end, there are those who we barely tolerate but who love us. On the other end are the ones who barely tolerate us but who we love.

Going out with women on the bottom 30% of the IL spectrum is EXTREMELY bad for your ego. Especially when they know that they haven't been true to you but that you are back for more anyway. You might talk her into seeing you again, but at some point (when you make her feel awkward because she has to let you down) she will snap and say "Do you REALLY think I like you?" and (many women) will actively try to hurt you at this point. It's not pretty after that. You almost have to go through it a couple times in order to be ready for it. When it happens, you have to eject instantly while remaining stoic (see my post about The Ultimate Test: Her Rejecting You for more on this).

The last thing we want are iffy-maybe, kinda-sorta, wishy-washy, half-assed dates.

Doc Love covers this when he says "Never go on vacation with women who do not have high IL".

The moral is: only go out with women who pursue you slightly more than you pursue them.

 

[usernamedox11]

It is true, i kind of strayed into this area over the weekend, well it was a girl from back when, she'd reached out to me after a good 8 months. Back before i'd done AFC stuff so i'd tanked her IL.

Anyway after she reached out she had initial high IL or so it seemed, so had a bit of fun with her friday night, and then boom back to the same as before, I didn't really do anything wrong as far as I can tell but i must have done or said something that put her back in the low IL state.

Anyway saturday she was in contact and that and then on sunday I shot a message to try set something up for later in the week, flaky sort of response and then pretty much blowing me off.

I bailed out and will leave it alone now, but just that couple of day period sucks the life out of you.

OP is right, if interest level is below a 7, I wouldn't bother with it

maybe she was just never that into you?

 

[bigneil]

Sounds like my last relationship. It's amazing how much heartache hurts, and how long it hurts. I've come to realize that a woman causing a man heartache is the battery of life. They hurt us, we suffer, we improve ourselves in response, we are rewarded for it, and the cycle repeats. The greatest achievements in the history of mankind were done by men who were trying to impress women.

The cycle can never end, either. You can never be good enough. You'll just get a hotter, younger girl and you'll be in the same boat. Look at Hollywood divorces. The biggest studs of the Century paid out $200 Million EACH on average.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I've never turned it around with women I'd dropped the ball with. The bangs I've gotten (and I was a late bloomer) were high interest from go and I got them quickly, with the exception of one BPD LTR that had a long tension and buildup.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Sounds like my last relationship. It's amazing how much heartache hurts, and how long it hurts. I've come to realize that a woman causing a man heartache is the battery of life. They hurt us, we suffer, we improve ourselves in response, we are rewarded for it, and the cycle repeats. The greatest achievements in the history of mankind were done by men who were trying to impress women.

The cycle can never end, either. You can never be good enough. You'll just get a hotter, younger girl and you'll be in the same boat. Look at Hollywood divorces. The biggest studs of the Century paid out $200 Million EACH on average.

So true since the days of Cleopatra, which is why it really begs the question if we should ever fight fire with fire. I know a lot of guys go with the mantra of "the best revenge is living well" and blah blah blah, but no one can deny it's fun to make a girl sweat now and then.

It's been close to two months since I had last contact with my ex and she was surprisingly up to her old tricks leading to another no contact. Of course it wasn't all bad - this girl has a tattoo on her foot as a tribute to me. Don't think that doesn't make me orgasmic.

If and when she's missing me and reaches out again in a few months I have considered telling her "I'm actually engaged - I wish it could have worked out between us but she treats me like a king now." If there's any desire left for you, consider this a dagger to the heart.

Note: Before the passive aggressive dudes on here tell me I'm a pathetic virgin for stooping to her level, I probably won't actually do this. It's just fun to imagine.

Far more productive and equally effective is to look a thousand times better and run into her a year or two later.

 

[GS750]

It is true, i kind of strayed into this area over the weekend, well it was a girl from back when, she'd reached out to me after a good 8 months. Back before i'd done AFC stuff so i'd tanked her IL.

Anyway after she reached out she had initial high IL or so it seemed, so had a bit of fun with her friday night, and then boom back to the same as before, I didn't really do anything wrong as far as I can tell but i must have done or said something that put her back in the low IL state.

Anyway saturday she was in contact and that and then on sunday I shot a message to try set something up for later in the week, flaky sort of response and then pretty much blowing me off.

I bailed out and will leave it alone now, but just that couple of day period sucks the life out of you.

OP is right, if interest level is below a 7, I wouldn't bother with it

Had this happen before, Greasypig helped me out with this one when I had a similar situation. I think sometimes they get back in touch to dangle that carrot in front of you to see if you're still into them. Once you try and set something up to see them, they are satisfied "he still wants me, I'm desireable, whatever" they go back to being wishy washy. If they do this to me now, I ignore or block. They can find someone else to try and turn into an orbiter to feed their ego. Fvck that.

 

[nismo-4]

I use the one strike policy.

One f**k up means I delete you from all platforms and block you online. Stop answering my calls, or go distant, I'll write it off as disinterested.

Uninterested woman comes back, I've met someone better and cuter than you.

 

[Infern0]

Had this happen before, Greasypig helped me out with this one when I had a similar situation. I think sometimes they get back in touch to dangle that carrot in front of you to see if you're still into them. Once you try and set something up to see them, they are satisfied "he still wants me, I'm desireable, whatever" they go back to being wishy washy. If they do this to me now, I ignore or block. They can find someone else to try and turn into an orbiter to feed their ego. Fvck that.

I get that but in this case it was different she Came to see me 2x in a row we hooked up, she was telling me how much she'd missed me, talking me up. I know what being string along is and this wasn't that. She had IL of over 70. Then it dropped into the 40s overnight.

I'm not wasting too much time thinking about it but I'd love any input

 

[usernamedox11]

I get that but in this case it was different she Came to see me 2x in a row we hooked up, she was telling me how much she'd missed me, talking me up. I know what being string along is and this wasn't that. She had IL of over 70. Then it dropped into the 40s overnight.

I'm not wasting too much time thinking about it but I'd love any input

maybe there's a guy she was seeing and used you for a quick rebound and the guy is back in the picture?

 

[thatfeel]

Cheese leaking? Gross dude, lol.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Not enough guys seem to understand that You cannot raise an interest level …her personal situation may change which could temporarily raise it for you but YOU can’t actually do anything about raising it

She’s either into you or she isn’t .......everything in-between is just games

As its been said many times before if she is interested she wont make things too complicated for you.....yes as the relationship progress you do have to expect the odd sh1t test but that’s just her checking your the real deal

 

[Panzergrenadier]

Nexting is the greatest gift for ones sanity. There are 3.5 billion women out there. When you have one with super high interest level, its pretty obvious.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Yup.

First chapter in Art of Seduction by Robert Grene is 'Choose the the right victim'

 

[DiegoSantori]

We love the chase because if we win, it strokes our egos & confirms we may be better than we think. Your ego needs constant nourishment tho, so even if you manage to get the most beautiful woman in the world, you'll still seek other action to feed the ego.

Ego is the reason why so many guys act weak after being rejected and chase her instead of withdrawing their attention.

 

[Suspens]

Ego is the reason why so many guys act weak after being rejected and chase her instead of withdrawing their attention.

Yup. It's funny how you lose interest the moment she starts chasing back.