lamath
Master Don Juan
RED FLAG is i ever saw one
Starting to see some distance, or it could just be my thinking
- Thread starter RickTheToad
- Start date
Late to the party but:
1) You did good my friend. This woman would've kept you on your toes because you expected more of her than she was offering, that's why I said she's strictly plate material but not all of us can plate everyone...we tend to catch feelings. Anyway, her antics would've made your life an ongoing hell as it's obvious from her past behavior.
2) Don't do what @marmel75 suggested about using rough sex as a revenge...in this day and age no one needs a rape accusation hanging over your head. Women (especially her type) can become vengeful about that stuff and will claim rape even after consensual sex if she chooses to. It's just not worth it.
My advice, no more contact, walk away.
1) You did good my friend. This woman would've kept you on your toes because you expected more of her than she was offering, that's why I said she's strictly plate material but not all of us can plate everyone...we tend to catch feelings. Anyway, her antics would've made your life an ongoing hell as it's obvious from her past behavior.
2) Don't do what @marmel75 suggested about using rough sex as a revenge...in this day and age no one needs a rape accusation hanging over your head. Women (especially her type) can become vengeful about that stuff and will claim rape even after consensual sex if she chooses to. It's just not worth it.
My advice, no more contact, walk away.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Just an update, and a funny or ironic one at that. I deleted FB messenger, as that was her primary way of contacting me. I guess is shown that I've not been active in days, so she texts me, I decided it was not a good idea to go, so I am not. I will not bother you again, but feel free to contact me if you want to do something.
Silence from me again. I am tongue-tied to say the least. Seems like a dark comedy is playing in my life.
Silence from me again. I am tongue-tied to say the least. Seems like a dark comedy is playing in my life.
sazc
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2016
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Just leave it. She's definitely not stable
RickTheToad
Moderator
Certainly an interesting phenomenon. I've also deleted all my online dating apps. Just tired of the games. Ladies younger, games. Ladies my age, games, ladies a year or two older, games. Done for now. Taking a break.
"if you want to do something..."? haha that's along the same lines as the 'you wanted to try something in bed before, I'm ready for it now' line earlier. Tempting but I wouldn't respond at all...unless she says she's sorry for all the drama and it has to come from her otherwise it's useless. Work on finding other chicks...it's like taking a break as is.
The decent ones are out there...I think I just found mine but that's a story I don't want to post on SS lol
The decent ones are out there...I think I just found mine but that's a story I don't want to post on SS lol
RickTheToad
Moderator
She did apologized for her behavior during the time when I was at my lowest in the hospital by not visiting me. NFN, my family, friends and co-workers all paid visits, unannounced, yet she lives 7 miles and couldn't stop by? She also left me a voicemail message on Sunday offering to come by last night and bring me whatever I wanted, I said no thanks. Too little too late. This was when she was going back and forth with going to the guys place to mentor. I still think she's going, but not my problem anymore. She's been distant IRL for over two weeks. She wants distance, well, her wish is my command. Oh, her birthday is Saturday. I returned her small gift too.
I still believe when your chips are down, you'll see who's by your side. She wasn't, and that's all I need to know.
As for decent one's, not too sure about that in my neck of the woods. 98% are fake.
Glad you're seeing her for who she is and not through some filtered glasses. Kudos to you.
Decent ones may happen upon you when you least expect it but still she ain't gonna come knock on your door...so get s3x in the meantime. Don't become bigdave17.
What gets someone creds here is how many notches you add a week. Not the GF/LTR type of stuff. It'll be torn apart in no time and turned into how the "OP" is delusional, has no frame, beta af etc etc. so I'll pass lol but as much as I read and learn here I do my own thing.
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RickTheToad
Moderator
I don't think I'm any of those aside from taking things personally. I used to share my feelings with the ladies, but stopped that. I also tried to open up once about my heath and family history a year or so ago, but that seemed to scare her away. Not sure why as it had nothing to do with her, but that was the last time I did that. I learn from my mistakes. Now, when a lady does something like this one, I just walk away and go into NC mode.
I might date again after the new year, but I need to take care of myself first. I like to throw my ideas out to the community here to get their feedback. I'm not perfect, but I'm learning. Since last year, I have instituted a no BS type of attitude with the ladies. I could possibly overlook the not visiting because her life has been hectic over the past couple of weeks. I cannot overlook this BS trip. I'd love to understand what goes through some of the minds of the ladies these days. It's quite remarkable how their ideology works.
lamath
Master Don Juan
You did good
Not ez but she was gonna be a pain in your ass
How i wish i had discovered SS like 10y ago some very good non feminist advice here, very hard to get now day.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Not sure if she's BPD, as there were really no highs and lows that I experienced. She probably was dating other men, even though she said she wasn't and using this as an excuse to jet. I just cannot see how anyone can think flying from Connecticut to Florida for four days to complete a paper is anywhere normal or a good suggestion.
There's been silence since Monday evening. Doubtful I'll hear from her again. Strange experience. Never saw a person who cared so little. Prepping for the kidney stone removal later today. Should be fun.
lamath
Master Don Juan
I dont think she was dating anyone but I think the big problem was that mentor/boss guy.
He is probably well respected and has high standing among his peers get him a high SMV at work
You just cut one of her monkey branch, imo this is not gonna end well for her if she choose that route.
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flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Nah, take a month off. Hit the gym, and do some writing. Get in a good routine for the mornings and nighttime, cut social media, unug your TV and anything which doesn’t fill your cup.
Start stretching, reading more, creating, etc.
You just have to screen better and not be so eager to be in relationship. You seem sensitive and want to open; which is fine. But it’s your choosing process or needing acceptance from the woman which is a thorn in your side.
Like @HankHill said. There’s plenty of good women out there. You just have to locate them.
But the good women will be drawn to value and that’s portrayed in how one talks, acts, where he goes, the words he says on dates. Like attracts like
I also remember another poster, recently, I think it was @RangerMIke who said dating is simply just figuring out who’s not the right fit for you as quickly as possible to find the ones who are.
You found she wasn’t the best. Early on I might add but YOU failed to pull the plug or speak up and hold your frame, and now you saw what happens. All good though. It was a needed experience for your ultimate learning to navigate women and yourself in relations.
Dust yourself off. And in the new year get back to work. Use this as an experience to learn from. Taking a year off like your the Batman in the Dark Knight Rises to then go to battle in 2020 isn’t the most pragmatic and you’ll surely get rusty by not talking or learning seduction with women.
We get results in life by doing, failing, recalibrating, doing, failing, recalibrating, doing, failing, recalibrating; until we do and hit a success. Then we start over again.
There is no end point or arrival. It’s never ending.
Love this process for the good and bad.
Do more. And keep doing it better.
Accept this was your fault. Take that responsibility. It’s way better and more empowering than saying she’s crazy. Because at the end of the day, you chose it and our choices are reflections of how conscious we are.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Had some complications, so I was in the hos. for a few days and was released today. Pain everywhere and restricted to bed rest for at least a week, maybe more.
NFN, never heard from her again. A bit surprised, as I've never heard of a person being so cold. Oh well, this too will pass.
NFN, never heard from her again. A bit surprised, as I've never heard of a person being so cold. Oh well, this too will pass.
Don't let useless people take up any of your time, attention and mental space. Remember, you have to get rid of them first to let better people into your life.
Get better. There are good women out there, just have to be patient...
Keep your head up
