Starting a relationship advice needed

[eveningnews]

Hi, I've never had a longterm relationship with any girls. In fact, I wasn't very much successful with them until this summer, mainly thx to reading and doing some of the stuff on PUA websites. At the start of school I hooked up (no sex) with a girl (and made out with her friend in the same room, but that's a story for another time) and I kinda enjoyed it and asked for her number which she gave to me.

So fast forward to a week later and I see her again by chance late this Friday and afterwards decide to call her up and see if she wanted to "chill" at my place, which she said yeah and came over and we did the thing again (no sex). I made plans to hang out with her again the next day (this sat) and watched a movie at my place, followed by a bunch of conversation and more hooking up (no sex!! apparently she is a virgin).

Next I made plans for today to cook her dinner, but she only had an hour to hang out before she had to go back and do a bunch of work (we're in college btw). So we hang out today, eat, talk a bit, I tried to make some moves, but she gently refused saying if we started now she wouldn't leave for a while and then wouldn't be able to do the work she wanted. That's ok, I kinda expected it tho it kinda made me doubt myself .

I hope you enjoyed the story for what it's worth but now comes the question, what steps do I take to move this relationship forward? It's pretty clear she enjoys hanging out and I've made her come every time we hooked up (not me though, she's kinda bad at that ). I want to know, what steps do I take next? Do I call her up and invite her to dinner during the week? Do I wait until the weekend (Fri/Sat) and call her then to come out and party with me? I kinda like her. She's focused on her school work and is an overall good girl, so she's def relationship material. Thx!

 

[TruthHurts]

advice=take it slow, listen to gut feeling.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Listen Imma Tell U Like Dis. I Dont Kno Bout How Every1 Does It Aroun On Dis Forumn Gettin Into Relationships. But I Feel Like Im One Of Da Best Into Gettin Relationships. Da Only Problem Wit Me Is Da Part With Actually Goin Outside N Talkin To Dem. But If I Eva Get A Numba Or Talk To A Girl Online Im Very Good At Talkin To Them N I Basically Get Into A Relationship Dat Same Day Dependin How Da Phone Conversation Is Or Da Next Day.


I Say Jus Go Fo It Tonite,tom When U See Her. Jus Go Fo It, U Kno Dat Feeling Dat If U Wait Till A Week Who Knows Wat Will Hapen Durin Dat Time. She Might Find Some1 Else Na Mean. Jus Go Fo It Now. Tom Call Her Tell Her U Have To Tell Her Sumthin In Person. If She Cant Den Jus Tell Her On Da Phone. 90%sure She Will Say Yea Since U 2 Already Made Out B4.

But U Have To Say All Of Dis Smooth N Confidently Ya Dig

 

[Phyzzle]

So you hung out 3 days in a row? That's a bad idea. Plus, don't initiate the touching. She probably thinks you're a just a horny teenager (and you are). I'm guessing there's too much groping too fast whenever you meet.

 

[eveningnews]

So you hung out 3 days in a row? That's a bad idea. Plus, don't initiate the touching. She probably thinks you're a just a horny teenager (and you are). I'm guessing there's too much groping too fast whenever you meet.

why is it a bad idea? i really wanted to get to know her and not make her just a hook up buddy, there was no drinking involved in either sat or sun.

about the touching, she seems like a very shy girl and unless she's been drinking she won't go for it

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Man Is U Blind, Jus Ask Her To B Ur Girl. Simple As Dat, **** All Of Dat Waitin ****. Its Not Gonna Get U Nowhere But Da Friendship Zone Believe Dat Ya Dig

 

[eveningnews]

Man Is U Blind, Jus Ask Her To B Ur Girl. Simple As Dat, **** All Of Dat Waitin ****. Its Not Gonna Get U Nowhere But Da Friendship Zone Believe Dat Ya Dig

i'm nowhere near the friend zone seeing as i have fooled around with her 3 of the times 4 times i've been with her. she's a smart girl, i think if i take it too fast she'll eject quick

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Take It From Me, I've Been Where U At, Been There/done Dat. I Kno U Might Think Dat It Is Too Early But This Is Not True. If U Think Dat She Is Feelin U, Den Go Fo It. Wats Gonna B Da Difference From Now To Next Week? Jus More Talkin N Kissin N Makin Out? ( Even Tho I Aint Sayin Dat Is Bad But Fo Me Mentally I Would Like To Kno Dat She Is Jus Mines Only Na Mean) U Think Jus Talkin To Her On Da Phone N Seein Her A Few Days Dis Week Witout Askin Her Out Is Gonna Make Her Jus Ask U Out? U Have To Do It. Do This B4 U Get A Oneitis Na Mean. Holla Early

 

[eveningnews]

Take It From Me, I've Been Where U At, Been There/done Dat. I Kno U Might Think Dat It Is Too Early But This Is Not True. If U Think Dat She Is Feelin U, Den Go Fo It. Wats Gonna B Da Difference From Now To Next Week? Jus More Talkin N Kissin N Makin Out? ( Even Tho I Aint Sayin Dat Is Bad But Fo Me Mentally I Would Like To Kno Dat She Is Jus Mines Only Na Mean) U Think Jus Talkin To Her On Da Phone N Seein Her A Few Days Dis Week Witout Askin Her Out Is Gonna Make Her Jus Ask U Out? U Have To Do It. Do This B4 U Get A Oneitis Na Mean. Holla Early

if i try to pursue too strong and too early while she's still undecided about me, it'll make me seem like a needy AFC and we all know where those guys get. i was one of those guys a few months ago, but i'm trying to change. one change is to not get oneitis by constantly being in contact with her. i've seen her 3 days in a row, isn't it time for a break?

 

[stylemaker]

advice=take it slow, listen to gut feeling.

I agree with TruthHurts. If something doesn't seem right, don't do it and conversely, if something seems right, then do it.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Lol Forgot Bout Dat 3days In A Row Thing. U Should Have Done Dis Da 2nd Day U Saw Her Afta U Finished Makin Out. 3days N She's Still Not Ur Girl Yet?? Eitha U Ask Her Out Tom(50/50 Chance) Or U Chill Out N Look Fo Otha Girls. If She Doesnt Call U Or Anythin From Today Till Lets Say Thursday Or Friday. Den Call Her On Friday Nite Or Sat N See Wats Up Wit Her Ya Dig. Holla Early

 

[Sadao]

if i try to pursue too strong and too early while she's still undecided about me, it'll make me seem like a needy AFC and we all know where those guys get. i was one of those guys a few months ago, but i'm trying to change. one change is to not get oneitis by constantly being in contact with her. i've seen her 3 days in a row, isn't it time for a break?

There is no deadline for when you should take a break from a girl. If you are both still enjoying your dates or whatever you want to call them, then do not discontinue them soley because some website told you that you're being too clingy. Base your actions on her emotions and how she is feeling.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

why is it a bad idea? i really wanted to get to know her and not make her just a hook up buddy, there was no drinking involved in either sat or sun...

Be careful not to get swept up in the romance, it could shadow the aspects of the girl.

 

[eveningnews]

Be careful not to get swept up in the romance, it could shadow the aspects of the girl.

i'm not sure what you mean. can you be a bit more specific?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

i'm not sure what you mean. can you be a bit more specific?

All of your actions so far (even though you're making forward progress) you may be putting a ton of emphasis on the romantic feelings you are having because of the activities you guys have been up to. You say that you want a LTR and that's fine, but it's a bit strange that you haven't mentioned anything that draws to to this girl as a person, you've only talked about the romantic things you have done.

 

[eveningnews]

All of your actions so far (even though you're making forward progress) you may be putting a ton of emphasis on the romantic feelings you are having because of the activities you guys have been up to. You say that you want a LTR and that's fine, but it's a bit strange that you haven't mentioned anything that draws to to this girl as a person, you've only talked about the romantic things you have done.

This is probably because I've never had a LTR and therefore I don't really know myself what makes good relationship material. I know she's a pre-med, is very studious, smart, and is very horny at times, and doesn't mind hanging out with me for extended periods of time. So far I've decided these are qualities that would be good for a LTR. I'm just wondering what steps I can take to escalate this into a relationship, and perhaps a LTR at some point later.

My gut feeling tells me that I should wait a few days before contacting her if she doesn't contact me, because I feel like I need to be sure there is an attraction coming from the other end of things. However, being inexperienced I'm asking for advice from other people. I talked to one of my buddies on AIM who went through the same thing (first LTR he tried) and he told me that after he hooked up with his girl the first few times, he decided to do the freeze out and less then a week later she initiated the contact and they've been dating for over a year.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I know she's a pre-med, is very studious, smart, and is very horny at times,...

Dime a dozen... Tons of women with these credentials all over. So what makes this one special?

... and doesn't mind hanging out with me for extended periods of time.

Oh, that's it...

...
So far I've decided these are qualities that would be good for a LTR.

...
This is probably because I've never had a LTR and therefore I don't really know myself what makes good relationship material.

Uh-huh... That explains it...

...
My gut feeling tells me that I should wait a few days before contacting her if she doesn't contact me, because I feel like I need to be sure there is an attraction coming from the other end of things.

Makes sense.

...
I talked to one of my buddies on AIM who went through the same thing (first LTR he tried) and he told me that after he hooked up with his girl the first few times, he decided to do the freeze out and less then a week later she initiated the contact and they've been dating for over a year.

No guarantee that you're in the same situation he was in but it's possible. Just make sure she's the type of woman who takes the initiative.

 

[eveningnews]

Hey, if I had enough experience with this whole thing I wouldn't need to post here for advice, would I?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hey, if I had enough experience with this whole thing I wouldn't need to post here for advice, would I?

True, I was just pointing out some things that you said that may make things a bit difficult for you. You may consider slowing your roll towards a LTR until you get a chance to figure out whether what you want will be truly good for you.

Think of the process like buying a pair of shoes. You need to first understand what you want to do in the shoes to determine whether you would need sports, casual, dress shoes or boots. Then you need to know what size you would need. Even knowing those things you don't just buy a pair off the rack without trying it on to check out how they feel. Heck, you may try on a few pairs of the same brand/model or choose an entirely different pair because you realize that the pair you just chose wasn't really your style; so the search continues.

Doesn't it make sense to put in at least as much effort when choosing a woman for a LTR as what you would put into buying a pair of shoes? Perhaps this is why a lot of guys have shoes that have lasted much longer than their relationships.

Just something to consider....