spontaneous gift bought, but now having second thoughts

[Flea]

OK, long story short: I like this girl at work, thought we might get together at one point, but she changed her mind, so I moved on, but we still get along ok.

Over the weekend I saw an article about this author I thought she'd really like, so I sent her an email with a link to the article, told her I thought she might want to check out that book.

Well, on the spur of the moment I decided to buy the book - damn eBay is too convenient for my own good - and give it to her as just a little friendly gift.

So on Monday I never get a reply to my email about the author, so at the end of the day I IM'd her and asked her if she saw the email about the book. Her response: "Yeah"

I waited for more - like, "yeah, looked interesting," or "yeah, thanks," or "yeah - but not for me."

But no. That was it. Totally blew me off. So I ended the conversation.

So now I feel like a chump for having laid out the cash for a gift she probably doesn't want, and even if she did, wouldn't appreciate, and certainly doesn't deserve.

Should I give the book to someone else? Save it in case at some point in the future it comes up again? Burn it and spread the ashes in her cubicle?

Have at it.

 

[Chief]

The problem with gift giving is not in giving the actual gift. All human beings are self centered. That said when, even when we give something to someone else it is a self centered thing. We always expect something in return.

Notice, when you told her about the book, you expected her to be happy.

->What is it that you expect in return for the gift?

->If you give it to her and she doesn't do what you hope she will then how will you react?

 

[NewMan]

Lesson learnt.....

Her attitude and the result of this was probably not a surprise to you... but you were probably expecting more surprise - or interest from her.

Stop buying gifts for girls who will not appreciate them.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't know. The whole text message thing is a pain because there's no real interaction when it would help. I would have at least talked to her on the phone but preferably face to face.

So why text her if you work at the same place? Wouldn't you want to get her real reaction for your nice gesture?

 

[smooth_as_silk]

Originally posted by Flea
OK, long story short: I like this girl at work, thought we might get together at one point, but she changed her mind, so I moved on.

The answer to your problem is in your own writing...
If she changed her mind and you moved on, why would you buy her anything ? Don't tell me you bought this book for the sake of her friendship. You should have practiced self-control and saved your money for someone worthwhile...