Spiritual Lessons and Quotes

[Roly]

College student here, I can totally relate to a lot of you guys here in this board. ( and to the General Discussion as well.) I just don't get it why this board or that board is being bashed a lot by the more " mature " members of this forum. I mean we've all been there right?

Personally, I believe there are a lot of egotism and insecurities in these boards ( when I'm talking about the insecure, I'm talking about the so called " experts" who likes to get their egoes stroke and look down upon " ignorant " guys who have no clue in their dealing with women. Yes, you know who you are. You know the ancient saying, as the master teacher puts it:

" One does not fight fire with fire."
With respect and much admiration, I advise all the mature guys in here to be more understanding to the guys that need help.

Like I said, I think we can all understand where these guys are coming from, I have a reasons to believe there are a few " naturals" on these boards and if you are a natural then great, I'm happy for you. But understand there are guys who needs help and require time at this and being critical will only agitate the situation.

Anyways, I'm no life guru or Tony Robbins, I'm definitely not some wise man you would go climb the freakin Himalayas for to seek my wisdom and counseling, I'm not the smoothest guy around when it comes to picking up chicks, I don't know everything there is to it about life, but base on my experience in H.S. let me offer you guys a couple of things which I think can help you out.

Looking back at my H.S. experience, there are a couple of things I would change. One of them would be to be a - a Genuinely Cool person.

To make it simple, being a genuinely cool person means being a cool guy around who is fun, friendly and kind not because he wants to be popular or like, or to receive validation from others to get his self worth but because it is who he is.

He is fun, friendly and kind because he is at peace with himself and enjoys people. Though he may have his views on others, he accepts, tolerate and love them for who they are as individuals, he loves life and his attitude reflect that. He loves himself and accepts and considers himself a worthy human being.

" You can only be compassionate and understanding of others to the degree that you are compassionate and understanding of yourself." - Bob Anthony



That post by Pook - " Structure of the world ", hit the nail on the spot. I don't know why the post is not in the tips forum but it basically talks about how a lot of guys these days are owned by women and needing their validation and approval to be fullfilled, it talks about how a lot of guys are being stimulated by feminine praise, If I was to look back in my High School years, I think I belonged to all four of his categories.

Here's a good quote in that article.

Pook :

"All these guys profess they are happy, that they are the ONLY ones living the 'true' life and ALL others are living a life of shame. They are happy but not joyful. Their happiness is that of an addiction, the addiction is to feminine praise. When it is not there, these males become depressed. The four 'structures' are simply means of getting feminine praise, in some form or another."

He nailed it right there, it sank. As he keeps preaching time and time again, live your life for yourself first and not for women. I know it sounds pretty repetitive, but repetition is a great teacher, live your life for yourself and women shall follow.

I would also would have stopped caring what people thought of me, god, I was so self conscious in high school. I use to be so self conscious of what I wore, lol I would practice my " alpha body language", lol...looking back at it, it was just plain amusing.

But the main point is, stop caring what others think of you or you are their psychological slave. Free yourself from that external stimulant and you will regain a sense of peace.

" The freest people in the world are those who have senses of inner peace about themselves: They simply refuse to be swayed by the whims of others, and are quietly effective at running their own lives. These people enjoy freedom from role definitions in which they must behave in certain ways because they are parents, employees, Americans or even adults: they enjoy freedom to breathe whatever air they choose, in whatever location, without worrying about how everyone feels about their choices. "

- Wayne Dyer.


If you are constantly seeking popularity, always wanting to be the " alpha man" , wants to bang 100 women to impress your friends and prove your self worth, it is just plain silly. If you are constantly comparing yourself to other guys, whoever has the most " game", whoever is the most " coolest", whoever is the most " popular " etc, just to prove you are the coolest and prove your self worth. I urge you to stop because you will never find peace within yourself because you will always want more and more.

" Comparison is a sign of poor self esteem. The person who compares himself to others lives in a state of fear. He fears those he imagines are above him. Believing them to be smarter, he feels unable to stand his ground. He fears those he imagines are below him because they seem to be catching up.
The only way to get through life, he concludes, is to be people at their own game. But, as his primary concern become being " one up" on the next person on his imaginary ladder, life loses its enjoyment."

Yes, that's what's H.S. is all about enjoying yourself and enjoying life.

" Life is a journey not a destination."

When you meet a women, focus not on the sex as the end goal but on the journey itself. When you approach her, you are enjoying yourself , when you are courting her, you are enjoying yourself and yes, when you are making love to her, you are enjoying yourself. The same thing can be said about many, many goals in life.

" Wherever you are, that's where you will go." - Richard Carlsen

Take your peace, happiness and joy in life wherever you go.


One more thing I'd have to say is find solitude and peace in being alone. If you want to go to places in life, you have to accept the fact that there will be many times in your life where you will be - " alone", there will be no one there to give you the inspiration and motivation that you need as an individual other than yourself.

As a DJ, you will have to say no to a lot of the social dogmas out there to achieve your dreams. Let me leave with a couple of more excerpts:

" Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein.

" I am the master of my own fate and the captain of my own soul" - Henry

" Seek first to understand" - anonymous

 

[GateKeeper]

Thank You Roly. This post was absolutely great. Good points all around.

 

[TheOneForce]

That was beautiful

This should be put in the HS BIBLE for sure. Good Job :yes:

 

[Aznkid1030]

That was alot of reading , but nonetheless deep

 

[Roly]

This is a good excerpt from the book I'm reading - " The Shaolin way." I think all the newbies here can learn from this.

" A young boy approached a Shaolin monk and asked if he could become a Shaolin disciple, and become the very best of disciples. He then asked how long it would take for him to be " that good".

The master replied: " ten years atleast." The want- to be monk said, " ten years is a long time." He then asked, " How long will it take if I study twice as hard as anyone else?'

The master replied, " twenty years."

The boy asked, " what if I practiced day and night?"

The master replied, " thirty years."

Totally frustrated, the boy asked, " master, why is it that each time I say I will work harder, you tell me it will take longer?"

The Shaolin master smiled at the boy and said, " The answer is clear: when one eye is fixed only on the destination, there is only one eye left to find the way."

 

[Roly]

This is another great excerpt in the book I'm reading - " The Shaolin Way." This hits right in the spot and money when it comes to the true definition of " love " in my opinion.

" Real love is finding someone whom you want to be with every day, someone you want to share a life with, who makes you laugh, complements your strenghts and weaknesses, but who is fundamentally independent from you.
It is not about attachment, or working out dynamics from the past. In other words, she doesn't need you. And vice versa: YOU DON'T NEED HER TO FILL SOME VOID IN YOUR LIFE - you choose her because you know what you want in life, and she is it. This is a very powerful bond as you can imagine, because it comes from a place of real self worth and belief in yourself, your decisions, your feelings."

- Steven Demasco

 

[Roly]

This is an excerpt from my journal:


" I have come to accept the fact that due to my openminded values and beliefs about life, I have to accept that many people will look down on me, criticize me, think I'am " weird" they will think I have no " morals", they will think I am " stupid" etc. and that relying on my ego, anger and hate is a double edge sword and will backfire on me everytime.

And it is useless and a waste of time to prove my self worth to them.

I must learn the art of self acceptance, compassion and tolerance for all the people of all walks of life. I choose to be personally compassionate and loving without no strings attached, without expecting to be loved back not because I want to be praise and complimented to say I am a worthy individual, but because I find it personally as the " right" thing to do. "

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by Roly


" One does not fight fire with fire."

my favorite version of this is the old wives tale .. "little boys who play with fire always wet the bed at night."

which can be translated to the following..

"when one is not completely mature, they may do things that are dangerous/damaging/ or hazardous (whether in life in general or in a relationship) and they let it be known by being insecure and leaving a trail of hints behind.

 

[Roly]

If there's a couple of things Which I would believe that would help one's innergame they would be:

1.) Know yourself- know who you are, Love and accept yourself, know who you are as a man. Know your morals, beliefs, values , faith and ethics. Learn about yourself, believe what you want to believe not because other people are believing it, it's because you chose to believe it personally.

2.) Have a Vision, a sense of direction/ ideas to where you would like to go in life - I admit I have this problem myself, Maybe because I'm young and lack discipline, which is why I'm considering going to the Navy. But knowing who I am, what I'm after personally puts me at peace.

3.) You can't move on if you can't let go- If you are disturbed, bothered by something or someone like the past or a certain person who has did wrong to you. It would be a good idea to let all the anxiety go, forgive and forget. Simply put it, The past does not exist anymore.

 

[Roly]

My Personal principles for inner Peace:

1.) Stop caring what people think.

2.) Be loving, be compassionate without no strings attached.

3.) Stop looking to be accepted.

4.) Stop wanting attention.

5.) Stop trying to prove yourself to others.

6.) Meditate, do something fullfilling daily.

7.) Realize that you are alone and nobody is really going to understand you except yourself.

8.) Keep an open mind.

9.) Patience is a virtue

10.) Self Indulgence is bad for me

11.) Stop needing people to be fullfilled and value privacy and solitude instead.

12.) Anger is wasted energy

13.) Stop comparing yourself to others, realize you are a unique and worthy individual created by God.

14.) Love and Cherish yourself.

15.) Do things on your own terms, not anyone elses if you dont want to.

16.) Learn the value of self- discipline

17.) It is okay to fail, never place your self worth on any goal. You are a worthy individual regardless of what happens and life moves on.

18.) Stop trying to understand others and accept that ppl are not going to have the same views as you.

19.) Exercise and build em testosterones

20.) Arrogance and ego kills off any chance of learning and growing.

21.) Whatever occupation you get in life- Learn to LOVE it !

22.) Get out of the " I'm right" mentality. It's mentally draining.

23.) Take time out of your day for yourself and clear your mind from the stresses of living.

24.) Understand the fact that life is not going to be always perfect and peaceful, but you can have peace of mind if you want to.

25.) Sex and women is like candy, its sweet but too much of it can ruin my appetite for dinner plus cause me bad teeth.

26.) Sometimes more is less - Examples:

-A stressed out business man in the city turns into a happy farmer in the country.

- Jack Johnson over Slipknot

- A laidback FB over a nagging girlfriend.

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

Originally posted by Roly
My Personal principles for inner Peace:

1.) Stop caring what people think.

2.) Be loving, be compassionate without no strings attached.

3.) Stop looking to be accepted.

4.) Stop wanting attention.

5.) Stop trying to prove yourself to others.

6.) Meditate, do something fullfilling daily.

7.) Realize that you are alone and nobody is really going to understand you except yourself.

8.) Keep an open mind.

9.) Patience is a virtue

10.) Self Indulgence is bad for me

11.) Stop needing people to be fullfilled and value privacy and solitude instead.

12.) Anger is wasted energy

13.) Stop comparing yourself to others, realize you are a unique and worthy individual created by God.

14.) Love and Cherish yourself.

15.) Do things on your own terms, not anyone elses if you dont want to.

16.) Learn the value of self- discipline

17.) It is okay to fail, never place your self worth on any goal. You are a worthy individual regardless of what happens and life moves on.

18.) Stop trying to understand others and accept that ppl are not going to have the same views as you.

19.) Exercise and build em testosterones

20.) Arrogance and ego kills off any chance of learning and growing.

21.) Whatever occupation you get in life- Learn to LOVE it !

22.) Get out of the " I'm right" mentality. It's mentally draining.

23.) Take time out of your day for yourself and clear your mind from the stresses of living.

24.) Understand the fact that life is not going to be always perfect and peaceful, but you can have peace of mind if you want to.

25.) Sex and women is like candy, its sweet but too much of it can ruin my appetite for dinner plus cause me bad teeth.

26.) Sometimes more is less - Examples:

-A stressed out business man in the city turns into a happy farmer in the country.

- Jack Johnson over Slipknot

- A laidback FB over a nagging girlfriend.

Hey, hey... nothing wrong with Slipknot man.

In all seriousness though, we seem to share very similar views in terms of finding that 'inner peace'.

A few of those (especially number seven) hit pretty good.

AS

 

[Roly]

A good quote from Mirror of the Soul blog

"Halcyon

Instead of men spending a good majority of their time via the mating game trying to find "Ms. Right" which some of my friends are still trying to find, whether domestic or import or exporting themselves abroad to find this mythical woman, I suggest men focus on maximizing their talents, fulfilling their dreams, and doing what they really want to do - create the halcyon years for yourself - the years where you are prosperous, fulfilled in your endeavors, accomplishing all things that you set your hand to. Men need to create their own lifestyles and systems where they are in control and call the shots. You will be truly living in the halcyon years of your life - and don't surrender them for anything - especially a woman - if she follows and adapts to your way of life, fine, if not, her loss, not yours. You have the halcyon momentum behind you."

Though, I'm not against the institution of marriage, with this quote I completely agree 100%. It is better to be an occassional
" lonely" lifelong bachelor who has the lifestyle he wants, the dreams he had achieved, the house he want, the vacations he want than to be a miserable married man/ husband who has to put up with a nagging wife and ungrateful kids.

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by Roly
My Personal principles for inner Peace:

1.) Stop caring what people think.

2.) Be loving, be compassionate without no strings attached.

3.) Stop looking to be accepted.

4.) Stop wanting attention.

5.) Stop trying to prove yourself to others.

6.) Meditate, do something fullfilling daily.

7.) Realize that you are alone and nobody is really going to understand you except yourself.

8.) Keep an open mind.

9.) Patience is a virtue

10.) Self Indulgence is bad for me

11.) Stop needing people to be fullfilled and value privacy and solitude instead.

12.) Anger is wasted energy

13.) Stop comparing yourself to others, realize you are a unique and worthy individual created by God.

14.) Love and Cherish yourself.

15.) Do things on your own terms, not anyone elses if you dont want to.

16.) Learn the value of self- discipline

17.) It is okay to fail, never place your self worth on any goal. You are a worthy individual regardless of what happens and life moves on.

18.) Stop trying to understand others and accept that ppl are not going to have the same views as you.

19.) Exercise and build em testosterones

20.) Arrogance and ego kills off any chance of learning and growing.

21.) Whatever occupation you get in life- Learn to LOVE it !

22.) Get out of the " I'm right" mentality. It's mentally draining.

23.) Take time out of your day for yourself and clear your mind from the stresses of living.

24.) Understand the fact that life is not going to be always perfect and peaceful, but you can have peace of mind if you want to.

25.) Sex and women is like candy, its sweet but too much of it can ruin my appetite for dinner plus cause me bad teeth.

26.) Sometimes more is less - Examples:

-A stressed out business man in the city turns into a happy farmer in the country.

- Jack Johnson over Slipknot

- A laidback FB over a nagging girlfriend.

Thats all great except the anger thing, properly controlled anger can be used positively. emotions must be used, as long as they dont use you.
Why? happiness is an emotion.
t

 

[Roly]

"Thats all great except the anger thing, properly controlled anger can be used positively. emotions must be used, as long as they dont use you.
Why? happiness is an emotion." -Rawblood
t

You know that's a good idea - using your anger and its energy and turning it into positive actions. Not a bad way of saying it.

 

[Roly]

Learning to live in the present

You know it seems like a lot of us have been sufferring from the - " I'll be happy when I'm this and that syndrome.
" I'll be happy when I'm out of college."
" I'll be happy when I get that new job"
" I'll be happy when I get that new car."
" I'll be happy after I get a girlfriend."
" I'll be happier in the weekend"
" I'll be happy after I'm retired."

But the truth of the matter is...There's no better time to be joyous than RIGHT NOW.

This happens all the time. We all believe we are a prisoner of a situation that " we don't like" and form a survivor's mentality instead of an enjoying life mentality.

I've seened it happen with people who strived and achieved massive success. But never got out of that survivor's mentality because they NEVER learned to enjoy life and what it's got to offer besides the external things like money and possessions. I've seen it happen all the time where the guy had everything that all a man wanted - A nice house, nice car, beautiful wife, a comfortable lifestyle but since he never got out of that survivor's mentality he was never happy, never satisfied, always wanting
" new mountains" to climb. This later resulted in alcohol addiction, infedelity and seperation from his wife, and nagging ulcers and heart attacks.

I'm just making an example of what not living in the present can really do to a guy.
Sure achieving goals and dreams is great but you sure as hell want to enjoy the journey along the way.
So Live life in the present and enjoy each day- day by day.

Here's a couple of things you can do to enjoy life in the present.


(1.) Do something fullfilling to you each day.

- It can be something like working on a passion or hobby like a guitar or painting. It can be spending quality time with your friends and family. Or it can rather simple or corny like taking a stroll on the beach watching the sun go down.

(2.) Spend some quiet and alone time for you each day.

- Often we live our lives way too fast and way too in a hurry that we forget to think and ponder what's really important. Use this time to work on your inner workings like clearing your mind, if your spiritual - praying , listening to your type of music. etc.

(3.) Quiet the Mind - I know I've said this a lot before. But it really is important I believe, instead of thinking about the past, what are you going to do tomorrow, learn to quiet the mind and live in the present moment.

(4.) Learn to laugh at life

- Of course, having a sense of humor is a good thing to have. Don't take life too seriously. Never

 

[Roly]

Making Peace with your past

This is one aspect of life that can drag a lot of people down. This happens a lot of people from the " successful" to the really miserable guys out there living on welfare.

Their past haunts them and their trying to "run away" from it. Some people who've I've known are really successful, the ones who got all the the credetentials one could ever to be called successful are really miserable. It's like I've got everything, now what?

The answer: They're still being seduced and drag down by their past which they have been running away from all this time.

The thing is, you can't run away from your past, you can only cherish it, accept it and learn from it.

NEVER feel guilty or remorseful about anything which you have done. All life is a learning experience, always see your past as a learning experience and something you could grow from as a person.

Cherish your past, embrace it and learn to love everything that is happening to you.

 

[Roly]

Choose being kind instead of being "right"

I know this might sound a bit of a " girly" advice, but it's universally known that not all of us will have the same opinions and views when it comes to certain things in life.

Now we can either accept this, make peace with this or we can live in denial and anguish trying to make others " understand" us. Like I've said before, - Learn to Accept and love yourself and acknowledge the fact that you are a worthy and unique. Master the art of self acceptance, and you will learn the art of accepting others us as well.

As much as I love this site, one thing that it often creates is the - " Hey, I'm a Don Juan ! I read most of Sosuave.com and I know everything there is to know about woman and life for that matter! " mentality.

Now as much as that statement sounds rather " ****y" or shows " strength". It is not only a neurotic way of thinking that will mentally drain your mind with anxiousness because you are constantly trying to prove yourself to others that you are " right" . Let me ask you this question, how can you continue to grow as a person spiritually and wholesomely if you are always being critical of people's beliefs instead of having an open mind where you are open to learning something?

Ever been really critical and judgemental of something? Sure, we all have, but I can tell you one thing right now, being too overly critical of something and trying to prove to others that you are " right" will always result in mental exhaustion. Always.

A good friend of mine once told me that - " The more secure and at peace we are with ourselves and our beliefs, the less we have to prove to others that we are "right" and they are " wrong".

Here are a couple of good scenarios where you can instead try to be more positive and kind instead of trying to prove that you are "right".

1. A friend of yours is talking about something which you don't totally agree on. You could:

A. Start being critical and start pointing what is " wrong" about the whole thing and start an argument.

Or

B. Talk about the things that you do agree on and keep to yourself about the things you find " wrong." Avoiding an argument all together and keeping a pleasant conversation.


2. Your friend is excited about the White Sox winning the series despite the fact that you "despise" the White Sox.

A. You could start bashing the White Sox saying they are totally overrated, resulting in an unwanted argument.

Or

B. You are just happy the fact that your friend is happy and keep the positive energy flowing.

I advice anyone out there to Choose being Kind instead of being right at times, not only will you feel good about yourself but you will avoid unwanted mental exhaustion that is totally unnecessary.

 

[Void]

Great post, well written.

But I feel like you don't understand the importance of being "Alpha" in high school. It's like if you don't put up a wall, people will walk right over you. And when people start to climb the wall to walk over you (start trying to make you their b*tch or make themselves more "alpha" than you), you gotta push them right off it ( make them afraid of you or completely make them under you.)

I'm having this problem right now and it's bugging me. I'm pretty "alpha" but there's the captain of the football team who wants to fight me now because I won't let myself "be his b*tch" or let him walk over me.

I'm actually a fan of buddhism but no way in hell i'm being walked over.

 

[Roly]

No one is under you Void

No one is under you Void and your not above anyone either. Look man, if you are constantly trying to be " better" than everybody else you will never be at peace with yourself because you are always going to compare yourself to this and that. It is a game you can't win man and it is a game that will keep you in circles, trust me I've been there.

What you need to realize is that you need to acknowledge yourself personally as a worthy and unique individual who has self worth despite your proclaimed social status in School. Look around you and you will see Everyone is worthy, everyone is unique and each of us each have something to offer.

As far the " Alpha man thing " is concerned, most of the " alpha man" guys I've known are just enjoying life, and truly have genuine, loving personality, there is just an aora about them. It's like they're trying not to be Alpha, but they just are, because they just loving their life and loves people.

My tip to you is just enjoy your life man, start learning to listen and be open to everyone around you not because you're trying to be Alpha but because you want to learn and grow as a person.

 

[redspicyflag]

yay