Starting from scratch.

[Loki.7]

So I'm 37 and for the last 7 years I've been living up north with my girlfriend. Been doing the family thing we had 2 dogs , two step kids e.t.c. I thought we were happy.

A couple of weeks ago she blindsided me and broke up with me. It came out of nowhere and I can't get my head around it.
So I moved back 400 miles south I came down with one of the dogs. I'm currently living with family.

Litrerally my whole life changed in a heartbeat. I can't see us getting back together. I don't think I would ever go back not after this.

The thing is I've had to walk from a life and women that I love. So it's hard as hell.

Kinda a weird place right now. Basically a reset button has just been pressed. It's definitely a challenging time for me.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Step kids are her biological kids, I'm assuming? Quite a ballsy move on her part to break up with you under the circumstances, I have to say.

In the end, she did you a big favour. You should have never gotten together with a single mom with two kids in the first place. Find someone without kids and have your own kids with her if that's what you want.

 

[rart]

Sounds like you got out pretty easy. Could have been really messy with the kinds and all. Count yourself lucky. Now you can find a women to have your children with.

 

[Lookatu]

Did she discuss it with you? I mean after 7 years, I would think she owed you that much. Plus her ending it abruptly if there was no transition period or family discussion was very selfish of her considering her kids would've been affected by that.

 

[Loki.7]

Step kids are her biological kids, I'm assuming? Quite a ballsy move on her part to break up with you under the circumstances, I have to say.

In the end, she did you a big favour. You should have never gotten together with a single mom with two kids in the first place. Find someone without kids and have your own kids with her if that's what you want.

Yeah her kids .

 

[Loki.7]

Did she discuss it with you? I mean after 7 years, I would think she owed you that much. Plus her ending it abruptly if there was no transition period or family discussion was very selfish of her considering her kids would've been affected by that.

Not even a proper discussion. "Basically it's not over anything in particular, we've been growing apart , I still love you , but we should break up " .

Not really talked since. It kinda ****ed with my head. No closure. Kinda feel a bit like I'm in limbo if I'm honest.

 

[Loki.7]

Sounds like you got out pretty easy. Could have been really messy with the kinds and all. Count yourself lucky. Now you can find a women to have your children with.

I don't know. I think I would have preferred messy and big arguments if I'm honest. At least i'd have closure.

 

[Lookatu]

Not even a proper discussion. "Basically it's not over anything in particular, we've been growing apart , I still love you , but we should break up " .

Not really talked since. It kinda ****ed with my head. No closure. Kinda feel a bit like I'm in limbo if I'm honest.

That's rough. My guess is that she has been cheating on you more recently and fell for another guy. She didn't want to talk as eventually that info might've gotten out.

Generally when things end abruptly with no discussion or weak explanation, it generally means there was another person in the picture before that moment.

Karma is a b1tch and she'll get what's coming. Just don't be weak and accept her back in your life after what she did but how she did it as well. Clearly she's also only looking out for herself and not her kids either because after being in the kid's lives for 7 years, I'm sure they've grown attached.

 

[Loki.7]

That's rough. My guess is that she has been cheating on you more recently and fell for another guy. She didn't want to talk as eventually that info might've gotten out.

Generally when things end abruptly with no discussion or weak explanation, it generally means there was another person in the picture before that moment.

Karma is a b1tch and she'll get what's coming. Just don't be weak and accept her back in your life after what she did but how she did it as well. Clearly she's also only looking out for herself and not her kids either because after being in the kid's lives for 7 years, I'm sure they've grown attached.

No Idea if she was cheating or not. To be honest I didn't really think of that one.

Who knows though.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Like a couple others said. She did you a favor. Single moms are for pump and dumping. She just flushed seven years of your loyalty and love down the toilet. Hypergamy doesn't care.

 

[BMX]

Move on as fast as you can. Don't look back. It's a matter of how far you run, not how fast you can run. Tough times are calling, don't allow her back in. Stay far south.

 

[rart]

I don't know. I think I would have preferred messy and big arguments if I'm honest. At least i'd have closure.

You have been given a gift of freedom. Come on man, two kinds from another dude, over the hill broad. You should be celebrating.

 

[Loki.7]

Not that easy though. I was happy in the relationship for a long time.

It's hard when you get the rug pulled from under your feet and everything changes. I'm going to be alright but it does suck right now.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Thats what happens when bluepilled NAWALT guy, believing in disney-love, meets LTR.

I can't see us getting back together. I don't think I would ever go back not after this.

If you "don´t think" you would go back, she will have you back after one phonecall when it doesnt work out with the guy she monkey branched to.

What you have to do now is, block her on everything you got. (Social media, phone, email, whatever)

If you went back to her she would have even less respect for you then before and she will drop you again as soon as she sees opportunity.

Never have contact with her again and move on.

Use this chance to learn about the ways of women, become the best version of yourself and FORGET SINGLE MOMS for LTR.

 

[Glassguy]

Not even a proper discussion. "Basically it's not over anything in particular, we've been growing apart , I still love you , but we should break up " .

Not really talked since. It kinda ****ed with my head. No closure. Kinda feel a bit like I'm in limbo if I'm honest.

Proper response-
"Yeah I agree. Its been a long time coming and I am relieved to finally be done with this situation. Take care"

Then you ghost.

 

[Loki.7]

She was actually alright I was happy with her. It was a nice life while it lasted, I enjoyed it and don't regret it.

I don't know what this red pill, blue pill thing people are talking about.

I'm not hating women or anything and I don't want to be one of those guys. I've got two best mates, they went opposite ways after a break up.

One starts goes hating women and ****ing about. He's been like that for over a decade. He's sort of twisted and messed up. I can tell he's not happy and he reeks of bitterness.

My other friend latched onto another women. He pretends to be happy but he's basically latched onto a new girl (his now wife ) and he's still sucking on momma's titty.


As for me... I don't know. I think I need to find myself. I need to start empire building, my biggest mistake was being a guest into her life (moving up north to live with here). It was a huge mistake, it threw everything off.

I guess I've learned that it's the women that needs to be the guest in my life. Obvious with hindsight , but at the time I was in love and it logistically made sense.

I have property here which own outright that I'm currently renting out. So it's not like I'm ****ed ****ed.

So I guess the plan is to work on my body (I need to feel strong again), rebuild my social circle, expand with new people (I do dog bitework sports ) so I'll have a new club/social circle soon, I also need to start building a business (dog training and walking) and get my house back. Business / income before I scrap my rental income (currently living with family).

So lots going on . As for women, I'm confident that I'm attractive and will do just fine. I even got hit on the other day by an attractive women when I was out walking my dog, she asked for my number which I refused due to being in my current state od mind. I know it's only a silly little thing but it was nice considering I'm at my lowest right now and walking around looking like golem in my opinion. A bit of a confidence booster , a little nod to remind me I still have it. Plus I can only rise from here.

I also had a look on online dating . Just for a scout around. A few conversations and it seems very easy to pick up women these days.

I ghosted them all as I'm not ready for that, not even just random sex. It was more recon and because I felt a bit lonely, not a good place to be coming from.

I'm mainly waffling on now for my own benefit. Just putting pen to paper.

I know what I want. I want the relationship thing , family kids e.t.c. I'll be a bit wiser this time around though.

Build my foundation. Mabye screw around and keep an open mind to when someone right comes along.

No idea when I'm going to feel ready to get back into game. I suppose when I start moving forward it will just naturally happen.

I need to remember who I once was before this relationship so I can start ****ing life again.

 

[Ricky]

Not that easy though. I was happy in the relationship for a long time.

It's hard when you get the rug pulled from under your feet and everything changes. I'm going to be alright but it does suck right now.

Been having a rough patch in my marriage. 7 years isn't insignificant. I've been with my wife for 15 years, married for 12

Try to work on at least one item, physically, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. There have almost certainly been items in each area you have neglected while in an LTR. Its quite likely she will contact you again, what you do with that is up to you.

 

[Lookatu]

I guess I've learned that it's the women that needs to be the guest in my life.

I have property here which own outright that I'm currently renting out.

So I guess the plan is to work on my body (I need to feel strong again), rebuild my social circle, expand with new people (I do dog bitework sports ) so I'll have a new club/social circle soon, I also need to start building a business (dog training and walking) and get my house back. Business / income before I scrap my rental income (currently living with family).

As for women, I'm confident that I'm attractive and will do just fine.

I also had a look on online dating . Just for a scout around. A few conversations and it seems very easy to pick up women these days.

It sounds like you got a plan but more importantly, you already got a state of mind to succeed in life and move forward. Good for you.

It's easy to just play victim by complaining and whining about things without setting up plan and goals. It sounds like you're on the right path by not being this way.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I don't know what this red pill, blue pill thing people are talking about.
I'm not hating women or anything and I don't want to be one of those guys. I've got two best mates, they went opposite ways after a break up.
One starts goes hating women and ****ing about. He's been like that for over a decade. He's sort of twisted and messed up. I can tell he's not happy and he reeks of bitterness.
My other friend latched onto another women. He pretends to be happy but he's basically latched onto a new girl (his now wife ) and he's still sucking on momma's titty.

These are the two extremes of the spectrum. You want to aim for the middle. You want to learn red pill in order to understand how women think, what they respond to, what their motivations are, how to read them, and how male-female relationships really work. But once armed with that knowledge, you have a choice on how to proceed - you can either turn bitter and angry at women for how they are by nature, or simply accept it and learn how to leverage the information for you own personal benefit. What I can say is that once you learn it, for better or for worse, your life is forever changed. The ideas you had of love, what a long-term relationship with a woman really means, and what is underpinning it all loses its mystery and idealism. You see it for the dog-eat-dog situation it truly is just like the rest of the world. If you need any proof of this, look at what just happened to you from the woman you thought loved you.

I know what I want. I want the relationship thing , family kids e.t.c. I'll be a bit wiser this time around though.

You might want to ask yourself a lot of questions about this. Why do you want this? What do you think you will get from it and be able to give to it? Per my previous paragraph, consider that your idealistic vision of what the relationship thing is might not be accurate. Women come and go. You can't control them. Your influence on them is limited to your being the best man you can, and understanding what it means to be the best man you can, and understanding what women want and need and how they think. Beyond that, you have no control and they can leave at any time. Cheat at any time. Even if you do everything "right". The solution is to make your life totally complete and satisfying without women - through friends, social circles, hobbies/interest, business, health, wealth, etc, and then when a woman enters your world, it's icing on the cake as opposed to the end-state goal itself (because you can't control it). Then if and when the woman decides to leave your world, the loss is small in comparison to everything else you have going on in your life, and because of where you are and what you know, you know another woman will be right around the corner and if not, you don't care either way.

I would advise you to avoid online dating. It is unbalanced and favors women. It results in women having far more selection of far better looking guys than they normally would. This results in a lot of flaking and often matching only with women below your league which can be a real confidence hit to a guy who is trying to rebuild himself.

 

[Loki.7]

These are the two extremes of the spectrum. You want to aim for the middle. You want to learn red pill in order to understand how women think, what they respond to, what their motivations are, how to read them, and how male-female relationships really work. But once armed with that knowledge, you have a choice on how to proceed - you can either turn bitter and angry at women for how they are by nature, or simply accept it and learn how to leverage the information for you own personal benefit. What I can say is that once you learn it, for better or for worse, your life is forever changed. The ideas you had of love, what a long-term relationship with a woman really means, and what is underpinning it all loses its mystery and idealism. You see it for the dog-eat-dog situation it truly is just like the rest of the world. If you need any proof of this, look at what just happened to you from the woman you thought loved you.



You might want to ask yourself a lot of questions about this. Why do you want this? What do you think you will get from it and be able to give to it? Per my previous paragraph, consider that your idealistic vision of what the relationship thing is might not be accurate. Women come and go. You can't control them. Your influence on them is limited to your being the best man you can, and understanding what it means to be the best man you can, and understanding what women want and need and how they think. Beyond that, you have no control and they can leave at any time. Cheat at any time. Even if you do everything "right". The solution is to make your life totally complete and satisfying without women - through friends, social circles, hobbies/interest, business, health, wealth, etc, and then when a woman enters your world, it's icing on the cake as opposed to the end-state goal itself (because you can't control it). Then if and when the woman decides to leave your world, the loss is small in comparison to everything else you have going on in your life, and because of where you are and what you know, you know another woman will be right around the corner and if not, you don't care either way.

I would advise you to avoid online dating. It is unbalanced and favors women. It results in women having far more selection of far better looking guys than they normally would. This results in a lot of flaking and often matching only with women below your league which can be a real confidence hit to a guy who is trying to rebuild himself.

I mean no offense but to me that seems to be rooted in insecurity. As in "don't get into a relationship because she will eventually cheat on you or leave you". Look what what happened to me , I had a good time with her no regrets, I'm thankful for that time, it's ended , I'm fine, the world hasn't ended. It's just the start of my next adventure It's no big deal.

Personally what I enjoy is the companionship. Messing about with multiple women is fun, I get that , I've previously enjoyed it and that's the direction I might take things for mabye a year or Two.

The way I see if though ultimately you're dedicating a good chunk of your time and effort to women when your ****ing about. It's fun for a while, longterm it takes up too much time and I find it gets old.

The way I see things goings is I'll probably go on a bit if a rampage for a bit. Kinda like a kid in a candy shop , been 7 years since I've been with another women.

Then I'll find a nice homely girl to relax with.


I totally get building yourself up so you don't need women. That's exactly what everyone should do.

What I'm saying is when you are at the point, why not just have a women hanging around with you in a relationship and make some babies if that's your thing.


If you have the foundation and don't need her. What's the harm of bonding yourself to a women ?