Spying on girlfriend

[ER!C L!VE]

Guy's spy because it's an inborn biological trigger to be suspicious. We get off on the chemical rush that comes from discovering our parental investment (see monogamy) confidence has been betrayed. A Man's reproductive methodology is scattershot - breed with the largest available pool of physically acceptable females. This methodology has to be sacrificed in order to facilitate a woman's methodology of parental investment (i.e. extended monogamy). So with so much at stake from a biological perspective it serves a man's interest to have an inborn "instinct" for identifying prompts that trigger suspicion. Note that I didn't use the word "Jealousy" this is entirely different from the biological, chemical rush that suspicion releases into a Man's bloodstream. Once we confirm betrayal with one woman, we adapt and apply it to the next and repeat the cycle of that chemical rush. It's the same fight-or-flight response we get in dangerous environments. In fact, just talking about it or relating common experiences is often enough to trigger it to a degree.

The reason for this is securing parental investment efforts.

Good stuff. Thank you.

Eric

 

[Gerard-890]

Great discussion that's going on here, but I have to disagree with some of the repliers.

I don't think that for the most part, people only cheat for a "reason" but mostly it's because they can and it's available.

The fact of the matter is that WHILE we grab our partners and sort of "settle in" there's always someone more attractive, more better looking, more smarter, more cuter, and we'll ALWAYS find ourselves in more fulfilling encounters with other people that will MAKE us want to cheat.

In today's society, we CHEAT on our relationship partners become the bonds, parameters, and pre-set judgements that we put in place (this includes men and women) lead to a very LOW qualification process of a potential relationship partner, thus we see MANY QUALIFIED RELATIONSHIP PARTNERS.

See, most people will screw someone that they find attractive. This is a low qualification process.

Men and women must get to a place where they clearly demand more out of their partners other then ATTRACTION, when ATTRACTION is the FIRST thing that you look for.....you find MANY POTENTIAL PARTNERS. This is why we cheat so much, why we divorce so much, hell, there's just too many fishes in the sea with this qualification process.

But what if you wanted a girl with a specific talent, specific internal belief, etc? In other words, your own personal "the one." THEY say she doesn't exist, it's only because THEY don't know who their "the ones" are nor have they build that high quality qualification process.

We must build that process and like Anti-Dump, filter the field into we locate that women that fulfills our desires. This takes research on our internal selves, women, and how to identify the women of "our dreams."

It's like cookie cutter, when you take off your Don Juan masks, your Sosuave tips and tactics, who the hell are you at the end of the day and just WANT IN THE HELL do you want in a women? Write that down and obtain a compelling vision of that woman, research to learn more about the person in question, then when you go out instead of SARGING every chick you find physically attractive, look for the girls with the qualities of the chick you are looking for and SARGE THEM.

This is a higher quality relationship process, this leads to a longer relationship, a more fulfilling relationship, and more trust.

I believe this is the foundation to our INTERNAL JOY from our partners and also the foundation to LONG RELATIONSHIPS, family trees, and family foundations.

 

[STR8UP]

Great discussion that's going on here, but I have to disagree with some of the repliers.

I don't think that for the most part, people only cheat for a "reason" but mostly it's because they can and it's available.

Yea, looking at it this way is like giving a woman a permission slip every time she feels like her "needs" aren't being met.

Fact is, it's not that simple. That's an EXCUSE women give for cheating.

It's easy to say that if you satisfy your partner fully they would have no need to look elsewhere, which is true to a point, however, women are fickle and prone to emotional swings at the slightest provocation.

My theory is that for a relationship to really work, the man must be a MAN and the woman must act like a WOMAN. This means that it's both parties responsibility to play their role to ensure the success of the relationship.

I mean, when it really comes down to it, it's all about fulfilling the other person's IMAGE of what a man or a woman should be. So long as the man lives up to that image, he is fine. Same with the woman.

So as far as I see it, "reason" to cheat would be nothing more than the man failing to meet the woman's standards as a MAN. That's why the majority of women cheat.

So I suppose you can say that opportunity and reason are the two factors that cause people to cheat, but with women they almost always have opportunity, and it's very easy for them to "find" a reason.

 

[Desdinova]

This is when you apply what I call the "common denominator theory". If you're feeling the need to spy on every woman you date, then you are the common denominator and have an insecurity problem. If you don't feel the need to spy on every woman you date, but just the one you're currently dating, there's a reason behind you not trusting her. Figure out what that reason is, and seriously consider dropping her if it's causing you that much concern.

 

[Mr. Me]

If you're feeling the need to spy on every woman you date, then you are the common denominator and have an insecurity problem. If you don't feel the need to spy on every woman you date, but just the one you're currently dating, there's a reason behind you not trusting her.

That could still be an insecurity problem in cases where the guy is more emotionally attached to that particular woman, and so, is afraid of being hurt, no?