Starting Over at 39

[ExBeta75]

I found out about this forum from Rollo Tomassi's books/blog.
I've been reading his blog for about 6 months now and wasn't very convinced about the ideas until I bought Preventative Medicine 3 weeks ago and finished it a week and a half.
Bought his first right after and just finished it last night.

I've been a AFC practically all my life. At one point even considered myself a male feminist. It was amazing reading my life in his pages. I lost a custody battle with my ex girlfriend last year and that caused me to start rethinking a lot of the bull**** I've been fed. I think by the time I got to Rollo's books I'd processed a lot of the anger and frustration from swallowing the pill.
I started weight lifting like 2 months ago and can already feel a difference in not just my body, but my outlook as well. I've become a bit more assertive at work and socially.

I had coffee with a beautiful woman in her late 20s earlier today. I'd planned to exert my 'new found' confidence, but found myself slipping back into beta mode and her controlling the conversation. before meeting up I'd suspected she might be cluster b....and while talking earlier she's said that she was told by a therapist once that she might be histrionic. She's only here for a few more weeks and goes back to Dubai where she lives. I was hoping to hook up with her before she leaves.

A question...Do you think I'm expecting too much too soon? I'm still pretty new to this way of thinking. Probably an impossible question to answer...but how much time should I give myself to fully grasp and start living more alpha?

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Hook up with this chick before she leaves in a few weeks? You mean you haven't banged her yet? Dude, any man who truly believes in himself can bang her the same day you meet her. Some serious guys who are great at game can get a bang within 1 hour.

And you're asking if you can bang her before she leaves in a few weeks?

I'm trying to put things into perspective for you. You're lifting and hopefully toning your body, which is good. The thing you have to remember is despite being almost 40, you CAN still pull tail 20 years younger and there is nothing wrong with it. Don't ever let anyone give you $hit about it either, especially other women your own age who will try to feign disgust but are secretly jealous because they realize their time in the spotlight is over.

As for your attitude in general, it's never too late to start. But don't expect a complete change overnight. Just keep working on small things every day, do something a little different each time. Start trying to talk to new people, hell join some group on Meetup that you might never ordinarily do just to say you did it...and take some pictures to remember.

There are certainly different ways of thinking when we say "alpha". What do you want alpha to be? Banging a woman within an hour of meeting? Have a regular rotation of 3-5 women every week? Not being a doormat in an LTR with a woman? More respect at work and in general?

Just about any scenario will take time to develop, but someone who is dedicated should at least start seeing some results within a year if you are serious about changing.

 

[mangotot]

Its not like you are some virgin loser. You are a man of great experience all of this will be a breeze. Just be assertive lead the woman and fucck her. And always put your interest first before anyone else.

 

[old married dude]

Rollo has written some great stuff but I'd suggest expanding your knowledge a bit & start looking at other good resources. Look up threads by someone here that goes by Pook. This guy has written some excellent stuff.

Keep working out, get rest, eat well, keep up with the latest styles, and you'll have no problem landing dates with chicks in their 20's. Develop some fun & interesting new hobbies too that will attract interest.

 

[ExBeta75]

There are certainly different ways of thinking when we say "alpha". What do you want alpha to be? Banging a woman within an hour of meeting? Have a regular rotation of 3-5 women every week? Not being a doormat in an LTR with a woman? More respect at work and in general?

Thanks for the words @bettercallsaul
Alpha For me ...i want it to mean having 2 attractive women (8 and over) in rotation and eventually entering into a monogamous relationship with one of them. Id also like to have another child.
I also want to be more confident in my talents and more assertive in seeking out ways to exploit these talents.
I also want to be less passive in general and shy away from conflict less when my boundaries are challenged or Ive been wronged.

 

[ExBeta75]

manfotot and old married...
thanks for the encouragement too. Im actually going thru some of pooks wokr now...great stuff

 

[Desdinova]

A question...Do you think I'm expecting too much too soon? I'm still pretty new to this way of thinking. Probably an impossible question to answer...but how much time should I give myself to fully grasp and start living more alpha?

When you've been believing the Disney way of life for 39 years, you're not going to transform into James Bond overnight. It takes a lot of mind power and a lot of practice to truly transform yourself into the person you want to become.

There's a lot of great stuff on this forum that can help you change your outlook and personality, but you'll need to take baby steps at first. Scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the DJ Bible, and brace yourself for even more reading. Then, go out into the real world and apply what you've learned.

 

[Slickster]

Welcome! You seem like a good guy.

My first suggestion to you is to change your username.

Use this place as a primer for positive change. Don't anchor yourself to a name like ExBeta. It will only hold you back every time you log in. Re-spawn with a new name. Something that more reflects who you want to be. Not the past.

If you haven't yet, get into the DJ Bible and read as much as possible.

 

[Suspens]

Just be assertive lead the woman and fucck her.

:crackup: , Simple and to the point

 

[logicallefty]

Nothing wrong with letting them control the conversation. Just focus on listening and let them do all the talking.

Agreed^^. In addition to this, I advise that you don't become their shrink, consoler, etc. In other words, listen to them talk, as Espi said above, but also give them very little or no advice to their problems. This is a mistake I used to make time and time and time again that put be in the friendzone. Even if you can advise on their issue, don't get too heavily into it. The only problems you need to solve are 1) their problem of never having hung out with the most fun guy around (that would be YOU) and 2) the problem that they have never been romped so hard they way they desire to be romped (also on you).


:rockon:

 

[sodbuster]

You LISTEN. A woman WILL eventually tell you everything you need to know about herself, IF you shut up and listen. She ALREADY told you she has emotional issues. IF you were looking for a serious relationship, you already KNOW she's not a long term woman.

SO, NOW all you are worrying about is SEX? Can you tap it? Go ahead and try, what's the worst that can happen? I've dropped down 26 years younger.....

Are you working as hard on your job or business as you are on WOMEN? Your "lifestyle" also requires money....

 

[Tenacity]

I found out about this forum from Rollo Tomassi's books/blog.
I've been reading his blog for about 6 months now and wasn't very convinced about the ideas until I bought Preventative Medicine 3 weeks ago and finished it a week and a half.
Bought his first right after and just finished it last night.

I've been a AFC practically all my life. At one point even considered myself a male feminist. It was amazing reading my life in his pages. I lost a custody battle with my ex girlfriend last year and that caused me to start rethinking a lot of the bull**** I've been fed. I think by the time I got to Rollo's books I'd processed a lot of the anger and frustration from swallowing the pill.
I started weight lifting like 2 months ago and can already feel a difference in not just my body, but my outlook as well. I've become a bit more assertive at work and socially.

I had coffee with a beautiful woman in her late 20s earlier today. I'd planned to exert my 'new found' confidence, but found myself slipping back into beta mode and her controlling the conversation. before meeting up I'd suspected she might be cluster b....and while talking earlier she's said that she was told by a therapist once that she might be histrionic. She's only here for a few more weeks and goes back to Dubai where she lives. I was hoping to hook up with her before she leaves.

A question...Do you think I'm expecting too much too soon? I'm still pretty new to this way of thinking. Probably an impossible question to answer...but how much time should I give myself to fully grasp and start living more alpha?

Look into various resources in the Manosphere from MGTOW to MRA to PUA. Give yourself some time, as mentioned you won't just SNAP OUT of the Blue Pill/Male Feminist shyt over night.

Do everything in a progressive pattern, setup a process such as getting to the process where you can go and meet/bring in about 3-5 new numbers a week which is 12-20 a month. You should get the point where you are now dating 3-12 of those numbers, and fvck close 1-7 of them. Do this consistently for 12 MONTHS so it becomes habit. In doing this, a lot of what's "taught" in mindset will be adapted into your subconscious to the point where you will just naturally do the "Non Blue Pill" responses to things.

But most certainly focus on MULTIPLE WOMEN right now, not one woman. Spin plates for at least one year, that's really the only way to truly break out of the Blue Pill mentality.

 

[EverSure75]

Thanks for all the comments, gentlemen...
I'm the original poster but I've changed my name. *hat tip to slickster.
I've been reading alot... The book of Pook is what I've spent most time on so far.

As I hinted to above... My aim is to really become more assertive and less passive and to also find a way to exploit my talents. I'm a doctor by profession but also a budding music producer. I received a pretty prestigious music award almost 10 years ago when I was just getting started. . At the time I was juggling new fatherhood, medicine and music. Things with my relationship went sout pretty fast. I'm realising now it was at that time when my ex's smv was declining and mine had kinda plateaud. She was expecting this alpha prestigious doctor and I had scaled back on my career aspirations to focus more on music and being a present father. My beta quotient (already high) went thru the roof. So this plus her emotional instability and disrespect killed our relationshi.
I took a huge hit financially over the last few years from the custody battle. I'm getting my finances back on track and have been putting my head down in the music as well.
Feels like an exciting time.
I also want to use this space for accountability as I pursue my goals for the coming year.
In terms of women, I live in a pretty small city and don't have much time or interest in spinning more than 3 plates max for now. Who knows though.. As I start I might feel the need to iincrease.
Thanks again guys.. It's good to be here

 

[old married dude]

Thanks for all the comments, gentlemen...
I'm the original poster but I've changed my name. *hat tip to slickster.
I've been reading alot... The book of Pook is what I've spent most time on so far.

As I hinted to above... My aim is to really become more assertive and less passive and to also find a way to exploit my talents. I'm a doctor by profession but also a budding music producer. I received a pretty prestigious music award almost 10 years ago when I was just getting started. . At the time I was juggling new fatherhood, medicine and music. Things with my relationship went sout pretty fast. I'm realising now it was at that time when my ex's smv was declining and mine had kinda plateaud. She was expecting this alpha prestigious doctor and I had scaled back on my career aspirations to focus more on music and being a present father. My beta quotient (already high) went thru the roof. So this plus her emotional instability and disrespect killed our relationshi.
I took a huge hit financially over the last few years from the custody battle. I'm getting my finances back on track and have been putting my head down in the music as well.
Feels like an exciting time.
I also want to use this space for accountability as I pursue my goals for the coming year.
In terms of women, I live in a pretty small city and don't have much time or interest in spinning more than 3 plates max for now. Who knows though.. As I start I might feel the need to iincrease.
Thanks again guys.. It's good to be here

What sort of music are you into? Being in a band of being a DJ can help attract girls for sure. I DJ at some venues out of town bc our ED music scene is terrible here & when I'm out of town "working" it's easy to gather "orbiters" to choose from lol.

Yeah, might be good to keep it to 3 plates right now to start. That's the most I'm able to work with bc I have kids too & such. Anymore than 3 was just terribly exhausting I thought.

 

[EverSure75]

What sort of music are you into? Being in a band of being a DJ can help attract girls for sure. I DJ at some venues out of town bc our ED music scene is terrible here & when I'm out of town "working" it's easy to gather "orbiters" to choose from lol.

Yeah, might be good to keep it to 3 plates right now to start. That's the most I'm able to work with bc I have kids too & such. Anymore than 3 was just terribly exhausting I thought.

Funny you mentioned the DJing. I was out for drinks with a woman last night. She was telling about her memory of us mmeeting. It was at an event I was sspinning at. I don't remember meeting her there but hey..
I don't DJ as much these days, but when I had a residency at a popular lounge in the late 2000s I met tons of women.
The music I spin is mostly electronic soul with some reggae and funk in there somewhere.

 

[old married dude]

Funny you mentioned the DJing. I was out for drinks with a woman last night. She was telling about her memory of us mmeeting. It was at an event I was sspinning at. I don't remember meeting her there but hey..
I don't DJ as much these days, but when I had a residency at a popular lounge in the late 2000s I met tons of women.
The music I spin is mostly electronic soul with some reggae and funk in there somewhere.

Oh nice! I mostly play tech house, tribal house & drum and bass.

 

[sodbuster]

It took me 2 years as a Dentist to recover from my Divorce{the decreased spending helped a BUNCH}. I was happier at home WITHOUT her. now, it's almost 8 years over and my net worth is up about 2.5 times what it was when she got done with me, and twice what is was before the big D