Splitting the bill on the first date

[Willie Naylor]

You guys are just looking for excuses to be cheap.

Yep. You get that a lot around here.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Man leads. Man pays the bill. Woman submits. That is the natural order. Her ability to pay has nothing to do with this.

So by allowing a man to pay for her, a woman...submits? This is hilarious. You know how else a woman can submit? By taking 50% of your assets plus spousal support payments after a divorce. This kind of thinking is the reason why society is so fvcked these days.

Absolutely. I require women to cook and clean as bare minimum. You guys are just looking for excuses to be cheap.

Do you show up with a bag of dirty laundry for your first date?

 

[EyeBRollin]

So by allowing a man to pay for her, a woman...submits? This is hilarious.

Hilarious is you pulling these ridiculous ideas out of left field. Women submit to men that display leadership qualities. The ability and willingness to provision is part of this. This is biological. Cheap ass dudes do not get quality women.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hilarious is you pulling these ridiculous ideas out of left field. Women submit to men that display leadership qualities. The ability and willingness to provision is part of this. This is biological. Cheap ass dudes do not get quality women.

I understand where you are coming from. I disagree with you profoundly but I understand the thought process through which a man convinces himself the being a walking wallet amounts to "leadership". On a related note, I have a question and, should you answer it, a comment. Question: do you believe that a man who provides for his wife during marriage should be required to pay spousal support following a divorce, so that the ex-wife could maintain the lifestyle that she has become accustomed to during marriage?

 

[EyeBRollin]

I understand where you are coming from. I disagree with you profoundly but I understand the thought process through which a man convinces himself the being a walking wallet amounts to "leadership". On a related note, I have a question and, should you answer it, a comment. Question: do you believe that a man who provides for his wife during marriage should be required to pay spousal support following a divorce, so that the ex-wife could maintain the lifestyle that she has become accustomed to during marriage?

Knock off the strawmaning. Paying for the first couple dates is not being a “walking wallet.”

Re: spousal support it is akin to a severance package. Modern courts have perverted it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Knock off the strawmaning. Paying for the first couple dates is not being a “walking wallet.”

Re: spousal support it is akin to a severance package. Modern courts have perverted it.

Just because you call something a "strawman" doesn't make it so. How is it leadership to pay for a woman in the hope that she will fvck you in return? Leadership implies doing something extraordinary - acting in a way that ordinary people don't. What you are proposing does not fit that criteria in any way. "Beta buxxing" (to borrow a term from our incel friends) is the opposite of leadership. Your are doing what every average Joe does to get laid. You know what it's called when you do something that everyone else does? Being a sheep. Not "leadership".

 

[2Rocky]

Leadership implies doing something extraordinary - acting in a way that ordinary people don't.

FALSE

 

[EyeBRollin]

Just because you call something a "strawman" doesn't make it so. How is it leadership to pay for a woman in the hope that she will fvck you in return? Leadership implies doing something extraordinary - acting in a way that ordinary people don't. What you are proposing does not fit that criteria in any way. "Beta buxxing" (to borrow a term from our incel friends) is the opposite of leadership. Your are doing what every average Joe does to get laid. You know what it's called when you do something that everyone else does? Being a sheep. Not "leadership".

It is clear you are clueless. We don’t pay for the first dates just get laid. There is a gentleman’s code that cheap asses will never understand.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It is clear you are clueless. We don’t pay for the first dates just get laid. There is a gentleman’s code that cheap asses will never understand.

A "gentleman's code"? What kind of a dork would even say something like that? Yes, you are paying to get laid. And you are not fooling anyone with your Visa card "leadership" skills.

 

[Willie Naylor]

@EyeBRollin don't waste your time with this guy. His idea of a fun night is inviting the 'boys' over for a rousing game of Dungeons and Dragons while mom makes pizza rolls for everyone.

 

[BadBoy89]

Our next date, she picked a really expensive venue. I looked up the menu online and it raised my eyebrows. Entrees were $30-$50, drinks were $17. But I didn't push back. When the tab came, she smiled at me. I picked it up. After dinner she said she needed to be up early. I tried making moves but she wouldn't let it go anywhere. She went home. I hit her up again, and she said I was too gropey and forward, and that she didn't want to see me again. I'll admit that several $17 old-fashioned's on a $150+ dinner bill did make me gropey.

Not that women our supposed to make sense, yet first date she takes off her clothes and easily sleeps with you, next date she said you are too “gropey” and “forward”?

What did you do after dinner, try to feel her up in the car?

With this girl, my thought was "I already banged her, she's my girl, I'll take care of her." Too soon for that. I let her lead, I spent a sh!tload of money so my expectations were too high, and although this girl wasn't all there upstairs, lesson learned. This is what beta simps do. They spend money hoping to get hanky panky in return. It's a turn off.

I don’t think that’s the reason. It sounds like she just wanted to get a good f in, not a relationship.

If she was uncomfortable she would have said “I’m uncomfortable with these prices, let’s go somewhere else more reasonable.” Yet she ate everything and then said she didn’t want to see you again after sleeping with you.

But 150+ on a 2nd date? Wow. I have a thing for Chinese so I probably would have done it too, but if it was a white girl, no way.

 

[devilkingx2]

My formula is that the more likely I think I am to get laid afterwards, the more likely I will pay for the date.

There's other factors like if she wants to do something expensive I'd be wary about paying for it (or if I'm the one who wants to do something expensive I'll plan to pay for it) or if I'm dating a girl who I know for a fact is broke vs one who definitely has her own money.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Knock off the strawmaning. Paying for the first couple dates is not being a “walking wallet.”

Re: spousal support it is akin to a severance package. Modern courts have perverted it.

If paying $20 for drinks is a walking wallet, someone needs to get a bigger wallet.

 

[Willie Naylor]

General comment here - incels try to make themselves feel better by acting like it's THEIR choice to not be with women.

"You know dude, I could've nailed that chick the other night, but she wanted me to pay for her dinner and 2 drinks. I'm a man. I have too much self-respect to pay $32.99 for her meal. I'd rather be alone tonight than be out with an entitled princess like that. I knew it from the start; I wasn't getting good vibes off her anyway. Good riddance."

...and they see it as some big win.

 

[Zimbabwe]

General comment here - incels try to make themselves feel better by acting like it's THEIR choice to not be with women.

"You know dude, I could've nailed that chick the other night, but she wanted me to pay for her dinner and 2 drinks. I'm a man. I have too much self-respect to pay $32.99 for her meal. I'd rather be alone tonight than be out with an entitled princess like that. I knew it from the start; I wasn't getting good vibes off her anyway. Good riddance."

...and they see it as some big win.

So Hank, Do real alpha Males like you spend all day on an internet forum bullying "incels"?

 

[Bokanovsky]

I met a cute Chinese girl off OKC a while back. On the first date, I picked the venues -- all casual sports bars -- and picked up the tab. We ate buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks for dinner. We had a great time and I ended up banging her all night, including anal.

Our next date, she picked a really expensive venue. I looked up the menu online and it raised my eyebrows. Entrees were $30-$50, drinks were $17. But I didn't push back. When the tab came, she smiled at me. I picked it up. After dinner she said she needed to be up early. I tried making moves but she wouldn't let it go anywhere. She went home. I hit her up again, and she said I was too gropey and forward, and that she didn't want to see me again. I'll admit that several $17 old-fashioned's on a $150+ dinner bill did make me gropey.

A girl who does anal on the first date is complaining about you being 'gropey' on the second?

 

[Willie Naylor]

So Hank, Do real alpha Males like you spend all day on an internet forum bullying "incels"?

My name isn't Hank. I made a general comment about incels, not directed toward anyone. Carry on.

 

[MissouriMark]

Big mistake was letting HER pick the place for the second date and picking an expensive place and then you still paying for it without any pushback. What I would have said beforehand is, "wow you're taking me out to an expensive restaurant tonight? Awesome!" And see what see would've said before the date. She obviously wasn't planning on paying for it even though SHE picked the place and you already paid for the first date.

First date, man pays. Second date and dates thereafter, either the woman pays for her portion or even sometimes pays the whole bill. That's my rule of thumb. I'll treat them the first time, I'll take the lead, after that there needs to be reciprocation or at least an attempt.

First date whether it was cheap or expensive was on YOU. Second date ESPECIALLY when she picked the place AND it was a little pricey, she should have offered to at least pay for herself. But before that like I mentioned, I would've hinted that since she picked the place and it was expensive that it looks like she's treating YOU to a nice dinner!! If she would have said anything b*tchy or insisted that you were still paying for HER date idea, I obviously wouldn't have gone on the date and probably wouldn't want to see her again.

You already got sex after the first date and she probably figured you needed to pay for it through the nose afterwards by treating her to an expensive meal after having a cheaper first date that you also payed for. NEXT!!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A girl who does anal on the first date is complaining about you being 'gropey' on the second?

Haha, that was her getting back at him for anal...for whatever reason I have had more than one chick say they love it but won't ever let a guy do it the first time they have sex...

 

[DonJuanjr]

So Hank, Do real alpha Males like you spend all day on an internet forum bullying "incels"?

I know James Dean wouldn't be on a forum complaining about guys frustrations...