Starting from zero. Tips please?

[Iguana]

Hi everyone. I'm a 23 year old computer engineer. My social skills are average at best and I have almost no female friends.

I hardly go out. The only time I go out is when I go to the gym on the afternoons.

I want to be successful with women but I don't know where to start. I know the theory, I've read books, the DJ Bible, etc. I just don't know what to do or where to start cause I have no social circle.

Should I start cold approaching at all places? Should I start going to bars alone or with friends with the intention of approaching girls? Should I start going out with the few female friends I have hoping they have some friends to introduce me? etc

Where do I start and any general tips are appreciated.

 

[immrtlwun]

I would start by gaining a social circle before trying to pick up women, but that's just my opinion. Do something, anything that will force you to meet people. Take some kind of class, like cooking or dancing where a partner is helpful. Talk to the people you work with and hang out with them. Basically start by getting out of the house more and doing things that make you interact with people.

 

[AKA FLEX]

I would start by gaining a social circle before trying to pick up women, but that's just my opinion. Do something, anything that will force you to meet people. Take some kind of class, like cooking or dancing where a partner is helpful. Talk to the people you work with and hang out with them. Basically start by getting out of the house more and doing things that make you interact with people.

Agreed. Starting out by going to bars alone and doing cold approaches would be like trying to play the Masters course in Augusta before mastering Putt-Putt.

Build a social circle and network from there. Not only will you be able to meet prospects through them, but you'll have a support group when you go out to the bars and clubs and won't be that creep/weirdo out by himself awkwardly trying to pick up women.

 

[n00bPimp]

I think the very first thing you must do is build your confidence. The first step towards this is getting rid of your approach anxiety. The DJ bootcamp will help you get rid of that..

 

[true romance]

list your best skills, find out a social groupe and join...

List skills you want to learn then enroll...

Build your social network...you will likely meet girls with same interest, invite to go out, social activities...etc

start cold approach
talk to everyone...

comabination of everything..

 

[brian123]

Build a great life for yourself with goals, ambitions, challenges, etc.; and you won't have to do anything - They will be lining up at the chance to be with you.

Agreed. Even the best marathon runners in the world had to crawl at some point.

Crawl, stumble around, walk, run, excel.

It takes time, work and alot of setbacks.

 

[Iguana]

Thanks for the advice guys. Any more?

 

[oli_099]

you sound like me 2 years ago. to give you an idea, i was just like you. wanted to build some more friends, and start pickup up some women.

now, two years on, and i'm getting ridiculously good. (not boasting).

for example last night i ended up going back with 6 HOT girls to their hotel and being opened by a lapdancer that i spoke to the other day when she was flyering for her lapdance club before dancing later that night.

she was like 'you never came to the lapdance club other day. i was expecting you..'

she was out casually this time, and i got the #.

sound pretty good for someone who used to be a AFC *****?

This is just to name last nights escapades. unreal **** like this is happening all the time now.

I'm at the point of extracting girls every night i go out.

anyways, back on point...

your first step is to align yourself with other likeminded people. 'you are the company you keep'.

basically if they read this **** great, but if not dont worry. if they are naturals then hang with them and you will learn a ton..

have player friends basically.

you will find some...

i found mine when i came to uni and when i also looked back at my school year and asked myself who used to play women...my mate jack used to, so i started hanging with him.. see where i'm going with this?

next thing, get out at least 2-3 times a week. become a nightclub junkie. AIM to be a SOCIAL guy. not a pickup artist. Girls dont like to be pickup up and can sense it a mile off if its coming off that way. but they LOVE social guys who invite themselves into their lives, and meet them the same night.

so when your out at the club, go TALK to groups of people. the barman should be your friend, the bouncer, the group of 4 people at the bar, that you keep bumping into. basically everyone around you. you can even go up to people and say 'hey guys you look like a cool bunch. wats your story?'

just come in with energy, and people will LOVE YOU. trust me.

all this comes with practice. if your a nightshift worker, then get out to town in the day. shoppin malls, coffee shops the lot. TALK to people. FAIL BIG>
thats the only way you learn this skillset.

Just implement small things into your life one by one, and it will all come together over time. be patient too.

goodluck!
Oli

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

I started from zero recently. I hit the gym for a solid 3 months and started cold approaching! Ever since then, I've had tons of success. I think the gym played a HUGE part in this.

All you need is you. You don't need any friends or wings or PUA's. The gym + sosuave is all you really need.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

what do you mean? you approached AT the gym??? or in the streets?

id hate to approach at teh gym, because your their to work out, and you feel pressured to talk ever since the first approach, whenever you see them at the gym..

No I never approach in the gym. I approach everywhere else though! Look at my thread I just picked up a girl at the store. I almost never even talked to her and she could have walked away.

I like doing pickups in everyday places like grocery stores, clothing stores, things like that. I don't really visit the club or bar scene.

I just think I have had success lately because I hit the gym and bulked up a bit. Women see that and it's the difference between a "yes call me" and a "no get lost".

 

[brian123]

The gym will help you look better, and will give you a sense of inner confidence which will attract girls. I am no DJ yet, but it has def helped.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

ah cool

wicked job on the pickup though man

i suck at day game - infact i missed like 2 decent opportunities this morning!
ah well
anyways keep it up!

There is no way to suck. Just talk to them. By "sucking" do you mean you are too scared to talk to them? Because that's all it takes.

All you need is an opening line that fits in with your surroundings and then it's basic stuff like "whats your name" "you from around here" blah blah blah blah blah blah

And don't forget to shake her hand when she gives you her name. Then after the basic crap get her #. I am now a fan of taking out your phone and typing in her name, then handing it to her so she puts in her #.

Then tell her you want her to have your #, so you are calling her right now.

Then call her right there and talk about anything for a minute and bail.

This method is battle tested and approved. If she doesn't cooperate to hell with her. Try it on the next one.

 

[DJ Shaka]

Good thread.