EverywhereMan
Don Juan
When going to school, the number one philosophy that my family
told me to follow when dealing with bullies was to "just ignore them".
I followed this to a 'T', and of course, bullies quickly worked out
that I would take their sh** like a b*tch. Mostly verbal abuse, and some actions that they would do just to piss me off.
I would just pretend they weren't there, and that they weren't doing anything, and this is the worst part- KEEP ON SMILING AND JOKING!
Fast forward to today, and I'm an extremely together guy, but I still
indulge in this ***** behaviour occasionally.
There'll be some d**khead giving me sh**, and I'll automatically ignore
it. I end up coming off as a complete p**sy to everybody around me, and this definitely will hurt my game. (Everyone will agree that a very high priority for a female is a guy whose not afraid to stand up for himself. I would say that I'm not afraid, I just have a false belief that the best thing to do is to ignore them).
I'm not talking about random thugs in the street, but people who I KNOW, blatently disrespecting me infront of all my friends.
Say, for example, that this happens in a night out at the pub. For the next few days, I'll have quite low self-esteem. I cannot allow this to happen again!
Of course, I've repeated over and over again to myself that
next time it happens, I'll protect my honour, with words, and as a last resort, actions.
However it's not like being afraid to start a conversion with a female, because I can't decide *when* it will next happen. I'm not a jerk, so I won't initiate a conflict with someone, just so I can feel macho. I have no control over *when*, so I just have to be on my guard.
When the current term/semester ends, I'm going to enroll in some sort of martial art (Tae Kwon Doe, most likely). This is by far the weakest part of my character, and I'm only now starting to deal with it head on. I know I'll feel so much more confident when this is dealt with.
It would be helpful if guys who have experienced the same kind of thing as me could tell me how they dealt with it. I imagine that standing up for yourself is a basic thing that is self-taught in school for most guys, but I never went through this process!
cheers.
told me to follow when dealing with bullies was to "just ignore them".
I followed this to a 'T', and of course, bullies quickly worked out
that I would take their sh** like a b*tch. Mostly verbal abuse, and some actions that they would do just to piss me off.
I would just pretend they weren't there, and that they weren't doing anything, and this is the worst part- KEEP ON SMILING AND JOKING!
Fast forward to today, and I'm an extremely together guy, but I still
indulge in this ***** behaviour occasionally.
There'll be some d**khead giving me sh**, and I'll automatically ignore
it. I end up coming off as a complete p**sy to everybody around me, and this definitely will hurt my game. (Everyone will agree that a very high priority for a female is a guy whose not afraid to stand up for himself. I would say that I'm not afraid, I just have a false belief that the best thing to do is to ignore them).
I'm not talking about random thugs in the street, but people who I KNOW, blatently disrespecting me infront of all my friends.
Say, for example, that this happens in a night out at the pub. For the next few days, I'll have quite low self-esteem. I cannot allow this to happen again!
Of course, I've repeated over and over again to myself that
next time it happens, I'll protect my honour, with words, and as a last resort, actions.
However it's not like being afraid to start a conversion with a female, because I can't decide *when* it will next happen. I'm not a jerk, so I won't initiate a conflict with someone, just so I can feel macho. I have no control over *when*, so I just have to be on my guard.
When the current term/semester ends, I'm going to enroll in some sort of martial art (Tae Kwon Doe, most likely). This is by far the weakest part of my character, and I'm only now starting to deal with it head on. I know I'll feel so much more confident when this is dealt with.
It would be helpful if guys who have experienced the same kind of thing as me could tell me how they dealt with it. I imagine that standing up for yourself is a basic thing that is self-taught in school for most guys, but I never went through this process!
cheers.