Spinning Plates But

[Powerlifter]

I believe the term used here is spinning plates which is having several babes you see in my case I am seeing 3 different ones and possibly another here within a week or so.

Now my question is with this much activity I can't seem to get one lady out of my freakin' mind and I know it won't work out simply because she is married but dam everytime my thoughts are going back to her.

How do you get her out of you mind when supposely seeing other women is suppose to help this?

I feel sometimes I am loosing my mind as if something is constantly tugging at me to keep pursuing her.

Powerlifter

 

[BeyondCharm]

It's called perseverance. Regardless of the habits of the monkey-mind (the distractions of thoughts popping into the head) we do what we must do regardless. Eventually we begin to build new habits and new ways of thinking and those obsessive thoughts subside. Do not try to fight thoughts or get them out of your mind, that is a futile effort. Instead, focus on exactly what it is you are doing in the moment and you will have no room for anything else. If you are having trouble focussing, look into meditation classes from an experienced teacher.

 

[squirrels]

It happens...hormones get naturally revved up and you start losing track of yourself.

You can't fight feelings like that...it just makes them stronger by drawing your attention to them. You can't deny them...again, your force of will is directed to the existence of the problem, reinforcing its power.

What you CAN do is acknowledge you feel the way you do...which it appears that you're already doing. Let the sensation run through you and give thanks that you can FEEL this way about a woman, even though it's an unworkable situation.

I've been off the game for a while...when I was sitting to be called in Jury Duty I chatted up this girl and hit it off with her, got her number. Later that evening, my head was spinning because it'd been so long since I had had that kind of interaction with a pretty girl, but I still knew it couldn't work because she had a kid from a previous marriage. (amazing how many people in modern America fail to use condoms when f**king around)

I'll admit...I was infatuated for like a day or two nonetheless. Trying to push it out of mind does no good...it's like trying to push away the wind.

All I could do is rejoice in the coming of spring and the fact that 1) I could still get amped up about the prospect of sexing a young lady and 2) that spring was finally upon us after a particularly brutal winter.

As for "what then"...sounds like you need something to do. Too much idle-thinking time allows these kinds of thoughts to get the run of your mind.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

POWERLIFTER, go read Plate Theory.

Spin more plates. You're fixated on this one married woman – one you can't have, and thus NOT a plate you're presently spinning unless you're engaged in an illicit affair with her. To move past this one you need to first ask yourself what do you think would be an ideal situation between you and her? Would you want her to leave her husband for you? Do you just want to knock it out with her and move on? Would you want to be in an LTR with a woman who would do either? Could you realistically expect her to fit that ideal, or are you simply playing emotional tampon for her in some lame waiting game?

Now look at this all in the light of your past LTRs or dating experiences. In this respect, do you think you have the education and maturity to really expect any of that, or are you succumbing to insecurities you've had in the past that are resurfacing now because you're single again?

When guys fixate on one woman (on their own accord, not because it's reciprocal), this is an indicator of a Scarcity Mentality. The intent of plate theory is to place a man in the position of non-exclusive options. Options, both realized and potential, are the foundation of confidence. By fixating on one woman, you're effectively limiting your options. This becomes self-defeating because you will end up compromising your options for her - and thus your confidence - which is the very thing that makes you attractive to your target.

Many guys will internalize and practice Game and spin plates, all until they meet the "girl of their dreams" and then proceed to backslide into a beta AFC supplicative frustration. This is due to their never understanding the principles of abundance and the confidence that comes from it. All they see is scarcity and this then makes their ideal girl that much more valuable, they put her on a pedestal and the cycle of rejection repeats.

 

[Powerlifter]

Thanks men for the comments.

Rollo, I believe you have gotten to the root of my problem seems to make alot of sense I will be reading your articles and appreciate it very much.

Powerlifter

 

[Night Owl]

I am happily married, but I still spin plates. You have to always keep a strategic reserve just in case. My wife gets really annoyed with my fan club, which must be around 50 women, but it really keeps her on her toes as she know she has a replacement ready to step into her shoes at moments notice.

As Rollo says "opportunity and options make a man the PRIZE" - I live by this...

 

[zekko]

Night Owl, if you're married, how do you spin plates exactly? Because if you're not going out one on one with these girls I wouldn't call them a plate exactly. And if you are that may not be that good for the marriage.

I could see keeping on good flirty terms with a number of girls as potential backups though.