Starting to see this 9 but I think she's about to cheat or is it in my head???

[starks]

I've just started seeing this very attractive girl. She's easily the hottest girl I've ever been with. She's kind of a hipster so she hides her body, so she often gets overlooked. I'd rank her a 7.5 in day to day clothes and a drop dead 9 at night. When I met her I just wanted to have sex with her. I met her at a club, chatted her for a few weeks then asked her out for drinks.

Went superbly. We made out by night's end but she left my place just as the topic of sex came up. She brought it up and we both agreed it might be "slutty" if we had sex the first night. Took about 3 weeks to get her our for a second date but same result...my place, heavy makeout, but again she hopped in a cab just as things got real serious.

We continued to talk. I knew nothing about her and knew almost nothing about me. I assumed she was talking to other guys and from her Facebook status' I could see she was the type to broadcast how single she was. There was a lot of content about the "hot guy" she saw at the store, etc. And her pics all flaunt her body and get a lot of attention from the guys.

Yet in person, she comes across nervous and insecure. She knows I get a lot of attention from other girls and she comments on it. I continue to play it up, dropping hints about "other girls." We meet up a third and fourth time, both times me seeing her at a club and leaving with her. Now she's begging for sex! It happens. It's ok but it was probably too built up. It's amazing the second time and never disappoints again.

Our physical chemistry is unreal. She kisses me all over the clubs and all over my apartment. We'll just be watching a movie and she's want to hug me and kiss my face during. It seems like it's every 5 minutes. She's 8 years younger than me and she tells me she has been looking for an older guy. Again, I don't know much about her past and I don't ask. She's amazing in bed so I assume she's had some experience. I know of a boyfriend she lived with a couple years ago and nobody has had that title since.

She has told her best friends about me and I've met them and both have given me the thumbs up. She stays over at my apartment about 3 nights a week and we've spent as much as 18 hours together before. And it works. It's never forced.

It feels like I'm getting into something serious here and tension builds. She used to go on about how she just wanted something physical (as did I) but she cracks first and asks me what I want from this. I tell her I enjoy the company and want to see where it goes. I'm not seeing anyone else right now. She says the same. We embrace, etc etc etc

So we establish exclusivity. She goes on the pill and we start having unprotected sex (unreal). My insecurities about being cheated on in the past start to surface so this is a huge step for me. She tells me how disgusting it would be for us to sleep with other people. Her friends call me her bf. It makes her uncomfortable. I wonder if she needs me to take initiative so I do. I ask if we are dating. She backs right off and fights with me for being too serious.

The we makeup, have sex, take a nap while spooning then walk through the mall holding hands? This is all her taking the lead too!

In the middle of the night I check her phone and I see that she's been texting a guy pretty consistently. Nothing out of the ordinary but things like inviting him to a club she's at. It's only disturbing because this was on one of her "girl's nights" and she was texting me the same time telling me how boring the club was. Could be a guy buddy. She has a lot and she has a lot of gay friends too. I did some Facebook research and her and this guy have a lot of mutual friends but no record of ever posting on each other's walls until recently.

Oh yeah, she also has picture of him in his boxers and a t-shirt on a bed on her cel phone. Suspect.

Just tonight, she tells me how lame her night is then says goodnight to me. Two hour later, she's on his wall liking his status' and commenting on irrelevant posts from ages ago. At 4am.

So...I believe I'm seeing this girl exclusively. I asked her to go on the pill, she said it was a big step then surprised me 3 weeks later. She almost cried when my trust issues came up. She mentioned that she was being punished for what other girls did to me because I didn't trust her. It's the weirdest thing, when we're together it's the dream. But then I'll look at her phone and Facebook and it's all kind of suspect. I've given up other girls. What do I do here? Enjoy the ride? Question her? Get out before feelings creep in?

*I could just say I checked her phone and corner her but then I probably lose her and look nuts.

 

[betheman]

from what you have posted she doesnt seem that interested in you, yeah you have had sex, become exlusive...BS!
You dont appear to be her best option, asking another guy to come to the club???
stop investing in her, its not going anywhere and stop letting her take the lead, you do that and cut her off if you have to.

 

[starks]

Thanks for the reply.

I don't know, she's real interested when she's here. She never wants to leave. The guy could be a friend? But I agree it looks real suspect. And from my own experiences where there's smoke there's fire.

You say just dump her cold???

 

[betheman]

Thanks for the reply.

I don't know, she's real interested when she's here....

You say just dump her cold???

if she was really interested she wouldnt be flirting with other guys, she would be contacting you, I wouldnt dump her cold, if you can still get sex, keep going, reduce contact, stop initiating it, start to hit on other women....do you see what is happening here? do exactly what she is doing, let her head start wondering where she stands with you

 

[Tiguere]

this girl got you pussified. you need to start hitting on other women.

 

[Serg897]

this girl got you pussified. you need to start hitting on other women.

This is it in a nutshell, but I'll elaborate.

You are too concerned about it right now. Your post stinks of neediness and investment, more on your part than on hers. You are too available and too concerned about your "status" with her.

RELAX. You are already having sex with her and seeing her regularly, and going out and having other people see you together. You dont need to agree to monogamy right now - what you have is perfect, since without exclusivity you are still free to run your game on other women.

Clearly, she isn't interested enough to want exclusivity since every attempt to bring it up by you has been resisted. You aren't supposed to be bringing it up - just focus on getting laid, have fun with her, have a life outside of her, and the rest will fall into place. You must have an indifferent attitude, and you must not tolerate any nonsense.

I've been where you are before. Every single time, sooner or later, the fact that you are more invested into the relationship than she is will be communicated by what you say and what you do, and she will realize she has power over you. Once that happens it will lead to a treacherous relationship and/or breakup. Don't make my mistakes.

 

[MisterD]

If you think she's banging other dudes, I would probably wear a condom if I was you

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like you're being fooled by how she wants to be perceived (words), and not paying attention to how she really is (actions). Just making her out to be something she's not, and making up excuses along the way. Ex: "Oh, she comments on all these hot guys, talks on the phone with them, has half naked pictures of them, makes out with me right away, met me in a club, wants to have sex, etc, but she's really nice and decent deep down." That's all I see going on here. You know she's trouble, but want to give her the benefit of the doubt - because she SEEMS so nice and innocent in private, and claims that these guys are all "just friends". That's just how she wants to be perceived, and is probably playing along based on how you are. You seem nice and decent, so she too is acting nice and decent.

All I see is you being gullible and naive, and being taken for a ride. She's just feeding you crap, and you're buying it. Her investment is far less than yours, and is almost guaranteed to be playing you with these guys. I'd bet money on it.

 

[starks]

well the sex without a condom stops now. And she did contact me the same night as the other guy. I was at another bar both nights and we had a rather steady conversation. I took her home and had sex with her the first time.

She's free tonight for instance. I was thinking of hanging with her then figuring out things in person. Are you guys suggesting distance and not doing it?

 

[floydb25]

There's no harm in playing along, and doing whatever. Just don't invest yourself so much emotionally, and buy into her crap. She sounds like a player... Worth getting physical with, but not attaching yourself to. Don't become attached when she isn't. Don't let her "lure" you into being in the relationship frame while she remains single, either. Mirror her actions, and plan accordingly.

This is definitely one of those instances where you need to play the game as she is. Players are clever, experienced, and coniving, so be careful. They're usually also hot, and frequent places like clubs.

You have a lot of evidence already, and know what's up. Don't ignore your head, or tell yourself she's not that bad - UNLESS she proves it first. Never give anyone the benefit of the doubt, or avoid red flags.

 

[KingBeef]

RELAX. You are already having sex with her and seeing her regularly, and going out and having other people see you together. You dont need to agree to monogamy right now - what you have is perfect, since without exclusivity you are still free to run your game on other women.

Bump

 

[Serg897]

She's free tonight for instance. I was thinking of hanging with her then figuring out things in person. Are you guys suggesting distance and not doing it?

You can hang out with her. Just focus on having fun. Don't bring up any "relationship talk" or anything like that. If you do this she will want to hang out with you more. If you decide to make it dreary and serious it will repel her.

 

[starks]

Amazing thread. Sucks it's about me.

Turns out she has known this guy for at least two years. Perhaps an old flame or one of her many guy friends.

I pretty much have two options because expressing discomfort is needy and will repel here. 1) Ride the wave and enjoy the sex and see what happens. (what she is doing basically). 2) Blow her off. This doesn't make any sense because technically option 1) is what we're all here for any way.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Why did you guys go exclusive so quick?

When she brought it up, you should have stuck to your guns and said I want to see what happens.

However instead you showed her your hand, made a CRITICAL mistake by failing to continue to see other women.

Why would you do this to yourself?

As a result your are becoming more and more emotionally invested in a low quality girl, where your mind wants to believe she is gf material, but your gut is SCREAMING that she is a slvtty w-hore.


The solution IS to pull back, become unavailable and stop seeing her on the weekends. Go meet new girls and then come back to her when you have a better frame of mind.

If you continue at this rate she will cheat and leave you







PIMP

 

[ladyzman]

She seems untrustworthy so I wouldn't call her LTR material. So whatever you do, don't get involved with her on a serious level. I'm the guy girls have cheated on their bfs for, so can't really tell you I've been in your position of being cheated on (although I must admit I've known what it was like to feel jealousy), but it sounds like history could repeat itself for you if you catch feelings for this girl. Telling you she's having a girl's night out when she's meeting a guy really is a no no if you want me to trust you. Telling you the night is boring when she's prolly having a blast with some other guy is more than suspect. It's enough evidence to secure a conviction for being a lying biatch. So treat her as one.

And no, do not dump her cold. Just see her less frequently, have fun with her,because otherwise you could catch feelings and you'll get hurt again. Be a player, in other words (if you want to keep her). Otherwise be prepared to get hurt.

 

[backbreaker]

this is an extremely easy problem to fix. don't get over dramatic with the confrontations or dumping her or giving her any type of emotional speech.


look. let's analyze the situation for what it is as a whole. i can tell by your post you are a good looking dude. okay. women think you are good looking therefore when you are single you can at least somewhat play the field.

you have this woman who is interested in you enough to have sex with you and likes you but might or might not also like other dudes as well. but there is no question that she likes you enough to have sex with you becuase she has.

she has talked about being "exclusive" but her actions don't 1000% dictate it.


the correct answer here is to mirror to the T her behavior. if she wants to put herself in questionable situations with guys, do not feel bad at all about putting yourself in questionable situationist with girls. i.e spin plates.

you are making an issue out of this when in reality there really isn't. she has told you that she wants to be in a relationship but her actions really have not dedicated it. do your thing. don't shut out other girls. go out, have fun, when she wants to come around and kick it do so, beat that **** up lol, have a good time, but let her do her thing. rather she's doing it or not. when she shows you she wants to be in a relationship, a committed one, not by not hitting on your friends one time but by months of being a decent woman with a good set of morals who does not put herself in questionable situations or do questionable things, THEN, you take her seriously. until then, simply don't.

lol what is she gonna do? not talk to you? she is caught red handed.

see what girls today expect are for men to get overly emotional and caught up in the dating drama and i suspect she has created this situation knowing you would catch her. it's kinda a screwed up way some women get off on knowing men need or want them. but don't give to her. you are better than that, you play the real game, she is good enough to keep around to have sex with, to kick it with but she has not distinguished herself enough in your eyes, in particular with this bit, to be exclusive. tell her that if she asks. in the mean time don't' say antyhing don't call her out, just do your thing.

i mean, you do that, honestly, what can she do? break up with someone who isn't dating them lol? get mad at you for seeing other women or trying to when she is putting herself in questionable situations.

she's young and i have dated or slept iwth enough young girls enough of them to know that most of them have nothing that resembles game. women really don't start honing their craft utnil the mid 20's, or early 20's, about 22-24 they get freaky good.. but a 19 year old? she think she is pulling the wool over you by telling you that you are the only man for her while telling you she is out and bored.. lol on a satuday night lol. the her being bored is supposed to be your queue in her mind for her to wish you were there. to her that's her fieable ass way of throwing you off. again it's cat and mouse. don't even get mad. i'd be so bold as ot let it be known i was going out with someone else. seriously what TF could she do? she made her bed. she would never expect that you had options. her entire game is setup on the fact that she thinks you are her only option. it's not that she doesn't like you..to put it bluntly you are just dealing with an immature girl who wants more than one thing and doesn't know how to handle it.

she's put her queen out for you to put it in checkmate. you just have to show you have enough game to do it.--


ps- if you wanted to be a cruel heartless bastard and have this girl fawning over you ,the way to do so is to 1. show her that what she does with other dudes you seriously could care less (Even if you do) and 2. show her, directly or indirectly, preferably indirectly that you have other options. i was in a similar situation when i was, **** lol 21, i had a girl who i liked but we werent' dating and i knew damn well she was seeing with her ex, probably even sleeping with her. i was seeing other girls, and she knew it and while she didn't like it at all she knew at the end of the day where she stood on the backbreaker leaderboard, at the top pretty much. i liked her a lot and she knew it, she just had not proven to be realtionship material yet. granted that ex, was a x she dated for 6 years so i cut her some leeway, but what really, really peeved her is when she found out i knew about her ex and did not care. hell i asked her did they have fun, was it a good date.. **** got under her skin like no other, becau8se at that point she knew i had her, if her fvcking her ex isn't going to effect me what is? what is she going to hold over me to get me where she wants me? I was already fvcking her. checkmate.

we dated for a year and some months afterwards BTW and she never cheated.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

Damn biatches.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

O.P. You need to force yourself to see the reality of the situation at hand and NOT the fantasy in your mind of what you want it to be.

Make an honest checklist of the good and bad qualities about this chick and how this 'relationship' would be seen from you if you were a third party to it.

Are the bad points things you feel you could overlook or work out with her? Do the good points override the bad?

IMO the fact that this chick is communicating with this other dude in pics, text, FB whatever is enough of a shot of reality to put that fantasy of what you want to be to rest.

I think you feel if you don't 'prove' yourself to this chick you know deep down that she's going to be a 'couple' or something will happen with this other dude if it hasn't already. Drop your ego and see things truthfully. You or I etc. can't control anyone let alone you control what she's going to do. Once you drop your ego and see the reality of her winding up dropping serious hints about this other dude on FB or seeing after you've decided to forget this chicks nonsense that she winds up being 'boyfriend/girlfriend' with this other dude. You'll have to man up to reality and I've a feeling you are afraid something is eventually going to happen between them if it hasn't already and that's something you don't want to face.

Forget this chicks words and judge by actions. Then plan honestly and accordingly for yourself. Period.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

this is an extremely easy problem to fix. don't get over dramatic with the confrontations or dumping her or giving her any type of emotional speech.


look. let's analyze the situation for what it is as a whole. i can tell by your post you are a good looking dude. okay. women think you are good looking therefore when you are single you can at least somewhat play the field.

you have this woman who is interested in you enough to have sex with you and likes you but might or might not also like other dudes as well. but there is no question that she likes you enough to have sex with you becuase she has.

she has talked about being "exclusive" but her actions don't 1000% dictate it.


the correct answer here is to mirror to the T her behavior. if she wants to put herself in questionable situations with guys, do not feel bad at all about putting yourself in questionable situationist with girls. i.e spin plates.

you are making an issue out of this when in reality there really isn't. she has told you that she wants to be in a relationship but her actions really have not dedicated it. do your thing. don't shut out other girls. go out, have fun, when she wants to come around and kick it do so, beat that **** up lol, have a good time, but let her do her thing. rather she's doing it or not. when she shows you she wants to be in a relationship, a committed one, not by not hitting on your friends one time but by months of being a decent woman with a good set of morals who does not put herself in questionable situations or do questionable things, THEN, you take her seriously. until then, simply don't.

lol what is she gonna do? not talk to you? she is caught red handed.

see what girls today expect are for men to get overly emotional and caught up in the dating drama and i suspect she has created this situation knowing you would catch her. it's kinda a screwed up way some women get off on knowing men need or want them. but don't give to her. you are better than that, you play the real game, she is good enough to keep around to have sex with, to kick it with but she has not distinguished herself enough in your eyes, in particular with this bit, to be exclusive. tell her that if she asks. in the mean time don't' say antyhing don't call her out, just do your thing.

i mean, you do that, honestly, what can she do? break up with someone who isn't dating them lol? get mad at you for seeing other women or trying to when she is putting herself in questionable situations.

she's young and i have dated or slept iwth enough young girls enough of them to know that most of them have nothing that resembles game. women really don't start honing their craft utnil the mid 20's, or early 20's, about 22-24 they get freaky good.. but a 19 year old? she think she is pulling the wool over you by telling you that you are the only man for her while telling you she is out and bored.. lol on a satuday night lol. the her being bored is supposed to be your queue in her mind for her to wish you were there. to her that's her fieable ass way of throwing you off. again it's cat and mouse. don't even get mad. i'd be so bold as ot let it be known i was going out with someone else. seriously what TF could she do? she made her bed. she would never expect that you had options. her entire game is setup on the fact that she thinks you are her only option. it's not that she doesn't like you..to put it bluntly you are just dealing with an immature girl who wants more than one thing and doesn't know how to handle it.

she's put her queen out for you to put it in checkmate. you just have to show you have enough game to do it.

This OP ^^^^

 

[pyros]

amazing

this is an extremely easy problem to fix. don't get over dramatic with the confrontations or dumping her or giving her any type of emotional speech.


look. let's analyze the situation for what it is as a whole. i can tell by your post you are a good looking dude. okay. women think you are good looking therefore when you are single you can at least somewhat play the field.

you have this woman who is interested in you enough to have sex with you and likes you but might or might not also like other dudes as well. but there is no question that she likes you enough to have sex with you becuase she has.

she has talked about being "exclusive" but her actions don't 1000% dictate it.


the correct answer here is to mirror to the T her behavior. if she wants to put herself in questionable situations with guys, do not feel bad at all about putting yourself in questionable situationist with girls. i.e spin plates.

you are making an issue out of this when in reality there really isn't. she has told you that she wants to be in a relationship but her actions really have not dedicated it. do your thing. don't shut out other girls. go out, have fun, when she wants to come around and kick it do so, beat that **** up lol, have a good time, but let her do her thing. rather she's doing it or not. when she shows you she wants to be in a relationship, a committed one, not by not hitting on your friends one time but by months of being a decent woman with a good set of morals who does not put herself in questionable situations or do questionable things, THEN, you take her seriously. until then, simply don't.

lol what is she gonna do? not talk to you? she is caught red handed.

see what girls today expect are for men to get overly emotional and caught up in the dating drama and i suspect she has created this situation knowing you would catch her. it's kinda a screwed up way some women get off on knowing men need or want them. but don't give to her. you are better than that, you play the real game, she is good enough to keep around to have sex with, to kick it with but she has not distinguished herself enough in your eyes, in particular with this bit, to be exclusive. tell her that if she asks. in the mean time don't' say antyhing don't call her out, just do your thing.

i mean, you do that, honestly, what can she do? break up with someone who isn't dating them lol? get mad at you for seeing other women or trying to when she is putting herself in questionable situations.

she's young and i have dated or slept iwth enough young girls enough of them to know that most of them have nothing that resembles game. women really don't start honing their craft utnil the mid 20's, or early 20's, about 22-24 they get freaky good.. but a 19 year old? she think she is pulling the wool over you by telling you that you are the only man for her while telling you she is out and bored.. lol on a satuday night lol. the her being bored is supposed to be your queue in her mind for her to wish you were there. to her that's her fieable ass way of throwing you off. again it's cat and mouse. don't even get mad. i'd be so bold as ot let it be known i was going out with someone else. seriously what TF could she do? she made her bed. she would never expect that you had options. her entire game is setup on the fact that she thinks you are her only option. it's not that she doesn't like you..to put it bluntly you are just dealing with an immature girl who wants more than one thing and doesn't know how to handle it.

she's put her queen out for you to put it in checkmate. you just have to show you have enough game to do it.--


ps- if you wanted to be a cruel heartless bastard and have this girl fawning over you ,the way to do so is to 1. show her that what she does with other dudes you seriously could care less (Even if you do) and 2. show her, directly or indirectly, preferably indirectly that you have other options. i was in a similar situation when i was, **** lol 21, i had a girl who i liked but we werent' dating and i knew damn well she was seeing with her ex, probably even sleeping with her. i was seeing other girls, and she knew it and while she didn't like it at all she knew at the end of the day where she stood on the backbreaker leaderboard, at the top pretty much. i liked her a lot and she knew it, she just had not proven to be realtionship material yet. granted that ex, was a x she dated for 6 years so i cut her some leeway, but what really, really peeved her is when she found out i knew about her ex and did not care. hell i asked her did they have fun, was it a good date.. **** got under her skin like no other, becau8se at that point she knew i had her, if her fvcking her ex isn't going to effect me what is? what is she going to hold over me to get me where she wants me? I was already fvcking her. checkmate.

we dated for a year and some months afterwards BTW and she never cheated.

I really find amazing that you were banging a girl that was banging he ex boyfriend. Brrbbb...so she was sucking his ****, next day she was making out with you. I mean, she was a player...you gave her the chance to be ****ing two guys at the same time. Great...

So you did not care whether she was banging her ex bf or anything, aha, did you want her as a FB only? or did you want her to become your girl?
if it was the first case, then ok, but if it was the second I would not do that because if she leaves her ex forever, then what? you start dating this ***** that was having sex with you and her ex? nice girl...