Stalker Ex Boyfriend

[Mr.D]

Hi guys, how are you all this evening?

So i'm currently on Erasmus (which is a student exchange programme where you can study abroad during a period) and met this girl from my city which i didn't knew before which is unlikely.

I wasn´t planning on getting in a LTR but long story short, i now have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend has an ex boyfriend on which i can identify myself with those characteristics, a player. He's quite a good manipulator, altough what he's doing now, i've never done that crap ever and i'm having doubts what is the best way to deal with this issue.

Her ex couldn't care less about her because she was a plate, but now he knows she is with me he started spamming her all kinds of stuff to try to get her back. (i miss you, i was wrong, i love you, remember us pictures, funny videos,etc)

So my girlfriends, she's been very loyal, she shows me everything, and she answered him that she was done with him that she would like to be friends and so but he had to respect that she was with me and that all kind of intimate approaches had to come to an end.
After that he started trying to contact her even more. She told he done this in the past and that her boyfriend at the time couldnt bear with the situation and they collapsed.

She said she wasn't going to let this guy ruin things for her again but i needed some kind of proove that she really meant what she said.
For that, she publicly showed everyone on facebook that she's in a relationship with me, and altough it seems shallow, it's a great deal because she never done that before in any relationship and she is quite reserved about her personal life publicly, especialy because her all family has facebook and would see it and and would make loads of questions about me and her.

After that the guy still tries to reach her through messages and by posting messages, she told him if she wouldnt stop she would have to terminate any kind of friendship that they were supposed to have. He continued (like a wackjob, i mean, he speaks alone ffs) so she just ignores all of them messages from now on.

The thing is, this guy, he's from her friends group, and there is no way that he'll go away because they are a close group from the scouts and one of the scout friends, bought a ticket to visit her. To our surprise, so did the wackjob.

How should i take care of the situation when he's here? (she asked me not to kick his ass)
And how should i behave with her friends and him around when we're back to our city?

I would appreaciate some mature responses that would help!
Cheers

 

[Mr.D]

Erasmus Rotterdam Perhaps? I've had some experiance with this girl i believe, PM me if you want. I might actually know who she is and she has a reputation. The story is just way to familiar.

No man, she is from my home country! We're in Poland!
We've never met before Erasmus, but we met just after the plane landed in Poland!

 

[Mr.D]

Sounds like you just need to let it be. Don't even bring it up with her anymore. If she brings it up, blow it off unless she's being harassed. Always try to keep the talk about him to a minimum. The less she thinks about the ex, the more she thinks about you, and the less jealous you come off.

You're probably right, i know for a fact she doesn't want anything thing with him.
She let me answer one of his messages two weeks ago, and i spoke to him as myself in our behalf to respect her and leave her alone as she asked if he cares as much as he says he does.


UPDATE:I'M ON A AWAY TRIP THIS WEEKEND BECAUSE MY MOM CAME TO VISIT ME AND IT'S HER BIRTHDAY AND THE EX SAW THAT AND HE BOUGHT A TICKET TO POLAND WHILE I'M AWAY!
HE KNOCKED AT HER DOOR TODAY!
SHE CALLED ME INSTANTLY TELLING ME SHE WAS SHIVERING AND THAT I WOULD FREAK OUT BUT TO BE CALM.
SHE DIDN'T ANSWER THE DOOR.

WTF Should i do to this guy? I'm only considering kicking his ass right now! ffs

 

[BrainDamage92]

Idk man but I came to notice from my, and other people's experience, when the dude seems like the bad guy its the girl whos at fault. Girls love painting exes black and being victims to be saved. My 2 cents. The guy was prolly alright before she fuked him up.

She may have played him for a fool, and now the stupid prick is hooked you never know, but you have to realise that whats between them is none of your business, been there done that, I did the whole angry phone call to the ex thingy, only to find out the girl owes him quite a nice amount of money, which she didnt pay back as a "revenge" couse he was cheating on her while she was.... blah blah blah blah....

In the end, none of my bussiness. Her relatives arranged the whole thing, and I really didnt do anything with those calls. WHy did I do it? Couse I was a beta CaptSaveAHo ***** ass ***** thats why, and the precious damsel was threatened. *****. God I hate myself for that. I still to this day feel like I want to appologise to the guy and buy him a beer couse I know the effect this girl has on the male psyche all too well.


The calm phonecall wont work. Forget about it. Idk what to advise you, but dont stick your nose into stuff which is none of your business, and in my book "having a stalker" is the female phrase for "stringing men along".

ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS seek fault at the female first if you want to find truth.

 

[Mr.D]

Have to agree. have you asked her why she dident block him? Have you asked her about the guy at all? she might be playing victim to gain control over you.

The reason i asked is because Erasmus in rotterdam is a uni, and theres this madam who drives guys compleetly crazy and than drops em. On to the next victim

Yes i asked about the guy, she told me that he was the most important in the previous relationships but he cheated on her multiple times but she kept going thinking he would change and after that she couldnt go away not because she did still like him but because it was an habit.
In retrospective she doesnt know why she stayed that long with him.

Erasmus is a student programme which lets you study abroad in a another countries faculty. People go out and it from both faculties.

I repeat, she is not playing me, that i know. I've never trusted a girl, and this one i could. Even the silly girl mistakes, she tells me everything, everything.
I dont know how to deal with her constantly annoying ex (which i repeat, she doenst reply to) and how should i be around her friends and with him being there, because i wont change that because that group of friends is there for many many years.

 

[RangerMIke]

This is not your problem. It's HER problem, don't let her make her problem yours. Unless he starts contacting you then don't worry about it. But be advised some women just fvcking live for stupid @ss drama like this, if you get the sence that she's actually liking this thr RUN don;t walk away from this chick.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Oh ye so now he was "cheating on her" this is TYPICAL. DOnt believe a word she says. And dont get involved.

 

[Mr.D]

This is not your problem. It's HER problem, don't let her make her problem yours. Unless he starts contacting you then don't worry about it. But be advised some women just fvcking live for stupid @ss drama like this, if you get the sence that she's actually liking this thr RUN don;t walk away from this chick.

She blocked everything from him, even his number, deleted everything. Says she doesn't want him even as a friend. She wants us without any troubles.

The ex texted me saying that shes happy with me but he thinks he can make her happier and that he wont stop trying to get her back because thats how he feels.

I'm thinking about ignoring this, what do you think?
If hes turning to me that means he has gotten out of resources to reach her and hes making one last effort to create a fire.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

This is not your problem. It's HER problem, don't let her make her problem yours. Unless he starts contacting you then don't worry about it. But be advised some women just fvcking live for stupid @ss drama like this, if you get the sence that she's actually liking this thr RUN don;t walk away from this chick.

Right! Doesnt matter if you can fight either cause a female like that will get you involved in a bigger situation than you can handle and you will get your head cracked open. The boyfriend is the top "stooge" in her circus.