Starting out, need some input

[Schizofren]

First of all, hey all!

To make a long story short. My childhood was a huge mess, I´ve never had any girls and haven´t even kissed one. So, until a year ago things were pretty ****ed up. I was very insecure, depressed etc etc, you know the drill. Anyways, I started working on my confidence and I have come a long way from where I was, but I have an even longer way to go.

Now, I have joined this forum because I really want to change things in my life. I have no interest whatsoever so be some sort of loser. The first step for me is working out my problems with insecurities.

As a child, lots of people picked on me and told me I was ugly so that kinda laid the foundation. However, now that I´m older, some people have been saying that I look good, so I´m really confused. What I need to know is.... am I good looking or not? I need to know the truth to be able to find my confidence. So I´m gona post a picture here, and I want you people to be honest, put a number if you wish, between 1 and 10.

I know that this behaviour is bad. But I believe that I need this validation to start out with, to put a new foundation for me to build on. I need to know if I should work on my game as a good looking guy or as the ugly underdog guy.

Thanks for any help!

 

[Midnight Carnival]

I think short hair would you suit you better, but that's just me. There's definitely nothing wrong with your face. Just keep in mind, smiling isn't illegal.

 

[Kerpal]

+1 on the short hair

It's cheap (buy a pair of $20 clippers and do it yourself), it's easy, and it makes your jaw look more square.

 

[Randallpink83]

Well I just want to warn you that there will probably be some hard asses come in here and yell at you for being a pvssy, and that looks don't matter.

But never mind that, because I understand where you are coming from, you're new ... Honestly I don't care how you look, I really don't.
I know when guys are ugly, but I don't know when guys are good looking... Like maybe its a homophobic frame of mind, but I can't look at a guy and be like "yeah he is really good looking"... Guys are just guys.

So anyhow I can say you aren't ugly. There is nothing repulsive or anything I don't agree with.

.....And aside from that LOOKS DON'T MATTER... Girls aren't attracted to your looks (maybe to a small extent obviously), but they are attracted to your personality. Personality is the only true thing that builds attraction...

Most people will say to cut your hair... They will instantly see it as bad look and want you to get all nice looking. But I say even if it looks bad, which believe me, with the right confidence and sexual outlook you can rock anything and make it attractive to women... Anyhow even if it looks bad right now go ahead and get GOOD with girls right now. No matter what you look like....
Just go out... Start getting experiences and practice in... Your confidence will start building up. You will fail a lot at first.. get rejected a lot at first, but slowly and surely, IF you have a POSITIVE outlook it will be what builds your confidence and personality.
Then you can start building the physical image you want ontop of that to better express your style and image... hope that helps.

Welcome to the forums and I praise you in your goal.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Actually you can probably keep the hair at that length because the actual hair dosn't look bad (make sure to keep it completely clean though).

You should just go in for a trim and style.
Most importantly, get the part out of the center. Comb or brush most of your hair to one side and see how that looks. The center part thing really doesn't work that well. You have a good hair color, but defnintely get that trimmed to even it out and make your hair look neat.

Also, more importantly, if you're gonna change into a happier person you should smile ALOT more. The last 2 things I'd change about this pic is a nice smile and less of a stare. Girls will get creeped out if you're staring like that at them lol, but you can definitely fix that, just relax your eyes more.

Your goals should be trying to become relaxed, confident and cool.

Hey, you're gonna mess up a lot before ya get good at this thing, so if you end up messing up that's actually a good thing because you can't change if you're not trying at all.

Stick around here and we'll make this change happen for real.

 

[newyorkman]

Dude, you have great potential. Go get a haricut and style at a salon and update the wardrobe. Have a chick friend (or worse case your sister/cousin) go with you.

Your inner game is key here. Interact with women everywhere you can. Even if it is via chat online or at work. This will help your confidence. Keep in mind that rejection is not personal. I have been rejected as much as I have had success. Every rejection you have learn from it on how you work your game.

Its going to be tough to change your mindset, but we have confidence. We all have been there. This is going to be the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. Its gonna suck at first. Just remember how bad you want it.

 

[dj mac]

hi Schizofren

i was in the same situation with the ladys,and i will say im not the best looking person at all i have a hairy back,balding and a beerbelly.
its all about attitude.your a man,you need to act like one.if a chick is only interested in how you look that just means shes shallow.(not sayin looking good doesnt help but what i am sayin is there are more important factors you need to focus on.)
have you read the dating dictionary yet???

i read it about 2 months ago and i followed what it says (the key is to do what it says the info is useless if you dont apply it to your life)

anyhow i told you some of my physical setbacks but i have women stalking me now since ive been reading so suave and following dictionary procedures.

it takes some cajones but if your dedicated it will pay off

good luck

 

[nightcrawler]

I'm also starting out..can you guys give me some honest opinions about my look?
http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/5290/duckrn7.jpg
http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/1267/cowty5.jpg
I've always had the "ugly duck" and "I'm not white" complex. I'm trying to make my looks not matter but it's pretty hard to not be self conscious

 

[The Bat]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=59150

That should keep you occupied.

Stop worrying about your looks. Just don't look like a pedophile.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

First of all, hey all!

To make a long story short. My childhood was a huge mess, I´ve never had any girls and haven´t even kissed one. So, until a year ago things were pretty ****ed up. I was very insecure, depressed etc etc, you know the drill. Anyways, I started working on my confidence and I have come a long way from where I was, but I have an even longer way to go.

Now, I have joined this forum because I really want to change things in my life. I have no interest whatsoever so be some sort of loser. The first step for me is working out my problems with insecurities.

As a child, lots of people picked on me and told me I was ugly so that kinda laid the foundation. However, now that I´m older, some people have been saying that I look good, so I´m really confused. What I need to know is.... am I good looking or not? I need to know the truth to be able to find my confidence. So I´m gona post a picture here, and I want you people to be honest, put a number if you wish, between 1 and 10.

I know that this behaviour is bad. But I believe that I need this validation to start out with, to put a new foundation for me to build on. I need to know if I should work on my game as a good looking guy or as the ugly underdog guy.

Thanks for any help!

My girlfriend does styling for men so I will type what she says:

1. Is that your natural hair color?

2. You need to try cutting just a little bit off to see how you like it then a bit more. Its too long to fit your face.

3. You need a cut that will not hide your eyes she said you have interesting eyes if you could tone down the manson look.

4. Never wear black teeshirts which contrasts with your skin and reddish hair, not a good contrast. You can get away with rust colored shirts. He doesn't want to compete with his hair and skin color by choosing colors that are too opposite of his natural tones.

5. Women pay attention to what your wearing so you should always be presenting yourself in a way that sells. Don't listen to the guys on here who do not know this important fact of the game-supreme

7. I just did 2 shows on improving your self esteem which are free to download at http://playersupreme.libsyn.com

I hope you take advantage of them. I talk about finding the source of your trouble. Going back to where it all started.

With myself and I am sure many others it begins in your early childhood development.

Good luck to you.

 

[Schizofren]

Thanks for the replies!

About the hair, yeah it´s not the best looking atm. I´m growing it out so it´ll look a lot better once it gets long. Oh, and that´s not up for debate though.

 

[The Forms]

Schizofren: The secret to haircuts is that you have to be willing to go somewhere nice to get it cut. Since you keep it long you don't have to go that often anyway. I usually spend about 40-45 bucks on a haircut. It's worth it. When she asks what you want, I usually tell her, "All I know is I want something different. You're the professional, do whatever you think will look good." This never works out bad. They get excited because they have freedom and aren't taking direction, and will give you a great haircut. Remember, they know more about this than you.

muhuwahaha: You look like Eric Estrada when he was young and on that show CHIPS. You're thin with a good smile. Maybe it's just me being old enough to where drinking or not drinking doesn't affect your coolness, but I'd scrap that guiness banner in your room. Advertising beer in your house makes you look like a frat boy.

 

[Schizofren]

Schizofren: The secret to haircuts is that you have to be willing to go somewhere nice to get it cut. Since you keep it long you don't have to go that often anyway. I usually spend about 40-45 bucks on a haircut. It's worth it. When she asks what you want, I usually tell her, "All I know is I want something different. You're the professional, do whatever you think will look good." This never works out bad. They get excited because they have freedom and aren't taking direction, and will give you a great haircut. Remember, they know more about this than you.

Yep, in a few months I will go and get it trimmed again to neat it out a little bit. Though not too much cause I want to avoid the bobble-head-haircut. Once it reached my shoulders I´ll be able to trim it so that it looks neat.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Woah... don't go spending $45 on a haircut haha.

One thing that you can change now, while you're growing your hair or whatever, is to get rid of that center part.

Comb it to the side so the part is above one of your temples, and you'll look way better already. It's like that hair-over-one-eye emo look haha, but trust me it's way better. Chicks dig that look if you've got it down.

 

[Lord Shinra]

Ohh, and once you get out on the field, get ready to get rejected. Alot. Thats how you will build thick skin to help you in the future.

And get some nice shoes and keep them in good repair. You'd be amazed how many times women look at my shoes after they look at my face and before they look at my junk.

 

[Derek Flint]

Thanks for the replies!

About the hair, yeah it´s not the best looking atm. I´m growing it out so it´ll look a lot better once it gets long. Oh, and that´s not up for debate though.

Initial post you wrote: "I really want to change things in my life."

But you're not willing to take advice and make those changes, as evidenced by your "that's not up for debate" statement about your hair.

IMO, that's the biggest negative about your appearance, but if you don't want to take advice and make changes, then you're wasting everyones time here, including your own.

 

[Schizofren]

Initial post you wrote: "I really want to change things in my life."

But you're not willing to take advice and make those changes, as evidenced by your "that's not up for debate" statement about your hair.

IMO, that's the biggest negative about your appearance, but if you don't want to take advice and make changes, then you're wasting everyones time here, including your own.

The hair IS a change in my life already. I´m doing something that I dreamed of but didn´t dare to actually do earlier. I´m really into heavy metal, and I play lead guitar in two bands so I really want the hair.

And when it comes to girls. One of my friends has long hair and he is extremely good with girls. In other words, if you know your way around girls, the hair won´t stop you.

Just because I don´t want to cut my hair short doesn´t mean that I´m not willing to change other things in my life.

 

[java01]

First of all, you should not get cought up on what other people say, ther only words, build some "tough skin" (unless these people that picked on u 'physiclly abused u, then u hav esome reson to rase the topic).

Second u mentioned these people picking on u in u'r childhood, giving a high probabilty that they are children at the time, with 'child like minds', & now u say when u'r older, 'other older people' with mature 'minds' say u look'n good. who's word are u gonna trust, the children? or the adults?

the only advise i'd give u on u'r pic is to smile & let loose - relaxxx!!! so tense.

 

[Schizofren]

First of all, you should not get cought up on what other people say, ther only words, build some "tough skin" (unless these people that picked on u 'physiclly abused u, then u hav esome reson to rase the topic).

Second u mentioned these people picking on u in u'r childhood, giving a high probabilty that they are children at the time, with 'child like minds', & now u say when u'r older, 'other older people' with mature 'minds' say u look'n good. who's word are u gonna trust, the children? or the adults?

the only advise i'd give u on u'r pic is to smile & let loose - relaxxx!!! so tense.

That´s a huge problem for me. Building a tough skin. Everytime people say stuff I don´t like, I walways try to ignore it and just shrug it off but it really gets to me every time. Any ideas how to actually do this?

That is true. I´ll keep that in mind.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

That´s a huge problem for me. Building a tough skin. Everytime people say stuff I don´t like, I walways try to ignore it and just shrug it off but it really gets to me every time. Any ideas how to actually do this?

That is true. I´ll keep that in mind.

Get back at them. Do what they do to you back at them, but not in a mean way, just in an I-don't-care-I'm-better-than-you way.
An easy way to do this actually is to practice arguing with people, but be creative with it.

By not taking sh!t from these a$$holes who've been insulting you for all of your life, you're gonna start talking back and standing up for yourself.

Here are some things to remember:

1. You can act like it doesn't bother you, but you can't ignore it, because if you're silent it obviously bothers you. Start talking about something even if it's random.

2. Insult them!! You have a right to since they've insulted you so much. To start with this, observe something strange or weird about them, but you have to point it out as an insult strongly, but calmly and creative.

3. When you're ignoring someone who's trying to insult you, the best way to avoid it is to be talking to somebody else and they'll be trying to get your attention while you're busy with a conversation. They'll start trying harder if you do it right and you'll be able to be like "what do you want?" or "get out of my face, you're annoying" etc. I can't really give you lines cause you have to say one naturally that fits your situation.

One other way is to practice being a jerk to people (only girls or else you might get beat up) for no reason, but make sure it's people you don't know. When you're out somewhere, make some nasty remarks that will make you seem like a jerk and use the concept of "negging" and build up your vocabulary. Be as mean as you can without going too far, like swearing or going too close to the person. Actually heres a better word for it, just be a smartass

This is good so many ways beacuse you get practice talking out and thinking of things to say and you won't care what the other person's opinion is. So what if you're mean to someone? They don't even know you. You can learn a lot by their response. Be ****y with your smartass attitude, and be cool and relaxed like you don't care what they say anyway. Don't even let them get mad at you and try to come back... just say whatever, laugh, and walk away.

Builds confidence and toughens you up. This is the best way I can think of because you need to loose the nice guy attitude and actually become confident with your soon to be new tough guy attitute.