Spinning plates for a long time can affect happiness

[zinc4]

I have decided to stop spinning plates and go back to my GF who i first cheated on and stopped seeing so that I could spin more plates in the first place...

I have just come to the conclusion that ethically, it is not good for me...i always feel empty and too focused on sex lately...all of them want to pursue relationships with me and i just use and dump them after getting what i want a few times....

I do think spinning plates in the very early stages of new relationships is vital and healthy...but for a prolonged period of time it begins to feel really bad, at least for me...i just feel like one huge empty man***** lately.

The reality is sex with the same girl will always get old quickly and i will always be physically attracted to new women...but sex with a bunch of semi-strangers/new people also gets old in a different way and begins to wear on you. Also, it seems like it begins to become this contest with myself or ego or others of always upping the next plate in looks status...always going after women as trophies.....it is just getting exhausting lately and i would like to focus on other things in life that are more important....i just have to control my sexual urges and my ego......

 

[Mr Wright]

From a biological perspective, it may be your body telling you that you've gone around and done what you've had to do, got a few broads knocked up and now it's time to actually settle down for a bit and see if one of those children will actually grow up and prosper.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I can see what you mean zinc, agree on the fact that sex with the same girl gets boring but at the same time all this spinning plates litteraly sucks the energy out of you.

I came to your same conclusion that its more about ego than healthy sexuality, it becomes more about adding notches than have pleasure.

In my opinion spinning plates is a good self defence mechanism to protect yourself in the early part of dating a girl to avoid becoming too anxious or outcome dependant but in the long run it drains you personally.

 

[Zarky]

Bah, you'll get back into it. Once a cad, always a cad. Ask me, I know

I banged 4 different girls last week (no new ones, all chicks I've banged before). Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I'm sick of sex. Yes, if I had to feel one more vagina right now I'd scream.

Buttttt.. that's a good sign. Take some time off, ditch all the b*tches for awhile. They'll still be there when you come back.

Because if you drop all your plates for good, then after a few weeks or months you'll want 'em back. Or your one girl will sense your oneitis and drop you, and you'll have to start from scratch.

Once a player always a player. Once you've tasted the nectar of complete sexual satiation with as many women as you want, you can never go back. Not for long, at least.

The most you can hope for with regard to monogamy is that you'll find some broad who is ok with you screwing other broads. That's the only sort of long-term "keeper" for a player.

 

[dangdang]

http://youtu.be/ut2YaBaKLfk

 

[Zarky]

^^^^^ nice, that guy has some history and knowledge. Good to see.

 

[3countriesPlan]

the lifestyle of constantly closing is really empty actually -- it gets tiring bringing random girls back and then moving on to the next -- its all a really surface type of interaction with no mental stimulation persay cause you are just going through the same motions more or less each time to get the same "first time se x" which is never as good as the girl you've had around for a few months or so... then again sticking with just one is hard too cause you are bombarded with hotties everytime you step out ESPECIALLY in Taipei -- one of the finest places in the world

 

[JoeMarron]

I have to agree with Zarky on this one. We like to say that women with high partner counts lose the ability to pair bond but I bet the same to a lesser degree applies to men as well. You're never gonna be satisfied with one woman and you don't need to be. You can have meaningful relationships with multiple women or one and still spin plates on the side without any drama. The guys on this site seem to be more interested in that sort of lifestyle than the men here so you'll probably get more helpful advice there.

http://www.pua-zone.com/forumdisplay.php?8-Relationships

 

[PlayHer Man]

I'm a well known advocate of spinning plates. I love it and I generally see total commitment to one woman as a form of slavery and castration.

Regarding the "happiness" factor, I think its important to understand that not EVERY man is meant to be a DJ / Alpha. Some men just don't have it in them and can only live happy as betas. There is nothing wrong with that if those men are happy in that role.

As a man you should live as you please and do what works for you.

I'm at my most happy spinning plates. In fact, I feel suffocated when I only have ONE plate. I feel like that woman has too much power. With only one plate.. I only have one sexual outlet. This makes me more compromising and accommodating with her.. which can eventually lead to oneitis --> the domain of the beta faggot :nono:

No man is totally immune to developing oneitis. While it seems harmless enough at first.. it grows like cancer. Before you know it you REALLY believe this girl can't be replaced. That's when you're screwed.

I immediately dump any woman I start liking too much for this very reason. If I can't be my natural, carefree, sport-f*cking, DJ self.. then I can't be happy. I can't be happy worrying about losing a woman or caring if she leaves. It just sucks.

 

[Partizan]

I have decided to stop spinning plates and go back to my GF who i first cheated on and stopped seeing so that I could spin more plates in the first place...

I have just come to the conclusion that ethically, it is not good for me...i always feel empty and too focused on sex lately...all of them want to pursue relationships with me and i just use and dump them after getting what i want a few times....

I do think spinning plates in the very early stages of new relationships is vital and healthy...but for a prolonged period of time it begins to feel really bad, at least for me...i just feel like one huge empty man***** lately.

The reality is sex with the same girl will always get old quickly and i will always be physically attracted to new women...but sex with a bunch of semi-strangers/new people also gets old in a different way and begins to wear on you. Also, it seems like it begins to become this contest with myself or ego or others of always upping the next plate in looks status...always going after women as trophies.....it is just getting exhausting lately and i would like to focus on other things in life that are more important....i just have to control my sexual urges and my ego......

I think I speak for many others when I say what a great problem to have.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

I'm a well known advocate of spinning plates. I love it and I generally see total commitment to one woman as a form of slavery and castration.

Regarding the "happiness" factor, I think its important to understand that not EVERY man is meant to be a DJ / Alpha. Some men just don't have it in them and can only live happy as betas. There is nothing wrong with that if those men are happy in that role.

As a man you should live as you please and do what works for you.

I'm at my most happy spinning plates. In fact, I feel suffocated when I only have ONE plate. I feel like that woman has too much power. With only one plate.. I only have one sexual outlet. This makes me more compromising and accommodating with her.. which can eventually lead to oneitis --> the domain of the beta faggot :nono:

No man is totally immune to developing oneitis. While it seems harmless enough at first.. it grows like cancer. Before you know it you REALLY believe this girl can't be replaced. That's when you're screwed.

I immediately dump any woman I start liking too much for this very reason. If I can't be my natural, carefree, sport-f*cking, DJ self.. then I can't be happy. I can't be happy worrying about losing a woman or caring if she leaves. It just sucks.

Some of you are so wrong about what being alpha is it makes me laugh. That or you just like claiming to be alpha because when nobody disagrees with your claim you feel like you are alpha and get an ego boost.

Just because you're not spinning plates and closing with many women does not mean you're beta. An alpha does what an alpha wants, so long as he is in control of his emotions, relationships, life, etc. If a man chooses to stop spinning plates and stay with one woman, he can still be alpha so long as he doesn't let the woman walk all over him and take advantage of him.

Betas are men who receive horrible treatment from women, but continue to pursue them or act like nothing is wrong because they are too weak to be on their own or drop the girl.

The only difference between an alpha and a beta is the alpha does what he wants and doesn't let a woman or anyone else interfere with his decisions. A beta does what others want because they can't make up their own decision.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Some of you are so wrong about what being alpha is it makes me laugh. That or you just like claiming to be alpha because when nobody disagrees with your claim you feel like you are alpha and get an ego boost.

Just because you're not spinning plates and closing with many women does not mean you're beta. An alpha does what an alpha wants, so long as he is in control of his emotions, relationships, life, etc. If a man chooses to stop spinning plates and stay with one woman, he can still be alpha so long as he doesn't let the woman walk all over him and take advantage of him.

Betas are men who receive horrible treatment from women, but continue to pursue them or act like nothing is wrong because they are too weak to be on their own or drop the girl.

The only difference between an alpha and a beta is the alpha does what he wants and doesn't let a woman or anyone else interfere with his decisions. A beta does what others want because they can't make up their own decision.

You make excellent points.

I think you misunderstood me. I'm not saying any man who doesn't spin plates is an automatic beta faggot. I said --> Oneitis is the domain of the beta faggot.

Its hard to maintain an alpha frame in a serious relationship and completely impossible in marriage. In marriage you are the equivalent of a lame duck President. You have the big title but you have NO real power whatsoever.

Regarding a serious relationship.. any woman you commit to will try to gain more power over you as things progress. She will test you and wear you down. She will use sex to win arguments. That "do whatever you want" crap won't last long. She'll eventually require more compromise OR just leave / cheat. They all do this once they start feeling cheap --> And they all feel cheap when they're not in control. They invented the line: "If you loved me you would.. [insert demand]". This is why the SERIOUS relationship serves women more than men.

If you have no other plates and no other options because you decided to invest 100% into ONE woman.. then you have no real leverage outside of your willingness / ability to walk away.

But what happens when you walk away? --> You get sex elsewhere. RIGHT? So you might as well spin plates and have those options waiting FROM THE START. Unless you take the Disney movie soul-mate route and assume it will work out. You can do that too.

 

[donking]

ideally, men, especially successful men, would maintain a harem

see eric schmidt, former google ceo

 

[Zarky]

"first time se x" which is never as good as the girl you've had around for a few months or so

See, I'm just the opposite. First-time sex is always the best for me. Always. And it just goes linearly downhill from there. By the time I've screwed a chick a half-dozen times I'm pretty much over it.

 

[BeDJ]

Zarky,

I don't know why you get so much hate on here. And that's coming from a personal bias.

 

[zinc4]

I would like to add more to my OP...it's not that it's just empty, but it greatly affects my conscience for some reason...i always feel guilty and torn...especially if one of my plates is a long time GF who i am essentially cheating on...

I am the same Zarky...the best sex for me is the first time with a new girl and that is why spinning plates is so addicting...

Also, Playa...i think it has zero to do with alpha/beta.