Starting to think I have psychological issues

[youngmack]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I seem to get attached to literally all girls that I meet , hang out with and bang . Since I first came to this forum , I've jumped from having 0 bangs to 9 !. My game as improved a little and I've learned a lot . But yet I still can't shake the AFC out of me . I literally catch oneitis for almost every girl that I meet and really hang with. Within 4 minutes if bring in a date or talking to one boom I see myself marrying her . I currently have about 6 plates and I'm banging 3 of them, but It's like I'm in love with 2 of them ... AT THE SAME TIME. One of them just told me that she didn't feel strongly about me and that she sees herself with some other dude ima not her state and even thought she isn't my only option nor the most attractive one , that news it hurt me BAD.

Whenever one of my plates tell me about someone else I get really radius and insecure.its like I want them all for myself . This isn't normal but Why am I like this? I think I have some sort of attachment issues or something from my childhood . Maybe my relationships with my parents wasn't how it was supposed to be and as a result I've become dependent on girls to make me happy ? Maybe I'm one of those BPDs .

I'm thinking about going to a psychologist. I act like a little fag b1tch and I can't live like this. Is my problem a psychological problem ? What do u guys think ? I feel this also stems from my self esteem issues also . What should I do?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

OP:

Most people, in fact everyone, has psych issues of sorts to varying degrees. We are only products of nature an nurture, and we shouldn't feel bad about it.

Most guys herein have experienced that oneitis to a greater of lesser extent. Though I have had it bad in the past, I am learning to deal with it and move on more quickly these days. That being said, without wishing to sound condescending, I am a fair bit older than you and have more experience to draw upon in order to move on quickly.

However, I would say the most important factor is respect for yourself and your own standards and boundaries - primarily because chicks cannot be replied upon to respect them.

As I and others tend to repeat ad nauseum, making yourself and your life your priority will help you rationalise between what you want/accept and what you don't want/wont accept.

It takes balls and a very objective outlook to just move on from a chick - i.e. take your emotions out of the equation and not text her back. The more often you do this (when a situation is not what you want/accept), the easier it will become and the more objective you will become about your situations and relationships.

You will become happier. Honestly. It takes time, patience and an iron will. But it does work. Keep the relationships that work for you. Understand the power of the word 'no'.

 

[Atom Smasher]

youngmack, don't be too hard on yourself as this is very normal for many guys your age. As you get older this stuff will moderate. The fact that you have an awareness of it tells me that you'll be steadily working on it.

A word of advice: If you do go for some kind of therapy, DON'T go to a woman and don't go to a fa ggy therapist. You need some male energy and a therapist who understands masculinity.

 

[MtnMan]

since coming to this forum I am starting to have the exact opposite effect! The more girls I bang, the more I think I am broken because I care less and less about them. Hah!

You are very young, and I think this is normal. Your brain probably has not yet adjusted to the fact that women are now suddenly accessible to you. You are aware of the problem, that is half the battle. Just keep doing what you are doing, and I think it will even out.

 

[youngmack]

Thanks for the input . You guys seems to hint at me being young which u hope really is the problem lol . So in this case , is seeing a specialist that necessary? Or could this problem be resolved within myself?

 

[jurry]

I dont understand the value of psychologists, and have never heard of one helping someone.

"So glad you paid me 100$ an hour! You attach to women because of your overprotective mother and oedipus complex!"

Ok. Great. How does this information help anyone? You know what the issue is, you are aware of it. How is repeatedly exploring all the various psychological causes and implications with someone else going to change anything? All you can control is the action you take now.

We all attach to others, things, people, drugs, whatever. Thats the fundamental problem with the human mind - it is never satisfied and always looking for something "out there" that will make it feel complete. But of course there isnt anything out there. The sooner you accept this and give up your thirsty ego and its quest for more more more and mine mine mine the better off you will be.

Enjoy the girl, then let her go. If she comes back, cool. If not, cool theres millions more.

 

[Vulpine]

I think a lot of guys getting started have the same problem. I did, to an extent, because I was still operating with AFC philosophies and outlooks, but armed with new püssy-getting skills.

"THE" one is the scarcity principle bred into you. Use your logic, man. There are over 9 billion people on the planet. That means 4.5 billion women, theoretically, and of those at least a billion are do-able. Of that billion, there has to be at least 100,000 "ONES" that you get along with well.

So, understand that these women aren't "the ones" but "another ones". You aren't warped, you just aren't seeing the bigger picture yet. You don't need to be an ice-cold mack daddy, you are free to actually like women you ƒuck. But, they are just "a one", not "the", because there are many more around.

Start to compare your "The Ones" you've had. Aren't some better than others? At some point may realize that "THE ONES" you've been getting are garbage compared to "a better one" that you might be looking to find: and she might be just around the corner.
:rockon:

Blow that nonsense thinking out of your head: it's a virus that will eat away at your confidence.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

Love, not possess

 

[youngmack]

F*vk the therapy then. I guess I just have to grow up lml

 

[johnywhite17]

I don't know what's wrong with me but I seem to get attached to literally all girls that I meet , hang out with and bang . Since I first came to this forum , I've jumped from having 0 bangs to 9 !. My game as improved a little and I've learned a lot . But yet I still can't shake the AFC out of me . I literally catch oneitis for almost every girl that I meet and really hang with. Within 4 minutes if bring in a date or talking to one boom I see myself marrying her . I currently have about 6 plates and I'm banging 3 of them, but It's like I'm in love with 2 of them ... AT THE SAME TIME. One of them just told me that she didn't feel strongly about me and that she sees herself with some other dude ima not her state and even thought she isn't my only option nor the most attractive one , that news it hurt me BAD.

Whenever one of my plates tell me about someone else I get really radius and insecure.its like I want them all for myself . This isn't normal but Why am I like this? I think I have some sort of attachment issues or something from my childhood . Maybe my relationships with my parents wasn't how it was supposed to be and as a result I've become dependent on girls to make me happy ? Maybe I'm one of those BPDs .

I'm thinking about going to a psychologist. I act like a little fag b1tch and I can't live like this. Is my problem a psychological problem ? What do u guys think ? I feel this also stems from my self esteem issues also . What should I do?

First, I'm not a licensed counselor, so this purely my speculation. However, you don't seem like you have any personality disorder or anything, it just isn't easy to change your core beliefs overnight. Those are beleifs that we don't even actively think about, things like "rapists are bad people" or "people who have sex should have feelings for eachother." You know realize that sex one isn't accurate but it's ingrained in your subconscious with other core beleifs. There is reason we evolved to store some ideas in the "permanent" folder, when cavemen parents stressed that "saber tooth tigers are dangerous" it wouldn't be good to forget this tidbit randomly one day, or start to question "maybe they aren't thattt dangerous." So your culture, parents, whatever, stressed to you that "people who have sex should have feelings for eachother." That bad boy isn't going to go instantly. Even if you're conscious mind knows it's bollocks it takes work. It also takes time, but there are exercises that make it an easier process. Google REBT, or just keep track of your thoughts and jot down anytime you feel you're getting overly attached and emotional. When you can, go back anf reflect, and examine the underlying "core beleifs" that are influencing your mood. Ask yourself if it was valid, and if not write down a more realistic belief that you could replace it with.

Example: Today I cried because Jane kissed another guy.

Core beliefs that influenced me: -people who have sex should be in love -people who are in love should not be sexual with other people.

Are those valid? No.

More reasonable core beliefs: people sometimes have feelings for sexual partners, but it isn't a requirement and it is ok when they don't -people can hook up with more than one person unless they agree not too.

Doing this will help you decide what you want to get upset about and not be stuck with what you used believe.

Anyways, it's not medical advice if you feel violent see a shrink but I think you will find this to be very helpful.

 

[Masculinity]

A word of advice: If you do go for some kind of therapy, DON'T go to a woman and don't go to a [feminized male] therapist. You need some male energy and a therapist who understands masculinity.

I agree with this statement 100%